Laid Bare
Disclaimer:- Don't own them just borrowing!
Episode:- The Rambling Boy (07:02)
Pairing:- Robbie /Laura
Rating:- K+
Achieve:- http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/
Summary:- He is my one true love and one day, maybe soon, he'll make my dreams come true until then my heart will continue to beat for him and those stolen moments when I'm sure in his moments of contemplation it is me he thinks of.
Author's Note:- I've already done a couple of stories around this episode but watching it the other day the little scene at the beginning with Laura at the beer garden watching Robbie by the river really struck me so I thought what the heck! In answer to Sarah's Lyrics challenge to write something around the lyric "Cut open my heart and turn on the light Cut open my heart if you like I have nothing to hide." Enjoy and Reviews would be lovely!
I catch sight of him starting in the fading light by the river the contemplation on his face making me wonder what is going through that closed book of a mind of his. The clouds in his eyes, the way he seems lost in a world of his own reminds me that I never seem to be able to break through the shell he has built. I never seem to know what's going on in that head of his. Sometimes when he looks at me I feel like I am the only thing he can focus on, the only person he wants to be with and he just can't work out how to put that into words. Then just as often I look in his eyes and can see nothing but a wall of protection that leaves me bereft and confused. See I do believe he has feelings for me, I do believe he might actually be in one with me, I just don't believe he'll ever be ready to tell me so or to act on those feelings.
For me it's simple if my body lay on a mortuary slab just like the ones I use day in day out and they cut through my heart his name would be etched through it like a stick of seaside rock. On nights like this sitting alone at a table with a drink I don't really want waiting for a man who will never live up to him I realise how pointless it all is. I could do this every night, try to get over him every way I can think off and all it would take would be a glimpse of him like the one I have now and the ridiculousness of it all would stab through my heart as thoroughly as it is at the moment.
In seconds he's gone and the moment he wasn't even aware we were sharing is shattered like so many before it. A friendly wave, a smile that says my date is much happier to see me than I am to see him and the cycle begins again, the cycle of pretending, of trying to convince myself as much as everyone else that I can actually forget about him. I know it's not true though and I know anyone who looked too closely at me would know in an instant. My heart is his and that is something I couldn't hide and find myself wanting to less and less. I'm not ashamed to admit that I feel for him so long ago now that it's laughable that we are still apart, I have nothing to hide when it comes to my desire to be with him. He is my one true love and one day, maybe soon, he'll make my dreams come true until then my heart will continue to beat for him and those stolen moments when I'm sure in his moments of contemplation it is me he thinks of. I will wait until he lets me tell him how much I love him and open my heart leaving me completely at his mercy laid bare in the hope that he will tell me he loves me too and we can finally move on.