Disclaimer: Do I look like I own Vampire Kisses? Didn't think so…it belongs to an author who has inspired me in my writing so much, and her name is Ellen Schreiber.

A/N: Basically a pointless little one-shot. Sebastian is sick and also has a sleepwalking problem. When you put the two together, you get this demented sick story! Please read and review. Enjoy!

Sebastian

Luna Maxwell. The love of my life.

I remember it like it was just yesterday, although it was actually weeks into the past. Luna playing spin the bottle, asking all the snobs for a kiss on the cheek and surprisingly asking me for a kiss…on the neck. I bit her by the crackling flames in front of the entire party. And I fell in love.

Long story short, Luna and I decided to move out of our monster-sized mansions and start the rest of eternity together with a small Transylvanian apartment. Sure, we had money to just burn if we wanted, but we wanted to know what it felt like to not have ridiculously empty space.

We were in the living room, passionately clinging to each other in all ways a vampire could. Then Luna did something she rarely dared to do. Out of spite, she bit me.

Words could not describe how good I felt then. To be the drinkee instead of the drinker. Amazing.

"The sun's about to rise, babe," I struggled to whisper as she sucked my blood. "C-Come…on…"

She pulled her head away and I held my hand on my neck, wiping the dripping blood there. A few trickles of blood were dripping from her lips down to her chin. We stood, and I took her hand and led her upstairs to the bathroom. Delicately, I took a pale pink wash rag (Luna's touch) and gently wiped the blood off her beautiful pale skin.

She smiled up at me with delight, wrapped her lace covered arms around my neck and kissed me. "I love you."

I kissed her back. "Love you, too."

We purposely had the windows boarded up; I didn't want to have to sleep in a closet like Alexander did. Can't we have our bedroom and enjoy it too? Oh and we didn't have a bed, either. We were two vampires living our lives.

The coffin was double-sized, just like I'd always dreamed it would be when I had a vampire mate to be with forever. The inside had various sheets and pillows in black, pink and amethyst. Not to mention it was very comfortable, too.

While Luna was changing into her black lace nightgown, I sat on a loveseat in the corner of the room and thought for a minute. A wave of worry instantly washed over me.

"Sebastian, what's wrong?" Luna asked, coming over to me in her now sexy night…rather, day-wear and putting an arm around me. "You can tell me anything."

"I know, it's just…" I sighed and took a deep breath. "Remember what happened last night?"

"Oh, yeah!" She laughed and I glared at her with fury. "You were sleepwalking!"

"Yeah!" I said sarcastically. "Not funny."

She finished laughing and wiped a tear that accidentally trickled down her cheek from cracking up so much. "Okay, baby…I bet it won't happen again."

"I'm pretty sure it won't…but it was just so freaky, you know?"

She smiled so huge. "Sebastian has a sleepwalking problem!"

She stood and began dancing around like the hot brat she was, sing-songing about how I got up in the middle of the day last night, was wandering around the kitchen and when she found me I was gnawing on a bottle of ketchup.

She must've read my mind, because she said, "You must've thought the ketchup was blood!"

I laughed a fake laugh nervously, tucking a few blonde dreads behind my multi-pierced ear.

"Come on!" She grabbed both of my hands and pulled me out of my seat, tugging my toward the coffin. "I'm cold…keep me warm!"

I smiled and removed my boots, not even bothering to change out of my jeans and settled into the casket, the soft duvet against my arms. It smelled like Luna…delicious. Luna settled in on top of me, resting her hair on my chest. I stroked her back in soothing circles, and despite my anxiety, we both fell asleep in a matter of minutes.

It was probably the middle of the day when I awoke, dry heaving. It felt like something was stuck in my throat, when all I had to eat today was a bloody strip steak and half a bag of Cheetos…the spiral ones. That brings back memories…

I coughed so loud I swore I woke Luna, but she stayed asleep. She really is a heavy sleeper. I began gagging, practically choking on air. I shifted so I was on the other end of the coffin and Luna fell off me and her face hit the pillow…still asleep. I stood up, unaware of where I was going, but I felt really sick.

I walked into the hallway, almost like a zombie, and into the bathroom. I began to hurl, and this time a bloody mess of chunks spilled out of my mouth and into the bathtub. I kept going until it covered the whole floor of the tub.

I stood and wiped my mouth, dizzily heading out of the bathroom and down the stairs to the storage room that also served as a place to do laundry. I had no clue what I was doing or where I was going, all I felt was nausea and vomit creeping it's way back up my throat. I opened the door to the dryer and hurled. When I thought I was finished, I whirled around into the hallway, just in time for me to need to blow again. I stuck my head into the fish tank and let the blood with lumps of steak fat pour into the water, making all our fish swim around in a bloodbath. The scary part was, they flapped their lips as if they were drinking it…vampire fish…haha.

I didn't know how Cheetos and steak could do this to any human, let alone a vampire. I ran in the kitchen, tripping over my feet and was headed face first toward the counter…granite…ouch. My arms flew up over my head and I pulled the coffee can to the floor with me. Just as I opened the can more puke flew out and into the yummy black coffee grounds. It was orange now, so I guess the Cheetos finally caught up with me.

I was feeling instantly better as I placed the coffee can back on the counter. I was really tired, but couldn't go to sleep…it was as if I was already sleeping. I opened the front door to find that the sun had set. Oh, well…Luna likes to sleep late. I thought. I stalked out and sat in the neighbor's lawn mower, turning it on. Hey, I don't know how to work this!

Instead of going back inside like I should to wake up Luna, I drove it off the property and into the street, driving it down the black paved roads at full speed, dodging cars and vampire kiddies on their bikes. I passed by my old mansion that was very close to the Sterling residence. I noticed Mr. and Mrs. Sterling on the front porch, having their evening cup of blood, I suppose. I waved with both hands. "Hey!"

"What the fuck, Sebastian?" Constantine yelled.

"I told Alexander not to hang out with that boy…he's nothing but a drugged up-" Mrs. Sterling was interrupted by the sound of me crashing into a tree, the lawn mower exploding with such force it shot me all the way back to the front lawn of my apartment. It was definitely dark, now.

Luna

After I woke up, I pulled on a sexy black tutu skirt with pink tights layered with black fishnets and a revealing sleeveless black corset and walking down the stairs without shoes on. Sebastian wasn't in the coffin when I woke up, and I began to worry. I checked around the whole house before opening the front door.

"Sebastian?" I called. When I looked down, I spotted him sound asleep on the front lawn. I went out and tapped his shoulder until he opened his eyes. "Sweetie, did you sleepwalk again?"

"Mmm." He mumbled, and I took that as a yes, and helped him into the house. I led him into the living room where he could sit and watch TV while I made breakfast.

I poured water into the coffee pot and started the heat, grabbing the can off the counter.

"Sebastian, do you want some coffee?"

"Sure."

I opened the can and looked into it to check and see how much was left and if I needed to go buy more tonight. Then I saw the most disgusting sight ever. Bright orange chunks spilled all over the coffee grounds.

"Oh, man!" I exclaimed. "Sebastian, this is why we don't buy coffee from the Dollar Store!"

A/N: Welcome to my world. You may be wondering why I even bothered to write something so screwed up in the first place. Well, the other night my brother and I were night swimming and we were joking around, and we began to wonder what it would be like if somebody was puking in their sleep…and alas, my story was formed. Please review. Xoxo, Mrs. Alexander Sterling.