Disclaimer: The NARUTO universe is Masashi Kishimoto's.
The following was inspired by one of my favorite manga author, Tooko Miyagi, and her story "Offering" from the compilation, Tale of a White Night. However, that's as far as the inspiration goes since it takes a different path.
Offering
(On Another's Sorrow, Songs of Innocence)
Can I see another's woe,
And not be in sorrow too?
Can I see another's grief,
And not seek for kind relief?
- William Blake -
I quit the university in June, and because I had nothing better to do, I came to my cousin's house in the country side. He was a writer and needed the nature's quietness to focus on his latest novel.
My parents went ballistic when I said I would come here. Really, I had expected them to be more concerned about me dropping out of school, than moving to the country side to figure out what to do with my life, that I didn't understand.
Yeah, you read that right. Father was extremely disappointed of course, I was dropping off out of nowhere after all; Mother, I never could quite understand her. She kept quiet at the time, but as nothing would make me budge, she came to terms with it.
In retrospect, I think it had to do with the fact I was like 3 years ahead of any other regular educational program, so taking some time out didn't seem to matter much.
That was just before I told them Shisui had accepted to host me at his place. Hell went lose then.
Mother resorted to begging for me to stay, father urged me to reconsider, said they would give me time and space, even hinting getting me a place to stay in the city, whilst I figured things out.
Honestly, father surprised me the most, he became adamant I went to work with him, to learn the ropes of the family business. Needless to say, I was not one bit interested and let them know, straight off.
Obviously, I could tell they were pretty stressed over my decision, and it kept me wondering if that was some kind line I was not supposed to cross but wasn't made aware of?
In the end, they agreed to let me off the hook for the summer, figures they didn't want to lose their only son over some petty matter after all. It was a petty matter to me at the time.
If I had known this was all I had to do for them to show actual parental caring outside of the regular bragging. Oh well...
My cousin Shisui was living in a small mountain village, quiet and peaceful, away from the busy Tokyo life. People knew each other pretty well too, and other than the occasional tourist, there wasn't much of an occurrence worth mentioning.
All in all, I felt like coming here was the best decision I had ever taken, Shisui had always been easy going and we got along pretty well. Over the years, he had sort of taken me under his wing, I also learned a lot from him, mainly literature, folklore and more about horror stories that I actually cared to tell in public.
That knowledge was soon put to good use, when Shisui figured I had a knack for proofreading and tell which of his creepy plots would make it on top of his latest novel on the market.
That was one of the reasons why I decided to come here, my cousin appreciated my skill but cared for me as an individual. In a way, he gave me a purpose.
Summer was at its peak now, I had been here for a few weeks now and my birthday was coming next. Just a couple of weeks more, and I would turn sixteen.
"Sasuke, don't go too far into the mountain, and make sure you're back before dinner." His words dignified by a small waving of his hand as I made my way out.
"Sure thing Shisui. Don't worry, I'll be careful. " I assured him, closing the door behind me and starting my walk towards the mountain looming over the village.
Every day, I wandered around the mountain, waiting for nightfall. Like I said, there wasn't much to do in the village, and Shisui was still in the process of writing down the first draft of his new novel. That equaled to say, I had nothing useful to keep myself busy with.
That changed the night I caught a light coming from around the top of the mountain, it happened a week or so ago. It intrigued me, you could even say it called me, and I just couldn't get it out of my mind for that matter.
For the next couple of days afterward, I tried to pin-point the exact location it had come from. It was easy to become absorbed by something as trivial as it seemed, when like I said, you had nothing to occupy yourself with. Obviously, it didn't help that I had a pretty obsessive nature to begin with.
And so, I kept leisurely, but all the same methodically, strolling the mountain until that one day, as I was nearing the top, everything went quiet. All of a sudden, there was no more rustling of leaves, no cicada buzzing, just plain blank silence. Next thing I knew, I felt someone watching me.
And then, as I looked up ahead, I saw him.
Stunning, as only a vision could, he stood there in the middle of the woods, opposite me from a distance.
I stared. I just couldn't help it. Like a spell had been cast upon me, I was entranced, my eyes unwavering, engraving every single detail about him.
I dare say, I forgot how to blink until my eyes stung from the strain, and when I opened them once again he was gone already.
"A blind boy, alone in the mountain, you say?" Shisui asked again, after I nodded the first time. I had came back home in time for dinner and shared my encounter with him.
The question left his mouth laced with nervousness, although I couldn't figure out why.
"Yeah, you said I was the only young person around here. He was wearing an all black kimono with a red sash, and he looked about my age." I replied earnestly, waiting for a hint on his part that would tell me what he was nervous about.
"That's weird Sasuke, I've never seen anyone like that around here. How did you know he was blind?" Shisui scratched his head while he tried his best to appear nonchalant. Did I ever tell you my cousin sucked at lying? Because now, I was sure he did so, blatantly.
"Well, he had his eyes bandaged, although I could feel he was looking right at me..." there was no need to hold up the truth on my side, he was the one hiding something.
"Are you sure it was not a trick of your mind, I mean, a blind teen all alone in the middle of the mountain? You've read one too many of my novels or the heat got to you, surely."
"Well, when you say it that way..." he seemed appeased by my reply, it left me no doubt that what I saw in the woods was no figment of my imagination.
"Although, now that I think about it, there's a legend..." he started then, his goofy self trying to hook me up in one of his novels plots.
"Oi, Shisui don't start with your stories, it's getting old and I'm a scary kid no more." that cut short his attempt to get a laugh at me.
"Sasu-chan you're so mean, always ruining my fun." he laughed anyway.
That night I caught sight of the same light near the top of the mountain, it didn't simply flicker as in the first occasion, it sort of glowed steadily as if it was an personal invitation, until at some point it dimmed off, and died out.
Needless to say, I couldn't sleep that night, the recurring thought of that boy up the mountain kept me wide awake once again. He felt familiar in a way, although I couldn't tell how.
For the first time since I was a child, I felt as if something had captured my attention, and that feeling alone made me restless.
"Hey Shisui, are you sure nobody lives up in the mountain?" I asked the following day, I saw him tense, although he must have been pretty sure I hadn't noticed.
"Yup. Well, if I remember correctly, there used to be a shrine around the top, our family owned and took care of it like centuries ago, but it's been abandoned now. Why?" Now that was news to me, jumping on the opportunity to get more information.
"Uhm, I haven't come across any shrine yet, are you sure there's no one else in charge anymore? I would like to visit it."
"Aww, Sasu-chan, are you sure? Rumor has it, it had magical properties. According to legend, its guardian spirit would grant you a wish if you gave away the most precious thing you had in exchange."
"You do realize that tale doesn't even make sense, don't you? How can you ask for something, anything actually, if you have to give away something equally, or even more, precious in return? That's totally anticlimactic." I retorted whilst mimicking a crashing motion with my hands.
"I don't know Sasuke, sometimes human beings just don't know what they have until they lose it, or they do know but something else ends up mattering most." Shisui had a knack for playing with words, grant it, but I couldn't help and wonder what that stare off look on his face meant.
Even if I was considered a genius, the 'Uchiha prodigy' some have even dubbed me, I couldn't come with a reply to that. You see, I never had to come across that kind of assessment before, so it was difficult to phantom someone giving up something really precious to them to get something else in return.
Did people even know what would exact the value of whatever they asked for? Could they even consider giving it away, if they valued it so much in the first place?
Really now, what if the thing you got in return did not meet your expectations, wouldn't that be a real bummer? Plus, if you could give it away just like that, wouldn't that defy the whole idea to start with? Your most precious thing, is not supposed to be cast away on a whim, does it?
It just did not make sense, just like I had made known to my cousin.
Or maybe it was just the way Gods and demons alike liked to fool around with mortal lives, who knows?
"Whatever Shisui, that's just one big fat lie. I hope you never put that in your books, sales would go bad for sure." I countered just for the heck of it.
"Right Sasu-chan, that's why you're my favorite proofreader. Anyway, don't go too deeply into the mountain, night would certainly caught up on you and it's a dangerous path to walk in the dark."
"Yeah, yeah, don't go all worrywart on me, it will make you grow wrinkles and your crazy horny fans would hate that too." he chuckled at that, leaving me to mull over aimlessly.
In the mountain, I could relax, I didn't need to think about anything, be it grades, acting proper, trying to fit in my class.
Here, I didn't have to meet anyone's expectations, didn't have to fake not getting hurt by jealous and envious people, didn't have to pull up a brave face saying I didn't need anyone; even though I felt alone, all the time, even if in the midst of a room packed with dozens of family members, or fellow classmates.
Here, none of that held importance.
I didn't have to feel an unknown craving all the time, the very same that made my heart squeeze painfully at the most random times of the day, or night for that matter.
That's how I felt here. Free.
Until, I came across that boy once again. It happened so unexpectedly, I was hiking up the mountain, higher that before which explains why I wasn't all too familiar with the terrain; and then, I felt the earth give away beneath my feet.
The fall was hard, the pain too. My body ached all over, as I lied on my back on the new found earth, although luckily no broken bones or major injuries other than some scrapes and bruises were visible.
"Crap, I thought I would break my neck and die for sure..." I muttered painfully as I glanced at the spot I had came down from. That when I realized I wasn't too far off the mountain top.
"What should I do now? Climb back up or just go down the mountain?" The sky was darkening, the Sun slowly but surely enough dying beyond the mountain. Shisui's words came back at the front of my mind and a faint shiver ran up my spine.
"Whatever, it's just an old story nobody cares about. I would like to see that spirit though." I caught myself picturing how it would look like.
Just as I was thinking about that, I heard a 'crack' noise just a feet away from my current position, it took me by surprise and I turned around sharply, swiftly getting on my feet.
"Argh!..." I wailed falling back on the floor. My ankle hurt like the devil.
"Are you all right?" came the voice of the intruder who managed to scare me a few second ago.
It was the blind teen I had seen the other day. He was wearing the same attire too, and I couldn't help keep staring at him, he was beautiful, even more than I originally thought so, now that I could see him closer.
"Ah, it's you..." escaped my lips in almost silent admiration.
"I'm sorry I heard a loud noise just now and I came to check up. Are you hurting somewhere?" he asked visibly concerned.
"Yeah, it's my ankle, see?" I pointed said joint. He smiled a half smile at that, and I realized too late my mistake. Bandages still covered his eyes.
"S-sorry, I mean...I think my ankle got sprained." a blush instantly spread on my cheeks.
"If that's the case, I can help you up to my place and treat it there. Is that okay?" he offered not looking in the least upset.
"O-okay, uhm...sorry to ask though, but are you sure it's alright? I mean...it would be a burden given..." Words seemed to stuck on my throat today, was it safe to assume I had hit my head and had failed to notice so earlier?
"Oh, you mean with my blindness? Don't worry, I know the path like the back of my hand. We will be there at once." he offered a hand then, which I grabbed onto not without a fair share of doubt.
Up in the sky, night was closing in.
What I thought would feel awkward, did not. That guy, who looked just my age, helped me get up and then trough the woods, until we reached an old wooden yet exquisite looking building.
It was the shrine Shisui spoke me off. It had to be.
"Now that we're here, allow me, I need to assess the damage on your ankle." he had taken it upon himself to help me all the way up the run-down building that, from the looks, used to be a beautiful shrine, until he set me up on a futon facing the forest.
After a few gentle touches and a hiss coming out of my lips, he put my feet back on a pillow and stood up.
"I think it's just sprained, wait here please Sasuke, I will go get some bandages and ointment." getting up and silently patting his way out of my sight.
"Yeah, thanks..."
His voice, just as his touch was full of caring, it was strange. That's when I realized I hadn't gotten his name, and worst, I hadn't even given him mine.
How on earth did he know it?
When he came back a moment later, feet unwavering on the old wood, I was a little dazed by his ability to mobilize and make it look like a petty feat to achieve.
Somewhat it made me feel ashamed too. Here I was, in full capacity of my own body, perfect eyesight and body fit enough for trekking all around the mountain; still, I managed to fell off out of nowhere.
Without words being exchanged, he came down next to me and carefully cradled my ankle on his lap, applying some ointment on it and then bandaging it up.
"Here, it will warm up then cool down again. Thankfully you didn't break a bone, so you will be back on your feet in no time." his fingers working with practiced expertise until the bandage was done.
"Thanks again. I was lucky you were close by. Is this by any chance the old Uchiha shrine?"
"Actually it is. How did you know?"
"Well, I've been staying at my cousin's house, he told me about it the other day. He also told me it had been abandoned by our family decades ago..." I paused then and decided on another conversation topic "May I ask you something?"
"Of course, although I guess you're wondering what I'm doing here."
"Well, yes. Don't think bad of it, I don't care if it's a shrine my family used to own or anything, it's just I'm..."
"...Curious on how I got here, being blind and alone in the mountain. Don't worry Sasuke, I'm sure you have plenty of questions. Alas, it's already late, and you should rest now, your eyes will thank you, trust me."
Without waiting for my reply, he left, leaving behind a small candle. Outside the Moon cast its silver light over the forest, everything was peaceful here. Without a single worry in my heart, I fell fast asleep, the cicadas buzzing lulling me in a dreamless sleep.
For some reason or another, it never occurred to me I had yet to get his name.
The following day, I awoke to find out I was alone at the shrine. The pain in my ankle had visibly subdued although I did not dare try force my full weight on it.
My body still ached, mostly due to the fact I had slept on an unfamiliar bed. As I got up and thought on finding him to give my thanks, a folded piece of paper next to a warm cup full of tea caught my attention.
'I left a cup of tea with some herbs that will help the ache subdue further.
I'm sorry I couldn't stay to help you down the mountain, but I trust your ankle will feel much better now, although better not force it more than you should.
Take care, Sasuke.'
After reading the neatly written note, all thoughts of finding the shrine spirit Shisui had told me about vanished from my mind, leaving just one. I had gone missing since the day before!
My cousin would certainly kill me now. Luckily enough, I did find my way home without any accident, my ankle did not even bother me as I practically ran down hill.
A few more days had passed since the incident, Shisui had effectively scolded me like a little child, going as far as to threaten to send me back to my parents. It took a decent amount of apologies and some proofreading bribery, but he finally settled to punish me for a week instead, right up to my birthday.
Days have come and gone since then, uneventful, his research material and other random stuff related to his latest novel did little to pick up my interest any more, I just kept staring up the mountain, night and day alike, hoping the boy I still did not know the name of, would pop up out of nowhere and take me out of Shisui's house.
It would have kept up that way unless one evening Shisui got a phone call from Tokyo, it was his publisher. They talked about his deadline being cut down by his manager, Shisui had not agreed to it, heck, he didn't even know a change had been discussed at all, and he was by no means happy.
The conversation dragged on, until Shisui had enough and decided it needed to be talked over in person, plus he wanted to beat up his manager too.
He left early in the morning, I was still asleep then after yet another restless night. Long gone was the peace and calm I had come to appreciate here.
Eventually even the lethargic being I had become in just a few days got up, on the small kitchen table a note from Shisui said he would be back in a day, two at most.
My birthday was just a couple of days away now.
Suddenly, it downed on me. Shisui was not here, he couldn't make me abide to my grounding all the way from Tokyo. This was my opportunity to sneak out and go up the mountain to find 'him'.
Somewhat dreading Shisui would be back that very same day, I decided to hike up the mountain determined to find the nameless raven boy from the shrine.
I did so rather quickly now that I had knew the path. When I got there he was right by the entry, as if expecting me, and I realized that he probably was, when he smiled as soon as I saw him.
It was strange, the fact that he was knew I was there, long before I even said a word or otherwise made myself known. Yet, I couldn't help feeling warm at the time. He had been awaiting my return.
After I had properly apologized for my prolonged and sudden absence, I gave him my long due thanks for his help the day of my fall, and we moved inside the shrine.
"Sasuke, if I may ask, what were you doing in the woods the other day?" he asked as he put a cup of recently made tea beside me.
"Well, the other night I saw the flicker of a light up the mountain and since my cousin told me about the shrine I got curious." There was no need to mention I had seen him before, much less he was the actual reason I wanted to get back here so badly.
"I see, your eyesight must be really good then. Did you know? Uchihas were famous around here, specially for their eyes... It was their gift as much as it was a curse I think." he commented rather randomly.
"How come? "
"Have you not heard the legends? They say their eyes were the most valuable possession they had. Some individuals of the purest Uchiha line could see what simple men couldn't, unnatural things. It gave them the skill required to see the mythical mountain spirit."
"It's like something Shisui would write about in one of his novels..." I muttered quietly to myself.
"You sound very close to your cousin. Are you an only child, Sasuke?" Somewhat I wondered if I imagined the slight annoyance in his tone when he asked about Shisui, although it did little to stop me from answering.
"Ah, yes. He's like the older brother I would have wished for, given the chance."
"Oh, I see. That must be nice...a bond like that I mean."
"Yes, he used to take care of me when I was a child since my parents didn't have much time. That was until his writing debut of course, then he started switching between here and the city, sometimes for months at a time. Publishing pressure and all that stuff, y'know."
"What about you? Are you an only child as well?"
"Actually, no. Alas, I haven't been with my little brother for many years."
"What? Why? Don't you miss him..."
"Yes, of course I do. I love him very much. So much actually, that I watched over him in every way possible since he was of fragile health as a baby. He is, up to this day, the very light of my eyes."
"Then what are you doing here? He must miss you terribly!"
"No, he doesn't. You see, since he had such a fragile health, he did not meet our parents expectations and was pretty much cast aside. Whilst his future was uncertain at most, I, in turn, was the pride of our parents. That's why, I made it my duty to make him grow into a healthy and strong infant without making my presence known to him. He had to fend for himself if he wanted to live, or at least that's what I thought."
"I still don't understand...how could you possibly achieve that? He should have re-"
"Realized it was me? No, of course not, he couldn't. He's never seen me, because although I did everything I could, there was something I could never fix, his eyes. "
Silence seemed to stretch for a moment, invisible pain hanging in the air, was it regret I felt in his voice just now?
"Even so...such love. Why didn't you stay?"
"Like I said, despite all my effort his blindness remained. And I grew obsessed with having him see the light, the colors, the beauty of life and death, everything, I loved him more than anything else...I was still a young boy then when I recalled this shrine being mentioned at some family gathering, legend said a mythical spirit would grant any wish in ancient times. I just had to try it."
"You don't mean...it actually work-"
"Yes Sasuke, I do. Eyes are the gates of our souls after all, but that was of little importance to me. He was my everything. However, it didn't make sense to stay when I couldn't see him anymore...He stopped needing me afterwards."
The meaning of the boy's words was not lost to me. Realization hit me then. This boy, this caring and loving older brother, had given out his eyes to fix his youngest kin.
"Hang on, how come I never heard any of this before? Who are you?" As surreal as his story was, scary even if one stopped to actually ponder about it, I did not dare question his words. Again, the so-called mythical spirit was at the center of it all.
"You must go now, Sasuke. Shisui will be back soon, and you mustn't make him worry. He cares about you deeply. He's lucky you do too."
Again, I was left without a name to attach to his persona. My only clue was that he was somehow granted an extraordinaire wish.
His tale would make sense, only later on. It was easy to figure out when you reflected upon his traits. He had shoulder length black hair, his face's features similar to members of my family.
As a matter of fact he recalled me of our grandfather, Madara. All in all, despite not seeing his eyes, I could perfectly match a pair of deep onyx tinged by red spotting to his face.
That, and the irrefutable fact the unknown spirit residing in this mountain had granted him his wish, as he himself affirmed, made a shudder went up my spine at the thought.
Yet, once again I had no time to dwell on it. The path down the mountain was long and tricky, furthermore so if you had to take it in a hurry.
Amazingly enough, he was right too. I made it back home not half an hour before Shisui arrived. He was in a sour mood, his trip to Tokyo did not go as well as he had expected. Apparently, once given a deadline, best-seller author or not, it was of no consequences to the publishing industry and you just had to abide to it. This however did not mean Shisui hadn't pulled out the infamous Uchiha rampage-fit, but he had only managed pushing the deadline further down by a few days.
After getting a brief explanation regarding the new deadline set up, this time in agreement with his editor, he went straight back into his private studio to work.
My birthday was the next day, yet for the first time in a long time Shishui would not have time to spare along on my day. He was very sorry for that, already promising to make it up for me as soon as he completed his draft, in a few more days.
It pained him, that much was obvious, and I made sure to make him focus on his work instead of worrying himself over something as 'trivial' as my birthday. He receded then, not before reminding me he would make it better.
I bottled my feelings the best I could, giving him an understanding smile. I couldn't tell him it hurt to spend it alone, it would make it too real. I would ache so bad this time.
How little comforting that was, I realized something else too. I was important to him of course, but I wasn't his most precious person anymore. And then, I caught myself wondering if I ever was Shisui's precious person to begin with.
Don't misunderstand, I did not held it against him, Shisui had done lots for me and I cared deeply for him. Still, it was nothing like the feelings, the boy I met spoke of.
That raven lad up the mountain had told me his younger brother was his everything, and he had said so in such a truthful easy, yet painfully sad tone. It was almost unbearable to hear without wishing for someone to feel that way over you.
That thought brought in another, and I understood this was the kind of bond I ached so bad to live trough. I realized this guy, no older than myself, carried such disturbingly clear feelings for his little brother, that I would love to stay next to him if only to take off a small amount of the burden off his shoulders.
Without my knowledge, innocent curiosity had morphed into ravenous craving.
Inwardly, I smiled. Preoccupied as he was, Shisui had not mentioned even once my prohibition to stay away from the mountain, neither did he ask about the nameless boy. As for me, I decided it was best not to remind him of any of these.
I slept feeling a little warmer that night, something was blossoming in my insides.
Past midnight, outside in the garden which my shoji doors faced, a red light glowed softly, a raven haired boy could be seen standing beside it, he sported a faint yet gentle smile on his lips.
"Happy birthday, little brother."
Morning came, the Sun shined brightly, cicadas buzzing all around, typical summer day it seemed. I woke up feeling rested, an occurrence that hadn't happened for days now. All in all, I felt good.
"Finally, sixteen." I said to no one in particular, there was no need to celebrate as Shisui had most likely spent the entire night working on his book. The thought, as sad as it was, did not make my mood falter, I had someone else in mind with whom I could spend the day. Perhaps even the night.
A devious smile tugged at the corner of my mouth, Shisui would surely fly off the handle now, carrying out his threat and rescind his invitation to host me, if I ever dared doing so again. That wouldn't do, at all.
Since it was still pretty early, I decided to have breakfast and fix something for Shisui. I left a plate with the breakfast contents on a small table on the hallway, next to his study door, and a note telling him I would be outside until later so he wouldn't worry, or worst, seek me out.
I was on my way out when the phone ringed making me stop. It rang again and I decided to answer it before it disturbed my cousin's work.
To be honest, I still wonder if it had been a good idea to attend that phone call from my parents. Their objective was obviously to wish me a happy birthday and all that stuff, it went well for a moment until mother asked me how I was faring, away from home.
I must have replied something that ticked her off though, because next thing I knew father was on the phone, sputtering nonsense about Shisui not being the responsible guy he should be given the circumstances. What circumstances? I had no clue whatsoever. Anyway, the whole thing seemed to take a turn for the worst when I felt a hand overlapping mine and taking the phone away.
I had barely registered Shisui had stormed out his study when I glanced at him, talking rapidly, and constantly saying they had to calm down, that nothing had happened, that I was all right in all sense of the word. He actually said it that way, y'know?
I got the feeling Shisui didn't want me to hear all that, it had been a while since I last saw him acting like I almost died or something around the lines. Well actually, I had never seen him like that, period.
The suddenness of the situation brought back a similar one, back in Tokyo, my parents had already acted that way, right when I told them I would move here. The dots seemed to connect, and it all got back to my presence and this place...
Could it be related to the shrine up the mountain after all? Did that blind raven boy had anything to do with it?
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
- Lao Tzu -
To be continued...