Spoilers: Post season 12
Content Warning: None.
Summary: They both hate the silence.
She paused at the El ramp, thankful to be going home. The day had been non-stop chatter. Talking about vacations and weddings and births while performing surgery. "I promise you that the fish was this long." Dr. Cave stretched his elbows while talking about his recent fishing trip. And it wasn't just Dr. Cave. Dr. Dubenko spent most of the surgery talking about anything and everything. "If it wasn't what she meant, why would she say it, Dr. Rasgotra?" She just shrugged.
And the El train. How many people could talk at once? It didn't sound like talking to her. Just chickens clucking. She wanted quiet. Stillness. Silence. It's what she wanted.
And what she hated.
When she came home, she paused at the door of the apartment building, instinctively bracing herself for noisy unwanted band mates and groupies and the sad wailing of a guitar. As she approached the door, she was greeted by nothing. Just the silence of a life now past.She sighed heavily. She hadn't realised how much she had missed him playing his guitar until she was greeted by a heavy eerie and uncomfortable silence.
She sat down on the couch and looked at the city below.
In the silence, she found herself thinking of him and how she had betrayed him. She wondered if she had betrayed him. She wondered if she hurt him. But she remembered her hurt; her pain and doubted he'd understand. After all, her husband had betrayed her.
He called her for a surgical consult and she could tell he wanted to say something, but her head was filled with too much noise as it was. She wanted no more. She wanted quiet.
Just not the silence.
"Dr. Barnett! Glad you could join us today!" Kerry Weaver's annoying voice was the first one that greeted him at work and it never stopped. From Luka shouting orders, to Sam trying to calm down a hit and run victim, the ER had been abuzz with noise. Whining, crying patients and that didn't include the kids. And then there was the street. With every step he took, he heard horns honking, people yelling, sirens in the distance. Noise. Nothing but noise.
Every ounce of him wanted to run as far as he could and he couldn't explain why. He put his coat on after shift and left.
When he finally made it home, he paused just a brief second. He opened the door and just looked around. The TV was off and there was no music. Tossing his pack on the floor, he grabbed himself a beer. He popped it open and sat on the couch. He wasn't in the mood for music or television. Just silence.
And since she moved out, it was all he had.
It was his friend and his enemy.
He leaned his head back and thought about her. He'd seen her briefly when he called for a surgical consult. She looked worn and tired. He rallied the stats off to her and away she went, leaving him in this confusing world of moans, cries, and wails.
He knew he should be thankful for the quiet after all the noise that ravaged his head earlier in the day. He found himself staring out the window at the city below him, ravaged with all its noises and discovered one thing:
He never cared much for quiet because it brought too much silence with it.