Delta Quadrant Fever: The Rocks in Equinox's Socks!

by Wexamillion Major

In this installment of Delta Quadrant Fever, Capt. Wex Major and his gallant crew of USS Voyager encounter more than what they bargained for when they find a ship of their own, the Equinox!

Delta Quadrant Fever – Starship Equinox has got rocks in its socks!

Chapter One: The Insanity of Rudy Ransom!

This is Stardate 19972.12, and smack dab in the middle of nowhere, a Nova-class starship, Equinox, floats adrift after "thousands" of attacks of them "Krowtonan bastards", as Rudy "coined" them. They been out here since Stardate 19946.14, when Caretaker "accidentally took them" to the Delta Quadrant. This is what's going on right now folks, Rudy's trying to fix the Warp Drive:

Capt. Rudolph Ransom: "Damnit, I can't get this fucking Warp Drive to work!"

Maxwell Burke: "Yeah, well, what the hell do you expect, Rudy? First you take our crew hostage to "ensure" our safety from them damn Krowtonans, then on Stardate 19964.12, you burn out our Warp Drive System, thus leaving our ship all banged-up, then you eat all of our Canned-Food Rations, then you get hooked on 13 milligrams of Cordazine, 24 grams of Vikoden, 15 pounds of Crack, then you gotten "Zima-drunk", and now this, what the fuck are we going to do with you, "Insane Rudy"?"

Marla Gilmore: "OK, guys, what in Sam's hell is going on around here?"

Burke: "Oh, let me see, uh, the usual. Rudy trying to fix the all-banged-up Warp Drive."

Gilmore: "Yeah, I know how that fucking goes."

Thompson: "Marla and Max?"

Both Gilmore and Burke: "What is it?"

Thompson: "A Federation starship has got our Distress Call."

Gilmore: "HELL YEAH, were finally saved."

Burke: "About damn time!"