My Little Pony: Fictional Insanity
I'm sure you've noticed I'm very different from everypony here, prolly because I'm not a pony. I'm sure I don't resemble any creature you've ever seen, because as far as anypony knows I'm the only human in Equestria, my life is insane; I often find myself asking, "Am I alive? Am I insane, living in my own little schizophrenic world? Is this actually real?" I guess I'll have to explain so you understand why. I've somehow been living in the, what I was once certain, fictional world of Equestria, that's not the only thing though, tell you what grab a seat, let me tell you the story of how I got here today.
It happened on a Wednesday a day just like any other, I was working on a story, ok I was trying unsuccessfully to work on a story where Commander Shepard somehow ends up in Equestria after destroying the reapers, but I had hit a writers block, granted it felt more like a mine field, either way unimportant really. I was trying to burn time while I was waiting on a call from work to go pick up, and make a delivery. After hours of being unable to find my muse, I finally get the call, I was making a delivery to a chemical plant in Louisiana, simple, pick up the large tool box, and drop it off to the contractor at the gate. I'll spare going into detail about the drive, it was long and boring. I arrived at the gate off loaded the box, and got my paperwork in order before leaving. It was only a couple of seconds after getting onto the road that everything went white, I slammed my eyes shut, and hit the brakes, then everything was gone, and that's the last thing I remember before I was taken by unconsciousness.
I woke up feeling like I had been trampled, I didn't open my eyes on account of the agony coursing through my head. I reached for my seatbelt latch, gone, I reached for the steering wheel, gone, finally I reached for the door when I realized I was laying on my back, as the mind numbing pain slowly faded to a dull throb. I heard murmurs around me, I slowly opened my eyes to see I was surrounded by horses, and then I noticed these weren't horses they were too small, and brightly colored, "what someone trying to make their own little Equestria" I thought to myself, and found it kind of funny.
One of the ponies stepped closer, and I noticed it appeared to have been modeled after Rainbow Dash, and I couldn't find a single thing off, whoever did this did an amazing job. The pony that looked like Rainbow Dash looked at me, and asked "Uh, you okay?" I stared straight at Rainbow Dash flabbergasted, my mouth was moving, but I wasn't saying anything, what I eventually managed to say was "Did you just ask me if I was okay?" I'll admit it I was scared, scared I was losing my mind, reality was slowly slipping through my fingers. "Yea I did" she replied looking at me funny, "You're Rainbow Dash?" I winced out; I was scared of the answer, and what it could mean. Shock was written across her face "How do you know my name?! What are you?!" she demanded her face almost pressed against mine. The psychological distress was too much for me handle, I was surrounded by talking ponies from a T.V. show, I promptly blacked out.
I woke up feeling better, thinking that everything that happened was just a crazy dream; I soon realized how wrong I was when I heard familiar voices, one was almost a whisper, but I would recognize that voice anywhere, "Twilight, I think it's waking up." Twilight responded "oh" then I heard the sound of quite a few sets of hooves walking closer, then I heard Rainbow Dash "Hey, we know you're awake so stop pretending, we've got questions for you, and you're not going anywhere till you answer them." Twilight stepped forward " Rainbow! Let me handle this, before you make him pass out again." I looked at Twilight thankful the most reasonable pony was taking the lead; I might actually be able to save this train wreck and maybe figure out how I got here, and maybe find a way home.
She studied me a moment noticing me relax a little, "As Rainbow Dash said we need you to answer some questions, first what are you?" she asked. I looked at her a moment before replying, "I'm a human." She looked at me quizzically "And what is a human exactly?" she asked. "Humans are an evolved relative to chimpanzees or in simpler words primates" she looked at me funny, "So you're related to monkeys?" I looked at her not appreciating the comparison to the poop slinging primates feeling a bit offended, "Sure, I guess that's close enough for horse shoes, and hand grenades." I said. "What does that mean?" she asked, "It means it's not exactly right but its close enough to get the job done." I snipped at her "Oh, okay." She halfheartedly replied. She was looking dejected, and I kind of felt bad for rubbing my bad mood off on her, I looked at her "I'm sorry I'm being so negative, go ahead ask any question you want Twilight." she seemed to perk up at my apology till I said her name, then she stared at me confused, silence filled her library, "How do you know my name, and Rainbow Dash's?" she looked scared, and confused, a creature she never thought existed knows her name, and her friends, I don't blame her. I looked in her eyes, "Do you want the truth you won't want to believe, or the lie you wish was true." I looked around at all of them, my eyes rested on Apple Jack, "I'm asking all of you, not just Twilight, I know all of your names." Apple Jack looked at me "What do ya mean, the truth we won't want to believe, or the lie we wish was true?" she asked I continued looking at her, "There's a saying where I come from, that is literal in this situation, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction, especially for yall should you ask for the honest answer." I replied seriously. Twilight looked at her friends then looked at me, and back at them she took a deep breath to steady herself, then she looked at me, "Wait here while we talk about this okay?" "Sure," I replied