Disclaimer_ I don't own Metal gear or any of its characters, I also don't own the post office or Buffalo Bob`s dog Precious.



We find Snake sitting around smoking a cig and wondering what the hell is that green bar above him and why it is decreasing. Suddenly Snakes codec goes off....



Otacon: Snake what did I tell you about smoking those things?!

Snake: And what did I tell you about masturbating to Sailor Moon?

Otacon:....ass.... Oh by the way did a package come for me?

Snake: let me check.



Snake gets up and looks for Otacons package. About three minutes later Snake finds it and opens it.



Snake: Hal when I get home we have to talk.

Otacon: you opened it???!!

Snake: yes I did and I don't believe you a Mrs. Emmerich blow up sex doll??!

Otacon: What`s wrong with a little incest now and then?

Snake: * turns codec off*



Snake sits back in his seat and opens a ration and watches some t.v. for a while, until he sees some crows flying around outside.



Snake: the hell?



Raven enters the postoffice and walks up to the counter were Snake stands.



Raven: So we meet again Snake?

Snake: sorry Raven but no pets aloud *points to the sign*

Raven: oh....*shoots sign* anyway, did my package come yet?

Snake: what was in it?

Raven: um.... a M249 S.A.W.

Snake: oh that package *looks for it* here you go.

Raven: hey its been opened! * looks at the gun* and it has been fired!

Snake: hey I needed something to go shopping with.

Raven: well at least I have my gun....ass... *leaves*.



After Raven leaves Snake sees a one-armed man walking towards the post-office, Snake quickly gets under on of the MANY boxes and peers out the opening. Liquid then enters with a little white dog.



Liquid: come on Precious lets find our next "friend".



Liquid then looks for Snake but doesn't see him so he goes in the back and sees all the boxes.

Liquid: oh shit. Snake I know you are hiding in one of these boxes, so just come out!

Precious: !! Woof woof! *huh? Just a box!*





That's the end of the first chapter, I know end is a bit dumb but it will get more violent in next chapters. REVIEW!