RvB: ODST

Prologue:

It was just going to be another normal day at Outpost 17-B in Valhalla. At least it was until Sarge got "the call."

After only about an hour of un-sergeant-like giggling, Sarge rounded up the three members of Red Team, and also managed to rope in his traditional enemies from the other side of the canyon, the Blue Team.

"All right, men," he said, "I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here today."

There was bored silence from both teams. Sarge looked at them for a few moments and said, "I said, I suppose you're all wondering why-"

"Ugh, okay, fine, WHY did you call us here?" Church, the de facto leader of Blue Team, asked, already exasperated.

"Our Command has just contacted us and informed me that they've chosen the glorious Red Team for a brand-spanking-new, top-secret, near-suicide mission!" Sarge announced joyfully.

Grif, the lazy, orange-clad member of Red Team, sighed and said, "What a surprise..."

Simmons, the maroon-clad kissass of the team, replied, "Wow, that sounds great, Sarge! What's the mission?"

"Command wants us to go in as the first units of an assault on an old UNSC colony. It wasn't glassed during the war, and now a splinter group has arrived there, and-" Sarge started to explain.

"Wait, wait, wait, a what?" Tucker, the aqua-clad member of Blue Team, asked, already extremely confused.

"Splinters? Pain is not involved, right?" Caboose, the naive member of Blue Team asked, worried.

Sarge chuckled and said, "Nah, not real splinters! I mean a remainder of the Covenant! They've landed on the planet and taken control of it; Command thinks they're looking for something valuable, something top-secret, and they want us to lead the glorious charge against them!"

The whole group was silent. "Wait, aliens?" Tucker said. "I kinda like fighting you guys more; the only casualty we've had was caused by a guy on our own team."

"I really am the best soldier here," Caboose said ironically.

"Yeah, can't we just do what we usually do and ignore Command's orders?" Grif asked.

"You're the only one that does that!" Simmons whined.

"And I see no reason to change that strategy," Grif expertly retorted.

"Shut up, dirtbag," Sarge quickly said. "We're all going, and although I hate to say it, Command has asked me to...ugh, ask you dirty Blues to come along, too."

Tucker laughed dryly and said, "Fuck that! This mission actually sounds scary!"

"Yeah? Well, Command didn't say I couldn't force you to come along!" Sarge threatened, pumping his shotgun.

"Uh, yeah, I'd rather not stand here and keep talking to you people, so okay, we'll go," Church said.

"WHAT?" Tucker exclaimed.

"Good! Get your gear and report back here ASAP. I'll have Lopez here throw together some vehicles so we can travel to Command's ship. They'll take off and bring us to the colony."

"Sounds like fun," Church said unenthusiastically.

"Yay! We are going to have a sleepover!" Caboose exclaimed.

"Shut up, Caboose. You're staying here and working on Sheila. I can't believe I'm saying that, but I need Tucker 'cause he's got the kickass sword. That, and I'm pretty sure I don't want you around if we're already going to be on a near-suicide mission," Church replied.

Meanwhile, the last, pink-clad member of the Red Team, Private Franklin Donut, asked, "What about me, Sarge? Am I staying here?"

"No, Donut, Command was specific in saying they wanted all the Reds on this one," Sarge responded.

"That was an excellent decision, sir; we can definitely-" Simmons started.

"Oh, stop being a kissass, Simmons," Grif finished. "Ugh... let's just get this over with..."

Within a few minutes, the two teams (minus Caboose) were driving in a pair of Warthogs to Command's ship...