Due to the success of the Family Guy/Wallace and Gromit series, I thought it would be good to take on another one of Nick Park's acclaimed series, Shaun the Sheep, with Roger the Alien, the breakout character and the fan favourite character from another one of Seth MacFarlane's hit series American Dad!, reprising the role from Sheep Movie. This is another tribute to both of these genius animators.
Roger the Alien as Shaun the Sheep
In
'What Pilot Can There Be?'
Co-Staring:
Stan Smith as Bitzer
Avery Bullock as The Farmer
Francine Smith as the vet
Sheep Extras: Steve, Hayley, Snot, Toshi, Barry, Jeff Fischer and Terry and Greg.
Three Naughty Pigs: Jackson, Sanders and Dick
And Peter Griffin (from Family Guy) in a cameo
Sunshine covered the whole green field as well as sheep and their droppings. They were eating happily on the grass, except one. A sheep called Steve was hanging over the fence, looking fed up.
"Why the long face, Steve?" asked a sheep called Shaun. "And don't say, 'Because I have a long face,' cause that wore off the first eight times you said it!"
"I'm bored!" answered Steve. "I played all my video games, I can't ask any girl out because they're not interested in me and I pulled every trick to get past Bitzer!"
"Well, this pilot of the new series needs a story," said Shaun, "so I'll help you pull tricks up Bitzer's sleeves. Come on!"
At the brown wooden gate, Bitzer was on his deckchair, sun-bathing and reading USA Today. "Oh, look at that!" he yelled to himself. "An American remake of The Hunchback of Norte Dame. Sounds awesome!" He went to sleep, snoring.
Shaun and Steve tip-toed nearby. "All right? You remember the plan?" asked Shaun.
"Pop this bucket on his head and, when he wakes up, he thinks it'll be night-time," chuckled Steve.
"Yes!" yelled Shaun.
"Shh!" whispered Steve.
Bitzer was sound asleep. Steve gently popped the bucket over his head and he tip-toed to the gate, where Shaun was waiting. Then he opened the gate and walked out.
Out on the road, Shaun and Steve were laughing their heads off.
"That was so good, Shaun!" laughed Steve.
"Yes, I am a smart arse, aren't I?" chuckled Shaun.
"Not smart enough!" The boys stopped and turned around nervously. There stood a sheep called Hayley. "Where do you think you're going?"
"To find Steve a girl here," answered Shaun.
"Well, do you think you could get me a new boyfriend?" asked Hayley.
"This is the seventh boyfriend this month," moaned Shaun. "What do you do to keep getting yourself dumped all the time?"
"It's not me!" she yelled angrily. "It's them! Why do they keep leaving and moving onto the next girl? WHY?"
With that tone, Shaun and Steve saw "why". "In that case," said Shaun, breaking the silence, "you can come with us."
And off they went. Soon Shaun turned around and saw there was more sheep following them. The whole heard had come out.
Shaun stopped. "All right! Why are you following me? Where am I going that's interesting?"
"LIFE!" answered the sheep.
"I'm tired of being called fat," moaned Barry.
"I am this close to getting closer to a girl!" yelled Snot proudly.
"And I want to find some peter," joined in Toshi in Japanese.
Then Peter Griffin arrived. "Now, you've found one!"
"All right!" groaned Shaun. "The more the merrier! Come on!" But, as they continued, he whispered, "You'd think three wasn't a crowd!"
Back in the field, Bitzer, with the bucket still on his head, woke up, yawning. "Oh, it's night time," he yawned. "Oh, well." And he went back to sleep.
Two hours later, the bucket was yanked off. Bitzer woke up, terrified. "I don't want to die in Iraq!" He saw that he wasn't in Iraq, but in a big, empty, sheep-less field with the angry farmer.
"What do you call this?" the Farmer yelled.
"Uh, an empty field, sir," answered Bitzer.
"Yes, but do I want an empty field?"
"No."
"Then… WHY HAVE I GOT ONE?"
"I was…"
"Sleeping! I know! Do you know what I do to dogs that sleep on their jobs?"
"Put them in the doghouse?" asked Bitzer.
"No!" answered the farmer loudly. "I shoot them down, as no other farmer would have you!" He loaded his rifle and pulled the trigger…
"NO!" yelled Bitzer, through the bucket. He woke up and took the bucket off. The field was empty, but no angry farmer. He saw the gate had been left opened.
"Oh, my god!" Bitzer got up on his feet and ran on the road. He was running near the pig sty. The three pigs saw him run.
"Did you let those sheep escape again?" asked one of them.
"I think I hear a replacement coming in," chuckled another.
"He'd be a cracker!" added the third.
"Shut up, chubby losers!" yelled Bitzer and ran off. The insulted pigs stuck their middle fingers up to him.
Meanwhile, the sheep had completed their journey. They were outside another field, full of sheep. Everyone was amazed.
"Wow! Sexy chickens!" cried Snot, gazing at the female chickens in bikinis.
"Wow! Sexy boys!" cried Terry and Greg together.
"Wow! Delicious food!" cried Barry.
"Wow, indeed (!)" moaned Shaun, under his breath.
"Wow! Lost sheep!" The sheep turned around and found Bitzer, standing there with his paws on his hips. "What do you think you were doing?"
"Allow me to explain, my good dog," began Shaun. "We want life; to get out, to explore and not be cooped up in a damn field. Unlike you who sits on your deckchair, bosses around and sleeps in a cozy kitchen!"
"That kitchen is not as warm as you think it is!" argued Bitzer. "It's smelly and I only use my deckchair when I'm tired."
"Then you shouldn't be a guard dog if you're too weak," whispered Shaun.
Bitzer heard that and growled at him.
"Mr. Bitzer," interrupted Snot, "if we don't get back to the field soon, the farmer will be looking for us."
"He'll turn us into lamb!" shouted Barry.
"As in roasted lamb?" Then Francine screamed, too. All of the sheep screamed.
"My master is going to have my head!" cried Bitzer.
"SHUT UP!" shouted Shaun very loudly that the wool on his head flew off. He quickly caught it and put it back on. "We're wasting time arguing and fighting, when we should actually be getting back. Now come on!"
Bitzer and the sheep ran.
"If the farmer is there, what do I tell him?" asked Bitzer.
After thinking, Shaun got the perfect idea.
Meanwhile, back at the farm, the farmer was traveling in his tractor. "What a day!" moaned the farmer. "It's good to have lots of land, but it takes a lot of hard work. Why can't animals just feed themselves or clean themselves up?"
He parked the tractor near the sheep field and went out to look. He was shocked to see that the field was empty as a useless shell! "What the hell is going on here?" he yelled, shaking his head in fear and steaming his glasses up. Then –
He heard Bitzer's whistling. "Sir!" he cried. "It's all right! I found them!" The long-suffering dog turned around to the bushes. "Are you ready?" he whispered.
"Yeah!" cried the sheep normally.
"Painfully!" whispered Bitzer again.
"Y-y-yeah!" And the sheep came out of the bushes, moaning and groaning with their splinters and horns in their wool-less legs. They went to the field and fell down.
The farmer was dead shocked. He nearly fainted. "I'll go and get help!" And he ran in the house.
The sheep took their bits off and laughed their teeth out!
"We did it, Bitzer!" cheered Shaun.
"Indeed, we did!" agreed Bitzer, getting out a bottle of Jacob's Creek and two glasses. He poured them and he and Shaun were about to toast their success, when –
Bitzer heard the farmer's throat clearing. Everyone stopped and turned around to see the Farmer and a vet there.
"What the devil's going on, Bitzer!" asked the farmer angrily.
"You didn't need to call them, sir," said Bitzer, trying to hide his worries. "They, uh… don't need to be examined. It's not their… What is the final English – "
"GCSEs," answered Shaun.
"Yeah, that's right," finished Bitzer.
But the farmer wasn't concentrating on Bitzer or Shaun. He was in an argument with the vet. "Look, I'm sorry, Dr. Francine, but – "
"I'm sorry, farmer," interrupted D. Francine, "but we need the money and I can't let you off. Give me two hundred pounds."
The farmer unwillingly wasted no time by doing so. When Dr. Francine left the farm, the farmer angrily picked Bitzer up and took him inside the house.
"No! Please, sir! It wasn't my fault!" pleaded Bitzer.
"If you were to prevent them from escaping, it's your fault and your fault alone!" yelled the farmer.
Shaun and the herd went to the window of the house. They laughed their aching bellies to death as they saw the farmer lying on the sofa, with empty beer bottles on the floor. Bitzer had to pick up the bottles and soak up the beer on the carpet.
Just as the poor dog had finished, the farmer yawned and a different liquid landed on the floor. Bitzer smelled it and nearly threw up.
"Do you fancy your master?" Shaun joked through the window. Everyone laughed at this, except Bitzer who was now growling through the window. But Shaun quickly turned away and toasted his success with both glasses of red wine.
THE END