Untitled.

Okay. That's it. This has been killing me, so I'm just going to post it.

I keep going back to edit this, and it just makes me sad. So fuck it, I'm going to publish this, and get it off of my chest. Hopefully once and for all.

Hinata's very OOC in this. Sorry about that.

And there's a fair bit of swearing.

It's a little harsh too, could be confronting to readers.

Or whatever.

If I just say 'read at own risk', it pretty much covers everything..

Read at own risk.

It was a sixteenth birthday I'd never forget.

No matter how much I wish I could.

*****

I smiled, stepping out of the car, patting my raven hair down and making sure my shirt was sitting nicely. I was dressed up, for the sole reason that it was my boyfriend's birthday. His sixteenth. And because I was his girlfriend, I got special privileges. Like, getting to his house before anyone else.

Yay.

"Hey baby!" I glanced at Kaito, dressed in a casual black shirt and jeans, as he ran up to me, "What took you so long?"

I grinned at him, letting my pale lavender travel over his shaggy brown hair and equally brown eyes. To me, he looked like a puppy, a ferocious puppy, but a puppy none-the less. "Oh, you know, just took a detour to McDonalds." I grabbed his head in my hand and lead him down to kiss me. "You know me, always getting fat."

Kaito rolled his eyes, "I swear, you need to stop going to Maccas, Hinata. If you get fat I'm going to dump your ass," He said seriously, and I knew he would. He was a very hot-headed guy, quick to get mad, and wasn't afraid to tell me what he thought. It was one of the things that I was attracted to – the fact that he'd say what he thought without question.

But it also scared me a little too.

His temper and quick-to-anger personality often freaked me out a little bit. Not that I'd ever let him know it. He was really strong-willed, and knew what he wanted.

Thinking back, I don't even know why I dated him. Back then, I could think of so many redeeming qualities, the things I liked about him, the reason I didn't leave him.

Now? I realise he's the biggest jerk on the planet.

Even back then I knew he was shallow, and only wanted me for my looks – not like they were anything special, anyway – and he was always going on about my weight, my figure, my appearance. He wanted to make sure I stayed the way he wanted me to be.

I looked up at him as he grinned down on me and spoke, "I like you with your hot little body. Just like this." And he kissed me.

'hot little body'

What a charmer. (Note the sarcasm).

He could've said he liked me just the way I was, but he basically told me that I had to stay in shape or he'd dump me. But then again, Kaito Hagari was never one with words, generally sounding like a crude dick when he talked to me, but he had his moments.

Even back then, sometimes I had to remind myself that he did have redeeming qualities at times. That there was a reason I went out with him in the first place. Whether those reasons still applied I was unsure. Maybe I was just used to going out with him, and that's why I hadn't dumped him yet. I don't know. But he did have his moments.

Kissing me under fireworks, gifting me with teddy bears and flowers, and holding me tightly the way a man should. He could be romantic when he wanted to, and when he was in a good mood, we got along really well and we had a lot in common.

I couldn't ask for anything more, everyone had their imperfections, right?

Right?

I grinned, kissing him back, "Happy Birthday, Kai." I grinned at him, "Getting old yet? Is that a wrinkle I see?" I pretended to flatten an imaginary wrinkle.

He ignored my teasing, and lead me back into his house. I smiled as we walked into the kitchen and saw a massive chocolate cake sitting on the bench. I was surprised, though, when I noticed that Kaito's parents weren't home, nor was his little brother. I thought at least they'd be here for his birthday. But knowing Kaito, he probably kicked them out. He probably argued with them until they gave in and left for the day, so he could have the sixteenth birthday he wanted.

I rolled my eyes at those thoughts, Kaito could be very persuasive when he wanted to be. I guess his parents were just like me, wrapped around his little so he could deal with them as he wished.

Sighing, I looked back over to the giant cake sitting on the bench, looking up at me with love. I was so excited now, my love for cake resurfacing.

Hell, it never really left.

I turned to Kaito, finding it ironic that he was complaining about me getting fat, then getting a colossal chocolate cake for his birthday. He knew of my love for cakes. If he was so determined on me keeping thin, he shouldn't have brought it. I grinned at him, thinking him being a little hypocritical at the moment, and gave him a sly smile, "And you're going on about how I'm gonna get fat. After all this cake, what would this say about yourself?"

"Fuck you, I'm never going to get fat. Besides, at least I have other redeeming qualities than my looks." Okay, that one hurt a little. But I knew I must've offended him as he turned around from me, his eyes darker than usual. This happened at times, and I was pretty used to it. Sometimes he took my innocent teasing offensively; it happens. And when he got a little pissed off, he had that harsh glint in his eyes.

To be perfectly honest, it kind of freaked me out.

He was usually very laid back, and relaxed, but he was known to get pretty angry very quickly. He was a very jealous person in general, and he'd get mad if I even talked to a guy when he wasn't in the conversation. He also wasn't very fond of my jokes, but at least I thought they were funny. He had a bad temper, but as I said, everyone has their imperfections. You've just got to learn how to avoid them, at times.

As much as I wished differently, this wasn't one of those times.

"I wouldn't get fat. Unlike you, who's already been putting on weight." His brown eyes narrowed, "Yeah, I've noticed. You've been getting fatter over the weeks, Hinata."

That was a lie. I had not been getting fat. I went for a run just about every night to keep healthy and in shape. Even now, insecure little me jogs just about every night to keep myself.. acceptable, I guess. So his comment angered me.

"I have not been getting fat." I sighed at him, annoyed, "What's your problem anyway? I was only joking! You've been so shallow lately!"

There was a saying; 'don't poke the sleeping bear', or something similar that was well suited for this situation. But the problem here, was that sometimes you just can't help it! What if that bear had been annoying the shit out of you for months and offends you constantly, wouldn't you think you have the right to stick up for yourself?

Exactly.

But, the problem with this bear, is the fact that it is stubborn and angry and has some serious relationship issues. That didn't help the situation.

"Well you've been acting like such a slut lately! I'm your boyfriend, I have a right to tell you what I think!" He took a threatening step forward, "And you'd think I'd notice if you're getting fat. If you hadn't been flirting with every second guy you talked to then maybe you could keep in shape!"

This was another issue we'd been having lately.

For some insane reason, he had been constantly accusing me of flirting with guys. I hadn't been, but he didn't see it that way. In his eyes, even saying two words to a person of the opposite gender in passing was leading him on.

Wow. I must've been such a slut.

(Note the sarcasm.)

It annoyed the hell out of me, because I was very fond of my male friends.

See that?

FRIENDS.

I wasn't the type of person to be dishonest or unfaithful, and I hated that Kaito always yelled at me for it. Especially considering he sweet talked his number into every-second-girl-he-talked-to's phones.

Now, I'm not going to paint the wrong picture here, Kaito wasn't the guy to cheat on anyone, either. If he wanted another girl, he was going to dump the one he had. Or at least tell her that was what he had planned to do, so she could make the decision for herself. He was a laid back guy, with a bad temper.

That would be the best way to explain it.

But at that moment, I was just mad at him for accusing me of flirting with other guys. Again.

"You're kidding me, right?" I glared at him angrily, holding my stance rigid as I glowered at him, "What's your problem? I'm not flirting with anybody! They're my friends! And I treat them like friends! I don't yell at you for flirting with girls!"

"I don't fucking flirt with anybody. 'They're my friends'," He mocked in a stupid tone that was supposed to be my voice, "Maybe I should go and hook up with all those girls and then you can finally see how I feel!"

Before I continue, I'd like to get one thing straight; not once had I ever cheated on Kaito. Not during our relationship, and not with any other relationship I'd ever had.

And this is explained in the next thing I said:

"BUT I DIDN'T HOOK UP WITH ANYBODY!"

There.

"Dick."

Okay, I clearly remember just throwing that one in because I was mad. Hey, it was the best insult I could come up with at the time, okay?

Well, this is the part where it gets a little hazy. More harsh words were exchanged – most of which I don't remember – and anger reached well past boiling point. Things started to move fast, which translates to; violence got involved.

I remember exactly how it happened – obviously, because I was there – no matter how much I wish I could forget due to trauma or something equally retarded.

The first thing that happened, was that he kissed me. I still fail to understand the reasoning for that kiss. Weren't we fighting?

So, I slapped him.

And if we weren't fighting before, we were definitely fighting now.

I remember being shoved into the fridge in his kitchen, and I don't know how, but I a moment later, I hit the floor.

Trapped.

In a very compromising position.

That I really didn't want to be in.

I really did not like this part in the story, but however much I wish I could just skip it, "the only way you can get through it is if you let it out" or some other shit like that was told to me by some 'concerned' friend who pretended to know what I was going through.

So, here's that part of the story.

However, I'm not going into detail. Because detail sucks, and I'm pretty sure I'd fall into a coma, so, just deal with what's here.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, right. The floor.

Now, there's one thing I hate more than anything in the world; and that was the feeling I felt in that moment.

Before then, I've always had some feeling of self-control, of self-respect, of being able to choose my decisions and feel strong enough to be able to fight for them.

But then, I was helpless.

Helpless. One word of the English language that I couldn't stand.

Because it describes perfectly how I felt in that exact moment.

Fucking helpless.

With another body on top of mine, I had no control over myself.

With his body on top of mine, I had no control over myself.

I couldn't move.

This hit me the hardest out of the whole fiasco.

This feeling, that I can't even explain. It fucking sucks.

More than anyone could ever understand.

I always thought I was strong, I always thought I'd be able to look after myself. If I was mugged, I expected myself to be able to deal with it, if I was being yelled at, I was going to stick up for myself in a second. But that feeling of strength was completely gone.

Because I couldn't move.

I was trapped.

Helpless.

Then he just made it worse. He said that one sentence that still haunts me and if I ever hear anything remotely similar I start to cry.

Talk about retarded.

Fucking traumatised.

I'm not going to repeat the sentence, simply because I don't want to.

And if you read a few sentences above you'll clearly see why.

'… still haunts me and if I ever hear anything remotely similar I start to cry.'

To say I was shocked was an understatement. What was happening never hit me as hard as it did at that moment. I realised that I was going to be... y'know.

And it was the most fucking scariest shit that's ever happened to me.

Don't try to understand when you have no idea what I felt at that moment. Keep living your pretty little lives oblivious to those horrific happenings in the world. And hopefully, nothing will happen to you.

Maybe you'll even be happy.

But for me, that was too much to ask for.

I knew that clearly by the man that was currently laying on top of me.

You never really know how weak you are until you're put in a situation where you need strength. At that moment in time, I was both mentally and physically weak. Kaito was on top of me, and I was pinned in place.

And I did what any rational person would do, I panicked. After all, I was trapped underneath his weight, powerless to stop him from whatever he was going to do to me.

He could do anything he wanted, and I couldn't even fight back. I was unable to protect myself and he was in total control.

This was actually happening.

And I couldn't do anything.

I don't know if that was then when I started crying, or the crying had started before that, but all I knew was that I was crying, and the most scared I'd ever been in my entire life.

Thinking back on it, it's kind of embarrassing to admit that I was crying. Hell, the whole experience was embarrassing to admit to. I'd never felt so.. dirty, violated, horrified. I really thought I was going to die.

Well, I'd preferred that ending to the alternative.

Even now, about a year later, I can never say the word. That I was almost... well, y'know. It just made everything seem to real, so true. Like it actually happened. I say that I was attacked. Sexually attacked. And I didn't know what to do.

Hell, at that moment, there was nothing I could do.

But break down into tears and try unsuccessfully to pull him off of me.

There were several moments there, where I was willing to accept my death. I know, it seemed very over-dramatic, and it was a stupid thing to think, but I couldn't help it. Put under a situation of immense stress like that was bound to bring you to delusional conclusions.

I just wanted it to end.

I wanted his hands to stop touching me, his lips, his tongue, his...

I just wanted it over.

And every fucking day I thank god that my wish came true.

In the form of one of my best friends.

Naruto Uzumaki.

The front door opening, and the loud voice of Naruto, "Hey guys, guess who's the first to arrive?"

And as idiotic as it sounds, I just cried louder.

But thankfully, he heard me.

I clearly remember hearing him yelling "What the fuck?" As he walked into the kitchen, and I remember calling out his name, trying to tell him to help me.

He did.

Pulling Kaito off of me, he punched him in the face.

I'd never seen Naruto that mad.

And to tell you the truth; I was a little scared of Naruto at that moment as well.

Thinking back on it now, I think of everything he did as heroic and understandable. But at the time, I couldn't help but think he looked just as mad as Kaito did when he... attacked me.

I'd never been so grateful for his help. At that moment, I didn't think of the immodest state of my clothes, or the fact that I probably looked like I'd been run over with a lawnmower, I just got up off of the floor, and launched myself at Naruto. There wasn't much else I could do but cry into his shoulder.

And he did the only thing I wanted in that moment.

He took me away.

The rumours would resurface later, and I'd have to tell some of my friends what happened. And then of course I'd have to face Kaito, and deal with things. But I will forever thank god that Naruto was there for me. To take me away. Not home, because home was the last place I wanted to be, but he parked the car somewhere in the middle of no-where, and just let me cry.

He gave me his jumper, to cover my immodest clothes, and just sat there, patting my back as I lay on his shoulder; crying.

And that was all I wanted.

I can never get this story to do justice.

Maybe if I finally post it, it will leave me alone.

Well, there you have it.

DONE.

Cheers.