A/N: This is my first time writing a story in third person. I know that my third person narratives could use some work, so here we go. Also, sorry for the slow updates. I somehow managed to hurt my right hand and my last three fingers feel permanently asleep. Not sure what's wrong, maybe I'll go see a dr. soon if I can afford it. Anyway, that makes typing a bit slow and annoying, but I had this idea and I didn't want to let it slip away before I typed it out.
Pocky
We find our favorite four boys at the Marsh residence, having a sleep over to celebrate finishing the first, painfully slow, year of high school. Some might say that still having sleepovers at the age of 14 was kind of, well, gay. But this was a celebration between bros. Nothing gay about it, no sir.
The four sit in Stan's bedroom; Stan taking the bed, Cartman in his office chair beside his desk, leaving Kenny and Kyle to sit on the floor. They had just finished playing Smash Bros on Stan's new Wii U, and were recovering from the shuddering sight of Cartman's 'victory dance'.
"This game sucks, let's do something else." Kyle snorts as he tosses his controller aside.
"You're just saying that because I'm winning Kyle, I've won every round if your little Jew brain remembers correctly!" Cartman says back, matter-of-factly.
Kyle grunts back at him and shouts, "Don't belittle my people, you fat fuck!"
"It's not my fault you Jews are losers Kahl! Maybe you'd have better luck if you weren't playing as Wii Fit Trainer! Why are you playing as her anyway? She's laaaame."
"I think she's hot" Kenny butts in.
"And you!" Cartman points at Kenny "What's with you playing as Princess Peach?"
"I like being a girl, what's wrong with that?" Kenny shrugs as if it isn't as big of a deal as Cartman is making it out to be.
"You always like being a girl, fag!"
Stan pinches the bridge of his nose and mutters "I'm done. I agree with Kyle, let's do something else. Cartman, did you bring Cards Against Humanity?" He asks expectantly.
They all seem to just now notice that Cartman was the only one who didn't bring an overnight bag.
"Where's your stuff fatass? Aren't you sleeping over?" Stan asks.
"Nah, I'm not sleeping here with you gay-wads. I'll enjoy my bed all to myself thank you!"
Kyle doesn't seem to buy that answer, but says nothing as he wasn't looking forward to sharing the floor pallet with Cartman anyway. His thought process is cut off by Cartman's phone vibrating and blaring Poker Face by GAGA.
He slides the green button over and places it to his ear, "Yello?"
His phone is loud enough that the others can hear the high-pitched tone of his mother on the other end.
"Poopsiekins, it's about time you came home and went to bed hun. You know you start summer school tomorrow!"
Kenny tries his best to muffle his laughs with the back of his hand. Summer school? Even Kenny managed to raise his average enough this year to avoid that bombshell.
Cartman's face reddens from fury and embarrassment. He wasn't about to tell these assholes that he failed his final exams, but unfortunately his mother had unintentionally ratted him out.
"Okay mom, I'm on my way, Jeez." He ends the call before she has time to reply. He looks up at the other three looking back at him with shit-eating grins. So, that was the real reason he wasn't staying the night.
"Summer school? Damn you suck Cartman." Kyle snickers. The others join him in his laughter.
Cartman stands up, slides his shoes on and walks towards the door. "You guys are lame anyway, screw you guys, I'm going home!" and with that, he storms out, slamming the door behind him.
The chuckling dies down and Kenny lets out a sigh of relief. "God, I thought he'd never leave." He says as he starts digging through his old torn up duffle bag. He grins when he finds what he's looking for, a half full bottle of Whiskey.
Kyles eyes widen with shock while Stan's perk slightly with curiosity.
"Where did you even get that Kenny?" Kyle askes quietly, as if they would be caught right then and there.
"Kevin gave it to me… well, more like I found it under his bed while he was at work." Kenny smirks a bit.
Stan takes the bottle from Kenny and slowly unscrews the cap, taking a deep inhale of the toxic aroma coming from the opening. His mouth watered as the liquor filled his nose with the familiar scent of his past. He hadn't had a drink for almost 4 years, finding it more difficult to hide once his mom unexpectedly went through his sock drawer and found his secret stash. Since he was forced into sobriety, he learned to cope with life on his own. Here and now though, the temptation was right here and it was hard to pass up this opportunity presented to him. He looked at the bottle in his hands, moving it slightly, watching the tempting liquid swirl inside. He wanted to drink it. He was almost positive that he never wanted anything more in his life. Kyle suddenly spoke quietly, interrupting his thoughts.
"Kenny, you know Stan gave up drinking. Besides, I don't drink and neither do you!" Kyle whispers.
"There's a first time for everything" Kenny says, not bothering to return Kyle's hushed tone. "Besides, one night isn't gonna hurt him. I won't give him anymore after tonight. Come on Kyle, we're celebrating! Don't be such a pussy!"
Kyle looked torn for a second. Looking between Kenny who had a pleading look on his face and Stan who was still staring into the bottle, biting his bottom lip with guilt. He had always wondered what all the fuss was about when it came to alcohol. Stan drank for a while and he seemed okay for the most part. If Stan thought it wasn't so bad, maybe it wasn't. With a sigh, he got up off the floor and locked the bedroom door.
"Okay, fine, but JUST THIS ONCE!" he gives up, joining Kenny back on the floor. Stan slid off the bed to join the two on his floor, so they could all see each other better.
Kenny snatches the bottle from Stan's grip and hands it over to Kyle. He takes a minute to examine the contents of the bottle in his hands before hesitantly bringing it up to his lips.
"Wait!" Stan said, holding up his index finger. He reaches beside him and pulls a can of Coke out of his mini-fridge. He opens the can and hands it to Kyle, who gives him a confused look. "Trust my Ky, you're gonna need it."
Kyle continues his skeptical glance for a second before turning his attention back to the whiskey in his right hand. He brings the bottle up to his mouth and lets a bit of the liquid slide past his slightly parted lips. The look on his face somewhat resembles a mix of someone who just ate escargot for the first time, and a baby who just had it's first lemon. He immediately pulls the Coke to his mouth and takes several desperate gulps.
"That, is fucking disgusting, and it fucking burns! Ugh!" Kyle sticks his tongue out, glaring at Kenny, who is chuckling wildly.
Kyle shoves the bottle back to Kenny who willingly takes it. Stan watches the bottle move, as if it's gonna disappear before he can get his hands back on it. Kenny brings the bottle up to his lips and takes a big swig, as if to prove his masculinity. Karma kicks him in the ass as he half chokes and desperately reaches for the coke in Kyles hand, drinking nearly half of it.
"What's the matter Kenny? Does it burn?" Kyle asks using heavy sarcasm.
Stan looks over at Kenny expectantly, and grabs the bottle before Kenny has time to extend it to him. He brings it up to his watering mouth and takes several big gulps, tiling the bottle upwards to allow more liquid intoxication to enter his mouth at once. Once he brings it away from his mouth, he lets out a slight moan and licks his lips. He looks at the other two who were sporting looks of bewilderment.
"What?" He asks.
"Um… nothin'… do you… want some Coke?" Kenny asks, extending the can towards Stan.
"No, I'm good, thanks."
Kyle looks to Stan with a look of amazement.
"Dude, doesn't it burn?" Kyle asks.
"You get used to it… after a while it starts to feel… kind of good?" Stan says, looking down in slight embarrassment.
"Why would you want it to burn? Why would anyone want to drink that shit?"
Kenny chuckles "People don't drink to enjoy the alcohol Kyle, they drink to get drunk! Being drunk is fun, or so I heard. What's it like being drunk Stan?"
Stan looks between the other two in his room, who were looking at him expectantly.
"I guess… It's I… I don't know… It's different for everyone."
They both seem to accept his answer and give him a nod. Kenny reaches for the bottle again, and slowly takes another small, experimental sip. His face scrunches and he takes another swig of the coke.
"You're gonna keep drinking that?" Kyle asks, as if he doesn't believe his eyes.
"You heard Stan, everyone is different; and he's right, the burn isn't so bad the second time. Aren't you the slightest bit curious about what it feels like to be drunk Kyle?" Kenny asks, waving the bottle in front of Kyles face.
Stan looks at Kyle with a small smile. His eyes look a little glossy.
"You okay Stan?" Kyle asks, slight worry hiding in his voice.
"Yeah, I'm great, just a little warm."
"I think it's actually kind of cold in here." Kyle says, crossing his arms across his chest and rubbing his arms.
Stan lets out a slight chuckle. "No, I mean warm… from the booze… you know." His smile fades when both teens give him a curious look. They didn't know. They had never drank before tonight, and compared to him, they hadn't had any at all. With a sigh he continues, "I can't really explain it. It's just kind of something you have to experience for yourself."
Kyle grabs for the whiskey that Kenny had placed on the ground between them, and takes another drink, this one bigger than the last. It burned going down and he takes the Coke and downs the rest of it.
"Ugh" He lets out, as he feels the burn still lingering in his throat.
Stan smiles and grabs two more sodas from his mini-fridge, handing one to each of his counterparts. He couldn't help but chuckle as he watched the two of them pass the bottle back and forth, taking sissy sips and making faces. He takes the bottle from Kenny after he and Kyle had taken about four or five swigs each, and takes three more huge gulps. He smiles a bit as he looks between the two of them, noticing that their cheeks were starting to redden a bit from the alcohol. He could tell they would start feeling it in four… three… two…
"Duuude…I totally get you now dude, it's fucking hot in here." Kenny says, as he slides his orange parka off one arm and seems to have trouble getting the other arm out of it's sleeve.
Kyle watches his struggle, and lets out an uncontrollable string of laughter. He starts to stand and immediately falls back onto his ass. "Whoa."
"You okay Kyle?" Stan smirks.
"Yeah, um… Gravity works!"
They all let out a roar of laughter, now all clearly buzzed to say the least.
"Are the edges of you guy's vision fuzzy? Mine is kind of fuzzy." Kyle asks curiously. He reaches his hands out in front of him and starts to move them slowly, his eyes sluggishly following.
Stan laughs again. Kenny nods. The three sit there for a minute or two, before they start passing the bottle again. Kyle and Kenny seem to have adjusted nicely to the drink, only needing small sips of Coke to ease the burn. Stan takes a few more big swigs before handing it back to Kenny, who puts the lid back on and slides it back into his overnight bag. Once his hand is inside his duffle bag a light bulb goes off in his blonde little head. He smirks as he grabs the object his hand just grazed.
"Heeeey…" He slurs, clearly drunk. "You guys wanna play a gaaaame?" he smirks and pulls out a small box of Pocky.
"What kind of *hiccup* game?" Kyle slurs.
"It's a game to test masculinity." He wiggles his eyebrows. "It will prove to us who is most comfortable in their sexuality."
"That sounds gay" Stan replies, struggling now with his words, clearly more drunk then he first thought.
"Actually, it's to see who is the most confident."
"Just tell us how to play" Kyle whines, clearly bored.
Kenny pulls out a Pocky stick and holds it up to show the others. "It's kind of like, Gay Chicken. Two people start at opposite ends, and start eating. If you get scared and chicken out, you lose. Whoever chickens out the least wins!"
"What happens if neither one of you chickens out?" Stan asks, not sure where this was going.
Kenny smirks, "Well, then you just meet in the middle, and sort of… Kiss…" he says 'kiss' under his breath.
"What?" Kyle and Stan exclaim in unison.
Kenny sticks the chocolate end into his mouth and mumbles around the stick "Okay, who wants to go first?"
"Dude, how is that not gay?" Stan asks.
"Because Stan" Kenny rolls his eyes and sloppily takes the treat out of his mouth, "If you can kiss a guy and not feel weird about it, it means you're as straight as they come. What? Are you afraid to kiss a guy? It's just a kiss, don't be a fucking pussy!" He slurs a bit.
"Ugh, whatever" Stan groans before snatching the stick from Kenny and putting the opposite end into his mouth.
Kenny gives a devilish smirk before scooting closer to Stan and taking his end back into his mouth. They both start to nibble, getting closer slowly. Stan looks at Kenny in front of him and he starts to feel nervous. Kenny smirks slightly and gives Stan a wink. Stan's eyes shoot open and he immediately backs away.
"Dude, no."
Kenny starts laughing as he shoves the rest of the cookie into his mouth, enjoying the chocolaty goodness.
"You're such a chicken dude!" Kenny laughs.
Kyle starts to laugh along with him, alcohol convincing him that this is hilarious.
"What are you laughing at Kyle? You think you can do better?" Stan challenges.
"I know I can, I'm confident in my sexuality!" Kyle smirks.
"M'kay, c'mere then," Kenny mumbles, a new stick tucked between his lips.
Kyle's smile drops a bit as Kenny scoots closer to him. He hesitantly takes the other end between his teeth. The game begins and Kyle takes a few tiny nibbles, as Kenny takes obviously larger bites, closing the gap between them quickly. Once Kyle can feel Kenny breathe out his nose, he realizes how painfully close they really are. His eyes shoot open and his cheeks turn scarlet. He backs away quickly and turns his head to the side.
Kenny lets out a victory laugh and starts to taunt "I win! Ha! Now, let's find out who the ultimate loser is, shall we?"
He hands a stick to Stan and gestures to Kyle. Stan rolls his eyes but proceeds to put the cookie in his mouth, and scoots closer to Kyle.
"I won't lose!" Kyle says, more to himself than the others.
"Heh, yeah sure, okay." Stan snickers.
Kyle scowls and takes his end. He and Stan look each other in the eyes, completely wrapped up in their competitive natures at this point. They both refuse to pull away, but stop nibbling once their mouths are about half an inch apart. They don't move, they just stare, waiting for the other to back away. They are both taken by surprise when they feel the mischievous blond grab the back of their heads and smash them together. Everything meets with extreme force; their foreheads, noses, and lips smash together uncomfortably. Kenny bursts out with an uncontrollable laughter.
"Oh man, you guys should have seen your faces! That, was fucking priceless!" Kenny laughs again.
"You fucking asshole!" Stan snaps, "That wasn't fucking funny!"
Kyle's competitive nature shows again when he lets out a small chuckle. "Actually Stan, it is kind of funny. If you think about it, we… um… kissed." He shudders but quickly regains himself. "Kenny didn't kiss anyone, so that means WE win and HE loses!"
"Hey, yeah!" Stan says.
"You guys backed away, I totally would have won!" Kenny defends.
"Oh really? Prove it!" Kyle taunts and places another stick between his lips.
Kenny crawls over to Kyle and snatches the stick out of his mouth before smashing his lips onto his, giving him a passionate kiss. Kyle's eyes fly open as Kenny starts to push him down to the carpet. He shoves his tongue into the red-heads mouth before he is forcefully pushed away.
"Okay, okay… you win. Jesus!" Kyle sits up before backing up a bit.
Kenny gives a huge grin and grabs the bottle of whiskey again, holding it up high in the air. "This liquid courage is some damn good stuff!"
"Kenny?" Stan asks cautiously "You… you aren't straight, are you?"
Kenny lets out a chuckle and puts the whiskey to his lips again. "Nope"
End!
I hope you guys enjoyed! I thought this was a hilarious idea, and I just had to put it down. Please be sure to review so I can know what you guys think!