Wrote this for fun because I had an idea bouncing around in my head. Review if you like. I've already gotten what I wanted out of it.
I do not own the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (don't worry! I'll put them back exactly the way I found them!)
Mikey bounced on his heels. It was time, once again, for the bi-monthly stand-off between Leo and Karai. This time it was taking place in a really old smelling warehouse down by the docks. The kind that nefarious people tended to use to cover up their nefarious deeds. Under normal circumstances, Mikey would be more than happy to listen to Leo and Karai banter back and forth about honor and stuff, throw a few good punches, knock out a few Foot ninjas, and call it a day. However, today there were two reasons that he wanted to be outta there as soon as possible:
1) There was a Justice Force marathon starting in half an hour and he really didn't want to miss the crucial pilot episode (they hadn't replayed the pilot since the premier of the show! This was his first chance to finally see the pivotal starting episode that the entire fanbase had been raving about for months!).
2) (and perhaps the most urgent) He really had to pee.
"Today I will end your miserable existence. I will avenge my father's honor by ending your pathetic clan once and for all!" Karai exclaimed
"Not today, Karai, not ever!" Leonardo declared, lifting his blades and crouching into a position to ready himself for the coming onslaught. (It would be really epic if it didn't look like he was about to take a dump)
"If this is the way it must be, then so be it." Karai said, eyes narrowing.
Mikey rolled his eyes, bouncing back on his heels some more. Karai completely ripped off that line from Space Brains IV. And it was kind of a lame line to begin with.
Raph was keeping an eye on the ninjas Karai had brought with her. They were standing in formation behind her, stiff like statues but he knew better. All she had to do was say the word and a wave of arms and legs and sharp metal objects would come crashing down on them.
"Guys!" Mikey hissed, poking him in the arm. Raph ignored him.
"Guys!" Mikey hissed again.
Raph started that new patience exercise that April had recommended. She'd claimed it had saved her relationship with Casey at least a hundred times.
"1…2…3…"
"Guys… you might want to look up!" Mikey said.
"Ambush!" Don exclaimed. And everything went to shell.
"Foot ninja! Attack!" Karai screamed shrilly.
Hours later they were sitting safe at home in their living room, slouching on the couches and armchairs trying to be careful of whatever was sore and/or bandaged.
"I can't believe I fell for that." Leo moaned, shifting to a more comfortable position. "I can't believe I let so many of them sneak in after us unnoticed. Most of them weren't even Foot Techs!"
"Don't feel too bad bro." Mikey reached over to put a hand on his brother's shoulder, but winced and thought better of it. "It's kinda the oldest trick in the book."
The three other turtles looked at him with extremely confused expressions on their faces.
"It's the Hot Assistant Distraction!" Mikey exclaimed, seeing their confusion. "Oh come on, you guys aren't telling me you've never heard of corny magic shows! Dudes in top hats, card tricks, bunny rabbits, sawing chicks in half?"
"Mikey…" Don said slowly. "What does stage magic have to do with ninjitsu?"
"More importantly, what does it have to do with Karai handing our shells to us today?" Raph asked, growing more impatient by the second.
"Wait, wait, hear me out. Magic shows are all smoke and mirrors. Misdirection. Keep the audience distracted so they don't see what's going on right in front of them. Isn't that what we do every day? Use the blind spots and assumptions that exist in everyday life to keep people from suspecting that there's five totally awesome mutant ninjas right under noses… and feet."
Mikey's three brothers were silent for a moment.
"… That's a pretty good metaphor Mikey. What made you think of it?" Leo asked.
"Karai." Mikey replied with a mischievous grin. "There's a reason that magicians have Lovely Assistants. They're more… distracting." He said.
Leo's face fell into a scowl as Raph and Don started to snicker.
"Mikey….!"
"EEEP!"
Leo smirked. "And that was a little trick I like to call 'The Vanishing Motormouth'."
Thank you for reading. Review if you like, or not. Either way, have a nice day! :)