Secrets of the Jounin
A/N: Dedicated to a new group of friends with hearts big enough to accept me as a (read: another) sister wife.
This story could not have been written without your creative input, and encouragement. Thank you.
This fic is my submission to Kakashiweek2018, "Jounin" prompt.
Please look for my Tumblr post of this story, where I will include a sketch by a very talented artist, Maxx, who was kind enough to lend their talents and helped inspire this piece.
I do not own these characters; I had a wonderful time exploring them.
Hiruzen Sarutobi never expected to promote a budding leaf to the rank of jounin. But here he was, doing just that to a thirteen-year-old boy.
Not that it was just any thirteen-year-old boy, by all accounts he was a brilliant shinobi: a genius, but a boy just the same. With a warring heart and mind, the Third Hokage looked down onto the small head of silver hair and sighed before meeting the boy's grey eyes.
"You have exceeded our expectations of you, Kakashi. Expectations that were already so high. The Hidden Leaf is lucky to have a talented shinobi such as yourself among our jounin." Hiruzen wasn't certain he should be congratulating the boy on achieving the highest and most dangerous rank at his tender age, but seeing the glimmer of pride in the young Hatake's eyes, he couldn't help but add, "you've done well." The village leader also thought to mention how proud the boy's late father would've been, but decided to keep his silence on that sensitive topic.
Proceeding to the final gesture of Kakashi's promotion, he lifted a parcel off of his desk and presented it to the determined, young genius. "In here you will find your jounin vest. It is the uniform that designates your rank. You are expected to wear it from now on during every mission you're assigned unless otherwise instructed." Hiruzen handed the box wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine to Kakashi, who accepted it eagerly.
"Professor," the silver-haired boy began, but then he stuttered. "I-I mean, Lord Third," he tried again, saying the final two words with greater care. The Third Hokage chuckled to himself as the new jounin thought how to word his question.
"What should I pack in my vest? What I mean is," the young genius crumbled a little for not knowing something he thought so basic. Lowering his voice and his eyes, he went on "I just want to be prepared for whatever missions you assign to me."
"That's a good question, Kakashi. I'm glad you asked," Hiruzen didn't want to discourage any question the young Hatake may have for him.
"Most jounin carry shuriken and kunai in hip pouches, for easier access. On the outside of your vest, you will find three scroll pouches on either side of the zipper. Elite ninja carry additional weapons, explosive tags, or supplies sealed within those scrolls. Shinobi that have summoning contracts carry those in their vests, as well. You could always have your ninken close at hand that way, which I'm sure pleases you." The Third Hokage thought he detected a small smile from behind the fabric facial mask the boy wore.
"Because it's your official uniform, you shouldn't modify the appearance of your vest in any way. For that reason," Hiruzen placed a hand on the box containing Kakashi's new vest, "there are interior pockets which allow jounin to carry things of personal importance with them on their missions."
"What sorts of things?" Kakashi thought of all the different specialized jutsus he knew his comrades wielded and wondered what items they might carry that complimented their unique strengths.
"Well, that depends on the individual. One of my teammates, Homura, always carried a spare set of glasses with him, should he break or lose a pair. Koharu, on the other hand, has very perceptive eyes, and would often store things she would find on missions to analyze when she returned home. Though, I think she may have also smuggled sweets in her pockets for late-night cravings while she was on watch," the village leader spared a wink for Kakashi. "Our sensei was the Second Hokage, Lord Tobirama Senju. He always carried blank scrolls and ink with him for drafting many of the shinobi rules which all of us follow."
"And what about you, Prof-Lord Third?" Two slate grey eyes focused intently on the elder Sarutobi, keen to know any secrets he may share.
"Me? I'm a simple man. I carried my pipe, and tobacco on missions. And also," the Hokage lowered his voice a little. "A book of verses by the poet, Issa." At the new, young jounin's perplexed expression, Hiruzen offered a bit of insight to himself, along with one of his favorite passages.
"In this world
We walk on the roof of hell
Gazing at flowers."
Kakashi looked down at the parcel he held.
"Why don't you ask other Konoha jounin what they choose to take with them on missions?" Hiruzen prepares to dismiss the silver-haired boy with a pat to the youth's shoulder. "If they're willing to tell you, it may help you decide what items you think you'd need and want while away from home."
The young elite exited the Hokage's office and found his team waiting for him just outside the door. The tallest of the three was the first to offer his compliments. "Congratulations on becoming jounin, Kakashi," Minato's gentle voice filled the youth with pride at having earned praise from his sensei.
"Thank you, Minato-sensei. Sensei, what do you carry-" Kakashi was cut off by the female member of his squad, who couldn't suppress her excitement.
"Wow Kakashi, a jounin at thirteen! You're amazing!" The brunette beamed at her crush, urging the final of the three teammates to break from his sulking.
"It's not that amazing, Rin." Rolling his eyes behind his goggles, the young man rounded on his promoted teammate. "Just you wait, Bakashi! When my sharingan awakens, I'll become jounin. And then when I'm the Hokage, I'll be your boss!" The raven-haired boy couldn't control his snickers at the thought.
"But until then Obito," Minato's patient sigh stopped the argument before it started, "this is quite an achievement, and Kakashi deserves to be recognized. Can't you congratulate your comrade?"
Having put it that way, Obito couldn't refuse, "well, yeah. Just do your best," he managed to mumble out. Quickly followed by, "anyway, what're you holding Bakashi?"
"His new jounin vest," the sensei grinned at his silver-haired student.
"About that Minato-sensei, I want to ask you-" the new jounin is cut off again by one of his squad members.
"GOOD. Now you can stop stuffing your pockets with weapons. Poor Rin is running out of bandages for your fingers," Obito was snickering again.
"That's enough, Obito. Rin," the Yellow Flash turned to the peacemaker of Team Minato, "could you please take Obito somewhere he can't bother Kakashi for the rest of the afternoon?" Turning to his new fellow jounin, he offers "I'll meet with you later to help you seal your weapons for the scroll pockets, alright Kakashi? I have to get the details of our mission from Lord Third now."
"Alright, Minato-sensei. Thank you," his questions would have to wait until later.
Kakashi takes the long way back to his apartment in the hopes of meeting with other Konoha jounin along the way. His detour leads him past the training grounds. As he looks across the fields, he spies two of the three Legendary Sannin and makes a beeline for them.
"Good afternoon Jiraiya-sensei, Orochimaru-sensei," his small silver-haired head bows in greeting to the formidable shinobi. "I have something I'd like to ask you both."
"Sure kid," the Toad Mountain Sage angles his bulky form to face the young genius, "ask away."
"You've just been made jounin, haven't you?" Orochimaru narrows his yellow eyes at the boy's serious expression.
"Yes sir, I have, and it's about that actually," Kakashi glances down at the parcel he held in his hands. "What do you carry in the interior pockets of your vests?"
Neither of the Sannin spoke at first, taking a moment to collect their thoughts and decide upon which secrets they ought to keep. Then, Jiraiya clears his throat, earning a sidelong glance from his reptilian teammate.
"Well, I mean, nothing out of the ordinary, heh heh." Jiraiya looks up to the sky to keep a flush from climbing up his face. "It's nice to bring things that help pass the time around a campfire on nights you spend away from home. So I always have a deck of playing cards with me,"
"With naked women on them. Even Tsunade wouldn't play against you, and that's saying something." Orochimaru enjoys making his comrade squirm a little too much.
"Ha ha ha, yeah, well, I also carry paper and ink with me for when I do my research," Jiraiya tries to save face.
"Don't forget your binoculars to get every little detail on the women you 'research,' old friend."
Looking at Orochimaru like he's no friend of his at all, Jiraiya continues, "and-some-salty-snacks-and-that's-about-it."
"Is it? I don't think it is," the snake charmer smirks at his fellow Sannin. "In fact, I know it isn't. You carry a pair of Tsunade's panti-"
"WHAT DO YOU CARRY IN YOUR POCKETS OROCHIMARU?" The Toad Sage was almost as red as his haori when he shifted Kakashi's attention away from himself.
Konoha's newest jounin watched the two men stare one another down. The three stood in silence for a rather long time before Orochimaru finally broke it with a quiet chuckle.
"You don't want to know."
"Right, well, this has been really helpful," the young genius lied like the excellent shinobi he was. "I'll ask some of the other jounin; thank you."
'The direct approach isn't working,' Kakashi thought to himself as he neared the village's public bathhouse. Hearing the unmistakable, raucous laughter of Konoha's Ino-Shika-Cho team members, inspiration struck. Was he a ninja, or wasn't he?
The young jounin snuck into the bathhouse, and quietly stole into the room where patrons stored their personal effects. It wasn't difficult to find what he was looking for, the massive green vest hanging from the third hook on the right could only belong to Chouza Akimichi.
Kakashi gingerly set his parcel down before rifling through the vest of the human bullet tank. Most of the pockets were bulging with high-caloric snacks that the boy turned his nose up to. But one pocket held only three slips of paper which turned out to be recipe cards labeled "Spinach," "Yellow Curry," and "Red Chili."
Vests were hanging on either side of the huge one belonging to the Akimichi clan head, so the young genius turned his attention to the starched and pressed one on the left, first. Most of the pockets were empty, but Kakashi found a bottle of aspirin in one, and a book in another. Whispering the title, "The Ego and the Id" he opened to a gap where a section titled "Mapping the new Network" had been marked by a dried and pressed flower. Returning the book to the pocket, he looked to the shaggy vest on the far right.
This vest held all kinds of surprises. A packet of cigarettes and a strong-smelling flask were among the things Kakashi thought a jounin shouldn't carry. There was also a book within its folds; this time it was "The Art of War." The last pocket held only a tiny item, a single shogi tile-the King.
"I'd love to join you, believe me, but my wife will kill me if I'm late." The gravelly voice of Shikaku Nara warned Kakashi he was moments from being discovered. He quickly grabbed his parcel and ran from the bathhouse for home.
Setting the parcel down on a counter in his kitchenette, Kakashi occupied himself by preparing the various items he thought to pack in his new jounin vest. The last of the sun's rays were glinting off of freshly polished kunai and shuriken when the Yellow Flash suddenly appeared in the one-room apartment.
"Minato-sensei! Finally," Kakashi was no longer surprised at his sensei's sudden arrivals.
"I'm sorry that took so long Kakashi," the golden-haired man greeted his silver-haired student with a calm smile. "Now, what am I looking at here, exactly?"
"The items to store in my jounin vest, of course." The young genius stood amid the many items crowding the floor, surprised at his sensei's confusion.
"All of this? I'm not sure everything will fit, Kakashi. Let's go through this together and see what can be eliminated, ok?"
"I, ok. But I want to be prepared, Sensei and these are items that other jounin carry with them."
"They are? Who carries this with them?" Minato pointed at an empty can at the far end of the items gathered on the floor.
"Well, they don't carry that, exactly" Kakashi began to explain his choices. "But a couple of jounin carry cards or shogi tiles, and since I'd played kick the can with Rin and the Idiot, I just thought..."
"I see, and I understand why you would choose that." Minato suppresses a chuckle and relies on his patience in order to continue, "and what about those?"
"These are magazines that I bought for the recipes, so that I," the boy's voice drops to almost a whisper, "could learn to make dinners for myself."
"There are jounin that carry recipes with them?" It was one of those rare moments that the Yellow Flash couldn't hide his surprise.
"Yes, Sensei. At least one jounin does."
There was a little pile of bottles and bandages that looked like Kakashi had emptied his medicine chest, but knowing what Rin had chosen as a present, Minato skipped it entirely. He moved on to the tall stack of neatly folded boxer briefs.
"Do you really need that many pairs of underwear, Kakashi?"
"It's like I said, I want to be prepared, Minato-sensei. I thought it was important because Orochimaru-sensei said that Jiraiya-sensei carries a pair of Lady Tsuna-"
"AH, well, as to that," Minato interrupted his prodigious student before he heard something he didn't want to. "You shouldn't need to pack so many, and," he sighed to the ceiling, "make sure the ones you do bring are your own."
Utterly perplexed, Kakashi stared blankly at his neatly arranged items, and Minato could sense the boy was becoming discouraged. "You know Kakashi, most of the jounin I know carry books and favorite snacks with them."
"Snacks! I forgot, please wait here sensei." The young jounin rushed to rummage through the pantry in his kitchenette. He returned with his arms wrapped around the most enormous bag of dog treats Minato had ever seen.
The bag landed on the floor with a thud and a crunch, and Kakashi looked up to his sensei once more.
Knowing better than to question anything regarding Kakashi and his ninken, Minato asked, "and what about a book?"
"I've read the ones I own so many times, that I just thought I'd read the articles from the magazines I would pack, Sensei."
"Well, here at least I can help you. I had a little trouble finding this, and that is why it took me so long to meet with you this evening." Minato presented a tattered book to Kakashi, who read the title aloud, "Bansenshukai."
"Yes, that is a collection of texts about shinobi philosophies, leadership, tools, and weapons; written by some of the first ninja clans. It was last carried by a great shinobi of this village. A man who was even stronger than the Sannin." Kakashi looked up at his sensei with wonder. Minato continued, "a Leaf jounin who valued his comrades above all else. Take good care of it, Kakashi."
Sensei and student set about narrowing down the choices of what the new young jounin would pack in his vest. Once most everything had been sealed in scrolls, Minato looked at his student. Seeing the anticipation on the youth's face, he said, "Ok Kakashi, go and get your vest."
A silver blur ran to the kitchenette and returned with the parcel in hand. The new jounin cut the twine and tore through the brown wrapping paper. Kakashi carefully lifted the green vest out of the box and stood, thrusting his arms through the holes, and zipping it up before turning to Minato for his approval.
The vest clung to Kakashi's shoulders and fell below his knees. From the other side of an open window, the sound of a young Uchiha trying to suppress his snickers drifted into the room.
With incredible speed, even for the Yellow Flash, the window was shut and the curtains closed. The silver-haired boy looked at his sensei with wide, embarrassed eyes.
"Don't worry about it Kakashi; I'll talk to Lord Third and get a new vest made for you. You can't run in this one, so, it would be impractical to wear it anyway. We'll get your new vest soon; I promise." Even Minato had limits to his patience, and he was bitter that such a mistake had been made. "For now, wear what you usually wear on missions. And," gesturing to the pile of scrolls as he spoke, "at least all of these will fit neatly in your knapsack, for now."
Kakashi shook off his embarrassment, but the disappointment lingered on the visible features of his face. Minato offered the best, most encouraging words to the young jounin in hopes they would lift his spirits. "You are a splendid shinobi, Kakashi. I'm proud of you." The sensei rested his hand on his student's head and ruffled his unruly silver locks.
"I'll see you at the village gate tomorrow morning. Hopefully, Obito won't be too late this time," Minato chuckled at the hint of humor he found in his student's grey eyes.
"Oh, that's right! Minato-sensei, what do you carry in the pockets of your-" Kakashi stopped short when he saw the Yellow Flash was already gone. Sighing, he figured his question could wait a little longer. He picked up his new book and took it with him to read to bed.
Not a half second later, Minato appeared in the kitchen of his home.
"You're late, ya know!" Kushina wasn't surprised by his sudden appearances anymore, either. But she did check her temper at the unfamiliar sight of a frown on Minato's face, "what's wrong?"
He wrapped his arms around the crimson-haired Uzumaki sighing, "a boy in a man's vest is what's wrong." Then he kissed the crinkly lines of confusion on her forehead. "Let me just hang up my vest, and I'll come to help you with the dishes."
It was Minato's habit to check two pockets of his vest when he hung it up every evening. He reached into the interior to confirm that his precious treasures were indeed where they were supposed to be. In the left pocket were the red tresses he had gathered while following the trail they led him on, that night so many years ago. In the pocket on the right was his team's photo.
He pulled the photo out and smirked at the image of a very sullen, silver-haired boy. At least one good thing had come from today, Minato reassured himself as he tucked the photo away again. He'd been able to track down that copy of "Bansenshukai" in Konoha's archives, and had given it to the person that deserved to have it the most.
Minato's smile grew at the thought of his student carrying it with him, in one of the interior pockets of his jounin vest. And someday, when it was the right day, he'd tell him it had belonged to Sakumo.
The End