The Hogwarts Inspector
"So you must be Mr Dumbledore" said the Inspector sternly.
"That is correct" sighed Dumbledore.
Inspections were worse than Voldemort. The Inspector was older than Dumbledore himself. He was as wrinkled as a sheet and his beard trailed a mile behind him.
"Well Mr Dumbledore after accessing your school here is my report" the inspector said handing Dumbledore a piece of Parchment. "These are the views that depressed us about your school"
Hogwarts Inspection
Signed by,
Lord Voldemort
These are the views that we hate about your school:
You own a tree that smashes up decent cars
You have a crazed three-headed dog
Your staircases are a potential safety hazard.
Your Security is very low.
Your Janitor scares people.
It has been attacked by Voldemort on a very high scale.
There is a basilisk running loose in the school.
And potentially I just hate you… Dumbledore! I mean who calls their child DUMBledore. Tells people you're dumb doesn't it.
Dumbledore looked up from the parchment wearing a depressed look on his face.
"SO!" began the inspector. "What do you intend to do about it?"
Dumbledore lifted up his wand and yelled "AVADA KEDAVRA!" at the top of his voice.
There was a flash of green and the Inspector fell back, stone dead.
As Dumbledore walked out he met Mr Filch. "AH! Mr Filch!" he said. "There is a mess in my office you need to clean up"
As Dumbledore walked away, he didn't notice the basilisk eating Mr Filch and the Dementor selling prohibited enchantments to first years.
"This school is just perfect" sighed Dumbledore.