Title: The Witness
Rating: PG-13 or R. Language.
Pairings: Roger/Mimi, one-sided Mark/Roger
Summary: One-shot from Mark's POV. Roger and Mimi are fighting as an angsty Mark, well, watches. Set somewhere between Without You and Goodbye Love.
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.
I sat on the couch, listening to the screams coming from Roger's room. He was fighting with Mimi again. It seemed as if that's all they did anymore. Roger would be playing his guitar, still trying to write a song, and Mimi would come over looking for attention. Roger, never one to turn down sex, dropped his Fender immediately and went in the bedroom. Mimi would follow, bitching about how she wanted to be appreciated for who she was, not just her vagina. The screaming would continue, "fuck yous" would be exchanged and Mimi would storm out and shoot up somewhere. I was tempted to film them fighting and play it back to them. Maybe then they would know what selfish, inconsiderate assholes they were.
This time it was different.
"God dammit, Mimi, what the fuck did you kick me for?" Roger followed Mimi out of the room, his hand over where Mimi had kicked him.
Ow, I thought, noticing the location of his hand and feeling his pain.
"I'm leaving," Mimi shouted.
"Yeah, because Benny appreciates you for more than just your vagina," Roger shot back.
"How can you say that?" Mimi was outraged.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" he was in her face now. "I know you shoot up still. Where else are you going to get the money? And I know he doesn't give away money."
Mimi didn't say anything. She knew Roger knew.
"One day I'm going to leave you, and Benny won't want you and you'll be all alone on your ass."
"Roger, don't—"
"Shut up, not like anyone would miss me."
Mimi was in tears. "Roger, I'm sorry, I—"
"You just don't get it," Roger cut her off again. "You'd think by now you'd know that I—I—"
"You what?"
"Just forget it. Get out."
"Then fuck you," and she left.
Roger slammed his fist against the wall. "Fuck," he muttered.
"I'd miss you," I said.
"What?" he looked at me.
"If you went away," I replied. "I'd miss you."
"No you wouldn't," Roger replied. "My life is shit. I'm dying. My girlfriend hates me. Angel is dying. Angel's the only thing holding us all together."
"Roger, it wouldn't be the end of the world if you got rid of Mimi. She's such a—"
He cut me off. "What do you know? You've never been in love."
"Yes I have." I couldn't believe I just said that.
He smirked. "With who?"
My mouth opened, but no sound came out. I couldn't say who I loved. Roger would get freaked out. Then he'd really leave. And I knew the one I love didn't love me back. After all, he just admitted to loving Mimi.
"That's what I thought," he went into his room.
I sighed. Mimi had what I wanted, and she didn't even deserve it.
--
I was right. This fight was different. Mimi hadn't gone to Benny's. She went to her loft and cried. And Roger cried too. He went down to apologize later. He brought her flowers, which was very unlike Roger. He was never this thoughtful. When I asked why, he said he would die without her. They didn't fight again until we lost Angel.
That's how I knew Roger really did love Mimi – not me. He was heartless. Fucking heartless. And what little love and affection he had was for Mimi. I guess I'm just jealous.
Roger was right – Angel was holding us all together. Ever since we lost him, we all lost each other. Collins was a mess. Maureen and Joanne were off and on. Roger and Mimi were fighting again. As soon as Angel's funeral was over, Roger was going to head out for Santa Fe. He was escaping his pain. I wasn't too sure why he was leaving, I was too busy begging him to stay to actually listen to what he had to say. Something about a restaurant. And he was gone. Mimi disappeared right after Roger did. No contact from either of them for months.
There was nothing I could do about it. That's what killed me. Roger was right. I created a world around me and watched – separate from everything that was going on. I was detached from life. I was just a witness.