Jasper, did you just eat Bella, because that's called cannibalism!
disclaimer: i dont own twilight...damn
okay, so this is my first ever story and ive already got my editor mad cause im so hyped up its probably a load of random words...sorry if you think it is...very hyper....
Chapter 1
Holly: hey hey, jasper, how's it going?
Jasper: *does shifty eyes* erm...fine, it's going fine...
Holly: okay...hey jasper, is that a bit of blood you have on your face, like, human blood...? *dun dun duh music*...cause if it is Bella will totally squeal...*a little muffed squeal sounds from jaspers stomach* huh? That's odd...
Jasper: ...WHAT? I didn't do anything! I swear! ...well...I did but it was her fault! She walked by like a headless chicken and sang about carrots and...I ATE HER!!! *dun dun duh music again*
Holly: ...oh the carrot song...how truly brilliant it is...*starts singing* ohhh carrotania, carrotania rules the world dun dun dundundundun duh duh duhhhh duhhhhhhh *does the song in the theme of the Britannia song...you know the one i mean*
Edward: *in a place in Australia somewhere* NOOOOOOO! Not Bella! She's meant to have my children!
Holly: oh hush up I'll have your children for you if I must...
Edward: ...*silenced by what Holly said*erm...I kinda wanted them from Bella...
Holly: *mutters* fussy vampire...
Alice: ...How can you eat Bella...seriously...she's in your stomach right now?...that's...BEYOND COOL!...hey! Jasper! Can you eat other people? Can i eat you Holly?
Holly: ewww...no Alice...only Edward has that right...
Alice: Edward *does puppy dog face* can i eat Holly?
Edward: *rushed back from Australia and is staring into jaspers stomach as if he were giving birth to bella* whatever...i don't care...*starts stroking his stomach * bella...can you hear me...
Jasper: im not pregnant edward , i ate her...
Alice: yesssss! *squints at Holly* hmm...*grabs salt and pours it over Holly* perfect...
Holly: NOOOOOO! Your meant to save me Edward! No don't let alice eat meeeeee! *tries to run away* EDWARD! HELP!
Emmett: carrots rock! *everyone stares at him for a second before realising Emmett said it...he says a lot of random stuff*
Holly: *stops and thinks about what emmet just said * heck yeah they do! Woo! Carrots rock!
Rosalie: Im not so sure...i mean...orange? so last year! *does a hair flicky thing*
Holly: go suck on a lemon rosie! Cause carrots rule! Hey just do! End of sory!
Edward: no! Its not the end! Bellas still eaten by jasper!
Holly: well it's going to end because I don't want to be eaten by alice!
Edward: fair douze
Carlisle: hey you guys! Do you wanna go bother people?
Everyone: heck yeah!
*find people and start jumping around them surrounding them*
Everyone: bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother!
The people who were surrounded: nooo! Stop with the bothering! I cant take anymore of it! It burns! Avada kadavra!
Emmett: hey! Only witches and wizards can say that!
Holly: avada kadavra!
Alice: anything you want to tell us?
Holly: *shifty eyes* ...erm...*said the way dumbuldor says it to harry* your a wizard, alice
Alice: *gives evil, knowing glare* sooo not what i meant...
Emmett: c'mon, tell the truth
Holly: i...like...vegetables...
Emmett: *points finger accusingly* she lies! She lies!
Rosalie: *smacks Emmett over the head and yells* Its rude to point Emmett! Everyone knows this!
Carlisle: wow, you sound like your deaf Rosalie...but of course, that cant happen...so...
The people they were bothering: Back to the story!
Holly: fine, i have a confession to make...*takes a look back at Edward who is still holding onto jaspers belly trying to talk to bella while jasper sits, bored out of his skull* ...the leprechauns are coming for war with the pixies...
Emmett : I knew it!
Alice: ahem, it was ME who knew it...and....*does a serious heroic face like they do in war movies* if its war they want, its war they'll get...*dun dun duh music sound for like the 3rd time*
*insert a load of really boring adverts here*
Holly: so...anyone up for pizza? I know this great place where you ca-
Jasper: AHHH! I think my waters just broke!
Edward: *with an evil gleam in his eyes* yesssss! Bella here you come! Woop woop *does a really bad dance move*
Holly: hey! Your meant to be good at dancing...im not sure if i love you anymore Edward... *looks away but sneaks a look back to make sure Edward saw*
Edward: *groans* fine....*starts doing the waltz by himself*
Holly: okay! I love you again!
Edward: yesss! Oh wait...no! i love bella! I love bella! *smacks his head to get it into his head*
Holly: don't smack too hard love, you need the brain cells!
Jasper: (very angry!) stop fussing over him and pay attention to the man whos water just broke!!!!
Alice: wow...someone's a bit hormonal...
Emmett: awww! Rose, i wanna be pregnant!
Rosalie: ha ha! You wish! Im gonna be pregnant before you!
Emmett: is that a bet i hear?
Holly: erm...no...that would be jaspers cries of pain an- *someone tells clueless holly what he means* ohhh! I get it he he yes, yes i think it is
Carlisle: killed the joke, dead, buried-
Holly: ohhh! Can i go to the funeral?
Carlisle: oh dear *shakes head in disappointment*
Esme: *fighting in the background with Rosalie for who gets to eat Holly* shes mine bitch! Go get your own human, you were never that fond of her anyways!
Holly: *sniff sniff* Rosie...is that true...? *bursts out crying*
Rosalie: no! Of course not *tries to be comforting* can i eat you now? *still in a comforting tone*
Holly: *stopped crying* erm....how about a- HECK NO!
Jasper: trust me rosie its not something you enjoy! OUCH!
Alice: can we get back to the war coming very soon? Now, i think we should get a load of guitars and smash it over their heads and we ca-
Carlisle: guitars? Why guitars?
Alice: Cause thats on my list of things to do! Plus, its gonna be so cool!
Everyone: oh! Ah yeah! Hey, thats on my list too!
Emmett: what else is on that list of things to do? *gives a curious face*
Alice: oh, you shall all find out very soon! Very soon indeed!
Emmett: how do you know that? You could end up never telling us or telling us when Holly is really old and will be asking us to repeat what we said over and over again
Holly: thanks, Emmett, and i plan to be a vampire once Edward finds out how much hes loves me more than bella
Alice: i know beacuase....i can see the future...ohhhhhh, yes i can see into the future *does little scary hand bit while everyone stares at her bored with cricket noises in the background (the insect not the game!)*
Randomer: we already knew that stupid! *throws a beer bottle a her* get out of the story! Booooo!
Alice: *trying to dodge beer bottles* help help! Jasper! Help me!
Jasper: I'm pregnant, bitch!
Alice: *muttering to herself* damn! *runs away*
So, as alice runs away, the war is coming nearer, will jasper ever have the baby, will esme and Rosalie ever eat Holly, will Edward ever get his bella back? Find out...NEXT TIMEEEE
Preview...
Holly: Hows the baby jasper?
Jasper: meh, she whines a lot, i might eat her again
Bella: hey! Get off me! Im not a baby! I want to go home! Let me go, i want to see Edward!
Holly: *smiles* they grow up so fast *gets a tear to her eye*
..................................
wow, so thats the chapter, if you think its better than crap then ask for another, i have many ideas, so please REVIEWWWW! wooo! thank you xx