Title: Thank You for Punishing Me
Author: Ley
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any of its character. I simply conjure up the ideas.
Summary: Quinn Fabray wasn't a delinquent, but she was angry. But sometimes anger is what you need to sift yourself out of the rubble.
A/N: This may or may not seem completely logical but it was for an English class project so I wrote it. Feel free to R&R. No rude comments though.
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Quinn's POV
They lied to me for fifteen years. I didn't deserve that. I deserved the truth. I deserved it.
"Miss. Fabray." The judge calls me to the bench. I'm seething right now so yeah I'm probably coming off as a bitch but that's not my fault. I didn't ask for this.
"Miss. Fabray follow me to my chambers." He instructs me before walking off. I follow because I'd rather not be held in contempt of court and spend another night in juvie.
Once we're in his room he sits in his big pronounced chair. I wish I could say he was haughty but he was a pretty humble dude. Oh yeah did I forget to mention he's my uncle?
"Quinn, why'd you do this?" He asked me with a look I can't quite place. I would tell him but he knew and didn't tell me as well so he doesn't deserve to be in my loop.
"You knew. Why should I tell you anything? Nobody thought that I deserved to know the truth." I say tersely as I sit back in his uncomfortable chair.
"Quinn your mother was young and she thought she was doing what was best. He died so soon after you were born. It was just easier this way." He answers me in the most diplomatic way. And that just pisses me off even more.
"I spent fifteen years under that monsters care. I should have known from day one." I reply with unwavering coldness.
I can't bring myself to give a damn about the people in my life right now. Because as far as I'm concerned they're all filthy liars. I bet he wouldn't have lied to me.
"Quinn I know and you know you're not the type of kid to be out here committing crimes. And while I agree with why you did what you did assault is just never the answer. I don't want to see you in jail Quinn." Judge Mathieu tells me.
"Just give me my punishment so I can be done with this." I say. I'm kind of tired at this point and I don't feel like putting up this fight.
"There's a program that runs at the community center, I'm ordering you to do 30 hours of the program." He says handing me my sentencing papers.
I stare at him incredulously, "You've got to be kidding me right? There's no way I'm doing 30 hours at the freakin' community center." I look down reading the paper and my head whips up so fast after I read who runs the program. "I can't stand this girl, there's absolutely no way I can do this." I stand up and slam the paper down on his desk.
Uncle Mathieu glares at me and I can't help but immediately end my tirade.
"I'm sorry if you thought you had any real choice but either you do these hours by the end of the month or you go back to juvie. That is your only choice." He states with finality and all I can do is silently fume, before signing the paper.
He reads my body language well and stops me before I leave, "Quinn I know it may not seem like it but I know what I'm doing. That girl can help you if you let her."
Quinn sighs and shakes her head at her uncle, "There is nothing that Rachel Berry can help me with." I state coldly before storming out his office.
There's no way Rachel Berry can ever help me. We're nothing alike.
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This community center program thing is really starting to piss me off. And I've only done 10 of the 30 hours I have to complete.
But at least I'm not the only one who hates this.
I spot the same little girl I've seen every time I'm here. She turns and catches my eye and offers a small smile. I reciprocate the sentiment and move to where she's standing.
Even though she's kind of young I can't lie, she's someone I always talk to. She's just got this aura about her that I don't really get, but I'm learning some things just shouldn't be questioned.
"Hey kid." I call to her as I approach. She lifts her eyebrow and gives me a look, "I have a name." Is all she says. But it's enough to make me awkward, so I repeat what I said "Hey Paysen."
She nods appreciatively while I hop up on the brick wall she's always occupying.
"So do you hate this program as much as I do?" I asked her while I watched the traffic go by. But I see her shake her head out of the corner of my eye, I turn my gaze to her and raise an eyebrow questioningly.
She sighs before responding, "This is the one place with other people like me, who understand what it means to have to prove who you are."
See what I mean, the kid is like a little book of philosophy. Her hair is like a golden honey and it caches the light of the setting sun. I can almost see myself her except for one fact. I shake my head. I guess I'm still not ready to deal with that.
She sees my action and doesn't question she just speaks again, "You know if you stopped thinking that you're just so different from us you'd really be able to see it."
I don't bother asking what she means. She gets into bouts like this. She'll say what she wants and that's all she will say. Asking will just make her not speak to me for the rest of the day.
I nod, but in my head I know it's much harder than that.
"And you should be nicer to Rachel she seems to always have your back." She says and moves to jump off the wall. I don't bother following her. I know she wants to be alone now. And honestly so do I.
Then I hear that voice saying it's time for the meeting to come inside. Maybe I could stand to be more kind but I hate how she acts like she gets me. She has no clue what I am or who I am or what I'm going through.
I wait a while for the others to all file in but I'm knocked out of my longing stare by a small hand touching my arm. I look down and she's looking at me silently speaking. I sigh before swinging myself off the wall.
As we're walking back into the center something comes over me and before I can question it I'm pulling Rachel to the side. I grab my wallet out of my back pocket and pull out two pictures. The first one I show her is Russell Fabray.
"This is the man that raised me, my stepfather, Russell." I say softly "I was the reason he was in the hospital." I added for good measure. Rachel nodded her head in understanding, "I heard about that at school but I wondered if you'd ever tell." She responded
I simply showed her the next picture of me as a baby with my mother Judy and my real dad, a man named Malcolm. She studied the picture before pulling me into a hug. I was surprised so I hugged back.
She took a step back and pointed to a picture on the wall. It was her and her two dads and a woman I had never seen before. "That's my mother. Her name is Shaun."
I looked at the picture then back at her, and maybe it wasn't obvious but I could tell once she'd said it.
"You're black too?" I asked quietly.
"You're not the only one dealing Quinn. Everyone here is going through their own personal breakthroughs." She said in one breath but with a gently look in her eyes. "You don't have to hide here." She stated softly though she egged me to say it finally.
I looked at her and took a breath, "My real dad was black, and he died when I was seven months so my mom got a replacement, Russell. My mother knew she couldn't teach what it meant to be black so she lied to me for fifteen years. And I only just found out when I walked in on them arguing and Russell said my dad was a filthy nigger and I was no different no matter how "white" I looked." I whisper the end because it hurts to think about.
Rachel took my hand and laced my fingers with hers, "You're not the only black white girl Quinn. I mean you've seen Paysen." She said with a small smile. It was sort of contagious I guess because I couldn't help but reciprocate.
"Everybody here is?" I asked.
She shook her head, "Not everyone, just a lot of people, myself included."
I sighed, "I'll actually be able to do this?" I asked her looking for a clear cut answer.
"If you stop trying to go it alone you'll do just fine." Rachel responded before standing on her tiptoes and placing a small kiss on my cheek.
I couldn't help but blush. I finally found someone my age who can understand me.
"Everything looks in order." My uncle Mathieu states as we're back to the place where this whole journey started. Except now my girlfriend is sitting in the chair beside me. And I'm not quite the same angry kid I was the first go around.
"So I'm good." I asked cautiously. He just smiles and nods his head, "You're good. You're no longer Quinn Fabray; you are now legally Quinn Mathieu."
I can't help the wide smile that breaks out on my face. I feel oddly enough closer to my dad in this moment. I should have been able to keep his name from the beginning. I feel Rachel wrap her arms around me in a hug and I can't stop the smile that grows even more if that's possible.
"I'm so proud of you." She whispers into my ear. And I know now that it was all worth it. Mucking through all that anger and betrayal and hatred, it was all worth it to hear her say that.
I look over her shoulder at my uncle who smile is kind, just like my dad's and mouth a "thank you."
He just nods in my direction. Now I see where my cousin Paysen gets it from.
FIN