This is a series of drabbles that were bouncing in my mind when I was trying to sleep last night. The victim? Naruto, which I do not own. The plot? There is none. The point? So I can sleep better. The questions? What questions?

Enjoy your ramen~!

Hit and Run

Naruto ate his fifth bowl of ramen. Sakura watched him in disgust. Sasuke was staring at the bottom of his bowl. Kakashi was reading his porn.

"Don't you think that's too much?" Sakura asked Naruto. "You've eaten your fifth bowl!"

"Chouji can eat ten." Naruto managed to get out. "We're trying to see who can eat the most."

Sakura looked sick. "All that ramen in one sitting?"

"Yup!" Naruto didn't say anymore after that, too occupied with his food.

A little while later, Sakura turned to Sasuke and tried to flirt with him, but her efforts were nil. Kakashi was still absorbed with his porn. Then Tenten, Neji, and Rock Lee walked into the ramen restaurant with a hassled looking Gai, who was frowning over a paper.

Gai sat down next to Kakashi. Kakashi ignored him and didn't bother to look up when Gai asked Kakashi a question.

Naruto stopped eating. He looked up, interested. "What was that?" He asked Gai.

"Huh? Oh," Gai read off the paper. "If you could express your feelings in one way, how would you express it?"

Naruto tilted his head and closed his eyes, as if contemplating the question. Then he turned around and punched Sasuke in the face.

"…" There was a second of split silence. Naruto looked right pleased with himself, Sakura was shocked, Neji didn't care (he actually smirked!), Tenten bit her lip, Rock Lee's eyes popped, Gai was …impressed, and Kakashi rolled his eyes and said, "Oh boy."

Sasuke looked like a dog that just got run over. One second later, Naruto was gibbering underneath a face that looked like the Devil itself.

"Uh…s-s-s-sorry?" Naruto offered a weak apology.

Sasuke grimly cracked his knuckles.

"Gai!" Naruto shouted suddenly before Sasuke threw a punch at him. "What was the question again?"

Gai gave a start and read the paper again, "If you could express your feelings in one way, how would you express it?"

Naruto swung around and yelled, "I would run!!!" He dashed out of the restaurant, but not before quickly punching Sasuke again.

Infuriated in getting punched twice by a total idiot, Sasuke chased after Naruto.

Inside the ramen shop, silence settled like thick soup, only to be broken by Kakashi turning a page and remarking, "That was some hit and run."

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End…yeah, really random stuff I got here.