Hahahahahahahaha! I promised that I would return this story to Fanfiction and return it I did! WHOO! So yes, for those of you who are new to this story, the main characters name is Lysandara. She is crazy. Do not underestimate her insanity, it gets you killed. Anyhoo, on with the story!

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Main Character: Lysandara

Profession: Smuggler

Likes: Cookies, shiny things, fast moving vehicles, buttons and/or levers explosions, and fuzzy animals

Dislikes: Root canals, bad people, and puppy kickers

Favorite color: Fluorescent pink

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Lysandara frowned as she felt herself hit firmly on the head with some round, crumbly object. She puffed out her lips and glanced skyward, only to be hit in the face with a chocolate chip cookie. The confused woman let out a yelp and smacked the cookie off of her face, looking around wildly.

Realization dawned on her, it was raining cookies! She giggled hysterically to herself and then proceeded to gather up as many of the heaven-sent tasty pastries that she could. The smuggler held one of the many cookies in front of her mouth, and after savoring the moment, bit down upon it.

"HEY! IDIOT! GET UP!" the cookie shouted at her. Startled, she flung the cookie away, her eyes growing wide with wonderment.

"AHHH! TALKING COOKIE!" she screeched. The cookie slowly rolled its way over to her, muttering obscenities as it did so.

"FOR THE LOVE OF THE REPUBLIC, WAKE UP! THE ENDAR SPIRE IS UNDER ATTACK!" the cookie screamed. Lysandara blinked in confusion. Wake up? For her to wake up, she would have to be asleep first…oh...

She was shaken (literally) out of her musings by a man who was standing over her. Lysandara's pupils grew and shrunk rapidly, and she promptly pulled her blankets over her head.

"AHHHH! GO AWAY!" she pleaded. She heard a guttural growl sound in reply, followed by the man inquiring,

"Why? What could be so damned important that I have to leave while the stupid ship is blowing up?" There was a short pause following this question, followed by Lysandara stating very calmly,

"I'm in my underwear." The man formed an "o" with his lips and turned around so Lysandara could change in private. Once she was sure he wasn't looking, Lysandara slowly worked her way out of her bed. She crawled over to a small chest and pulled out a suit of armor, a vibroblade, and a couple of blasters. While she tried to come up with the solution as to how such a small container could hold all these items, she put the armor on.

The man turned around and faced Lysandara, blinking as he saw her gazing at the vibroblade with an awed expression on her face. He raised an eyebrow and coughed, startling Lysandara into looking at him. Seeing that he had her attention, he extended his hand out to her, which she cautiously shook, and said,

"I'm Trask Ulgo, I'm your bunkmate here on the Endar Spire. Err…pleased to meet you. Now, let's get the hell out of here before we're blown into space dust!" After finishing, Trask bolted off, attempting to run into the hallway. Unfortunately, the door was shut and thus he ran headlong into it. Lysandara stared at Trask as he leapt up and down, rubbing his nose as he did so. Breaking into a wild grin, she followed his example and ran into the door as well.

Trask stared at Lysandara in disbelief as she began to laugh and cry at the same time as a result of her short-lived adventure. 'Gods…what did I do to deserve to get stuck with this lunatic?' he thought. Sighing, he opened the door, motioning to Lysandara that she should open the other door. Noticing her quizzical look, he elaborated,

"It's been locked down and I need you to slice it open." Lysandara scrunched her face up as she processed this information and cheerfully agreed to do. As she trotted over to the door, she suddenly stopped and turned to face Trask, her eyes wary and untrusting.

"Hey…" she said, "How did you get in here in the FIRST place?" Trasks' expression went blank, as if that thought had just occurred to him. He cupped his hand to his chin in thought and replied,

"I…don't…know…" Lysandara cocked her head to a side, and then shrugged.

"Whatever…" she muttered. She held her vibroblade in front of her, glaring at the door as if it had personally insulted her. Just as Trask was about to ask her what she was doing, she let out a strangled yell and cut the door loose from its hinges. It fell forward and squished a Sith soldier that had been standing there. Lysandara let out a victorious cackle and turned towards Trask, confused at his appalled expression.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?" he shouted at her. She cringed, and backed away, her eyes beginning to water. She sniffed and then said,

"I…sliced open the door…" Trask blinked, slapped himself in the face, and sighed.

"Okay, whatever. Lets just continue…" he muttered, striding past Lysandara. After a few seconds, the smuggler followed, humming cheerfully. Her own rendition of 'Smoke on the Water' was interrupted by a voice that seemed to come out of nowhere screeching,

"OY! YOU TWO IDIOTS! GET TO THE ESCAPE PODS ALL READY!" Lysandara yelped and looked around, her vibroblade held defensively in front of her.

"WHO'S THERE! SHOW YOURSELF!" she yelped. Trask growled and bonked her firmly on the head with the butt of his blaster. Ignoring her indignant glare, he pointed to a small device on Lysandara's belt,

"That was Carth on your comlink. He's the commanding officer here on the Endar Spire." He explained. Lysandara blinked, grabbed her comlink and stared at it.

"I didn't know I had this…" she said slowly. Trask shrugged.

"ToDAY people!" Carth screamed. Lysandara yelped and took off at a run, mowing down any Sith soldiers that got in her way. Trask blinked and moseyed calmly after her, glad that he didn't have to do all the work for once. As he rounded a corner, Trask saw Lysandara staring ahead at a battle between a Jedi and a Dark Jedi. Her eyes were glowing in barely contained awe as she regarded their lightsabers.

"Shiiiiiiney…." She observed, drooling a small waterfall. Trask gave her a look, took a few steps away from her and remarked cautiously,

"Don't you dare try to steal those lightsabers…" After he said that, the Jedi cut down the Dark Jedi. The Knight let out a victory screech but was cut off as she was blown to smithereens by a random explosion. While Trask muttered a string of obscenities, obviously upset by the loss of a potential ally, Lysandara came to the conclusion that since the two Jedi were DEAD, they didn't need their shineys anymore!

Cackling happily at her logic, she dove towards the two bodies, completely taken aback as the lightsabers seemed to have vanished into thin air. She let out a disgruntled screech and turned to glare at Trask, pointing an accusatory finger at him.

"YOU took them didn't YOU?" she screeched. Trask blinked and stared at Lysandara as if she had just grown an extra head.

"What the hell are you talking about? Oh whatever, I don't really want to know, let's just hurry up and get to the escape pods." He turned to go but was stopped as a sobbing Lysandara clung to his leg.

"THE SHINEYS! THEY HAVE FORSAKEN ME!" she lamented. Trask growled and smacked Lysandara over the head once again, this time rendering her unconscious. He played with the idea of just leaving her there, but being the noble sap that he is, carried her along with him. He stopped just outside the bridge and set the KOed smuggler on the ground, waiting for her to wake up.

After a few seconds, Lysandara's eyes snapped open and she launched herself at Trask. She grabbed his neck and screamed,

"HELP! THE MOLE PEOPLE ARE COMING TO GET MEEEE!" Trask glared at her, pried her off of his neck, and flung her onto the ground. She scowled up at him, stood up and muttered to herself. Sighing, Trask opened the door to the bridge, letting out a startled yelp as he saw several Sith soldiers there.

The Sith recovered from their surprise more quickly than Trask did, and one took aim at the bemused Republican soldier. Luckily for him, Lysandara sprang towards said Sith soldier and quickly hacked him into ribbons. Everyone, even the Sith, recoiled in horror as they saw what Lysandara had done. Lysandara however, was more horrified at the blood that now stained her shiney vibroblade.

"Hey! He desecrated the almighty shiney! I shall not rest until his cohorts are DESTROYED for that insult!" Lysandara announced dramatically. The Sith scrambled to get away from Lysandara, but they weren't quick enough. They were killed in the same artistic fashion, leaving a satisfied Lysandara standing amongst the carnage.

"The shiney is appeased! All rejoice!" she said cheerfully. Trask closed his gaping mouth and shrugged. Well, at least the Sith were dealt with…

They continued walking along until a door randomly popped open, revealing a Sith Lord.

"BOO!" the Sith Lord shouted, throwing his arms up over his head for dramatic purposes. Hescared the living daylights out of Lysandara andshe rushed to hide behind Trask who was staring at the Sith.

"All right, now I'm going to be noble and fight him so you can escape. So I'm probably going to die. See ya!" the soldier remarked cheerfully as he charged off towards the Sith Lord. The door slammed shut, leaving Lysandara all alone.

She glanced desperately around, trying to figure out where to go. As if reading her thoughts, the comlink activated. Carth's voice came through, him saying,

"Go through the door on your left, stupid!" Lysandara blinked and looked slowly over to her left, surprised to see a door had randomly appeared there. Shrugging, she skipped up through the door. Once through it, Carth contacted her once again,

"Okay well I suppose I should tell you that you're the only other alive Spire member, besides ME of course, left alive, but I don't feel like it. So I'm not going to tell you." Just as Lysandara was about to point out he HAD told her, he cut her off by saying,

"Just go down this hallway and you'll reach the escape pods." Lysandara stared down the hallway and skipped down it, inadvertently stepping on the toes of a few Sith soldiers as she did so. Completely disregarding their blaster fire and shouted curses, she continued on. She reached a room and cautiously glanced into the adjacent room, whistling lowly as she saw two battalions of Sith soldiers there.

"All right, now you can reprogram the droid to shoot the living hell outta the Sith, or you can activate the defense system using the computer." Carth remarked. Lysandara glared down at her comlink and declared,

"Naw, that would be too easy!" After her declaration, she charged into the next room and mercilessly slaughtered the Sith soldiers, cackling all the while. Once she was finished, she walked into the next room, finding herself face to face with Carth.

"Err…okay I suppose that worked. Anyway, let's get going. I have a feeling that the Endar Spire is going to explode soon." The oh-so-tasty pilot said (A/N: Oh come on, you all know you love him!).

Lysandara blinked and dove into the last escape pod, leaving room for Carth behind her. He sat down and quickly strapped himself in, staring at Lysandara as she began to push all the buttons she possibly could. One such button happened to be the "launch" button, and they were soon hurtling towards space down towards the planet below.

"OOOOH! PRETTY!" Lysandara said as she watched the Endar Spire blow up. Carth growled then blinked as he realized Lysandara had not strapped herself in.

"Uhhh…aren't you going to buckle up?" Carth asked as the planets' surface got rapidly larger. Lysandara turned to face Carth, a confused expression on her face. The next second, the escape pod smashed into the ground sending Lysandara flying. Carth rolled his eyes, unbuckled, and dragged Lysandara away from the crash site.

"Idiot. You should always wear a seatbelt!" he scolded her unconscious form.