Title: The Guide to Pranking (By Lily and Petunia Dursley)
By: Nesma
Disclaimer: Do not own any of the characters. Except for Buck. He's like my dream pet.
A/N: Hope you enjoy!
Petunia Dursley's habit of searching for people's secrets merely stems from the fact that she has quite a few of her own. Her insecurity about the few that haunted her made her paranoid and itching to know everyone's while being privy to her own.
She never shared to Vernon why she told him how much she despised owls the day Harry came through the front door with a snowy white owl.
Vernon whole heartily believed, as he told her multiple times, that her hatred of such an owl must be to how odd it was to have a pet owl. How annoying the bird was with the squawking of displeasure, the ruffling of feathers, and the cooing as Harry took care of it. How pestering it was that the bird rattled in the metal cage late at night, allowing the entire house to hear echoing of metal and talons. How absolutely unhealthy it was to have a bird in the home (should it be vaccinated?).
Petunia simply nodded her head and told him, 'Quite right!' before focusing on another task. Her desire for a change of topic the first time and every other time afterwards came right away. Thank goodness or otherwise she would have had to tell Vernon about the time that James Potter's owl destroyed her bedroom.
Of course, that was a secret that stayed with her and the dead.