This is not a death story.

I do not own Starsky or Hutch but what fun we would have if I did. And, yes, I would share.

I would like to dedicate this to the two best beta readers a new writer could ask for…Helen and Strut. Thanks so much. Ya'll are great.

Any mistakes are mine and mine alone.

Any feedback will be much appreciated. This is a work in progress and changes might be made as more chapters are written. That is if the readers want more.

My Own Worst Enemy

Ollie Bear

Prologue

Hutch stared at his reflection in the window. Droplets formed from the cold, foggy night matching the tears streaming down his face. In the back ground he could hear the ticking of the clock…how many times had he and Starsky beat the odds and laughed in the face of time yet again? This time would be different. Time really had won. He had lost everything, everyone, the one person who mattered to him the most was gone. Hutch had made sure of that a mere 96 hours ago.

His gun lay on the on the table beckoning as did the cassette he could not bear to listen to again. He knew he was taking the cowards way out, he could no longer go on. He was doing what Starsky couldn't. In his mind he could see his partner picking up the gun, handing it to him, urging him to pull the trigger. In one swift motion, he picked up the gun, bringing it to his mouth. As he pulled the trigger, he was startled to hear a door being kicked open. An anguished scream "NOOOOOO" was lost among the sounds of gunfire and shattered glass.

Chapter 1

Monday

8:00 p.m.

Eight years past Sweet Revenge

January 1987

Starsky had just finished his third cup of coffee and a burger with onions when his partner walked into the squad room. Quickly he stuffed the note he was reading into his jacket pocket.

"Starsk, you know that stuff will keep you up all night."

"What difference is it to you? Did you ever stop to think that I don't want to sleep tonight!!?" Some demons are better faced wide- awake. "Are you coming? You promised me a ride home in that so- called car of yours."

Hutch shot Starsky a concerned, what- the- hell- is- wrong- with- you look, but all he got in return was a view of his partner walking away with his middle finger up in the air. If Starsky was trying to piss him off, he was doing one helluva good job.

Starsky stared out of the rain splattered window as Hutch's car eased out of the parking garage. "Damn Hutch, ain't the weather depressing enough without this music you've got playing. Why do you listen to stuff sung by a man who always dresses in black? Reminds me of Simon Marcus. Just plain sick."

Hutch reached over and turned off the radio. "Johnny Cash is nothing like Marcus. He wears black as a symbol…he wears it for the poor and beaten down, for the sick and lonely, for the thousands who have died, for…"

Starsky interrupted, "Yeah, yeah whatever." Pulling off his jacket he continued. " All I know it's given me a headache and all this damn rain is making my chest and back hurt."

Suddenly Hutch flashed back, remembering another day in the same parking garage when his best friend was almost taken from him. After that day, their relationship was mended and all past hurt was put far behind them. Is that what is wrong buddy, do you think you're not a good partner anymore? Working ten days straight is hard on even the best cop, and with what Starsky went through mentallyand physically… He shuddered at the memory and placed a shaky hand on Starsky's shoulder. "Hey, you okay buddy? You know you can always stay at my place for a couple of days. I'll even spring for the pizza and beer."

For a second Starsky seemed to soften up and Hutch thought he would finally tell him what was wrong, but just as suddenly, Starsky shot him a go- to- hell look and shouted, "NO, I'm not alright. Didn't you just hear me tell you I have a headache and my chest and back hurt? On top of that I'm dead tired from working 10 straight days, this rain is depressing and I have a partner who keeps asking me if I'm alright. DON'T YOUKNOW WHEN TO SHUT UP AND LEAVE SOMEONE ALONE?"The look on Hutch's face told Starsky he had hurt his friend deeply, and in a way that's what he wanted. He had to handle the three days ahead without any help from his best friend.

The two rode in tense silence the rest of the way to Starsky's house. As Starsky started to climb out, Hutch stopped him with a gentle touch to his arm. "Okay if I come in for awhile? Maybe catch a late movie?"

Starsky hesitated for a moment. It was obvious that Hutch did not realize the importance of today's date so he responded harshly. "When are you going to learn? When I tell you to leave me alone…LEAVE ME ALONE!!!I don't want your company tonight, tomorrow or the day after. I don't to want to even think about you until Friday."

Starsky jumped out of the car turned to go and then opened the door again. "And don't drive by or call. I do not want to see or hear from you. I don't need anyone, especially you checking up on me."

This time he turned and walked away, but not before seeing the hurt in the eyes of his best friend. A quote Starsky remembered reading in some magazine came to his mind "Sometimes, when we care for someone with all our heart, we're soafraid of hurting them that we push them away". As he thought of what was waiting for him in his apartment, Starsky prayed he really had pushed Hutch away…at least until Friday.

Hutch silently drove off in the night, once again listening to the man in black. "Flesh And Blood need Flesh And Blood And you're the one I need." Neither partner was aware of the small recorder placed under the front seat of Hutch's car and it would be Thursday before Hutch realized Starsky had left his jacket behind.