AUTHOR: AISHA4SENRU
PAIRING: SENRU
Summarize: Five years after Kaede's death… it's not bad as it sound.
Outside the sky is very clear and blue, there are children playing happily.
However, I feel so down and lonely...you ask why?
Today is my Kaede's fifth death anniversary.
I've been wandering around the house for almost two hours now, not knowing what to do.
It has been five years, but still, I haven't totally accepted the fact that he's gone.
Memories of him are still fresh on my mind, his warm touches, his laughter, his smiles, his gentleness and his voice. His presence still lingers around me and sometimes I wish I could also die, but I know better than anyone that he'll never forgive me if I do so.
Car accident...
I still can't accept it. We were happily returning home from our long vacation when a drunken taxi driver crashed over us...
We should have both died, but my Kaede covered me with his body before the taxi hit our car.
I reached to the picture beside our bed, it's Kaede's picture and mine.
Again, tears start falling; again, my heart starts to hurt; again, I caress his face as I remember his last words.
"Akira…I love you. Live for both of us."
Then when I gained consciousness I was in an ambulance, covered with my and Kaede's blood.
I close my eyes unable to stop myself from crying.
It still hurts. It hurts me so much not being able to see him, to touch him.
We've been together since High School, lived together after his graduation.
17 years together, we shared our love for 17 beautiful years.
Now he's gone.
I didn't notice I was sobbing.
These past five years have been hell for me.
The first two years after his death were the worst. If it wasn't for my friends, I might have hanged myself.
I still remember the words of Hanamichi. He was bloody mad at me that time.
"How can you do this to him? He won't ever forgive you if you kill yourself! You hear me?"
When he said that, I realized my mistake and how stupid I was that time.
Because Kaede loved life more than anyone did else did.
That was also the reason why he chose the persons with whom he could share it.
He chose his friends and he treasured them a lot. That was my Kaede.
He helped orphans because he was an orphan himself.
He helped poor old women in need; he picked up lost animals and took them home.
I smiled as I turn my gaze to the five cats sleeping in the corner.
But he was also a straighforwarded guy. He would never say a lie to make people smile.
He could be so rude sometimes.
I still remember that time when I had to cheer a child because her parents were divorcing…
"Don't cry, your parents are not divorcing, they are just…hmmm…having an LQ… so don't worry…"
"Shut up Akira." He snorted and he faced the boy who was crying.
"Yes, your parents are divorcing." He said, cold and raw.
I got mad. How could he be so cruel? He's only a child!
Kaede took the boy in his arms, which surprised me, and smiled.
"They are divorcing, but it doesn't mean they don't love you anymore"
He wiped the boy's tears.
"Don't also blame them. They didn't plan it, it's just that…sometimes, adults don't really know what to do. They are also human, they make mistakes…, and things like this happen. Someday you'll understand"
The boy, then, smiled back and nodded.
I was surprised and loved him even more. He was like that.
I decided to go out, finally. I want to visit his tomb for the last time.
The sun is blinding. I closed my eyes for a moment when I heard a voice.
"Ayako-san"
She smiled brightly at me.
"Good morning Akira."
"Why are you here?" I asked as we started to walk along.
"I took my kids at school. Ryota has some business to do." She smiled while mentioning her husband's name. They're really happy together. They had a very chaotic love story back then. It took another girl to make Ayako realized she was in love with Miyagi.
I shook my head, but I'm glad it turned out well. Kaede was cheering for them. I chuckled.
"What's funny?" she asked me.
"Nothing… Kaede used to nag on me; he wanted so much for you to notice Miyagi back then."
She laughed softly, she's already 38 like me, but she's still attractive.
"It's been five years since he passed away." She murmured softly with sad eyes. Yeah, she considered Kaede as his brother.
"Want to come with me? I'm going to visit him" I tried to sound cheerful, but failed.
She nodded.
When we arrived, we encountered some women. I shrug.
Ayako run towards Kaede's grave.
She turned back to me and smiled.
"Look Akira, there are many flowers and cards and…" she cried. She was touched. And so I am.
Flowers and short messages. They remembered him.
Ayako read some of the messages.
"Ow, this one is from those children… Kaede-niisan, we miss you so much. Please watch over us from where you are. We love you so much. You were, and you will always be our big brother…we miss you." Ayako smiled reading it.
"From Rukawa fanclub… thank you for everything, you gave us joy and inspiration. You were, and always be our idol, because there's no one like you. We love you."
"This is… Hanamichi?" she laughed.
I took the little card from her and read it loud.
"Stupid kitsune, why did you leave us so soon? You promised you'd take care of my future grandchildren with me! Baka! We miss you, my sons miss you…and Akira miss you… watch over us, watch over him. You are a very dear friend and you helped me lot. You gave me your friendship; you were always there to help me, to help us. You gave me money for my business without hesitation. What a friend you are. What a person you are. Maybe, it's too late to tell you this, but I'm glad I met you and I spent half of my life having you as my friend."
I have tears in my eyes. I'm touched to the core. Hanamichi, Kaede also considered you as his best friend.
"Hey Akira, look! A trophy!"
It's the National Trophy… and on top of it there's a large picture of Kaede wearing Kanagawa University's basketball team jersey.
Ayako took it.
"There's a message on the back…"
"Coach Rukawa…"
It's from Kaede's students…
"Coach Rukawa… this is our gift for you… we re-conquer our title. We miss you coach. You taught us many things. Your determination to win, your desire to be the number one…most of all, you taught us what basketball really means to you. Why you loved playing basketball so much…now we understand.
With basketball you can fly, with basketball you can make friends… coach, we promise you… we will never fail you again. You are our hero. Thank you for everything."
Kaede, you heard that? Your students adore you. You made good players and good persons out of them.
"You know Akira?" Ayako started looking at the trophy.
"Hm?"
"I heard that Fujima-san uses Kaede as example to train his students in Shoyo. He makes his players watch Kaede's games… he always says that Kaede is basketball…"
Fujima….
"I also heard that Maki-san made a little statue of Kaede outside Kanagawa University…" she smiled.
"Look, there are also some cards from other athletes… Sawakita…he came here? Kaede made so many friends, don't you think so?"
I nodded. Kaede love them, too.
"Let's go?" she offered her hand. I shook my head.
"Go ahead. I…I want to stay alone for a while."
She nodded, but before leaving, she turned to me.
"Akira, Kaede's not gone… as long as you, as we remember him…he'll always be here" she puts her hand on her left chest.
"In our heart."
I nodded and thanked her.
Kaede, my Kaede, you gave me so much. Your body, heart and soul…your life.
I used to enjoy life as well, but in a different way.
I went to parties, I dated hundreds of girls, and I stayed out with my friends until morning. I played basketball because it was fun and I was good at it… but when I met you and stayed with you, I started to see it in a different way. You led a meaningful life.
Kaede, I'm alone without you, I don't know what to do.
You were a part of me…
You were the most important part of me.
And you're gone.
My love, this is the last time I come here…
I want to live for both of us.
I want to pretend that you're still with me.
That you're not gone. I won't be able to love anyone else.
Therefore, I'm taking you with me…
You kept all the promises you made, I hope, no, I'm sure you'll keep your last promise, too.
I'll stay with you forever
Kaede, wait for me; I'll come to you with my body, heart and soul.
"Until then, goodbye. I love you."
I felt a warm breeze embrace me. I smiled and headed to our favourite place.
I lie down and try to reach the sky with my hand…
"Wait for me, I'll take a little bit long, but please wait for me… and we will soar together into the sky you loved..."
A warm breeze engulfed me as I fell into a deep slumber for the first time after your death.
EPILOGUE"And the winner of this year's painting contest is...Miss Kaira Senru!"
Kaira stood up and went to the stage. She was happy and proud of herself.
"Thank you… this means so much for me…"
The MC smiled.
"So, what's the name of this painting? You haven't given it yet."
She turned her gaze to her painting.
It was a picture of a beautiful Sunday morning. She did it a month ago while wandering around.
In that painting, the sky was clear and blue, the grasses are pure green; and then, there's a man lying under a sakura tree… beside him sits a raven-haired angel watching over him.
It was faint, but she saw that angel, she knew that what she saw was real.
"I'll name it…."
She paused and smiled.
"MY ANGEL".
Hehehehe! For all senru fans out there.