This was written for my lovely, charming beta The Laughing Phoenix for all the hard work she's done to whip my writing into shape.
Satisfaction Brought It Back
Yoruichi smiled, wicked and slow as she watched Byakuya begin his practice. Sword work was still a novelty these days for Byakuya, or so Yoruichi thought, and just the idea of being able to practice with his sword was interesting enough for him. Soon enough he'd realize that he'd be spending years upon years perfecting the skills of a Shinigami, and it would only be then that he'd prove his perseverance.
Yoruichi had to admit that he was still showing a surprising amount of energy. It was the first time she'd seen him practicing for herself, though he'd started training earlier in the year. She'd been on the roof for nearly half an hour, and his pace hadn't slackened one iota, though he'd had to have been out in the hot sun for several hours by this point. He'd bound up his hair, but a few loose strands had fallen down and were currently plastered to his neck and across his forehead. She smirked as he finished his set of strikes and let his practice sword fall, wiping a hand cross his sweaty skin. He was breathing heavily, but he looked pleased with himself, pleased with the work he'd done.
Yoruichi leaped down from the roof she'd been lounging on, escaping from her house and her duties, and landed silently beside Byakuya. He caught sight of her from the corner of his eye and reared back, startled.
"You shouldn't let your guard down!" she mocked as she winked, using a little shunpo to get to his other side faster than his eyes could currently follow.
Byakuya made another undignified noise of surprise, temper flaring as he swung his sword at her in a moment of irritation. She moved out of the way with ease, and Byakuya reversed his grip with surprising speed and swung at her again. It seemed the kid had a certain natural talent. Yoruichi had been raised on tricks like that, however, and dodged once more. As she slipped by him, she pulled at his hair tie, making his dark tresses fall around his face.
"Yoruichi!" he complained instantly, temper making a set of roses bloom in his pale cheeks. He brushed his hair out of his face, frowning at her. "Give that back!" He demanded hotly.
"Not until you can take it back yourself," Yoruichi reprimanded him, raising an eyebrow. "What's the point of me taking it if I'm just going to give it back? What does that teach you?" Yoruichi attempted to look serious and wise, but ruined it by bursting out into laughter at the expression on her cousin's face.
"Thief!" Byakuya yelled wildly, abandoning all attempts with the sword in hopes of bodily tackling her. Laughing even more, Yoruichi blew him a kiss and winked, making Byakuya shout even louder.
"You're going to disturb your elders," Yoruichi chided, lightly dancing around all of Byakuya's attacks.
"I'll send them to you," Byakuya threatened.
Yoruichi sighed theatrically, shaking her head sadly. "I deal with the Shihoin Elders all the time. They're as bad as the Kuchikis, if not worse, so that's not very much of a threat. Besides, do you really think they're going to come and tell me off over a hair tie?" She dangled said hair tie in front of Byakuya's face. He snatched at it, but Yoruichi had already pulled it out of his grasp, having anticipated the move. "Well, before your yelling brings the complex down around our ears, I'll be on my way." She winked and smirked, leaping to the roof.
Byakuya bellowed empty threats into the air, but Yoruichi was long gone, hair tie still in hand.
"Tsukabishi-san!" Yoruichi greeted with a broad smile, movements smooth and practiced as she greeted him. "It's so nice to see you again!" Tsukabishi smiled gently in return, bowing to her. Yoruichi waved it away, saying, "We studied together at the Academy. We don't need to stand on ceremony." A retainer cleared his throat, and Yoruichi's face darkened a little. She glared at him briefly, and said retainer flushed. "Well, we should probably keep it brief. What can I do for you?"
Tsukabishi cleared his throat. "Greetings, Shihoin-sama. Thank you for taking the time to see me on such short notice."
"Yoruichi-san, please," Yoruichi said with a wince. "And it wasn't a problem. What did you need?"
"As I'm sure you know, Shihoin-sama," Tsukabishi answered, causing Yoruichi to roll her eyes in frustration, "the Shihoin family has an extensive library. Since I am in the process of studying for my Kidou Mastery, I had hoped to avail myself of your library for the next two years as an outside source that may have some texts that even the Academy does not for my research."
Yoruichi nodded, becoming more serious, slipping effortlessly into her role as head of the Onmitsukido and Shihoin family. She thought carefully for a few moments, eyes distant. "I see no reason why you could not, assuming that you are willing to follow several rules. Of course, no copies could be made of the texts without explicit permission from the Shihoin family. There are some restricted texts that you wouldn't be able to see at all. Inform us which texts you will be citing, so that they may be approved. In addition, all texts must remain in the Shihoin house, so if you want to use the library, you'll have to stay here. What specifically are you studying?"
"My work is primarily focused on barrier spells, on adjusting barriers that have already been established, to form a more flexible and fluid way of using kidou, instead of using single or even stacked barriers," Tsukabishi reported calmly.
Yoruichi raised an eyebrow, looking interested. "Have you had any success with it so far?"
"Of course. The trick appears to be using the pattern of the previous kidou in the new one, which requires a certain amount of improvisational kidou work that not everyone is suited to."
Yoruichi nodded, becoming even more interested in his research and its possibilities, especially if she could adapt his research for herself. "That sounds like it could have extensive applications, especially in the 2nd division. If you're willing to keep us updated on your research, and to give us a copy of your findings, as well as follow the previously mentioned rules, I see no reason why you can't use the library. I'll arrange for a set of rooms for you here, and I hope that when you're in residence, you'll be willing to join me for dinner when you can. I'd hate for you to get sucked into our library and never emerge. Scholarly types tend to get so lost in their work," she teased with a grin.
Tsukabishi didn't so much as twitch at the playful tone, once more nodding respectfully, unperturbed by Yoruichi's attitude. Yoruichi grinned more a little at that, immediately resolving to find a way to ruffle the man's feathers, just to see if she could. Tsukabishi looked like he knew what she was thinking, and raised an eyebrow, daring her to follow through.
Well, she had never been able to resist a challenge.
Yoruichi didn't like to think of herself as someone that deliberately made the lives of other people difficult. Well, not if they didn't deserve it, at any rate. If they did deserve it, she was fully capable of making their lives as miserable as she saw fit, and then some, just for good measure.
Even so, she was only human. And thus, she occasionally went out of her way to practice her skills on her subordinates.
She told herself that she was just trying to keep them on their toes.
Though, if she kinda liked it when they started, exclaiming, "Shihoin-sama!" with that look of perfect surprise on their faces, well, that was just an unexpected plus.
Without fail, she regularly managed to startle everyone under her command or in her employ. Except for one- a young under-gardener that had to be her own age, a slight blond-haired teen that had never been able to say more than a few words in her presence. Whenever she attempted to sneak up on him, he always managed to sense her- how, Yoruichi didn't know- in time to turn to her, attending to her every desire. Her speed may surprise him, her power, certainly, but he always knew it was her, always knew when she was coming, even if her she arrived much faster than he expected. Even if she was careful to make not a single sound as she approached as she'd been trained, he'd still managed to turn and bow just as she came into view every time, without fail.
His name was Urahara Kisuke, and he was just the sort of curiosity that Yoruichi found most interesting.
Yoruichi had started out bluntly, simply asking the man what he was doing. However, when asked directly, he had no way of describing how he knew it was her beyond simply stating, in that mildly apologetic voice he always used, "I just know that it's Shihoin-sama."
Yoruichi didn't buy it, of course, and thus the experimentation started. She suspected that Urahara was sensing her reiatsu, even if he didn't know that it was her spiritual energy that he was sensing. She wondered how no one had managed to put it together before, but she knew it was most likely because she was the first person of the Shihoin family to show more than a passing interest in the people in her employ for more than five centuries, at least. Either way, if Urahara was sensing her reiatsu, then that was an indication that Urahara might have some real power, maybe even enough to get him into the Shinigami Academy. Therefore, it was her duty to find out the extent of his talents.
To test her theory, she devised a series of experiments where she would approach him with varying levels of reiatsu present. Even the merest trickle attracted his attention, which made Yoruichi smile. He was sensitive then, sensitive enough that he was attuned to even so small an amount of power. The final stage of her experimentation involved her completely concealing her reiatsu, so that not even the merest hint of a hint leaked out.
"Urahara-san!" Yoruichi called, gleeful, after she'd been standing behind him for a full two minutes without him giving so much as a single signal that he realized that his mistress was currently waiting behind him. It was just as she had suspected.
With a cry, the gardener turned and tripped over his own two feet, landing on the ground in a graceless sprawl that had Yoruichi laughing despite herself at the man's shocked expression. She'd never seen Urahara surprised before, hadn't so much as seen him anything less than fully composed, albeit incredibly shy and timid, and it was a novelty that she believed wouldn't wear off for a while.
"S-Shi-Shihoin-sama!" The man stammered from his prone position. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you there! Forgive me!" He scrambled into a bow, red flush spreading over his high cheekbones, painting his face a surprisingly appealing shade of red.
"Oh, it's not your fault," Yoruichi waved his apologies away, "I was just testing a theory. Congratulations, you passed!" She smiled broadly.
"Thank you?" Urahara said blankly, blinking up at her. It was clear he had no idea what she was talking about, once again reinforcing her belief that he either didn't realize what he was doing or thought it was only natural. This was confirmed as Urahara continued with a hesitant, "Um, excuse me Shihoin-sama, but passed what?"
"Call me Yoruichi-san," Yoruichi said with a wave of her hand. "And you've passed my test. I've suspected for a while that you've got some real power, like the Shinigami do, and have been testing that little theory for the last couple of weeks. And you do indeed seem to have some higher spiritual power. Congratulations!" She grinned at him.
Urahara's eyes grew comically wide, and he seemed unsure how to tell the head of the Shihoin house that she was off-her-rocker crazy. It was clear that Urahara didn't believe a word that she'd said. Unable to find of a polite way to phrase it, Urahara simply nodded instead, and said, "Of course, Shihoin-sama. Now, if you don't need me for anything…" he trailed off meaningfully, looking at the area of the garden that was in dire need of some weeding.
Yoruichi huffed out a breath at the anti-climactic response. "Leave that," Yoruichi said, rolling her eyes and propping on hand on her hip and grabbing his wrist with her other. "And come with me. You've got better things to do than worry about greenery for the moment."
"But greenery is what Shihoin-sama pays me to worry about," Urahara informed her patiently, as though he was explaining a particularly simple idea to a child unable to grasp it. With ease, Urahara twisted his wrist out of her grip, and Yoruichi raised her eyebrows. Clearly her gardener had some hidden depths. The idea only pleased her more, so much so that she almost missed what Urahara said next. "And if I don't have these beds done by the end of the day, Mikon-san will be very displeased. Forgive me for saying so, but when Mikon-san is displeased, everyone knows it."
Yoruichi sighed, impatient. "If Mikon-san complains, just send her to me. I'll deal with her. Besides, who is the head of this household? Do you really think that I can't handle her?" There was a beat of silence, and Yoruichi said with a mocking slowness, "What do you think you should do now."
Urahara weighed Yoruichi's words with an almost comic seriousness. "I think that I should follow you, Shihoin-sama."
"Wise choice, my dear gardener."
"I like to think so," Urahara retorted with surprising speed. Then, in a weaker voice, he continued, "What exactly do you want with me though?"
Yoruichi looked Urahara up and down once, a slow and wicked smile spreading across her face. "You and I are going to…experiment some more," she purred. "If you really do have Shinigami powers, before I recommend your entrance into the Academy, it's only fair that I know what sort of…skills, you have," she finished, placing ever so slight an emphasis on the word 'skills'.
Urahara once again turned that lovely shade of red, and Yoruichi grinned outright, leading him into the house.
"Seriously!" Yoruichi complained, lounging on the porch as Byakuya practiced still more sword strokes. "What does Great Uncle Ginrei-sama do to control the pit of vipers you call the Kuchiki family?"
Yoruichi waited for the inevitable explosion, but Byakuya just raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to specify her complaint. Yoruichi sighed and pouted; it seemed that her days spent teasing Byakuya until he cracked and chased her all across the complex where, if not already long gone, certainly numbered.
"They think that the fact that I actually greet people who are not of noble caste and bearing, do it with a pleasant expression, and actually mean it when I treat them kindly, is heralding the end of the Shihoin family. Overbearing assholes. Too bad, they're out of luck- so long as I don't betray the family or reveal too many secrets, they can't actually get rid of me, only do what they can to limit my actions."
"Then what are you complaining about if they can't do anything?" Byakuya asked. "If they can't do anything, then there's no point in worrying about it." He spared a long-suffering glance for her, then said, "And I don't know what you expect me to do about your family."
Yoruichi frowned. It seemed that in addition to controlling his temper at least a little, Byakuya had also become more philosophical since the last time she'd seen him. She wasn't entirely sure that she liked the change, if she was going to be perfectly honest. Yoruichi already dearly missed the days when they would commiserate over the various obligations that their respective families had forced on them, chafing at the burdens for all that they saw that they alone could lead their families where other would fail.
"That's all you've got to say?" she challenged, sitting up and staring intently at Byakuya.
Byakuya looked at her from over his shoulder. "What is it you expect me to say?"
Yoruichi glared at him, frustrated and furious, but Byakuya stoically ignored it. Well, two can play at that game…Yoruichi stood smoothly and used shunpo to get behind Byakuya. Immediately Byakuya moved to get out of her way, as years of practice had alerted him to exactly what Yoruichi was after. He was not nearly as fast as Yoruichi was, however, and was unable to prevent her from tugging his hair tie out, letting his black hair once again fall around his face.
"Yoruichi!" Byakuya bellowed, immediately starting the chase. "Give that back, you devil cat!"
As Yoruichi raced away, she thought to herself smugly, Yup, I've still got it.
Tsukabishi sat quietly in the library, flipping through the pages of one enormous and ancient volume of kidou as Yoruichi paced behind him impatiently, muttering under her breath. One in three words was some sort of curse or insult directed at the elders of the Shihoin family.
"I'm sick of it!" Yoruichi hissed as she lashed out, landing a blow on the wood of the table. She had just enough restraint to keep it from breaking, but it nearly tipped the inkwell over. Tsukabishi gave her a severe look, righting the inkwell before it could spread ink everywhere and returned to his work.
"Sorry," Yoruichi muttered under her breath. "But you can't seriously blame me! There's no way in hell that I'm going to allow them to box me out like this! My father and his father and his father before him were both Captains of the Second Division and did their duties for the Gotei 13 as well as Onmitsukido, and not a word was said against them!"
Tsukabishi nodded absentmindedly, flipping through to the next chapter.
"And I have as good a success rate as either of them, and I'm only half the age that they started at! Clearly I'm better at this than they are, so why do they keep attempting to turn me into miniature versions of them? In my last ten missions, not a single person died, dammit! But of course they don't care about that, they just want the results in the most efficient way possible. It doesn't matter that I got everyone and the information out last time; all they care about is the fact that the alarm was raised while we were doing it! It doesn't matter that we were long gone by the time they actually woke up and made an effort to figure out what was going on!" Yoruichi made another frustrated sound, though this time she resisted the urge to slam a fist to the table.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore!" Yoruichi yelled, but the words seemed to drain her of her remaining energy and she perched on the table, legs swinging idly as she tried to restrain her temper. "What do you think, Tsukabishi-san?"
Before he had so much as the opportunity to look up from his book, let alone offer any real advice, Yoruichi began idly doing handstands on the table, keeping a close eye on the inkwell as she began speaking again. "Yeah, I guess the only thing for it is to prove it. If I compile my success rate compared to how long I've been in charge, surely they'll have to believe the hard results. Well, maybe not. I mean, when I mentioned them today, they blew me off."
Yoruichi tilted her head, something that Tsukabishi found vaguely disconcerting considering she was still performing a handstand. "No, Tsukabishi-san, you're right. That's not the way to handle it at all. In fact, I think that I've maybe been going around this the wrong way. I need to stop approaching this as a matter between my father and I, and start bringing retainers into it. It was Himura-san's nephew that I saved. Maybe I can persuade Himura-san to view me as something they want to keep around, if only for the fact that I have one of the lowest death rates for missions in the history of the Shihoin so far. The men and women I'm working with now have fathers and aunts and so on that worked with my father and grandfather. If I persuade them, then there isn't a whole lot my father can say, because it'll be him and a handful of his stodgiest supporters against everyone else. They'll have to bow out gracefully and leave me be, at least until they can find something else to try and weaken my platform and instate one of my boorish male cousins with."
Yoruichi did an elegant flip off the table and back onto the floor, landing gracefully on her feet. "Thanks, Tsukabishi. You always know exactly what I need to hear. Thanks for being so great at giving advice." Without so much as a backward glance, Yoruichi stalked out of the library, ready to put her plan into action.
Tsukabishi just sighed, shaking his head, and returned his attention to the books.
"Marriage!" Yoruichi roared, and she took a vase that she knew happened to be a favorite of her father's and flung it as hard as she could at the opposite wall. She'd thrown the object hard enough that the wall was cracked now, and the vase itself was not so much in shards as a fine powder. Yoruichi couldn't find it in her to care, and looked around the room for more ammunition. "Asshole!" she seethed as she threw the next item, decorative…well, she wasn't entirely sure what it was, but it was metal and made a satisfying sound when it collided with the opposite wall, and for now it was enough.
When she'd caused all the destruction she could, Yoruichi surveyed the damage and sighed a little, running a hand through her hair. She wiped away a bead of sweat from her forehead and stalked out of the room without so much as a backward glance, shutting the door firmly behind her. Of course, so focused was she on the news her father had delivered and the subsequent destruction of some of his favorite objects that she hardly realized that she wasn't alone; as a result, she ran directly into Urahara.
Yoruichi yelped, dodging him on instinct, but not before she had entangled herself with his limbs. Both of them landed on a heap on the floor. With a growl, Yoruichi shoved Urahara off her and stood again, anger abruptly flaring once more. She opened her mouth and- a friend or not- prepared to flay Urahara alive with only the skill of words.
"Marriage, huh?" Urahara said into that charged silence with a diffident grin.
Yoruichi was momentarily non-plussed, staring at Urahara in shock. Her mind scrambled, trying to figure out exactly how he'd discovered that. She hadn't told anyone, was reasonably sure he hadn't found out from another member of the Shihoin family, as they were notoriously close-lipped, nor had her security for the meeting in question been anything less than perfect. She was so frazzled, in fact, that it was a full minute of thinking before she remember her earlier epithets, shouted in a pique of frustration; Urahara waited patiently for her to put it all together, the slightest hint of sorrow coloring his expression.
"You were listening!" she accused when she finally managed to pull herself together, stabbing one finger at him, then wanted to smack herself for saying something so obvious and ridiculous.
Urahara raised one elegant brow, sardonic grin growing on his face. "Well, you do pay me to do just that," he reminded her with a painful sort of patience.
Yoruichi's eyes narrowed, and she growled, "I think I liked you better when you were less self-assured and more inclined to say, 'Yes, Yoruichi-sama' or 'Right away, Yoruichi-sama' or any variations thereof."
"Lies," Urahara retorted cheerfully. "I am far more interesting, I am sure, now that I occasionally have the capacity for thought all on my own."
Yoruichi scowled at the man opposite her. "I ought to spell your mouth shut. I'm sure that Tsukabishi has some interesting kidou that would do just that. If they happened to make your head explode in the process, I admit that I wouldn't be all that distressed about it," she threatened, grabbing Urahara by the arm and practically dragging him away from the scene of her…indiscretion…before he got it into his head that he needed to take a peek inside.
Yes, 'indiscretion' sounded like an appropriately un-incriminating word, and Yoruichi instantly decided that it was therefore the best choice.
Urahara didn't even protest when she grabbed his arm, which Yoruichi was privately sorry for. She would have liked very much to be able to get rid of some of her residual aggression by hitting Urahara a few times on top of that hard skull of his. Or mayhaps she could just commit defenestration. He'd probably survive that. The man was surprisingly hardy.
"Now now, you wouldn't want to do something so rash as that," Urahara soothed, placing a hand over hers even as they continued down the winding hallways of Yoruichi's mansion. It took her a moment to remember that her last comment, and not some freaky psychic powers on the part of Urahara that had somehow allowed him to see her violent thoughts, had been the reason for his response. She blamed it on the fact that, clearly, being told that you must marry was surely enough to cause, at the very least, temporary insanity.
"And why not?" she finally managed, drawing her thoughts back to the conversation at hand.
"Because if you gag me, I won't be able to tell you about my wonderful idea!"
"Your wonderful idea." Yoruichi repeated flatly.
"Yes. It can be summed up in one word: precedent."
"Precedent?"
"Precedent," Urahara agreed confidently, "A wonderful thing, precedent. If there's one thing the Shihoin family would have trouble arguing with, its precedent," Urahara explained, sounding relatively unconcerned.
Hardly daring to breathe, Yoruichi said, "Precedent for me not having to marry?"
"Why, of course! If you can find a case where the person in question, probably the best case would be one of your forefathers who had been head of the Onmitsukido and had not married, at least for a short time, you can use it to set precedent for you not marrying. And voila!" Urahara smiled at her as though he hadn't just dropped the best- and probably most obvious- solution in her lap.
Yoruichi stopped dead in her tracks. She once again blamed temporary insanity for not realizing it sooner, and said rather breathlessly, "You obnoxious, arrogant, marvelous, intelligent man. We are going to need clean paper, ink, brushes, and several liters of coffee. Meet me in the library in twenty minutes."
With a slow, secretive smile that was nevertheless entirely genuine, Urahara answered, "As you wish."
"How is it that you have better spies than I do?" Yoruichi growled as she balanced herself in the window of Byakuya's room. "I'm supposed to be head of the Onmitsukido. How is it that you've got better inside information with the Kuchikis than I do with the Shihoins?"
"Because, cousin dear," Byakuya began, having long since learned that ignoring Yoruichi did nothing but make her work harder to draw him into the conversation, "the Kuchiki servants can be bought. You should know as well as I what it takes to inspire loyalty. I am sure that your servants are loyal to you as your father's servants are loyal to him. The Kuchiki family's views on the matter of loyalty are less…" Byakuya thought for a moment, unsure of what word he wanted to use. "There is a certain fluidity to loyalty in the Kuchiki family. One man may have many masters, and so long as they report all the information, no one will care. But the Onmitsukido is less fluid. If you had caught Urahara, for example, reporting to your father, we both know that what you would do to him would become the stuff of terror and legend. If I found out…" there was a hint of a dark grin in the corners of Byakuya's mouth, "I would make sure he knew who his master was, and make sure he wants to work for me instead of for the competition. That takes a little extra gold and some well placed threats, and the matter is finished."
Yoruichi muttered a few unkind things about the Kuchiki family in general and Byakuya in particular, but the man didn't so much as flinch. "If you're having such an issue with getting information from places where you and those loyal to you cannot go, find a way in yourself. I'm sure someone as imaginative as you can find something that will get you whatever information you need. Just don't tell me about it, because I'm not interested in getting involved in whatever plan you've thought up this time."
And thus the seed was planted.
Yoruichi balanced on one fingertip in the library, staring at Tsukabishi from her upside down vantage. "Didn't you finish your work like, three years ago?"
"Yes," said Tsukabishi calmly. He turned another page. "Is that a problem?"
"No," Yoruichi said, moving smoothly into a bridge. She moved a little to the left so that Tsukabishi was still in view. He hadn't so much as blinked. "It actually works out quite well that you still hang around here, especially since you've been inducted into the Kido Corps. It works out very well indeed."
"Is that so?" Tsukabishi said, taking a closer look at the page he was reading and then making several notes on his paper, the brush sweeping across the page elegantly. Yoruichi sighed heavily, and stood up, rolling her eyes at Tsukabishi.
"This is the part," Yoruichi said meaningfully, "Where you say, 'Yoruichi-san, in payment for everything that you've done for me, I'd love to help along whatever plot you've got planned, because I am forever in your debt and you are fabulous'."
Tsukabishi raised an eyebrow at her and Yoruichi sighed again, even more heavily this time, and propped a fist on her hip. "Alright," she admitted, "Maybe that's not what you would say except under the influence of heavy drugs or duress. Possibly both. Even so, a little agreement wouldn't hurt."
"I know better to sign a contract that I haven't read," Tsukabishi returned, looking up from his work for the first time. His dark eyes met Yoruichi's squarely. "Tell me exactly what it is that you have planned, and then I'll tell you whether I'll help you or not."
Yoruichi looked around the room, shifting from foot to foot. "Ah…maybe someplace more private? It's not exactly a discussion I want to have where anyone can hear us."
That got a raised eyebrow and Tsukabishi opened his mouth for a few seconds before shutting it again. He looked thoughtful for a long moment and Yoruichi refused to let herself show a single sign of weakness under his heavy gaze, keeping absolutely still.
"And what exactly would my role entail?" Tsukabishi said, narrowing his eyes.
"Research, mostly," Yoruichi said, completely guileless. "More, if you want to, but mostly research."
Tsukabishi thought for a few more moments, and then nodded once. Yoruichi led him into what she privately thought of as her inner sanctum, the most wholly protected room of the entire mansion. She shut the doors, raised all the kidous, checked and double checked and triple checked their privacy, all but guaranteeing that no one would ever hear a word of what was going to be said here.
Yoruichi took a slow breath and turned to face Tsukabishi. "I'd like to call the project 'Animal Intelligence'," she began, and as she spoke, Tsukabishi's eyebrows slowly rose until they met his hairline.
"You do realize that this is a risky prospect at best," Urahara said, raising one brow at Yoruichi. He tried his best to hide his apprehension, but he felt he couldn't be blamed for it. After all, this was a half-baked plan at best. He wished desperately that Tsukabishi-san had been able to join them, but the man had been given a secret mission, and Yoruichi was too impatient to wait, despite Urahara's arguments. "I mean, we're using untested hand-made kidou to transform your entire body. We have no idea what it would do to you. It's a poor experiment at best, deadly at worst. Even if you complete the transformation into a cat, considering that you're attempting to turn sixty kilograms-"
"Fifty!" Yoruichi injected indignantly, glaring at Urahara with all the strength of a woman scorned.
"To turn fifty kilograms," Urahara corrected seamlessly, "into a three kilogram cat. Assuming that bit of biology gets settled, we still don't know what it would do to your mind. Would you be stuck with the mind of the cat, and be unable to comprehend what was going on around you? It won't be very much help if you were unable to gather the information that you need in the first place. Would you still be able to turn back without help? There's not much point otherwise. Do cats even have reiatsu that you can work with to return to your normal form? Without that, there's no way you can turn back to normal form, even if everything else falls into place."
"We've done all the tests we can possibly be expected to do," Yoruichi argued. "And they all turned out perfectly fine."
"Yes, but you're not just some random creature. You're you!" Urahara returned hotly. There was a brief moment of silence where neither of them was able to meet the eyes of the other. "I mean…you're not…" Urahara let out a frustrated breath. "You're not expendable, Yoruichi-san."
"You're not suggesting we test this out on someone else!" Yoruichi demanded outraged.
"If they volunteer, why not?" Urahara argued, crossing his hands across his chest. "It's better than testing it out on you. What the hell are we supposed to do if you disappear, or are irreparably harmed by this experiment? The Shihoin family will make someone pay, rightly or wrongly, because it's not the sort of thing that they could just let pass, if the head of their family suddenly disappeared. They're going to want to cover it up, and if that means punishing an innocent, they're not going to have a problem with doing it. I mean, I supported the research itself along with Tsukabishi-san, and I still agree that it's a good idea to be able to do, but I don't see why you have to be the one to do it." Urahara looked at her, and on another man his expression might have been called pleading.
Yoruichi looked at the ground thoughtfully. "I can't. Firstly, that would mean bringing another person into this, which I am not willing to do. As it is, there are three of us, and you know the old saying. 'Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead'. Besides, I wouldn't put someone at risk like that. No, this is my burden to bear, Urahara-san."
"If your only argument is being unwilling to let another in on the secret and equally unwilling to risk injury, allow me to be the first to try the kidou," Urahara suggested earnestly. "I'm already here, and it's less dangerous for me to do it than anyone else except for perhaps Tsukabishi-san."
"No!" Yoruichi exclaimed, response riding on the tail end of Urahara's words. She looked ill at the mere thought. "No, I could never do that to you, Urahara-san! I wouldn't…It's just…" she shook her head, unable to finish any of what she wanted to say. She wasn't even sure what she wanted to say.
They stared at each other for several long moments, at a stalemate. "I already know the kidou," Yoruichi said, and there was a note of pure, cold finality in it. "If you don't let me do it right now, under controlled conditions, I'll do it on my own later, and who knows what will happen then."
Urahara knew that she'd do it too. Yoruichi had never been one to allow other to say what she could and could not do. If he tried to do it now, he could damn well guarantee that Yoruichi would be right there with him, speaking the kidou at the same time as he did. And in that case, they'd be even worse off than they were now, since Urahara wouldn't be in a position to help if something went wrong.
He was beat, and Yoruichi knew it.
"Alright," Urahara said, voice quiet and a touch forlorn. "Let's do it." he swallowed. "You have the kidou memorized? What are you going to call it?"
"Kidou Neko," Yoruichi said with a shrug. "It's fitting- I thought it would be stupid to number it, because it's not like the other kidou. And it should be what it is. It's a kidou for turning me into a cat. Therefore…" she gestured expansively, trying to smile at him.
Urahara wasn't fooled. He knew as well as Yoruichi that one of a million things could go wrong. She was trying to be steady, but her hands were shaking a little. "Please, Yoruichi," Urahara said once, voice barely audible. Yoruichi's golden eyes snapped to him, pinning him in place, but she didn't say anything about the intimacy.
"Trust me, Kisuke," she said, also quiet.
Urahara closed his eyes, lips forming a prayer for good luck. Yoruichi just resisted asking who he was praying to. Now was not the time for mockery.
And who knew? Maybe the prayers would be answered.
Yoruichi's reiatsu began swirling around her, rising to meet the needs of the kidou. "Kidou Neko," the woman intoned breathlessly, and Urahara gasped sharply, nearly moving forward before stopping at the last second. "See with the eyes of another! Take knowledge and make power. Make the sun rise in the west and go rest in it. Become more than a cat's paw!"
Energy, hot and furious boiled up. Urahara shielded his face, heart hammering as his licked his suddenly dry lips. He wanted to shout out, to find a way to stop this, because this wasn't going to work, of course it wasn't, and how could he have thought that this could ever work-
The smoke cleared.
There was a cat, a black cat with the slightest suggestion of purple highlights that precisely matched the color of Yoruichi's hair. It blinked sleepy golden eyes that precisely matched Yoruichi's own. It stretched, and there was something about that powerful feline grace that simply was Yoruichi, in ways that Urahara couldn't even begin to describe.
Hardly daring to breath, Urahara knelt and tentatively held out his hand. "Yoruichi-san?" He called out softly. His hand was trembling a little, but he felt he could be forgiven. This had never been accomplished before, it was so much further beyond the scope of anything that had been done. "Yoruichi-san?" Urahara said again. Please, please, please, became a litany that Urahara couldn't stop even if he wanted to.
"This feels really weird," said the cat.
There was a moment where Urahara couldn't quite connect what he'd just seen with reality. "Um, excuse me?" he said, blinking. "Did you just speak?"
The cat- Yoruichi- blinked twice. "Well. I suppose I did. Isn't that interesting? I didn't even consider that that might happen. I mean, cats don't have the same vocal chord structure as Shinigami, so I really shouldn't be able to speak. On the other hand, we also seemed to have lucked out, since the fact that I am currently holding this conversation indicates that I have in fact retained my mind. Fascinating." Yoruichi took a look at her paw, inspecting it curiously. She caught sight of her tail and attempted to pounce on it, only to have it slip out of her grasp from the movement.
"Um…" Urahara said, at a loss. "I…uh…" He tilted his head at Yoruichi, unable to form a complete thought. "I…erm…"
"I suppose I should try and turn back now, to err on the side of caution. I can explore this form a little more later, when you look less like you've about to pass out from the shock. I've even got the reiatsu to do the reverse kidou. Fabulous." Yoruichi yawned, licking her lips and stretching a little, working out the kinks in her back.
Urahara continued to stare. It was one thing to do all the planning and research, to do the basic experimentation. To see Yoruichi in front of him, sitting as a cat, however…it absolutely boggled the mind and made his brain attempt to melt out his ears. "Yes, please," Urahara said hoarsely.
"Reverse Neko," Yoruichi began without hesitation. "Pure eyes of the self! Take power and make knowledge. Make the sun rise in the east and find joy in it. Satisfaction resolves all things!" Her reiatsu surged once more, and the smoke rose, shielding the form of the cat. Urahara managed to pull himself together long enough to stare avidly at the smoke and send still more prayers to whoever was listening that Yoruichi would be restored to her proper form without problem.
Then Urahara heard the dreaded words: "Uh oh."
"Uh oh?" Urahara exclaimed, perhaps a touch panicked. "What uh oh? No uh oh!"
A convenient gust of wind blew away the remaining smoke, and Urahara's eyes widened. Yoruichi looked down at herself, frowning in confusion. "I'm not entirely sure where my clothing went or how it disappeared. That's probably something we should resolve at some point."
It was at this point that Urahara dropped to the ground in a dead faint, nosebleed causing blood to dribble down one cheek.
"Shoo!" said one of the many, many, retainers serving her father. He darted towards her, trying to frighten her into leaving. When that didn't work, he shouted at her. It wasn't until he actually went to pick her up and physically remove her that she hissed, lashing out and scratching him in the span of an eye-blink. The man gave out a yell, cursing her out.
"Tetsugawa-san, what the hell are you doing!" Someone yelled from inside the meeting room. "We don't have time for this!"
"Trying to get rid of this cat!" the man shouted back furiously. He turned his attention back to Yoruichi, shouting a little bit more and trying to run her off. He didn't get close this time, however, instead nursing his injured hand, which was still bleeding rather copiously. Yoruichi felt bad for that in a vague sort of way, but told herself that if he was stupid enough to try and move a cat that didn't want to be moved then he deserved to be scratched. She returned to washing herself with great aplomb, ignoring the man.
"What? You're wasting your time on a cat, when we're trying to get this hall ready? Are you crazy? Shihoin-sama is going to kill you if you're late with the food. Leave the cat alone- what is it going to do?"
"It's dangerous!" the man shouted back, defending himself.
There was a snort of laughter. "Hey, if you want to be the one to tell Shihoin-sama why everything isn't ready, be my guest. I'll help clean up the scraps that he leaves of your body, and try not to say 'I told you so'."
The man grumbled at her a little more, the stared at her challengingly. Yoruichi simply licked her chops and continued to wash herself, giving the retainer a look of deep disdain. The man sighed finally left. The minute he was gone, Yoruichi stopped actively pretending to be a cat and slipped in, following the retainer.
She kept to the shadows, hyper aware that if she was caught now, she'd be kicked out of the building, and she'd have absolutely no chance at all of listening in on the meeting her father was currently having with Byakuya's father. The mere thought that of pair of them working together made every hair on Yoruichi's body stand on end, and Yoruichi wanted desperately to figure out what they were plotting; whenever the pair got together, the result was never a good thing for either herself or Byakuya; it couldn't be that great for her friends among the Onmitsukido either, for that matter.
There was a certain part of Yoruichi that wanted to defend Byakuya more than herself. She would always think of him as the fiery kid with a practice sword in hand, trying to stop her from grabbing his hair tie. It was the same thing with Urahara and Tsukabishi; though she knew they had faced terrible things, she couldn't help but think that they were still just a little more innocent, a little less dirtied by their work. Yoruichi, on the other hand had been exposed to a lot more, and she knew how bad the world was. She wanted to protect them from the worst of it if at all possible.
So she lurked, waiting for everyone to vacate the area, waiting for her father and Byakuya's father to arrive, waiting for them to begin to plot, to scheme, all while not even aware of the black cat there to hear every word.
A smile spread across her face, a smile that belonged on the face of a much bigger and far more physically imposing feline.
She would protect the men and women that were hers if it was the last thing she did.
And if she learned some things that she technically wasn't supposed to know, or got information she wasn't supposed to have, well, that was just a bonus.
The End