A/n: Hey everyone. I am back with yet another Castle fanfiction. The end of last night's episode "Headhunters" begged for a fanfic to be written. Honestly, when we aren't getting a new episode for two weeks AND they end an episode the way that "Headhunters" ended, it is basically like an assembly call for all fanfic writers to get cracking...err rather typing. Obviously, this IS going to contain spoilers for Headhunters, so you have been warned. Please review. Reviews are the fuel that keeps writers like me writing. That being said, enjoy!
Disclaimer: Do you really think that Castle and Beckett would still not be dating if I were the owner of the show? Anything you recognize isn't mine.
After getting home from the precinct that night, Kate allowed herself time to process all the emotions which had risen to the surface during the time Castle had shadowed Slaughter. She couldn't help but worry she had missed her chance. She was ready now, but maybe he had moved on. That's what these past few days had seemed like at least. The confusing, albeit somewhat reassuring part of it all was that he had come back to her in the end. He was still her partner.
These past few days of watching Castle work with Slaughter had been tough to say the least. All she had wanted was for her partner, the man she had fallen in love with, to come back. It had seemed he had moved on, and with one of the most reckless replacements at that. The man could have gotten Castle killed. She had only been hoping that Castle would come to his senses and come back to the team—to her. So, she watched the case unfold from afar. She had the gut feeling they had the wrong man, but couldn't interfere and it seemed that Castle didn't want her involved anyway.
Still, she found herself doing some digging on the off chance he would come to her for help. He had already gone to Ryan and Esposito for help. She figured she was next. Sure enough, late in the afternoon, he came up to her. Her heart had clenched painfully when she saw him in the doorway. She figured he was just there to get her to do some scut work so he could look cool in front of his new partner.
As it turned out, Castle genuinely felt that Slaughter had gone too far in pressuring a false confession from a kid. He wanted justice, so she had helped him. She had known the risk to her career as a detective as soon as she took the case on; however, she wanted justice, the same as Castle. Also, as the little tiny voice in the back of her head reminded her, it was because Castle asked her for help. If she was honest with herself, she knew that she was willing to do just about anything for that man, even risk her career.
As it turned out Slaughter had caught onto her interloping on his case, but luckily for her, she and Castle had solved the case and Slaughter had dropped the issue.
She couldn't help but reflect on their parting words that evening.
"Hey," Castle had said, his blue eyes shining up at her, still trying to recover from Slaughter's punch, "thanks very much for your help"
She had responded, "No problem Castle. It's what partners are supposed to do."
As she had walked away, she could feel Castle's eyes watching her the whole time.
She wished that they were more than partners, but as long as he was back on her team, she would take what she could get. She needed that man in her life, even if it was just destined to be as friends.
Kate sighed. Hopefully now, at least, she would have her Castle back. Not the one chasing after blonde bimbos like she had seen the past few weeks.
She went into the bathroom and started getting ready to go to bed. It had been a long day. She changed into some comfy clothes to sleep in and had just removed her makeup when she heard someone knocking at her door. She glanced at the clock on the wall; it was a little after midnight. Who would be knocking at her door at this hour?
She softly padded over the door and peeked through the peephole to see who was on the other side.
Surprised and a little worried, she opened the door. "Castle? What are you doing here? Is everything alright?"
He seemed to take her in. Glancing down, she realized that she was only in a baggy t-shirt and some boxer shorts. She rolled her eyes. "My face is up here Castle."
That seemed to snap him out of whatever was going through his mind and he blurted out "Not just partners."
Of all the things to say, this was not what she expected. "What?" she questioned as her mind grappled with what he had just said.
Castle clarified, "Not just partners. We haven't been just partners in a long time and I think you know it Kate."
She vaguely registered his use of her first name as she tried to process the meaning behind his words. Could he mean…?
She held the door open for him when it seemed to register to Castle that he was still standing in her hallway. As she shut the door behind him, she carefully questioned, "By not just partners, you mean…?"
He looked at her steadily, "I think you know Kate. What do you remember from the day of your shooting? And please, be honest for both our sakes."
She looked at him. Could he already know she remembered? How could he? Well, if he already knew the truth, it wouldn't hurt repeating it, and if he didn't, well, he deserved to know.
She took a deep breath and responded with one word, "Everything."
Castle nodded as if this was not unexpected information. "How long?"
Well, as long as she was being honest, "I never forgot," she responded.
His voice was quiet when he asked, "Why didn't you tell me? It has been eleven months since the shooting and seven since you came back. "
She forced herself to meet his bright blue eyes. They were filled with hurt and a bit of betrayal.
She started to respond as honestly as she could. "I'm so sorry Rick. Last May, was a bad time for me. I had just watched my friend and mentor be shot after I found out he had been keeping information on my mother's murder secret. Then, I was shot myself. I nearly died Castle. I was so broken, and when I woke up after the shooting, I couldn't get your words out of my head. They were the first thing that came to my mind after waking up. And then Josh was there. While I knew we had to break up, I was still with him at the time. I couldn't give you what you needed then, so it was easier to tell you I didn't remember. I'm not proud of the fact that I lied. You deserved the truth. I really am sorry Rick."
Rick took a while to process her words. "Why didn't you tell me any time in the past few months? We have been back together for seven months now Kate. Is it because you didn't know how to tell me that you weren't interested?"
"No!" she blurted out, "it wasn't like that at all. When you began shadowing me again, I was still hurting and broken. You remember that day on the swings, when I mentioned that wall? I needed time to work on getting that wall down before I began dating anyone again. I couldn't tell you because I was broken Rick. When I told you I remembered, I wanted to be whole."
"Kate, you can show your scars around me. I want you just as you are."
Kate caught the use of the present tense in that last sentence. "You want me? Still? You haven't moved on?"
"I will answer that, but first, can you answer something for me?"
Kate nodded, "Anything."
"How do you feel now?"
Kate took a deep breath. She was going to be putting her heart on the line here. While she knew in her heart that she loved him, she wasn't sure whether she could say the words yet.
"You have come to mean so much to me these past four years. You have become more to me than just a partner and friend. I want to be with you Castle. Now, do you still mean what you said last May?"
Castle nodded, "I do. I love you Kate."
She felt her heart clench and before Castle knew what was happening, she stepped towards him, grabbed the back of his head, and pulled him in for a kiss. It took him a couple of seconds to respond, but when he did, it was wonderful. His hands moved to pull her in closer as he deepened the kiss. She couldn't get enough of this kiss—him. This was finally happening. She loved him.
When they finally ran out of air, they broke apart, leaning their foreheads against each other while catching their breath. Eventually, she spoke, "So, where does this leave us?"
"After that kiss, we'd better be dating," Castle murmured with a lighthearted smile on his face.
She chuckled. "I think I would be agreeable to that."
Suddenly, the tiring emotions of the day and the late hour caught up to her. She pulled away just as a huge yawn hit her.
Castle smiled. "Alright, time to go to bed. I had better head home."
"You can stay if you want," Kate offered shyly.
"Kate, as much as I would like to, I don't think we're ready for that step in our relationship yet."
"I meant to sleep. Both of us are exhausted and it is around 12:30 in the morning."
"Okay, I would be agreeable to that. Let me send a text to my daughter and mother so they will know where I am in the morning."
Kate nodded and padded into the bathroom while he sent the text. She grabbed a spare toothbrush from a drawer for Castle and proceeded to brush her own teeth. She was just rinsing out her mouth when he came in.
As she handed him the toothbrush and pointed out the toothpaste, she reflected upon the fact that it was somewhat surreal sharing her bathroom with Castle, just like they were a couple—which they actually were. That thought brought a grin to her face. Having noticed her expression, Castle managed to get out a "What?" through a mouthful of toothpaste. She smiled. "We're a couple." She didn't know whether her current giddiness was due to their situation or the late hour, likely a combination of the two actually, but she couldn't remember a time in the last few months when she had felt this happy.
After spitting out his toothpaste and rinsing, he smiled at her, agreed, "Yeah we are," and pulled her in for a quick kiss, which grew deeper quickly. When this time Castle had to break away in order to yawn, Kate flipped off the light switch in the bathroom, grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom. She crawled into bed and felt Rick scoot in behind her. She felt his arm wrap around her waist and heard him whisper "Goodnight Kate." She responded, "Goodnight Rick," and felt perfectly safe, warm and content as she drifted off to sleep.