Beware Twisted Minds at Work

Author: Twisted Mind Kanpeki (Ka n pe ki) and Striker

Written 9/20/2001

Title: The Adventures of Kanpeki and Striker

Rating: R Now I don't believe that younger children can't read this shit or watch porn. Anyway R due to strong language, sexual themes, aaaah hell. It's a bunch of bad shit that some ADULTS would find offensive for their children. Or some people would find offensive to them, well, smuck you. Striker "Smuck you?"

Kanpeki " Bite me dipwad."

Anyway..... please enjoy.

Category: Video games\Anime

Legal Crap: Lunar 2 and Hiro, Luccia, and Ruby all belong to Working designs.

Persona 2, Rhapsody, Cornet, Myao, Kururu, Crowdia, Gao, Marjorly all belong to Atlus.

Zelda, Link, and Ocarina of Time are all Nintendo's

Chibimon, Tai, Sora, Izzy, Are all Digimon characters and whoever Digimon belongs to. (I don't know)

Screw it only Kanpeki, Boomman, Flapjack man, Shiny man, and Zoomman are mine.

Striker belongs to Striker

Ch.1: Wake Up Morons

I hope you enjoy this.

Any complaints (If you were offended) can be sent to gibilaro.h@mailcity.com

Any compliments can also be sent there.

Prologue: This is a story of 2 boys. One has guns and can blow shit up.

Cut to Striker shooting targets. "Combustion" The target range blows up.

The other has magical powers and can also blow shit up.

Cut to scene of Kanpeki throwing around fireballs at targets, blowing them up.

Both have 3 i.q. points between them.

Striker is twirling a gun then puts it in his hip holster. Bang! "Oww shit my foot."

Kanpeki is juggling fireballs. He sees a quarter "ooh shiny" He grabs the quarter. The fireballs fall on his back burning him. "Ow, Shit, shit, shit. It burns, it burns."

They are the chosen to save our world.

Striker and Kanpeki try to give each other high fives. They end up slapping each other's head. Both: "ow"

May god help us all.

Kanpeki and Striker are playing super smash brothers.

Striker: "ha, as expected I am the victor"

Kanpeki: "Don't quote Valkrie Profile. Let's just play Ocarina of Time."

Navi: "Hey, listen"

Striker: "Stupid annoying shit."

Kanpeki: "Hey, is Navi supposed to be purple, and growing, and swirly?"

Striker: "Noooo, dumbass, the games fucking up!"

The purple thing is a portal.

As Kanpeki and Striker get sucked in.

Kanpeki:"oh crap" Striker: "damnit fuck"

Kanpeki and Striker appear in a forest.

Striker:"Whoa. Where are we?"

Saria walks by (Ocarina of time)

Kanpeki: "excuse me a moment"

Striker pulls out a mallet and smacks Kanpeki Striker"I smacked you with a mallet. We've gone anime"

Kanpeki twirls his finger "pretty birdy's fly round"

Striker "do you know what that means?"

Kanpeki's mouth opens and drools "girls?"

Striker "yes.....and sweat drops"

Kanpeki "girls"

Striker"collapses"

Kanpeki "girls"

Striker"emotional backgrounds"

Kanpeki "girls"

Striker looks at Kanpeki sideways than thwaps him with a fan."cool fan thwaps"

(note: thwap is fan and smack is hammer/mallet)

Kanpeki thinks "Hmmm" pulls out a bigass sword "Cool" falls "Oww"

Striker sweat drops "Hey I did it"

Kanpeki puts bigass sword in inventory "We're in a rpg too"

Striker "how do you know?"

Kanpeki "I just put a bigass sword in my pants and I don't feel the weight nor can you see it"

Striker"You're weird. Well, we're in a rpg. What next?"

Saria walks by.

Kanpeki: "excuse me."

Striker smacks Kanpeki with a hammer.

Striker "Seriously though, what's next?"

Kanpeki "How about that blue tower with the sign "next dungeon" on it?"

An old man walks up "There is where you will find the meaning for your existence upon this world."

Striker "And you are?"

The old man blinks, then turns into a gigantic demon lizard (like Shen-due complete form from Jackie Chan adventures.)

Striker "I-i-i-i-it's a monster! What are we gonna do!?"

Kanpeki "Well, I would suggest screaming like a little girl, but since you've got that covered, let's run like hell!"

Striker "Okay."

Kanpeki and Striker run like they've pissed of a girl.

Striker (breathless) "Okay, I think we lost him."

Kanpeki and Striker end up in front of the Blue tower.

Kanpeki "Hmmm, the Blue spire, gateway to the Blue star. Let's go in."

Inside Kanpeki and Striker See Hiro and Ruby.

Kanpeki points toward them "Hey look it's Hiro."

Striker "How do you know?"

Kanpeki "He has a green tattoo under his eye and a red flying cat/dragon by his side."

Striker "Whatever. Well let's.."

Kanpeki "Hey! Hiro!"

Striker "No you dumbass." Thwaps Kanpeki.

Hiro "ummm, who are you?"

Kanpeki "Uhhhh,"

Striker "Adventurers. We're looking for adventure."

Hiro "Okay...... Wanna come with us?"

Ruby the pink flying cat: "what are you talking about? Don't invite some weirdos to come with us. I mean look at that guy." Points at Kanpeki. "He's a moron."

Kanpeki: "Hey."

Ruby continues: "And look at that one." Points to Striker. "he's a freaking dumbass."

Striker: "Hey."

Kanpeki: "You know, you talk way to much for your own good."

Kanpeki advances on Ruby.

Ruby brandishes her claws and swipes.

Kanpeki jumps back just in time. "Holy shit."

Striker thwaps Kanpeki.: "So, what's up?"

Hiro "We saw a bright shining light at the top of the spire and we're gonna check it out."

Kanpeki "Ooooh shiny. Let's go!"

Kanpeki runs off. Sounds of laughter and monstrous screams are heard.

Ruby: "You hang out with that guy?"

Striker sighs. "Yes. Sad isn't it?"

Hiro and Ruby blink. Both: "ummmm, no."

Hiro, Ruby, and Striker follow up the stairs. Various burned, twitching corpses lie scattered.

Striker sighs: "Why did they take him off his medication?"

From far away "Screw you."

At the top, Kanpeki is staring at a faintly glowing globe.

Striker thwaps Kanpeki: "Don't run off like that. And, by the way, you have a knife in your back."

Kanpeki: "Huh? Oh right. It's a dagger. See, it's a little longer than a normal knife."

Striker sighs, Hiro blinks a few times, and Ruby sweat drops.

[Kanpeki uses bandage. 5 hp restored.]

Kanpeki "I wonder who does that?"

The knife disappears.

Kanpeki: "See, all gone."

Everyone sweat drops.

Striker "I'm beginning to hate rpg's"

Kanpeki: "Shutup and look at the shiny globe." pokes it.

Everyone is suddenly teleported into a blue room. At the end of the room Luccia is nude inside a green crystal. Her blue flowing hair falls to her hips.

Hiro: "She's so, beautiful."

Ruby: "What are you talking about? You don't even know her. You have a crush don't you? You even invited those two weirdos."

Kanpeki: "That was a really cool ride."

Striker: "There's a naked girl and all you're thinking about is the ride?!"

Kanpeki: "Hey, there are more important things in life than sex." Begins chanting that to himself trying to remind himself.

Ruby: "And he's a pervert to."

Kanpeki turns to Ruby: "You are really getting on my nerves."

Ruby swipes Kanpeki's face.

Kanpeki jumps back and grabs Ruby by the scruff of her neck.

Ruby struggles "Aaaaaah. Let go, let go, let go, let go. Let me go you perv."

Kanpeki holds ruby up to his face: "bite me hairball with wings."

Ruby get's a anger cross mark and bites him on the nose.

Kanpeki drops Ruby and grabs his nose. "I did not mean that literally."

Both Hiro and Striker sweat drop.

Kanpeki: "And I am not a perv."

Hiro: "Shutup. She's coming out."

Luccia steps out of the green crystal. As she steps out, Red flowing, robes appear.

Striker and Hiro (disappointed) "Damn."

Kanpeki: "Wow. Those are beautiful clothes."

Luccia: "I am Luccia. I have come from the Blue star to meet Althena. Please, take me to her."

Striker and Hiro: "Sure."

Ruby: "Wait a minute, we can't just take along another person. I mean, these guys alone...."

Ruby keeps talking and dissing Kanpeki and Striker when Luccia raises her hand and teleports everyone out into a large room with various monsters in menacing poses.

Luccia: "Why are these monsters here? There should be no evil within these walls."

Striker pulls out a shotgun"Don't worry we'll take care of them."

Kanpeki pulls out a broadsword and Hiro draws a short sword.

Striker "Go."

Hiro and Kanpeki run at the monsters as Striker raises up his shotgun.

Luccia raises her arm and a holy fire spreads throughout the room. The monsters's eyes widen right before they're burned.

Ruby: "Oh my god!"

Striker: "Holy fuck!"

Kanpeki- twitch, twitch, twitch.

Hiro: "How do you have so much power?"

Luccia: "Let's hurry."

As the party travels downward, monsters jump out. Striker shoots at them, Hiro throws his boomerang, and Kanpeki tosses fireballs.

At the bottom, the party rests near a spring. Ruby sleeps next to the water and Hiro is swimming. Kanpeki is practicing with his sword.

Luccia pulls Striker aside "Your friend is very powerful."

Striker: "Naaw, he's just stupid"

Luccia: "But the spells he cast.."

Striker: "Dumb luck"

Suddenly, Kanpeki trips and falls on the ground. He accidently lands on a switch opening a portal. "Oww."

Striker: "See, dumb luck."

Kanpeki stands up and looks at the portal "Should we go in?"

Hiro gets out of the spring, dries off, and puts his clothes on. "What's up?"

Kanpeki: "Should we go in?"

Striker: "Where's the question? Let's go."

Next Chapter_ Hey, Shit happens

Zoomman: "I am Zoomman."

Striker: "And you're fast?"

Zoomman: "No... I go "Zoom zoom zoom."

In memory of those who died on September 11, 2001

For those who died in the terrorist acts of New York and the Anthrax scare, may the 12 dragons lead your souls to rest in peace.

I'm sorry but I'm not very good with words when I'm sad.

Striker: Here's my words! I'm not sad about this, I'm plain fucken pissed! OSAMA BIN LADEN, MAY YOUR BRAIN BE BLOWN OUT OF YOUR LEFT EAR, YOU FUCKIN' ASS LICKING BITCHWAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kanpeki: (Pauses) Uh huh.