Inspired by my own pregnancy woes-ie the physical, grumpiness, icky feelings and etc.
hopefully humorous at times ...and sometimes serious and not my own life for the most part...
I don't own the x-men, Ellanor/Ella is mine..all mine...as well as Ashley and Natalie, rage/David, father Thomas.
muhahahahaha...blah blah blah...pancakes
Blue means positive
You have to be kidding me. No way, uh uh, no comprehendo pee on a stick tests. The line is blue. Blue means I am pregnant. Ha! What a joke!!
Ellanor sat on the toilet seat, staring at the 5th test she had taken in the last 3 hours.
"They're all defective. Thats it. Yeah." she said as she threw it in the trash. She had to pee again before leaving the bathroom for some comfort food. French fries, oily greasy french fries. She drove to the burger king and ordered a large fry and a sandwich with A1 sauce added to it. And an ice cream. She drove, ate the fries, dipping them in mayo, and turned up the radio, so loud that she couldn't even hear herself think. She didn't care at the moment, as she ate away her troubles, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with her body.
She did not want to get fat. She saw the pictures of her mom before she was pregnant and after, and she saw only the chance that she would have a tummy. She did not want to have a tummy. 'I am not pregnant, I am not pregnant' she said over and over again like an ancient mantra, finally calming herself enough to get to the doctors office.
She finished her sandwich and her ice cream that had melted into a pool of choclatelyness and locked the doors, rolled up the windows and went inside to the clinic. Next door a chinese food place sign hung like a sign from above. 'no, must have willpower..ok just a little something.'
She gave in and ordered crab ragoon and 2 shrimp egg rolls, waiting the appropriate time before leaving with food in hand. She walked into the doctors office with a nervous glance.
If anyone said she looked like she was glowing, she was going to drop kick them and make them eat their own poo. She felt alright though as she approached the counter. The woman sat in a mild state of boredom, not caring that she was staring right at her.
What was she so afraid of? She had fought life and death, lost her friends, her family. She had been tortured and done atrocious things to the world over but this was so small a thing, in comparison. She should be afraid of her enemies going to find her at the mansion and killing everyone she loved. She should be afraid her teammates going on missions and never coming back. She shouldn'tbe afraid of being pregnant. She turned and left as soon as she opened her mouth, before she could even speak.
Ellanor left the woman at the counter sightly bewildered at her silent teary onslaught.
She continued to cry until she reached the mansion, and entered the massive gates that seemed to swallow her whole. She ate the crab ragoon and shrimp egg rolls before wiping the tears away, and parked in the garage, walked past the front hall to the professors study.
She didn't even knock as she waltzed in and walked up to the professors desk where he sat in his wheelchair looking over some papers. "Where's Hank? I need to talk to him, and NOW." she said. The professor looked at her with a concerned face and spoke. "Ella whats wrong? You have been crying." "No I haven't..gulp.." "I may not be able to read your mind but I have known you longer then anyone else here, and I know when you have been crying."
"It's personal, I need hank. Like yesterday!" she raised her voice, at the yesterday, and waited with her arms crossed until he stopped looking so..well..shocked.
"Tell him to meet me in the med lab" she said, leaving the professor dumbfounded but nonetheless impressed that her need was great.
When Ella reached the med lab, Scott was waiting outside of the door, with a worried face, and Jean standing beside him both now blocking her way into the door. "You need to tell me whats wrong."Jean said, "We are friends and teammates. You need to trust us." "would you all just LEAVE ME ALONE!!" she said as she walked into the med lab easily pushing them aside, as gently as she could. Bobby sat on one of the beds, nursing a small wound gained during some foolish playtime in the danger room Nothing that kept him from running out of the room as she commanded him to leave though. "What crawled up your ass and died?!" he said as he left faster then she had ever seen him move ever before. she sighed as she slammed the door and closed the blinds to the med lab.
"Hank! I need you.." she found herself in one of the most comforting hugs she had ever felt, and she let it fill her whole being before she started to speak. "I'm..scared Hank. I need you to do a blood test, and keep the results between you and me." "Whats wrong Ella? What are your symptoms? What in heavens name is going on?"
Silence filled the room as she looked up into his eyes with tears brimming, a sob emerging. She tried to stifle it. Snot not so delicately began to dribble out of her nose, but none of that mattered. "I think..I think..I think I might be..pr..pregnant.." she started to sob, small hiccup type sobs as Hank looked at her with the most amusing look on his face mixed with relief. "Oh my stars and garters, thats the best news I think I may have ever heard from your lips." she looked at him and realized how irrationally she had reacted, and realized how scared she felt right now for her teammates. "I am sorry for worrying you and the Professor, everybody..just..can you do the test?"
he hugged her again, and jovially laughed, grateful she wasn't dying, or something equally serious. "Of course. "
...30 agonizing minutes later...
"Lie down on the bed, alright? I need to do an ultrasound. The blood test doesn't seem to be working one bit at all. It's neither negative or positve.You'd think with shi'ar technology we'd be able to analyze your blood, but nothing I cant work on." she laid down and she unbuttoned her pants to reveal her lower abdomen. He poured a goopy blue stuff on her abdomen that was cold and he put the ultrasound machine to work...in less then a minute, he said to her, "So why are you so afraid of being pregnant?"
"I don't know, really, just..." he got a look on his face, of pure utter jubilation. "Ellanor.." "Ye..yeah?"
he smiled at her, "Spit it out hank or I will have to hurt you." he looked bemused more then frightened, pointed a baby-like shape on the screen. She knew before he even said it.
"Ella, you're gonna be a mom."
"This is the baby's head, and the baby's spine, you can see there." he turned on a button on the machine and a whooshing sound filled the room. "Thats the baby's heartbeat. 140. good, strong. Like you." he had tears in his eyes as they looked at the ultrasound screen together, she cried for joy. "I would have to say you are about 11 weeks. You passed most of your first trimester.."
All of a sudden the door banged down onto the floor, and Jean and Scott, Ororo, the professor, everyone stood at the door. They looked at the ultrasound screen as the baby began to move around, and kicked causing the whooshing to create a bigger whooshing sound, and it went back to the regalur whooshing sound.
"OH MY GOD!!YOURE ..." Jean sobbed and hugged her, and talked excitedly in a rush and the room filled with all the people who cared for her the most.
...
She kept dreaming she was standing in a room and everywhere there were screaming, smelly, babies who seemingly, wanted her. She had no maternal instincts, not yet at least and she didn't even know how to tell the father..another man in blue who wore a priests habbat, that she was pregnant.
By now he must know, she thought, as she sat on the bed in her large room at the mansion. By now he must be angry with her. It explained the vomiting, and the general tiredness, and the reason she had a unnerving craving for meat-red meat that is, and steak cooked almost to the point where there was no pink, and she wanted A-1 sauce poured over everything. And fried food in general.
But it didn't help the reality check come in when she realized what her life had been all about-fighting. The sudden arrival of fear of dying in combat and leaving a son or daughter behind, like her own mother did, though not in combat, but still the loss had been felt like she had been murdered when she had only been driving too fast and didn't see the oncoming car on her right side...no, these thoughts were not the right thoughts, and she had been taught as a child, that what she thinks manifests itself, into our dreams and eventually into our lives.
Hopefully a room full of screaming babies wouldn't manifest itself, among other things.
After the shock finally had left her, except for the small moments of "oh my god I'm pregnant" she did alright. She found her peace in the little things...shopping. She began to look at the baby section in Macy's. She found herself looking at the pink outfits, the decorations. She began to clean like something possessed her also so when she started on the baby's room there was the sinking feeling that everything was changing. She didn't even know if the baby was a he or a she yet. She didn't even know how to talk to curt
...
Kurt had been sitting in the front pew of the cathedral of St. Peter's in New York, when he had received the text from Jean, telling him Ella was freaking out and locked her and Hank in the med lab He couldn't pull away from his duties. He had a service to do for the mutant community in less then 1 hour. He felt like teleporting and helping, but something told him to stay. He and Ella hadn't spoken more then a sentence to each other since the battle a little over 2 months ago. Part nerves, part fear, part everything. They had both been so sure that this was the end, and they stole away, damaged, bloody and held each other, made love and when the smoke cleared and they were still living, there was a sense of joy, and fear. And for Kurt, a shame in losing hope. There was no shame for the act but both adults were nervous wrecks when they had to work together, train together. Ella had been feeling ill, so the time they spent together was lessening. He had feared something truly wrong with her. The legacy virus, every other disease, made him fear.
Then he got the text just before the service began. She was pregnant. He did the service in shock, not knowing what to do, or say when he talked to her again. He knew it was his, the timing, the illness. Why did it never cross his mind? He thanked god it wasn't the legacy virus, and felt a sense of joy fill his heart and mind but also the thought of "why now?" .
...
Ella sat on her bed. It had only been 2 weeks since she found out. She had entered the 2nd trimester and she felt overwhelmed. How do you get ready for a baby? Clothes, a bed, diapers..more diapers.
Butt cream, Bottles and burping oh my...
She was convinced this was happening for a reason. It had to be. For all the years she had been promiscuous, all the people she had been with when she had been on the road, she was pregnant now. For all the experiments and the pain she had went through, she was going to be a mom. She felt a growing love and waistband, and a good excuse to go shopping. She felt like she was finally in the middle of the storm, waiting for the quiet to end. What about Kurt? She wasn't even sure how to handle the whole, "hey you're a priest and I'm pregnant by you" stuff.
No one asked her who the father was. Either that or she tuned them out whenever they asked so that it seemed like no one asked. Her jeans were getting too tight, and she wore her black spandex pants around the mansion. You could tell she had either spent some time at a buffet or she was pregnant. About the only good thing as far as she could tell was that her chest was growing, and she was sore. She felt absolutely huge already. Thats when she found out.
She had reached the point where her teammates would look at her and say "looks like you're having double the trouble". She would sneer at them in response then verbally remind them that she could still kick all their butts and would if they didn't shut up.
They didn't And when Hank did another ultrasound the screen showed not one but two babies. One had been hiding behind the other in the first ultrasound. Everyone was excited. The first X-baby, kinda, and then the X-babies. Peter in his comical sense of humor drew two babies in the old yellow and blue spandex outfits to say congratulations She went shopping again for maternity jeans.
She had driven herself in her sports car, wondering if she would have to get a bigger car, but for the moment tried to keep those thoughts at bay. She wore a black skirt and red top. Her curves were obvious though she tried to hide them. Her tummy was pouched out and she looked like she was more then the 4 months that she was. She consoled herself on chinese greasier then all hell and coffee before she even entered the department store.
She found herself in the baby department when she was looking at a mixture of boys and girls clothing and was holding two newborn sleepers, one pink and one blue...blue like the ocean. The dark blue reminded her of Kurt's skin/fur, the pink was light and soft, gentle. There was a matching teddy bear on each. She had almost set them down when she felt it. Two light kicks.. gas from chinese? No.
This was.. It happened again. She began to cry a little as she knew that she had felt her babies kick for the first time. She put the outfits in the shopping cart, and moved onto maternity clothing. She tried on more pants and found cute shirts worth the purchase. She paid for her clothes which filled 5 bags and left feeling quite fulfilled.
Now she had to do the next thing.
...
It was a beautiful fall day, and the church had leaves scattered from outside in the hall way. The church was almost empty except for the first few pews where a few sat scattered and praying before service. Unsure of what to do, she walked into the church and sat in the middle, farthest back. She wasn't the only one who was pregnant here, she realized as she looked around. There was also children sitting, quietly playing as they watched their parents pray and meditate on whatever people in a church spent time thinking about. Each person was here because nowhere else would accept them, nowhere else in the city nearby was a church that would allow the congregation of mutants. The church was a safe place for them, and even the anti-mutant protesters left the church alone for the most part.
Her thoughts wandered to Kurt once more.
What would she say to him, and what was she doing here anyways? She stood and almost reached the end of the pew when Kurt came out and she sat once again. He hadn't seen her. She sighed as he began the homily and listened when he began to preach about peace and living a moral life, as best as one could.
He spoke about how you could do good for your neighbors and friends, your family, when everything around you seemed bad. How you had to find your own peace within your faith and accept yourself and be patient. It was a good sermon. Kurt was a bit long winded as such but she had never also been able to sit for long periods of time.
When the service ended she felt glued to the pew, and she leaned forward. Her tears were rolling down her face. He was such a good person and the people really loved him. She didn't want to take him from his life he had built away from the X-men anymore then she wanted to admit that she needed him-not only as a friend but as her lover, and someday her husband. She had always loved him, desperately.
With Logan there was animal lust, wild abandon, but had been more then a year since they had ended their lustful get togethers and traded them for combat training, which hadn't been as difficult as it was right now. She wiped the tears off her face and looked up. The church was empty except for her and Kurt.
He stood nearby, waiting, watching. He approached her when he saw her look up.
"Kurt...I.." he sat down beside her and put his arms around her, and they sat like that for awhile, calm for the most part except when the tears threatened to turn to sobs. "I'm scared too, Ellanor. Not to be a father, but because he or she will be a child of two X-men. We are in the midst of battle too much to not wonder if there will come a day when one of us doesn't come home."
"I think about my mom and dad a lot Kurt They were just ordianry for the most part, not dad so much but mom..she was killed so easily. She died so suddenly, and it...she.." Ella wiped her nose on a tissue she had in her pocket and spoke again. "Yes we are X-men, but we are human also. We are living because god, whatever it is up there wanted us to live. All this time, all these years and after the experiments. Kurt, I just want to be happy, and have my children raised in a world where we aren't feared or unwanted, where we don't have to be afraid to maybe have to bury the person we love.." she stopped and looked at him.
He smiled at her. He loved her too, but his heart until this time had been consumed by fear that she didn't love him back.
"Ellanor Renee Hollam, will you marry me?" he asked before he could stop himself. His heart was beating so fast, so quickly, and he felt a love greater then he had ever felt before fill his being when she replied, "If you will have me, I'm all yours...yes, Kurt."
They embraced as they sat and held each other for awhile until Father Thomas snuck up beside them.
"Hello Kurt, Hello Ellanor."
Father Thomas smiled at them and sat in the pew ahead of them. Ella and Kurt continued to hold each others hand but beyond that were both so scared that neither knew what he would say.
Father Thomas was a very tolerant, wise priest who had been in the service of God since he had been old enough to walk. He had been raised in a parish foster home in the 50's and had felt Gods call on his life since he was a boy. He smiled as he looked at Ella and then at curt "Congratulations, my friend. A priest can only be father to his parishioners but a father can be the continuing changing force of good
and you will be an excellent father. However.."
"They will no longer allow me to practice the priesthood I am aware. Saddened but.." "You are a leader to the people who come to hear the word of god, a fine leader and this church wont lose you. You wont be able to be a full fledged priest but you can still inspire the masses here. Would you by chance be getting married?"
They sat in a stunned happy silence for a moment before she responded this time, "yes, we are father. He asked me..a few minutes ago." The priest smiled and stood and bent down to hug them, telling them congratulations and after a little while they went their separate ways leaving Ella in the passenger side seat and Kurt driving to the nearest jewelry store, as a surprise for her.
"Lets make this official." he said as he made sure his image inducer was working properly. He looked like himself just no blue, and she smiled wondering if her children would be as handsome as he was, blue or no blue.
He wondered if the children would be as beautiful as her. They walked in the store together, surrounded by the sparkling diamonds and gossamer pearls, the rubies, and necklaces too beautiful to wear any time but at your own wedding. They were greeted by a jewelry store clerk, who was obviously looking for money to be spent.
"I am looking for an engagement ring, for my finance'." he said happily and she led them to simple bands and such. Ella's ring finger was sized and she smiled at him, as he began to look around and she looked at the different jewelry. Pearls and diamonds, earrings..she found a pair of earrings she liked and the other clerk helped her purchase them, along with a matching necklace, simple yet elegant
Kurt came beside her as she put the earrings in her ears and he put a necklace around her neck. It was a pair of rings entwined together, diamonds sparkled at her. She hadn't even noticed it. She smiled,"Oh Kurt..."
"I'm not done yet. C'mom lets go home." he said interrupting her. She smiled at him and took her bag, and they drove to her home in Westchester, where she deposited her bags and found curt holding her, his image inducer off, and devilishly handsome as ever. "Hold on Ella." she nodded as he smiled and teleported them to the spot it all began.
He took a box out of his of his coat and opened it and got on his knees. She extended her hand, in shock. She thought the pair of ring necklace was her engagement gift. She saw the diamond, a simple yet elegant princess cut.
They stood in the rubble they had been rescued from, where the babies were conceived She began to tear up as he said, "A ring only as beautiful as the woman who receives it, only as beautiful so that her beauty is never out shown, her kindness and love not overshadowed." he stood and kissed her, they kissed and softly the wind blew around them, gently it seemed to give her the courage to give him her gift. He hadn't been expecting anything. She pulled a ring out of her pocket, a single silver band, and on the inside was written the words she knew from heart.
(Do below in japanese)
"I choose you, beloved husband" she paused and looked in his eyes and placed the ring on his finger out to the left, as he only had two and one thumb, and began to speak again.
"It was my fathers engagement ring, given to her by her father-my grandfather, its in hiragana and means I choose you, my beloved".
"I choose you, my beloved, as well. I have loved you for so long and watched in vain as you loved others, and suffered only because I feared I could never find someone to love me as much as I love you. This is miracle, and these babies in you, are a miracle too. You are my miracle, for I have prayed for you for so long. I only want you to be happy, and now that we are finally together as we should have always been we can make the world a better place for all mutants, and humans as we have been doing for what feels like a milenia, but also now for our children."
She smiled and wiped the tears away before kissing him and sharing a moment of peace before they teleported back to her home and found themselves wound up in each others arms, passion taking over. They spent the time together just being happy and eventually fell asleep. All Ella wore as she slept was the diamond ring he had given her and the necklace he had given her. Her earrings she took out because she only wanted to wear his gifts to her. He had loved her body until neither could go on without pure exhaustion taking over. Now he laid beside her, one arm holding her closely, the other hand touching her stomach and thanking god for this gift.