Chapter One: The Chocolate Curse
"So, let me get this straight..." Kogami trailed off, looking at the energetic ginger in front of him. "Earlier this morning, you received a new charm, just the one, off a random donation. You didn't see the donor's face, since they were wearing a hood, so you have absolutely no way of telling if the charm is harmless or not..." He rolled his eyes. "And you're still going to try it."
"It's got the word chocolate in it, how bad can it be?" Kagari shrugged. "Besides, if this thing is a good charm, I can sell it in my shop!"
"Your shop is the only thing keeping us in business," Kogami muttered darkly.
"Come on Ko, the way people use the stuff they buy can't be traced back to me," he smirked. "And what could go wrong? I have two of the strongest Anti-Hex Wizards in the city right in front of me. Look, it turns things to chocolate, it can't be that harmful!"
"We once dealt with a charm which had the word 'kittens' in it, Kagari," Akane sighed. "The poor man who cast it had already thrown up ten kittens by the time we got there."
"This seriously can't be part of your 'serial curser' case," Kagari laughed. Since he ran a popular magical joke shop, he didn't take much seriously, or think about the consequences of the charms he cast, unlike Kogami and Akane, who ran an anti-hex company alongside two others, a man named Ginoza and his father. They were famous in the city as being the most talented and effective when dealing with curses of all shapes and forms, and it was still a mystery as how the two anti-curse wizards were close friends with a man who made his living off selling minor and harmless curses. "You guys are just paranoid! Anyways, here goes nothin'!"
"Kagari, wait!" Akane yelled out and then stopped. It could be dangerous to disturb a spell; she'd learned that when she'd ran into Kogami halfway during a Transport spell, and she had to spend 40 minutes trying to track down his right hand side while his perplexed left hand side sat in the office, unable to do much.
"Take me, shake me," he shook the chocolate square before finishing the charm. "And I will make thee, Quetzalcoatl's Tchocolatl," he wrinkled his nose in distaste at the strange words. After a couple of seconds, nothing happened. "Aww, dammit! He ripped me off! I paid 300 gold for this-"
He cut off suddenly, catching the other two by surprise. When they finally caught sight of him, their mouths fell open, and Kogami was the first to sigh in exasperation. "Dammit, Kagari, it's my day off." Kagari, renowned joke-shop owner, was now made entirely of chocolate, his face frozen in a tasty looking scowl. Akane shook her head and quickly cast a Reversion charm, which would have usually resolved the problem. However, Kagari stayed as still as a statue made of chocolate, which was now essentially what he had become.
"Um, Kogami?" Akane piped up. "The Reversion spell isn't working."
"What? Nah, let me try, I'm sure it'll work," Kogami tried to sound calm and collected, and cast his own Reversion spell. "Well, that is... That is not good."
"Especially not good, considering it's the hottest day of the year," Akane agreed. "We should probably refrigerate him, or keep him cool." She quickly froze the room and shivered, buttoning her jacket. She quickly made the shop sign announce to any passers by that the shop was closed, but since the thing had a mind of its own, it just screamed, 'PISS OFF!' anyone who tried to enter. Akane was too occupied by the chocolate Kagari to bother scolding the sign. "Why don't we call Mr. Masaoka or Mr. Ginoza?"
"Yeah, and tell them that Kagari managed to curse himself whilst two anti-curse wizards stood not five feet away from him?" Kogami arched his eyebrow. "I say we fix Kagari, make him pay us, and keep it on the downlow from the other two."
"Sounds like a plan," Akane nodded. "Just one small problem with that plan."
"Oh?"
"How do we 'fix' Kagari?" She hissed. "It's not your everyday curse..."
"Nah, it's blocking all of my anti-hex spells, which is incredibly rare. As in non-existent." Kogami rubbed his black hair. "I get that we've seen some shit in the years we've been working together, but none that blocks anti-hex spells."
"He's started melting," Akane pointed out. "I'm going to have to deep Freeze the entire building."
"That's going to mess up his stuff," Kogami pointed out. "He'll get pissed."
"At least he'll be able to get pissed about something," Akane countered and Froze the entire building. "I'll have Candy search this up for us." Kogami groaned internally at the prospect of dealing with Akane's PA, a jellyfish they'd found washed up on the beach about two years back. Akane had saved the creature's life and made it sentient, and the thing insisted on being Akane's assistant. It could even hold a pen! "Summon Candy," she mumbled, and the Jellyfish crashed through the window not a second later.
"Hello, Akane!" It greeted her jovially. "Do you require my assistance?"
"Yes, please, Candy," she smiled. "Could you find any books that mention Quetzalcoatl's Tchocolatl?"
"Okay!" The jellyfish speed off again, and returned with about five books. "Nobuchika Ginoza would like to know why you're looking up that charm. Should I tell him that Shusei Kagari is currently made of chocolate?"
"No, god, no!" Akane snapped. "You know what Candy? Take the day off! Go to the beach!" The assistant needed not another order before it vanished. "Okay, start searching, Kogami!" Akane threw a few books at him.
Finally, they had all the books opened at the correct page after about 20 minutes. All of them told the pair the history of the charm, and the proper procedure- Kagari was meant to stick it on an object he wanted to turn to chocolate, but since he'd just held it in his hand, he had become the chocolate thing- yet there wasn't a single word on how to reverse the charm. And more worryingly, that the charm was semi-permanent if not cleared in the first twenty four hours. "We are so fucked," Kogami commented after Akane finished reading the last passage aloud. "We are so, so fucked."
"What should we do?"
"I say we eat him, or sell him, and just get rid of the evidence," he suggested weakly.
"Kogami, I am not eating my friend!" Akane snapped.
"Well if you don't want it, there are several starving people down the street who would absolutely love it," he replied dryly. "Relax, I'm joking. There's no way I'd ever eat Kagari. I'd feel like he was looking at me."
"Enough." Akane sighed. "If we track down the person who sold it to him, they might know!"
"It's worth a shot," Kogami nodded. "I'm going to go ahead and assume they touched the charm before handing it over, so I'll trace it." He scooped the charm up and closed his eyes. He stayed there for about five minutes, which was longer than usual. "I couldn't actually tell where they were, but I can see where they were. We'll need a Navigate." He closed his eyes again before quickly marching out the store. Akane followed, practically running to keep up.
"See you soon, Kagari!" She called as she closed the shop door.
"PISS OFF!" screamed the sign.
After half an hour of stiff marching/running, the two finally halted in a back alley; it didn't take a genius to figure out the one they'd been tracing had left. However, in their wake, they'd left a small pale pink envelope with their names on it. Kogami stepped forward first- if it turner out to be a malicious object, he would be the one who'd get hit. It turned out to be an uncharmed envelope, but the letter inside could be a different story.
Your friend is naught but a Valentine's gift, but I understand that Kagaris are forever, not just for Valentines. In order to help your friend, you must deal with the problem as you would with every lover's hex.
Kogami sighed at the odd phrasing; like the vendor had tried to be mysterious and aloof and it hadn't really worked all that well. He silently passed it to Akane, who went bright red. "A lover's hex? So... That means we'll have to make a love potion then..." She went even brighter red.
"We'll look up the recipe," Kogami sighed. "Goddammit."
"I know it already," Akane blurted out.
"Why?" Kogami raised a suspicious eyebrow, but she just squeaked something incoherent in return, so he dropped the subject. "Okay then. What is it?"
Akane composed herself, and recited, "Three hearts of precious wild pink rose that under sun and starlight grows; three silver spoons of honey gold awakens power of old; Three silver spoons of brandy wine- you shall be mine, you shall be mine. You shall be mine till I you free; this is my will, so it shall be."
"So we need three pale pink roses that grow in the wild, six silver spoons, natural honey," (one never used store bought in potions- it was an abomination), "and some brandy wine. I can't believe we're putting a love potion on KAGARI, of all people."
The firm was always busy on Valentine's Day- either lovers hexed each other, or screwed up when making love potions, which usually lead to hate potions. Hence, on February the 13th, Akane took a day off to brew love potions for the business to use the next day. "Where are we meant to get the brandy wine?" Akane muttered. "We can't use store bought, that's a rookie mistake."
"Pops," Kogami replied. "We have to steal Pops' brandy."
"It was a gift from his wife!" Akane sounded stunned.
"And we might have to make a gift of Kagari," Kogami shot back.
"Ugh, fine, but only what we need- three spoonfuls!" She waggled her finger. "Okay, here's the plan. I will go and get the roses and the honey and you will go and get six CLEAN silver spoons and steal Mr. Masaoka's brandy which was a gift from his deceased wife, can I add."
"I'll see you at Kagari's shop in an hour," Kogami sighed.
Once they'd reconvened (Akane covered in scratches from the roses and stings from disgruntled bees, and Kogami with a black eye from an equally disgruntled Masaoka), they spread the things they needed on the floor around the scowling chocolate Kagari. Akane had found a bowl and added clean water, which was the staple of every good and effective potion. Nodding grimly, she began to chant the recipe and added the centres of the roses to the water, where they liquefied immediately and gave the liquid a pale pink shade. Next was the honey, which she dutifully poured into a separate spoon and tipped in with the rose centres, so the liquid was now pink with streaks of gold shimmering in the light when it caught it. Kogami was the one to tip in the little brandy he'd been allowed to take as Akane steadily carried on the chant.
Once it was done, she poured it in a relatively nondescript bottle, so if anyone saw her with it, she couldn't be teased. Besides she would never use a love potion- her eyes quickly flashed at Kogami's handsome face- well, she might use it. You know. As a joke. Yeah. A joke.
Kogami himself was also looking at the potion and to his attractive partner, and thinking the exact same. Maybe. Just maybe.
Akane stood up shakily and began to flick the potion on Kagari's face and hoped to whatever god ruled the crazy world of magic that it would work. What if it didn't, and the vendor was just screwing with them? That would mean they'd wasted their time!
"-piece of shit," Kagari finished his sentence, and then paused. "What's with you two? And why is it so cold in here?" A few seconds later. "Who the hell froze my shop?!"
"Guilty," Akane said quietly. "I'm sorry, Kagari, I just didn't want you to melt,"
"Okay, I get that it's a hot day and all, but humans can't melt, stupid," Kagari pouted.
"But chocolate can," Kogami in. "You turned yourself to chocolate, moron."
"I did? Aww, shit!" Kagari groaned. "Suppose that means I've failed my magic health and safety test with this thing."
"Yeah, don't sell that," Kogami advised his friend. "Give it to me, we'll dispose of it properly." Glumly, Kagari handed it over, and then spied the love potion.
"THAT'S WHAT FIXED ME?! A LOVE POTION?!" He sounded incredulous. "Look, I've seen some shit but seriously, a love potion? A fricking love potion?" He shrugged. "Ah well, I'll be taking that! I can sell it instead of chocolate charm!" With a sigh of his own, Kogami handed it over.
With hurried goodbyes, he and Akane left to sort out the 'malicious' chocolate charm, and make up some bullshit to Ginoza about why they had it. Kogami was usually very skilled in that area, while Akane usually gave the older man puppy eyes. Though Nobuchika Ginoza would never admit it, he had a soft spot in his heart for the youngest member of the anti-hex squad.
Shortly after they had left and Kagari had finally unFrozen his poor shop, he got in his first customer of the day, despite it being mid-afternoon. The customer was also a close friend of his, Kogami's and Akane's, so Kagari's defence was down when he saw him. It was also why Kagari sold him the love potion for 2000 Gold, no questions asked.