Happiness
By Light Catastrophe
Rating: T
Pairing: RikuRoku (RikuxRoxas), implied AxelxSora
Warnings: yaoi, slash, angsty-ness, AU
Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own Kingdom Hearts.
Babblings: Here's another AkuRoku oneshot drabble, just because I'm bored. Basically, I got inspired by today's quote on my Zen calendar. I've never written this pairing, but I'm in an experimental mood. Enjoy.
Roxas' Point of View
x-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-x
Are you afraid of this happiness?
-The Buddha
In the lazy days of summer, when time trickles by so slowly you can almost reach out and touch it, I sit on the wall at the beach, gazing out at the sun glistening off the blue water, swinging my legs and trying not to think about things in my life that don't deserve to be dwelled upon. Occasionally, I'll bring a book, but most of the time, I simply listen to my Ipod and watch the people around me go on with their everyday lives. It's a funny thing, people-watching: I like to imagine how their days have progressed. Maybe they were born in a small town, grew bored, moved to the big city, got a job, settled down, and had kids. Most of the time, I don't think about that scenario, though. It's too boring; too cliché. So perhaps they are a struggling family; maybe they just saved up enough money to take their two children to the beach for a day.
Most days, he joins me. Neither of us says anything to the other. There's too much between us; too much we need to talk about. But we both have our pride, our stupid, stubborn pride, so it all remains unsaid. So the days pass slowly and the time widens the gap between us until it's so wide I feel like I will fall in if I make any sudden movements. He feels it, too.
He is the first to give up his pride. "Rox, we need to talk."
It's already late in the day; the sun is starting to disappear beyond the horizon. Usually, it's around this time when I head home to my empty house, to my empty bed, and try to forget my empty heart and my empty soul that was left behind. Today, though, I stay still, willing myself not to break down.
"Talk about what?" I ask, quietly, astonished at how quiet my voice seemed even to my own ears. I didn't talk much these days, not even to myself.
He didn't say anything for a long while after that, but he did move just the slightest bit closer to me, his presence surprisingly comforting to me after going so long without human contact. "You aren't human anymore," he said after a long while.
I turned to look at him, making eye contact for the first time in all these months of sharing this wall. "That's what happens when you get your heart broken."
"You deserve happiness."
I laughed, but it wasn't a sincere laugh. It felt painful in my chest. "I was happy."
"I know," he said, scooting even closer to me. "I was happy, too."
"And now they're happy together while we're still bitter about it months later." I closed my eyes, listening to the sound of his breathing and the crashing of the waves against the shore, and wondering why I could hear my heart pounding so loudly in my chest. "Does anyone even know what it means to have happiness?" I asked aloud.
"I don't know," he sighed, suddenly covering my hand with his own. I didn't so much as flinch away. "But we sure as hell try. And you know what? I think you're afraid to try."
I turned back to look at him, admiring the way his silver hair glinted in the oncoming moonlight. "Don't be absurd."
"Then let me kiss you."
I blinked, trying to figure out if he'd really just said what I thought he did. He continued to stare at me and I tried to remember the last time I'd been kissed; tried to remember what it felt like to run my hands through those vibrant red locks; but I couldn't. Those memories were nothing but a long lost dream, slipping through my fingers like sand.
Silent tears began dripping down my face. This is why I tried so hard not to think about him. Every time I did, I broke down. Still, many times I cried myself to sleep at night, unable to hold myself together remembering that we shared that bed for so long. Some nights, I had to sleep on the couch to keep the memories at bay. But even the couch held its memories.
Strong arms wrapped themselves around me as I cried. He held me tight for a long, long time until all my tears had run dry. Then he leaned down and he kissed me. But it was more than just a kiss: it was a promise – a promise that maybe, maybe I did have a chance at happiness once again.
x-x-x-x-X-x-x-x-x
Babblings: Wow, um, yeah. Please tell me what you think. In spite of the shortness of this drabble, I feel as though it's one of the best stories I've written in a long time.
Tell me what you think!