A/N: And here I've hit the hardest yet in my string of Remus Smut…. The last one, for those who are interested in checking it out, was Remus/Demelza Robins. This one, though, when I realized I was going to have to do it, really hit me as problematic, because I honestly couldn't think of how to do this plausibly…SO I decided to go completely parody and channel not the actual Dolores and Remus, but the AVPS versions of them…so picture Joe Walker and Brian Holden. That's how I'm doing this. And that gives me warm fuzzies. :D This is COMPLETELY out of my comfort zone, so enjoy me being not myself at all.
-C
He had sworn he wasn't going to get fired. Remus reminded himself that as he tried to rationalize all of his behavior and emotions of the day. It all started when she tried to fire him and his instincts of panic took over.
Instead of letting her fire him, of going out with a bit of dignity, he asked her out, as if shamelessly although he felt quite ashamed of himself, in front of his entire class and Snape, whose jaw actually dropped with shock and disgust.
One thing had led to another, and pretty soon she was not only calling her his boyfriend, but they had actually slept together and Remus found he hadn't minded. In fact…it was nice to have a woman he could be a bit rough with, who could take the abuse of his inner wolf.
Sure, once he had her he'd had to give up on the dream of Cho Chang, but nothing good came easy.
Wait, did he just inwardly muse that Umbridge was a good thing? Perhaps he had. Perhaps it was true. He'd kept his job, she'd loosened up on the students…. It was a win for everyone, wasn't it?
Except for Dumbledore, who was never allowed to come back again.
A/N: So that's as much as I can make myself write of this. UGH. I feel disgusting. Sorry. That was a serious disappointment.
-C