I usually don't write funny stories because I don't pull them off too well. I'm more of a serious writer. However this idea has been around in my head for a long while. I started this off for another TV show, but decided to change it up once I saw 'Burned'. (Where Kensi was complaining to Sam and Callen about bad pick up lines.)

Mild Kensi/Nate pairing.

WARNING! This is rated M for VERY bad language and implied sexual content.

This would take place after the season 1 finale. (Very mild spoilers.) I hope you get a chuckle out of this even if you think it's stupid. (I hope you don't). I could see this happening with the team even though it may be slightly OOC to some.

Oh yeah, standard issue blah, blah don't own them, don't sue me, yadda, yadda...

So here goes…

-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-NCIS-

It had been an absolute horrible few weeks. Losing two agents, having the identity of every undercover operative in NCIS compromised, the ops center being taken off line, the list just went on.

So when the idea was brought up (nobody could really remember who started it) to have a night out for the whole team, Hetty included, everyone jumped at the chance. It started out as a way to honor their fallen comrades, but quickly went downhill and ended up with everyone totally bombed.

**NCIS**

Sam and Callen walked into the bar and spotted Nate and Kensi seated at a large corner table. Callen swore he saw Nate holding Kensi's hand before he spotted the two of them. He smiled to himself. Poor Nate, he had no idea what he was getting himself into. Nate and Kensi were already working on their first beers as Callen went to get one for himself and Sam. Sam sat down just as Eric walked in. Eric got a drink and the five of them sat for a few minutes just chatting.

Kensi saw Callen watching the waitress as she walked past the table and decided to be evil.

"So Callen, why don't you go 'run game' on her? You're staring hard enough."

Callen smiled. "Nah, not my type."

"Oh really? She's breathing isn't she?"

Sam choked on his beer and Eric laughed.

"I would hope Mr. Callen has slightly better standards that that Ms. Blye," came Hetty's voice from behind Callen.

Callen smiled as Hetty pulled up a chair. "Why thank you Hetty. Just for that, your first drink is on me."

After getting a drink for Hetty, Callen proposed a toast in remembrance of Dom and Macy. Everyone raised their glasses and responded with 'here, here' and drank to their fallen friends.

A short while later, they ordered their second round and Kensi decided it was time to liven things up as she watched the waitress walk away from their table.

"You know Callen, I think she likes you."

Callen gave her a look. "What?"

"She's checking you out."

He shrugged as everyone laughed.

"Okay, I've got an idea," Kensi announced.

"Uh-oh, I don't like it when Kensi has ideas. It gets scary real fast," Callen said.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Shut up G." She continued to address the rest of the group. "Let's see who can come up with the worst pick up line ever."

A round of groans was heard as Kensi smiled brightly. "Oh come on it will be fun! And to make it even better, you have to do a shot before you use your line."

Before anyone could protest, Kensi jumped up and headed towards the bar.

Nate shook his head. "You know it's no use trying to talk her out of it."

They continued to complain amongst themselves and didn't notice Kensi talking with their waitress.

A few minutes later, Kensi returned to the table with a tray holding a dozen shots of tequila, a bowl of lime slices and some salt.

"Okay, so here are the rules. For each round, we have one judge. We'll start with Hetty as our first judge and work around the table. You do your shot then come up with the worst line you can think of. The judge picks the person with the absolute worst and they have to do an extra shot. Nothing is against the rules. You can be as horrible as you want. Oh, and if you go to the bathroom you have to give us a line when you come back to the table."

"Why do I get the feeling you are going to win at this Kenz?" Callen sighed.

"Since you are to the right of Hetty, you get to go first Callen." She smiled sweetly at him.

"Fine," Callen grumbled. He finished his shot then thought for a moment. He smiled then looked at Kensi. "If I followed you home would you keep me?"

Kensi giggled and the others groaned.

Callen elbowed Sam. "Okay Mac Daddy, it's your turn."

Sam did his shot then smiled as he looked at Hetty. "Didn't I see your picture in the dictionary under 'kablaam'?"

"That was really awful Mr. Hannah," Hetty laughed.

Without a prompt, Kensi slammed down her shot and turned to Nate. "Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?"

Nate turned red as everyone laughed.

"Come on Doc, give us your best line," Callen laughed.

Nate hesitated a bit before he did the shot then sat for a few seconds. He cleared his throat. "Are you into Karate? Cause your body is kickin'."

Eric started laughing. "Come on Nate, that's from a commercial. Not very original."

Nate smiled. "Then let's hear what you can do."

Eric did his shot then leaned back all casual like and looked at Kensi. "So, is it safe to say I'm going to score?"

Everyone laughed and Kensi shook her head. "Dream on genius."

Hetty cleared her throat. "Okay people, I have made my decision. While everyone was utterly awful, I think Mr. Getz has to pay for his lack of imagination."

Everyone cheered, except Nate of course. Nate sighed and picked up another shot. He made a face as he downed the tequila then sucked on the lime.

"Mr. Callen, I believe it is your turn to judge," Hetty said as Callen took a swig of his beer.

He nodded. "Okay, bring it on. Sam, you get to start this time."

Sam did his shot and looked at Kensi this time. "Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package."

Nate choked on his beer and Callen laughed like a fool.

Not to be outdone, Kensi did her shot and replied back to Sam. "I was thinking of volunteering at the fire department, can I practice sliding down your pole?"

Sam blushed as Eric whistled.

Nate did his shot then leaned over and started fiddling with the collar at the back of Kensi's shirt. "Nate, what are you doing?"

"Just checking your label. Yep, just what I thought. Made in heaven."

Sam groaned and Callen shook his head. "You got that from A Night at the Roxbury. Come on Nate, get creative."

Eric did his shot and looked at Hetty. "So, do you like cheesy lines or do you just want to do it?"

Hetty shook her head and did her own shot then replied to Eric. "Hi there, know how to use a whip?"

Everyone laughed as Eric turned bright red.

"All right, since Nate still hasn't gotten the hang of the art of pick up lines, he drinks again," Callen announced.

After doing another shot, Nate knew he was in for a long night.

"We need another round," Kensi stated and waved at the waitress. She ordered another tray of shots and another round of beers.

The waitress brought the drinks back to the table and put them down. She then turned to Callen and smiled sweetly. "You know, your eyes are as blue as window cleaner," she stated then walked away leaving Callen confused as everyone laughed.