Armin was up late reading when he heard the soft patter of bare feet outside his door. He'd heard it often the past few nights, at varying times but always constantly there. It wasn't strange for soldiers to be woken up at night with nightmares; however the footfall intrigued him every time it passed by his small quarters. It was lighter than average and had a slight drag every three steps or so, the foot at present skimming the ground a moment longer than each other. It was odd for the young blond to be bothered by anything when he was trapped in a book, but the footsteps always caught his attention. He lowered his book into his lap and lifted an ear to listen to the odd footing.
Tap, tap, tap, slide, tap, tap, tap…
Armin closed his icy, blue eyes, the lulling rhythm reminding him of how tired he was from today's training. One more chapter, he thought, propping his book up again. His concentration was shattered by another soft sound.
"Just shut up, and go to sleep," came the demanding whisper.
Armin snapped his book shut once more, the call striking him off guard with a small wave of anxious curiosity. They can't be talking to me, obviously, but who else is out there? He rose from his bed, the old floor creaking at the motion, and placed his book on the nightstand. His socked feet slid across the floor with ease as he approached the doorway. He took the knob in his hand before laying his ear against the door's rough surface. Nothing; the hallway was silent, the footsteps having stopped along with the murmuring. Armin silently cursed himself, fearing he had scared away his sleepless comrade. He turned the door knob in his hand carefully, leaving the door slightly ajar as he peered out into the cold corridor.
"Hello?" he called into the moonlit hall.
A small frame leaned against the wall outside his room, its head resting on the firm surface and staring down to the ground. The girl's blond hair bobbed as she whipped around to face the other.
"A-armin? I'm sorry I didn't wake you up, did I?" she cast her eyes to her feet as she spoke.
He shook his head, "Oh, Aria! Not at all, I was just reading. Is everything okay, though? I thought I heard you taking to someone…" Armin scanned the hall but there was no one else up.
The new scout's face flushed pink, "Oh that was just me! I was, um, talking to…myself."
Armin eyed her nervously. She was telling herself to shut up? The two had known each other for weeks now, and had become pretty good friends over their common love of books, but Armin has never seen her so worn—in fact, despite the devastation they faced every day, she always seemed cheery, ready with a joke for anyone feeling down. Her strength gave him determination. He had never thought that things might wear on her more than she showed.
"Are you okay?" he asked, finally connecting his blue eyes with her caramel ones.
She sighed, rubbing at the bags under her eyes. "Not really, I guess. I'm having trouble sleeping."
Armin nodded. So she's the one who's been walking around all night, he derived. "Nightmares?" he asked.
Aria's eyes flicked down to the ground once more. She bit her lip before hesitantly answering, "Yes."
It was quiet then for a minute, the only noise those of the night. It was starting to get cold outside, fall etching its way through the air. Armin examined the girl in front of his bedroom door. Her arms were crossed, trying to hug warmth into her bare arms. All she wore was a thin T-shirt and a pair of cloth pants—he imagined she must be freezing.
"Do you want to come in?" he gestured inward to his room before his tired brain could even register what he had said. Armin, you just invited a girl to come into your bedroom. Oh no, what have I done? Please don't take that the wrong way. His mind whirred in a furious panic; the emotions swirling in his gut made him want to cry. Oh god, don't hate me. He wouldn't be able to stand it if he lost her friendship. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment to regain control of himself. He looked at Aria when he opened them again. She stared at the ground in between their two sets of feet. She looked miserable—worn ragged, Armin guessed, both from lack of sleep and draining nightmares.
He was deep in a flurry of thought when she answered quietly, "Sure—do you mind?" She looked nervous, the expression matching his perfectly.
"Uhhh, no. That's fine! I wouldn't offer otherwise…" he swung his door open wide clumsily. His feet stumbled a bit as he entered the room. The blond walked in behind him. He hesitated only a moment before closing the door behind them. "So…do you want to talk about it? Your dream? Sometimes talking it out can make it seem a little less real."
She grimaced. "Not yet. I just needed some company is all…I don't want to mess with your routine, so you can go back to reading if you want. I just need to be with someone."
"Okay." Armin felt helpless, he didn't know what to say or do with this girl in his private quarters. He walked stiffly to his bed stand and picked up his book once more. Aria slowly took refuge in a hard wooden chair in the corner. He almost offered her to sit in his bed, but he was afraid that might be weird, so he let her be.
Armin buried his face in his book. It took him three tries before his concentration returned and he was able to read past the first sentence. He let himself be swallowed by the story, indulging in the solace it provided from the hellish time in which he lived. He felt relief well over him as the tension in the room was replaced by the thrilling tale of a boy's first love. He'd said one more chapter, but a couple wouldn't hurt would it? He needed the tranquility to calm him from the situation at hand. There's a girl in my room, his mind reminded him. He glanced up for a moment to see how she was doing.
Silent tears streaked the girl's face.
"Aria?" he asked closing his book and placing it in his lap. "What's wrong?"
"I'm weak." Tears bolted down her cheeks into her open palms, "aren't I?"
The words shocked him. "No you're not," the young soldier answered honestly. "You're one of the strongest people I know."
She scoffed—an odd sound, considering it was wrecked with strangled sobs. "Now I know you're lying. You're friends with some of the strongest people in the army." She tried to wipe her tears but more kept coming.
Armin stood and walked to where the girl sat. He grabbed one of her hands. It was cold to the touch. "Why do you think that?" he asked timidly.
She sniffled. "Everyone has been through so much…compared to them I'm nothing. How can I be nearly strong as them when I don't know what it's like to lose someone?"
The words sent a chill down the other's spine. She feels worthless because she doesn't have the guilt of death on her hands? "Death doesn't make you strong, Aria."
She squeezed the hand around her own. "I know," she said sharply. "But everyone here has seen so much…and they still push through. I-I feel like I can never live up to that. I don't think I'm strong enough to…go through what they have…" she choked slightly on her last words.
Armin was quiet. As he knelt next to his friend, he felt all the pain rush through him again. His mother, his father, his grandfather, his friends—he had lost them all. He could feel tears welling up again at the back of his eyes, he tried to choke back the pain but it was hard to control. "D-don't feel weak because you don't know how to face death," he managed.
Aria met his bleary eyes with her own. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…"
He ignored her apology and continued, "No one knows how. Not until it happens…and even then you're clueless. You just…have to push through." Armin clenched his jaw, fighting back a sob.
She wiped her tears with her free hand. "I'm sorry I brought this up. I didn't mean to make you upset."
He shook his head, "I'm glad you did. You can't just hold stuff like that in—that much turmoil is bound to make an ordinary man cave under the pressure. We…have to help each other through. Otherwise we'll never make it."
Their eyes met once again in the waning candlelight. Her eyes were so warm and beautiful in the fiery glow it cast; Armin felt his cheeks redden a bit. "Thank you, Armin," the voice was smooth and soft, with nearly no wavering even after tears.
"I hope that helped," he said, a little unsure.
"It did."
"Good."
A calming quiet settle through the night again. The blond boy could start to feel the lack of sleep getting to him. He yawned, raising his left hand to cover his mouth as he did. When he brought it back down, he looked to the hand in his right's possession. It was smaller than his own—a rare oddity considering he was one of the smallest in the army—and the skin over the lean muscle was taut and soft to the touch. On instinct, his thumb skimmed over its smooth surface. Armin blushed down at their conjoined hands.
"A-armin?" came the timid voice.
"Yeah?"
"Can I … stay here tonight?"
"What?" his cheeks bloomed a manic red. Did I hear that right? Surely my brain is just playing tricks on me…
Her blushing face read something different, however, "I-I know it's weird to ask, but…I think I might be able to sleep better if I stayed…here."
Armin's eyes were wide with surprise, but he was quick to recover, even if nervously, "Yeah. Y-you can stay."
Her smile made any pain go away, filling him with warmth from head to every last toe. "Thank you," she whispered.
Armin stood there numbly for a moment. She wants to stay the night. Where is she going to sleep? You idiot, in the bed of course…you'll have to share it. Oh no, I still have to change…how is that going to work? He chewed on his lip, mind again whirring furiously.
Aria read his mind, "Do you need to change out of your uniform? I won't look I swear." She slapped her hands over her eyes. "Go ahead."
He laughed nervously, watching to see if she was actually going to sit there like that as he changed. When she didn't move, he began to undress hastily. He undid buckle after buckle and button after button, and once he had finally set himself free, he slipped on an undershirt and a pair of sleeping pants. He smoothed down the clothes awkwardly and kicked his uniform into the corner. "I-I'm done," he wished he could control his shaking voice.
She let her hands fall into her lap, and stood from her chair. She took him in as she did so; Armin could feel her eyes scanning his short frame. He knew he should feel self-conscious about that, but for some reason it didn't matter to him—if she liked him, he was pretty sure it wasn't going to be for his body. Aria's face flushed when she realized he was watching. "You're sure you don't mind?" she asked again.
Armin smiled carefully, "No, it's fine."
She smiled in response, sending butterflies through his stomach. He walked over to his bed—the one he'd be sharing tonight—and climbed in under the covers. He then lifted the blanket again for Aria to climb in. She approached slowly, and taking the edge of the covering she said, "Thanks, Armin." She slipped under the sheet next to him. Her cool body soothed the heat from his blush.
They were stiff for a time before the two of them realized that if they were sharing a bed, they might as well get cozy. Aria sidled up next to Armin, laying her head against his shoulder and wrapping her arms around his arm. "You're warm," she said dreamily, already drifting off into a well needed sleep.
Armin rested his chin on her head and stroked her hair with his free hand. "Mhhhmmm…" he hummed in response. He hugged her close to his body, not wanting to ever let her go. Within the hour, he was sound asleep.
