The other side of the bed was empty and felt cold. The moon shone brightly into the room and lit up the other half. You turn on the side, staring at the empty half of the bed. Normally, there is a warm and familiar body would lie, the next morning gave her a smile, would take you in his arms and would hold you. You would breakfast together, as you yourself. In his shirt and he loved it, he would not want to see another woman in his shirts He was your grip, gave you the strength and love. You long for his closeness, his affection and his scent. God, you love its scent, you'd recognize him again and his voice, which was like a melody in your head. His warm hands that were trembling at every touch you, gave you the feeling of goose bumps. His humor and his way he played with you, you laugh. You love people who brought you laugh. And his kisses, no one else would you rather kiss than him. You lose yourself in his gray, dreamy eyes and you began to miss that feeling of his skin on your. His beard tickled you and brought you to giggle and the never-ending nights and when he slept with him, you watch him. His snoring, what made you smile, his calm breathing and his heartbeat when you put your head on his chest and when the morning came, the sun shone in the bedroom, you feel more strong arms around your body that would hold you when he wants you never let go. But all that was not here. You want it so much, but the reality was different. Your hand slides slowly over the cold sheets and you feel every centimeter emptiness and loneliness. You hate yourself in this moment, you regret it. He would be here right beside you and you would slide into sleep, protect you from the fear of the night and loving you, but it was not and it will not be in the next minute.

She hated the first time her work, she had to do it. They had to take him apart, and she felt the receipt for it. It was painful. He confessed to her his feelings, his heart, but it was injured. Of course she had many other admirers, many idiots and bastards who would break her heart, but for the first time they really felt attracted. She did not give him up, she saw one more chance for both. Flirting, their first date, be surprising kiss, the night and all that followed it, the memories and images that discussions and reconciliations, everything passes through her brain and she felt a pain in her chest, right where her heart was. A sob left her lips where his lips were actually on their and they would kiss until she has to gasp for air. She loved his openness, his direct style and his charm. She loved him more than their political interests to discuss and mutual came up faster than she thought. His laughter, his head shaking, everything. She felt his hands all over her body, every centimeter he had touched. Every little detail she began to miss and if it is only to be eye contact, she misses it and it was unbearable from second to second. She needed his touch, his closeness, a sign of life would make them feel better.

Her hand gropes slowly after the phone on the bedside table. She took a breath, while looking for his number, she thought about the attempt by calling him. It might be silly and they never showed weakness, but she just wanted to hear his voice. When she dialed his number, hoping that not would pick up his mail box, her heart stopped for a few seconds. With each beep, they lose more and more hope.

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While Chicago was always quiet and the night more clearly, he left the hotel room with his bag in his hand. He ran into the elevator, leaning against the wall and enjoy the peace before he goes on the road and is again disturbed by car exhaust fumes and traffic noise. He hated Chicago he hated big cities. If it were up to him he would be long gone. Far away, where the sun shone and where no toxins polluted its air. Costa Rica or Hawaii would be nice. Far away from problems and worries.

The elevator doors open and he steps out of the elevator and quickly out of the hotel, in his taxi. Are you looking for your number and stare at her name.

You miss your laughter, the free and carefree laughter. It was the nicest thing you've ever heard. Your icy, yet loving way. Your scent, her perfume which person would recognize thousands more. Her blue eyes, in which you fell in love and her body.

The longing for it rises in you. You hated it when you have to go. But today it fell to you to go even harder. You know, it was her job. She loves her work and you admire them for it. Every move you took on before the Court. Every little teasing and every little smile from you can be short your world.

Suddenly her name will appear on your screen, as they would be able to read your mind.

You know, that might not last forever.

You know that you can be hurt not prevent, but you can decide by whom and your decision has been made. You step into the taxi and it drives off, to where you feel at home.

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When you hear his voice from the mailbox, everything falls together in you. You build on guilt, the anger rising within you.

You can yell your phone back on the bedside table and you sink under your duvet. It would be childish to call again, do you think, but your longing for it eats up. You want him, no, you need him. You had a lot of men, but there was none like him. Even if you totally different since, you feel loved for the first time. It's the little details that make it particularly and perhaps you could have to prevent it.

Your tears dance across your cheeks and you're trying to sleep. Maybe your dreams are more beautiful.

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A second chapter follows in the next few days. xo S.