Black Rain
By the Almighty SporkGoddess
Right when my doorbell rang, that's when I knew that something was wrong. I had been expecting it for some reason, although why I did not know. Perhaps it was just the ominous cloud in the air, the one that had been surrounding me for a while. Kikka sensed it, and asked why I was pale; was I not feeling well? I told her that I was feeling fine, but then asked her and Retsu to do something—I think it was to go check on the baby, who was sleeping peacefully in the other room.
My legs were unsteady as I walked to the door, and when I opened it to see Amuro, the rest of me began to tremble as well. He asked to sit down, then told me that I should sit down as well; so I led him inside and we both sat down on the couch.
"Frau…" He began.
"It's Hayato, isn't it?" I said quietly. He didn't respond, but laid a hand upon my shoulder. I noticed that he wasn't meeting my gaze, and that affirmed it. Still, I'd been bothered for days. I had to hear it, just hear it, and then I'd finally know.
Tell me, Amuro!" I pleaded."I…"
"Just say it quickly. Please." He looked at me, finally, with an expression that I hadn't seen from him in such a long time, and then only spoke one word…but it was enough.
Dublin. There had been nothing but Dublin on the news ever since it was destroyed by the colony dropping. Many had died. Refugees were finally starting to tell their stories, about the eerie silence as the colony obliterated an entire city; about the black rain that fell in torrents afterwards. That was all that I had been able to bring myself to watch, because the ship Audomura had been mentioned too often for my comfort. I knew that it was a Karaba ship, and that my husband was on it. Perhaps that was how I had known…
I was brought back to earth as my friend placed his other hand on my shoulder and brought me close to him. Long ago I would have cherished this moment… but so much had changed since then, and now I found myself wishing that it was my husband who was holding me now. Still, I clung to him, as if I was drowning and he was my only buoy. In a way, I suppose, I was drowning: emotions overwhelmed me and made me unable to breathe.
"I'm so sorry, Frau." He was crying now. I wasn't sure if I was or not; I felt numb.
"Why did it have to be him, Amuro?" I asked. Not even the great Newtype could answer such a question, however.
"He… he died a hero. He died saving people."
He had changed so much. Hayato had always been the one who needed support. Forming Karaba had changed that, but I had never thought that it would go that far, I thought, then felt immediately ashamed, as if I had underestimated him.
"Civillians?"
"Yes."
I wanted to ask why he had done that, but I couldn't. He had died saving others. Wouldn't anyone have done that? But I couldn't help feeling selfish. He'd always needed me… and I had eventually come to need him.
"There's just so much to take in…" I admitted,
"It's understandable. Frau, if there's anything I can do…"
"Don't worry about me." I tried to smile, but I don't think that I succeeded very well. "Didn't you tell me once that I was stronger than that?"
He looked confused, as if wondering how I could say something like that at a time such as this. "Well, yes, but…"
"He died a hero. At least that is our final memory of him." I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye, though… My eyes flooded with tears, but I brushed them away. "I have to stay strong for the children."
"The children, that's right…" I knew that he and I were thinking the same thing. First their brother Katsu, and now their father… and how would I ever tell them?
"I can't hide it from them, you know. I have to tell them."
"I know."
"I still have them. And the baby… Hayato's baby. I'm not alone."
"And you have me." He reminded me.
I thought of my relationship with Amuro.
"Yes. I still have you." I had never really had him, though, and I knew that I never would.
I once had Hayato, but now he was lost to me. All I had now was his baby, and the orphans we had raised as our own. But I knew that they, too, one day would leave me. Distance is unavoidable, I knew, so all that I could do was cling to Amuro, cling to my memories… and wonder how much longer they would be there for me to grasp; before they would dissolve and drown me in a sea of blackness, like the dark rain that now fell softly upon Dublin.
Author's Note: Yeah, I know I've been doing a lot of ZZ one-shots lately. But either way, I just saw that episode of ZZ... and basically everything that Frau felt, I felt myself. That episode was just chilling, and I haven't been that emotionally affected since 0080's ending, so I just had to write something that reflected my sorrow. I apologize if you feel that the title was forced, but I really wanted to use it (if you'v e seen the episode, you might understand my reason for that.)