Chapter 1:
What if someone you loved just disappeared forever how you would feel where you would go would you still be the same person or would you try to disappear yourself.
This morning I woke up to my wife gone I didn't know where she was I was concerned for her as we have 2 small children. Meredith hasn't been the same person since her sister Lexie died, Mark died, and Christina moved away. I miss the Meredith I fell in love with, The Meredith I cheated on Addison with, the girl in the bar. Now that our lives have been complicated with me returning back to Seattle, quitting my job in Dc, almost lost my life to doctors that didn't know what they were doing, and now Meredith being moody and distant. When Meredith is around lately I feel scared as it has been 2 months since my accident she won't even touch me the way she did before my car accident is it because I'm not the Derek she fell in love with, am I a sore loser without a father, no best friend to talk to, no person who understands me, is it because I became ugly and not handsome like I was before my accident.
"Daddy where is mommy she promised a princess tea party with me and Bail's what happen to that" asked my 5 year old daughter that I love to know end. "Mommy is at work I think honey but could I do your princess tea party with you" I asked. Zola has been understanding since I got in my car crash and almost died, I still can't work until my sister clears me as she had to do some surgery's on my brain, even thought I was asleep and couldn't function my words or anything I tried to write on the doctors hand like George did to Meredith before he died. My sister got called after Meredith signed the release forms for life support and tried to take me off it and when that happened the neurologist knew I was still alive. I'm happy my baby sister is a neurologist like me otherwise I would be dead in the ground and I wouldn't be able to see my beautiful children grow.
After lunch I decided to take Zola and Bailey to the hospital to see what surgery Meredith was doing. I am still afraid to drive since my accident as it totaled both Meredith and My car. If only I wasn't looking for my phone I wouldn't have been in that accident, Meredith wouldn't be moody and distant. As I went to see what Meredith was doing only to find out that she was sick in Arizona's office. I walked in with the children who were excited to see there mommy. "Derek what are you doing here go home I'll fill you in when I get home" explained Meredith. When Meredith snapped at me for being in the hospital I felt like my life was gone everything I did to try to please her only to be shot down while caring for her when she is sick. Now I felt like our marriage was over.
I decided to take the children to the park because I found it unfair for their mother to act that way around them especially if it's me she's acting towards. The park seemed nice but I reminded me of the times both Meredith and I took the children to the park to play. Everything I did reminded me of Meredith except It was the Meredith that I married and not this new Meredith. The last time Meredith was like this was when she was pregnant with Bailey because her hormones were all over the place. Meredith couldn't possibly be pregnant because we haven't had an intermit relationships since my accident.
At dinner time Meredith came home and gave me a hug. This was the first time in 2 months. I noticed she was happy and not moody as she was earlier. Was it because I made dinner, was it because I cleaned the house, was it because she found out some news. "Derek I have some news for you" explained Meredith. "Meredith if you want me to sign divorce papers and you want custody of Zola and Bailey I'm not going to sign it because I love our children to no end and I love you" I explained to Meredith. "Derek I'm not asking for a divorce because I love you very much and our children the reason why I've been so moody and distant is because I thought you need space to get back to the old you that and I have some really exciting news" explained Meredith. "Meredith what is the news will it affect our relationship" I asked. "No silly we are having another baby and I'm actually surprised because we haven't done anything since the day before you accident" explained Meredith. I was over joyed with the idea of another baby which actually explained all of Meredith's problems because she wasn't giving me space and why she was moody all the time. I'm actually excited for this baby I'm hoping it's going to be a girl. Even though I have a son that I can play baseball, football, soccer, go fishing with, and just spend some quality time together I wanted another daughter that I could dress up in pretty outfits, walk down the aisle when she gets married, being able to do father daughter things with Zola and another little girl which could possible make me he proudest father in the world.
I was actually happy for the way Meredith has been acting because I can benefit for her mood swings as it is something I wanted before I almost died. I wanted another baby to spoil. Having just Zola, and Bailey wasn't what I wanted. I actually want 5 children like Christina said I would. I don't think Meredith wants 5 children but she may surprise me.