AN: This is obviously an AU, but whatever. I love it.
Arizona Robbins was used to her phone ringing at all hours of the day for emergencies and she loved it. Today had been no different, so when she was called into the hospital at 3:34 in the morning because one of her patients was deteriorating she rushed to the hospital and into the O.R. to save a life, well two lives. She'd had the nurses page Karev just in case while she got started on the fetal surgery. The baby was only at 32 weeks, and she knew that he might need to come out, and Alex Karev was the second best pediatric surgeon in the country, she had trained him well.
"Hey Robbins, what's up?" He asked walking into the room. Alex Karev was her best friend.
"Hey Karev, the mother isn't doing well here and I called you just in case. Wanna scrub in and give me a hand?" She watched as he nodded and went to the scrub room. She'd already been in this surgery for forty five minutes, and it was nearing 5:00AM, even if they didn't have to deliver the baby, she would be glad for the company of Alex.
He returned quickly, and stood by while she worked, chatting about everything and nothing, when suddenly, "Hey, isn't today the day? The Catherine Fox nomination phone calls?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Yeah, but I don't want to get my hopes up. You know fetal surgery is still pretty unrecognized as a speciality, the F.A.C.S. can't decide if it should be a subspeciality of OB-GYN or Peds or if it should be its own thing." She answered with a glance at the clock, 4:59AM.
"That's dumb. You're literally bringing in woman from all over the country, the whole world. Why does the world know your name, but not the F.A.C.S.?" Alex asked, also glancing at the clock. "Besides, isn't that why you went and got board certified as an OB-GYN, like Herman?"
"That was part of it, yes."
Suddenly her phone started ringing, and she glanced at the clock again, 5:03AM.
"Cynthia?" She asked the nurse whose sole job in this O.R. was to answer her phone.
"617, Dr. Robbins. Boston area code."
Arizona hesitated again. It could be the Catherine Fox Foundation, but it could also be someone else. Her parents lived in Boston. It could be anything.
"Dude, answer the phone." It was Alex who gave the command.
"Hello, Dr. Robbins' phone, Cynthia speaking." Arizona could tell the room had collectively held their breath as they all listened to Cynthia nervously answer. "Yes sir, just a second please, I will put you on speaker phone as Dr. Robbins is in and emergency surgery."
"Hello, this is Dr. Robbins." Arizona spoke to the room, which was now silent except for the two heart rate monitors beeping steadily.
"Hello Dr. Robbins, this is Andrew from the Catherine Fox Foundation, it is my distinct pleasure and honor to inform you that you have been nominated for a Catherine Fox Award this year!"
The whole room burst into whoops and applause, and Alex gave a funny little dance ensuring that he kept his hands in the surgical field.
"But I can see that you're busy, so why don't you give me a call back after your surgery and we can discuss details, sound good?"
Arizona could only nod, but Alex asked "Who are the other nominees?"
"Dr. Henry Barnes, Harvard University Hospital - general surgery. Dr. Julia Hendricks, Brigham - E.N.T.. Dr. James Ross, Cleveland Clinic - Cardiothoracics. And Dr. Calliope Torres, NYU - orthopedics."
Alex and Arizona just stared at each other. Callie.
"Okay Dr. Robbins, call me when your surgery is finished, and we'll discuss details."
As soon as he had finished speaking, Cynthia took him off speaker and took down the details for Andrew, and Arizona and Alex finished staring at each other, as Arizona got back to work.
Callie and she had been nominated in the same year. She'd always known that Callie would do great things. He ex-wife was a freaking genius, and had already been nominated before. Arizona and the rest of Grey-Sloan had watched the ceremony together in the attendings lounge and had sent flowers and congratulations. There had been whisperings in the medical community about orthopedics not being good enough to be recognized, but Arizona knew different. Callie was amazing at her job, and had changed the way people viewed orthopedic surgery.
Suddenly her phone started ringing again, though this time it was the ring tone she had assigned only for Callie.
"It's Dr. Torres, Dr. Robbins." Everyone in the room had known that Arizona and Callie had been married once upon a time, and most of them also had known and worked with her before she moved to New York.
"Answer it!" Once again Alex had spoken for her.
This time Cynthia had instantly put it on speaker phone, and instead of a hello, the whole O.R. burst into cheers for Callie.
When the noise had died down, Arizona spoke "Congratulations Dr. Torres!"
"You too, Dr. Robbins! Where are you?" Arizona smiled at the happiness she could hear in Callie's voice, but also the nervousness.
"I'm in the O.R., Karev is here with me."
"Congratulations Torres!" He spoke into the phone.
"Thanks Karev!"
Just as Arizona was about to continue speaking, there was a knock on the gallery window and they both looked up to see all of their friends standing there waving at them. She nodded and they turned on the speaker. Congratulations pouring down from their friends.
"Who's that?" Callie asked.
"Everyone, Callie. Everyone."
"Robbins, you talking to Torres?"
"Yes Dr. Bailey," and before she could finish her answer they all erupted into applause again, and Arizona doubted that they could hear Callie's thanks over the phone.
"Okay, everyone leave, I have a surgery to finish." The intercom was turned off and Arizona turned to the phone, "Callie, can I call you back later?"
"Yes, please Arizona. Congratulations."
The nurse hung up the phone, and Arizona just looked at Alex, a smile stretching her face. She could see the matching smile on his as he did a happy dance again. "I knew I picked the right mentor Robbins. You're gonna win. And if you don't, Torres is going to."
The surgery had gone well, they hadn't had to deliver the baby, and Alex hadn't even been mad that he was called in for nothing. As Arizona had walked to her office, she couldn't help smiling as people smiled and shook her hand or gave her a high five or a pat on the back as she walked by, the whole hospital had heard by now.
After her call to Andrew she got the details, and called her parents to tell them. Since they lived in Boston she made arrangements to stay with the for the weekend, and when they heard that Callie had also been nominated that year, they invited her and Sofia to come stay. They would have a celebration for the both of them at home, and then again after when one of their daughters won.
Arizona knew that the last time she had been nominated Callie had brought Sofia to stay with her parents for the weekend which they had loved, and they had taken them both out to dinner to celebrate. She was glad that Callie had suggested it, since they were all so close together, relatively, and that Callie had gone to dinner with Barbra and the Colonel.
She faced timed Callie and felt her heart do a summersault when it wasn't Callie that had answered, but Sofia.
"Hi little bug!" She almost started crying. She had talked to Sofia last night on the phone, and they had seen each other over Skype two days ago, but every time she got to see her daughter was both heartbreaking and breathtaking. She was getting so big! She missed getting to watch her grow everyday, but she didn't regret sending her with Callie. All Arizona had ever wanted was for Callie's happiness, and if she had to break her own heart in the process, well so be it. "Aren't you supposed to be in school?"
"Mommy said that today was a day to celebrate, and since Mama was calling I didn't have to go to school!" The phone slid down a bit and showed Sofia's chest, and Arizona could hear Callie say "tattle-tale" as the phone was passed back to her ex-wife.
"Go on and play with your toys, I've got to talk to mama and then we'll go get ice-cream okay bug?" Arizona watched as the phone centered on Callie's face again, and she felt a little bit of butterflies in her stomach. Even through all of the crap that they had gone through since the plane crash, she still loved Callie. Even after the custody hearing. She had been mad, sure, but there was always the love.
She didn't know how to stop being in love with Calliope Torres.
Finally Callie turned back to the phone and smiled at Arizona. God that smile.
"Hey,"
"Hey. Ice cream instead of school, why Callie it appears that you are spoiling our daughter."
"I know, but when they called and I asked and they said your name, I just knew."
"I agree." Arizona had known. When she found out all she wanted to do was be with Callie and Sofia. Callie and she were in a good place right now, they were friends and got along well. It was nice to be able to share this with her.
The silence that stretched between them now was the comfortable kind, the kind they had shared before the divorce and before all the really bad stuff. It was the kind of silence that Arizona knw shouldn't be hopeful but it was.
"I'm really excited to see you in person Callie." And she was. She missed Callie being in the same hospital as she was.
"Me too Arizona. Hopefully we can have dinner together, you and me and Sofia."
"Oh, we will. Barbra and The Colonel said you're not allowed to stay at a hotel this year. You and Sofia will stay with us."
Arizona watched as Callie's mouth gaped a little before she continued, "Please Callie, let's just have this weekend together. I'd love to be able to have Sofia for the weekend, and then you can take her back to New York. This is a once in a life-time opportunity for me, I'm sure that you'll be nominated again and again, but what are the chances of it happening again, the two of us, like this?"
"Okay."
"And you can sleep in Tim's old room with Sofia, and there's a TV in my room and it's just across the hall and there's a TV and, wait. Did you say okay?"
"I did." She smiled, and Arizona could see the mirth in her eyes. Her eyes that were always so expressive and beautiful.
"You did." She practically whispered.
"I think it will be nice. Especially for Sofia. She loves getting to spend time with her grandparents."
"Okay."
As Arizona stood at the gate that Callie and Sofia were due to land at any moment, she shuffled from foot to foot, anticipation nearly killing her. The Xanax she took before the flight was finally wearing off, but it had helped her get through the flight. She'd flown once before, but it was horrible and she hated every second of it. She'd needed to go to NYC to meet Sofia's new school teachers and principle, as well as the pediatrician Callie had found. Though Callie had run all the names by Arizona first, she was familiar with them by name but had never met any of them, so she had flown. It was horrible. Though they had planned for it. She had arrived a day before they told Sofia that she was coming, and Callie had been gracious enough to pick her up from the airport. It was a kindness because Arizona hadn't been sure how the Xanax would affect her and it had made her quite loopy. She didn't remember much from that day, just that at one point Callie was half carrying her to her car and the next she was waking up in a hotel bed, her prosthetic off and Callie reading in a chair next to the bed. She'd left soon after Arizona awake to pick Sofia up from school, and returned the next morning for breakfast.
This time she had taken less of the drug, and while it did the trick and prevented a panic attack, she wished could could have taken more. She didn't want to remember the fear, like the last two trips, but it was there this time. It had been dull and hiding in the back of her mind, but she knew that she would probably have a nightmare tonight, and probably the next few nights. She had asked, and Meredith and Cristina both said it got easier the more you did it, but she had never really been comfortable on planes, but she hoped to at least get back to that.
Finally people started to get off the plane, and she was glad that their flights had worked out so well, landing only thirty minutes apart so Arizona decided not to leave the lounge and just wait instead of going to baggage claim, and then she heard a "Mama!" and her daughter was in her arms, followed closely behind Callie.
A few tears spilled as she hugged Sofia tightly to her, and a smile stretched her cheeks when she looked at Callie who smiled back. With a last squeeze for Sofia, Arizona righted herself and hugged Callie, not as tightly as she had Sofia but tighter than she hugged her other friends. She felt shivers run down her spine as Callie whispered in her ear "you okay?"
She couldn't decide on how to answer, she was still terrified from the flight, but she was much better now that she had her daughter holding tightly to her free hand, lightly swinging it back and forth, so she just shrugged. And she was glad when Callie's face softened in understanding.
They made their way out of the airport together, Arizona and Sofia chatting happily while Callie followed behind them with all three of their carry ons, her voice adding to the conversation every so often. Barbra and The Colonel met them at the arrivals gate to Sofia's excitement and both Arizona and Callie were forgotten as the little girl launched herself into The Colonel's arms, the gruff exterior of the man cracking slightly as he held and spoke to his granddaughter. The whole family made their way to the vehicle, Colonel Grandpa still carrying Sofia.
Callie was settling into her dead brother-in-laws room. The last time she was here, she had only seen teenaged Arizona's room when she had dropped Sofia off last year when she was nominated for the Catherine Fox. Her grandparents had filled that room with age appropriate toys and things for their granddaughter, but it hadn't completely masked teenage Arizona. That Cindy Crawford poster was still there, as were all the textbooks from high school through med school, and there were awards and pictures. But this room, Tim's room, was equal parts shrine and office. Tim's things were still here, though Callie could tell that they had been consolidated a bit, but she could get an idea of who he was. He was the male version of Arizona, and Callie was once again saddened that she never got to meet him.
While she was looking at a picture of Tim, tall and buff and shirtless, holding Arizona while they were on a beach somewhere. The same dimpled smile shone from the frame blinding Callie. She knew that smile, that super magical smile, the way it could light the whole room and make everyone in it feel better, and to see it in Tim, Callie knew that Tim Robbins would have been an excellent uncle, and excellent brother, son, and a wonderful person. When Arizona had called George awesome after he joined the army, she had felt sadness at the story, but looking at the two of them so happy together, she realized the depth of that emotion.
There was a soft knock at the door, so she left the picture and went to open it. Arizona was standing on the other side with her crutches, looking a bit more haggard than she had all evening. Callie had watched her all night, there was a forced smile on her face all night, and she could tell that all pretence had been dropped now. And it wasn't her "I'm in pain" face, but something else, something deeper.
"Arizona?"
"Hey Callie, can I come in?"
Callie stepped back, and followed her in as she made her way to the bed. Leaving a gap in the door in case Sofia called, Callie made her way to Arizona.
"You okay? And be honest this time, please."
Arizona's only answer was to pat the space beside her on the bed. Callie accepted the invitation and sat down. They sat in silence, side by side and closer than they had been for a long while.
"No." Arizona spoke softly, so Callie scooted closer until they were touching and took Arizona's small hand between both of hers. Arizona sighed as she rested her head on Callie's shoulder.
"Sofia?" Callie asked after a pause, and squeezed Arizona's hand again.
"Still asleep, but I was getting scared." Callie could tell that Arizona was deflecting a bit, not being completely honest. She could still read Arizona so well, and could tell that there was more to this late night visit.
"The plane?" She asked softly, and Arizona just nodded against Callie's shoulder. Extracting her right arm from Arizona's hand, she wrapped it around the smaller woman's shoulder and hugged her tightly. She had missed this. Quiet moments with Arizona, Sofia sleeping down the hall.
"I mean, I knew I would have nightmares tonight, but I've been thinking about them all day, the ones I've had before, the way they roll and spin and change and sometimes you're there and sometimes it was you and sometimes it's Sofia, and I guess now I'm scared of them coming and it's scaring me and I haven't even gone to sleep." Callie listened as Arizona whispered her ramble and was about to break in, when Arizona kept going, "and I'm scared because I'm sharing a bed with Sofia and what if I hurt her or scare her and I don't want to do that."
"Hey, hey, shh, Arizona, sweetie, shh." Callie's heart broke in that moment, knew the lengths and depth of fear that Arizona was feeling.
"You were never violent or thrashy in your sleep. When you had nightmares, you would barely move, so you don't have to be afraid of that." Callie could remember those nights, the way that Arizona's voice climbed in pitch and fear, the way that her whole body would go rigid and tense, but she'd never asked why.
"Really?" And now Arizona's voice was small, small in a way that it should never be.
"Really."
"The therapist thinks it's because I couldn't move in the woods." Arizona paused and sniffled as Callie felt herself tense. They'd never spoken about the time she spent in the woods. Or about the fact that Arizona had seen a therapist. Pride swelled in her chest for Arizona, knowing that the smaller woman had seen someone and spoken to someone about it.
But now she was afraid to say something in case Arizona would close herself off. It's not that she wanted to hear about that time in the woods, but that she wanted to hear about Arizona and what she felt and went through.
"Yeah?" She asked softly once the silence had stretched for a long moment.
"Yeah."
"You don't have to tell me Arizona. Not if you don't want to."
Arizona let out a deep sigh that Callie felt along her whole body in the places that they were touching. Callie knew that this was hard for Arizona, and while she had always wondered what it was life for her wife out there, she wouldn't force her ex-wife to tell her anything.
"I knew my leg was probably going to have to be amputated. I mean the bone was sticking out. I didn't want it to happen, I was thinking about dancing and skating and carrying Sofia and sex and walking with you and surgery and all the little things I took for granted, but part of me knew. My wife was an ortho goddess and I watched her amputate dozens of legs, how could I not. But the scared part of me, the one that didn't want to give anything up, believed that you would fix me. That I could be some miracle. I was mad at you for a long time, I was. I don't think I'll ever be able to apologize for that Callie." Callie could feel the tenseness in Arizona's body, the slight tremor of her arms as she held Callie's hand. But she could also feel that Arizona wasn't done talking.
"I couldn't help them look for Derek. I couldn't walk over to see Lexie, to say goodbye. Any time I moved my leg hurt. I couldn't help Cristina pull the maggots out of my leg. All I could do was sit there and listen. Listen to Jerry not feel his legs. Listen to the animals as they - as they - oh god, Lexie. I couldn't help Cristina and Meredith protect Lexie. I could only listen as Mark kept trying to die on me. I could only whisper 'Callie and Sofia' over and over to him, to myself, as he laid on my right leg and kept trying to die. I don't know how, I don't… He was such a good dad, Callie. Mark. He wanted to see you guys one last time. It became our mantra near the end, before we were rescued. I would said 'Callie' and he would say 'Sofia' and then we held hands, and I thought once, 'thank god for Calliope for giving me Mark.'
"But I couldn't move. And when I have nightmares, even if there isn't a plane involved, it's always me paralysed. Someone I love is in trouble and I can't do anything because I can't move. The therapist says that that fear manifests itself that way. That it's a trigger for the PTSD, as well as a symptom."
Callie could feel the tears streaming down her face, could feel the wetness as it gathered on her shoulder from where Arizona was crying as well.
"I'm so sorry Arizona." And she was. Part of her was glad that Arizona had finally shared the story with her, and though part of her wished she hadn't had to hear it, she was glad to know what Arizona and Mark had gone through.
"Me too Callie. Me too." Callie turned and kissed the top of Arizona's head, and just continued to hold her while they both cried some more.
Callie's tears dried out before Arizona's and when the blonde was finished, she went to the bathroom, stopping to check that Sofia was still asleep and returned with a box of tissue. They both cleaned their faces, and Callie didn't hesitate to take Arizona back in her arms and continue to hold her. She felt the way Arizona melted into her arms, and Callie gripped her tighter.
"Is this okay sweetie?" She asked the smaller woman in her arms.
"Yes." Arizona breathed.
They sat that way for a long time. Holding each other. Callie was glad that it was finally happening. She had held Arizona like this in other moments after the plane crash, but now she knew the depth of fear that Arizona had been in, both in the woods and the memories of it happening after in her mind.
"I know I should have told you sooner, Callie, I should have told you when it would have made a difference. I should have told you so many things." Arizona whispered.
"Maybe. But you told me now, and that's good." Callie kissed the top of Arizona's head again. "I should have done a lot of things differently too Arizona."
"I know you have questions, Callie, and I promise you that I will answer them, but not tonight if that's okay. Let's change the subject."
"Okay." Callie wiped her own tears and then wiped Arizona's, extracting herself from the blonde's arms and throwing the used tissues away.
"Okay." Arizona said, reaching for her crutches.
"Where are you going?" Callie asked, reaching forward to help Arizona stand up.
"I was going to go sleep on the couch in dad's office. It's just down the hall so I can hear Sofia."
Making a split second decision, Callie placed her hands on Arizona's shoulder's and as she sat back down Callie took the crutches and leaned them against the desk while speaking "Don't be silly, you'll sleep here, with me. We're both close to Sofia this way, and I'll be here if you have a nightmare."
"Callie," she could hear the tone of warning in Arizona's voice, the hesitation.
"Arizona." Was all she said back.
"What about Penny?"
"Penny and I broke up."
"Oh?"
"Yeah." At that Arizona slid herself back onto the bed, laying against the pillows. Callie watched as she maneuvered the blankets under herself and patted the space beside her. She only hesitated for half a second before climbing into the bed, ensuring to leave space between them.
While it was true that she and Penny had broken up, she knew that she shouldn't be sharing a bed with Arizona, even though she was sure that they both needed to, tonight especially. While she had been happy with Penny, even probably loved her deeply, it wasn't the same way that she had loved Arizona. It was kind of like loving George. It was safe and exciting in a way that didn't make her heart race, and it was comfortable. Loving Arizona had been like the best parts of riding a rollercoaster. She knew that she would always love Arizona in some way, as friends as colleagues, as her child's other mother. But being in love with Arizona was something that was so different from anything before or after that she knew she was ruined.
"I'm sorry Callie."
After she climbed into the bed, they both lay on their backs staring at the ceiling in Tim's room. Slowly Callie reached between the space between them and took Arizona's hand, and they both were silent for a moment.
"Can I ask you something Arizona?"
"Sure," Arizona turned to look at Callie, waiting.
"Do you think I'd be welcome back at Grey-Sloan?"
Callie almost laughed at the surprise on the blondes face, her mouth had fallen open.
"The organization that won the bid for the new NHL team in Seattle has approached me about being part of their team. I still have privileges at the hospital of course, but the commitment they want is only two days a week, and sometimes I'd travel with the team. The Mariners also reached out about a year ago, but I had to turn them down because I was in New York by that point." Callie knew as a member of the board that she should go back, simply for the prestige that her taking that position would bring the hospital. But she was more concerned about personally. She knew that Sofia missed Seattle, and if she were honest she did too.
New York wasn't home. And while she did provide services to the sports teams here, they were all on a case by case basis. In fact it had been one of the Rangers doctors who recommended her to the Seattle Team, and it was permanent position. She also missed working for the Seahawks.
"Oh my god, Callie, that's amazing! Even if you they don't want you back, you should do it anyway! But I know they'll want you back. I happen to know some people on the board who would vote yes for your return. In fact, while it hasn't been made public yet, Dr. Chang is finally retiring, I'd hire you as head of orthopedics!"
"That dinosaur is finally retiring?"
"It may be a forced retirement, but yes."
"Wow." Was all Callie could say.
"Besides, who could say no to the most recent Catherine Fox Award winner?"
"Oh hush, you're going to win Arizona. The fact that they recognized you as a Maternal-Fetal Surgeon instead of lumping you in with Peds or OB means that you're legitimizing the field."
"Maybe. But even if I do win, which I won't because you are, you've still been nominated twice, that's amazing."
Callie could feel herself blush under the praise, and could hear the pride in Arizona's voice.
"Okay, but let's talk about it later. We still have to ask Sofia."
"That's right, you deflect my praise Dr. Calliope Torres, but I'm proud of you. I'm proud to call you my friend, and I'm proud to sing your praises because you deserve all of them. You're a wonderful person, mother, and surgeon, and in that order."
"Okay Dr. Robbins. But we really should go to sleep now because we have a big day tomorrow, you're going to win a Catherine Fox."
Callie just smiled and squeezed Arizona's hand, "No, you are."
They had spent the day with Arizona's parents and their daughter, the only thing surrounding them were smiles and family. Both had received calls from colleagues, and when Arizona had mentioned that she was with Callie, the blonde had handed her phone over so friends from Seattle could wish Callie luck as well. Alex and Meredith had called together, and demanded they be put on speaker phone so they could wish each of them luck. Then when their demands had been acquiesced, they spent most of the time bickering with each other about who would actually win while Callie and Arizona had laughed.
Meredith had shut Alex up with "Well, as I've already won one, I have the upper hand and know that Callie is going to win."
Arizona and Callie thanked them both, and walked into the ballroom where the ceremony was going to be held. When they arrived they found that they were going to be seated at different tables, Arizona had found Catherine Fox and asked if there could be some rearranging of the the seats.
Though as the dinner progressed, Callie was becoming increasingly nervous about the possibility that she was going to win and that she would have to get up on stage and give a speech. She hated public speaking. It was the thing that made her most nervous. It terrified her.
"Hey, Callie. It'll be okay."
"I don't want to embarrass myself. Last year when I was here, I was actually so thankful that I didn't win. I mean I was upset, but mostly was thankful that I didn't have to give a speech." Callie started chugging her water. She'd rather it were wine, or even tequila, but she knew that alcohol wouldn't make her any less nervous, in fact it would probably make her more likely to throw up. She was sure she was going to through up now.
"You won't Callie." Arizona slipped her hand over Callies, where she was currently tearing a napkin into little pieces. She stilled her hands and turned to look at Arizona. That super magic smile was on full display, and she felt herself calm a little. She was still pretty certain that Arizona was going to win, so she wasn't sure why she was so nervous.
Suddenly Catherine Fox was on the stage, giving her speech about surgical innovation and what not, and Callie couldn't breathe. She was full blown panic mode now.
"Calliope," Arizona whispered in her ear, "You're going to be fine."
Callie felt a chill of electricity run through her, and she turned and say deep blue eyes smiling back at her, and she was overcome with the desire to kiss Arizona. Nothing the world could hurt her when she was kissing Arizona Robbins. And just as she was about to do it, Catherine Fox spoke.
"The winner of this years Catherine Fox Award for Surgical Innovation is Dr. Calliope Torres!"
Well shit.
She was frozen to her spot as the room started clapping for her.
"Calliope, you have to go on stage now."
"Come with me Arizona."
"I can't Callie, you have to go alone."
"Please Arizona."
Arizona nodded once, and they made their way on stage together, hand in hand. She was handed her award, but her hands were shaking so bad. Arizona had stood to the side with Catherine, but Callie couldn't see anything beyond her shaking hands.
Suddenly Arizona was beside her, pulling the notecards she had written her speech on from her hands and was stepping up to the microphone.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Callie Torres." Callie could hear the laughter from the crowd. "I am so thankful to be here tonight, to have won this award."
And then Callie couldn't hear anything. She was enchanted by the way that Arizona was speaking, reading from Callie's notecards. The way that Arizona's smile never left her face, the way that the crowd was looking between them.
Arizona reached back and grabbed her hand when she read the last notecard, and Callie could hear what was being said again. "I'm actually Dr. Arizona Robbins, another of the nominees. Dr. Torres is my very good friend and former colleague. When we worked together at Grey-Sloan Memorial, I was always amazed and inspired by her. She never gave up on anything. A lot of people look down on Orthopedics, relegating it to the side after other things are taken care of. There are a hundred different cases I could think of to tell you about the genius and ingenuity of Dr. Torres' work, but there's one that inspires me the most. A man had come in, his dominant hand crushed by a garbage truck, and she was pushed to the side while the others took care of his other traumatic injuries. When she finally got to meet him, she was dismayed to see that the time with which she could fix his hand was fading away. When she told him that he would probably lose a lot of function in his hand, he told her that he was an artist, that he needed his hand. So Dr. Torres, who is an artist herself when it comes to bones, made a deal with him. She would do what she could to save as much function as she could, if he was willing to put in the work. Deal struck, Dr. Torres saved his hand and she worked with him to get him back to 100%."
"On his last PT session he came in with a gift for her, a wood carving. Dr. Torres and I were married once, and this piece of artwork hung in the office we shared at home. I would look at it from time to time, just staring at it. It was an x-ray of his own hand, post-op. The hardware and the bracers, you can still see the fracture lines, all of it. Dr. Torres knows the value of a hand, of the importance that the ability to create means to someone, she knows that bones are the foundation of people and she sees ways beyond living to save a life. I am proud to call her my friend. Thank you."
Callie could only stare as Arizona lead her from the stage, one hand gripping tightly to the glass award the other to Arizona's hand. She nodded at people as they congratulated her and mumbled her thanks and accepted their accolades.
After the ceremony was over, they waited outside for a cab in silence. Callie couldn't help but stare at Arizona. The blonde just smiled back, a loving look on her face. The ride back to the Robbins' home was also spent in silence, though this time there was no staring. They just held hands. Sofia had been granted permission to stay up late to greet her mothers, and Barbra and The Colonel had champagne and ice cream cake ready. They all celebrated Callie's win, and accepted constant interruptions by the ringing of phones congratulating Callie and commiserating with Arizona. After putting Sofia to bed, and saying goodnight to Arizona's parents Callie pulled Arizona to Tim's room.
"You're not upset you lost?" She asked, closing the door.
"No, Callie, I'm not. I would have been if we'd lost to one of those other fools. But losing to you, never." Callie could hear the sincerity in Arizona's voice, could see it written in the lines of her face, the way that her smile hadn't dimmed.
The urge to kiss her ex-wife was back, and Callie didn't think she'd be able to resist this time.
"Besides, I have to remind you, I told you you were going to win. And I was right."
"Did you mean what you said, about me inspiring you?"
It was Arizona who stepped forward and took her hands. But Callie couldn't look at her.
"Look at me." Callie could feel Arizona's gaze on her face, could feel the way those blue eyes, those impossibly blue eyes, were staring at her. "Please, Calliope, look at me." God she missed the way Arizona said her name. She was the only person who said it right. Who said it in a reverent way. Finally she looked at her ex-wife.
"Do you remember in therapy, when I was talking about all the things I love about you, and you said I should have told you those things sometimes?" Callie could only nod.
"That was one of those things."
"Are there other things?"
"Yes, there's tons of things."
"Tell me some?"
"When you told me about protecting Alex from me after the leg, I fell a little bit more in love with you."
Arizona took another step closer to her, the distance between the separating to inches.
"When you would tell me about your surgeries where you did some amazing thing and save someone, it made me believe in ortho. I was one of those people before, who looked down on ortho. But when I saw all the things you could do, not only did I believe in ortho, you made me believe in the power of hope and work."
Callie knew she was crying, knew she couldn't stop.
"I was jealous when I saw you with Steak Knives."
Callie moved closer to Arizona, eliminating the distance between them now, wrapping one arm around Arizona's waist Callie gripped the hand that was still holding Arizona's tightly.
"I didn't believe in soulmates before I met you. I didn't believe that there was one person for one person. I didn't believe in love that could sustain. Which is why I never fell out of love with you. You made me believe in love."
And suddenly Callie was kissing Arizona. It had been over four years since she had kissed Arizona, nearly as long as they had been together, but it was equal parts familiarity and entirely new. It was the way she remembered their first kiss. Not the one in the bar bathroom, but the one after their first successful date, the one after Alex and Izzie's wedding, the one where one second they were dressed up for the wedding the next they were naked in her bed and making the most amazing love that had ever been made.
After long moments Callie finally pulled away, having gotten light headed from not breathing. She rested her forehead against Arizona's and they drew in ragged breaths together, hands still clutching pyjama tops and threaded through hair.
"You are legitimately the best kisser in the world Calliope. I have never been kissed the way that you kiss me. It rocks my freaking world."
Callie kissed her again.
When they broke apart this time, Callie was surprised to find herself lying on the bed, entwined with Arizona. They were still clothed, and Arizona's prosthetic was dangling precariously on the side of the bed. She moved quickly and placed it on the ground, and just as fast was back in Arizona's arms, kissing her again.
"When you get home, call a board meeting, ask about my appointment as head of orthopedics. Remind them that I just won a Catherine Fox, and tell them about the Mariners and the Seahawks and the NHL." Callie had interspersed her words with continuous kisses to Arizona's face. Her eyes, her lips, her cheeks, her dimples, everywhere she could reach.
"You have my vote. But what about this? What about us?"
Callie heard the fear in her voice, heard the way that Arizona hesitated on the second sentence. She felt the same way. They had broken each other, but they were different now, stronger, friends. It would be different. She would make sure of it.
"We'll start fresh. We won't start at the beginning again, but we'll start over. This time we know how to communicate, and we'll work on that."
"Okay."
"Okay."