Disclaimer: I certainly do not own The Mentalist, because I'm still left guessing who Red John is :P
She knows her phone beeping at 3 at night can mean one of the two things- either Jane is up to some crazy mind game and wants her to tag along with him somewhere, or Jane has managed to get himself into trouble already and needs her to bail him out. Neither of these is something she looks forward to, especially since these have somehow ended up being part of her job description.
"Hello?" she mumbles after answering the phone, trying to sound awake and sincere, but failing to hide the yawn that comes through.
"Lisbon, I need you in my office now."
She's a little shocked to hear Agent Hightower's voice on the other end. She straightens up instantly. "Yes, maam, I'll be right there." She doesn't ask any more questions, just gets ready and rushes to the office, straining herself to keep under her speed limit. Jane is such a bad influence on everyone!
"I'm here, ma'am", announces as she enters the office, and is a bit surprised to find the rest of her team there as well. She glances at everyone's faces once, before she eyes her boss fearfully. "Is everything alright?"
"There's been a homicide at one of our Agent's house." Hightower informs them. "The D.A. wants you to look into the matter."
"Yes ma'am", Lisbon nods quickly, "We'll get there right away. Come on, Cho."
"Oh no, Cho is needed here." Hightower interrupts. "We need to make enquiries in some other houses. You take Jane with you."
It's funny how Jane is usually the one tagging along with her and vice versa. They are like the default settings of some software.
Lisbon nods, for the first time noticing that Jane isn't around. So that is why there has been no trouble so far! "Where's Jane?" she asks curiously.
"Right here", she hears a reply from behind her, and doesn't even have to turn around to know it's Jane. He walks into the room, grinning. "Looking for me Lisbon?"
She exits the room at the same time, and he follows. "No. Hightower was looking for you. She wants me to take you with me."
"Hmmm", he hums, casually taking out a candy bar from one of the pockets of his jeans. "Want a bite?"
"There's been a homicide", she tells him the obvious, her face screaming the 'how can you eat chocolate when someone was murdered' that she's holding back, with much difficultly.
"Hmmm", he hums again, now taking a bite himself. "It's delicious. Your loss."
She shakes her head and gets inside the elevator, pressing the buttons before he can press for the wrong floor just for fun, like he sometimes does. "I just don't understand. Why did she make me take you with me? I could have taken Cho. Or Van pelt. I'd even take Rigsby! Why you?" she rants, more to herself than to him.
"That's easy", he answers, now openly munching on his candy bar. She absent-mindedly wonders if that is what he has been having for breakfast ever since his wife died. "Every body ships Jisbon." He says it like it's something they were taught in elementary school.
"Jisbon?" her eyes narrow in curiosity and confusion. "What's Jisbon?"
He fakes a gasp just as the elevator door opens, and is walking out and ahead of her without answering. Her curiosity is increasing now, as is her annoyance. She just rolls her eyes and follows him, grumbling under her breath about how unfair his mind games are.
This is going to be such a long day.
"Jane, I'll drive", she says firmly. She knows that morning and Jane and her car isn't the best combination around.
But he's already seated in the driver's seat, somehow having managed to steal her keys out of her pocket. "It's not safe for you to drive now. You're clearly still sleepy."
"And you are awake because?" she asks, reluctantly settling for riding shot-gun. He'd better not run her car into a tree or get a speeding ticket. She really hopes he has his driver's license with him this time.
"Chocolate. Glucose." He explains, grinning at her as he starts the car. "So where are we going?"
The drive is silent for 5 minutes, because she dozes off and he doesn't wake her up. She is jerked awake though when the road takes a sharp turn. She blinks a couple of times, before she decides that talking to Jane might actually keep her awake. "So….." She trails, looking outside the window. The wind is helping her relax and stay awake at the same time. It's still night, it's still dark. But it's so beautiful with all the city lights on. It's hard to believe there has been a murder in a beautiful night like this.
"So…." he mimics, grinning again.
She frowns, crossing her arms over her chest, and turns around in her seat to face him. It's still too early for her to think of how to make small talk with him, and there's only the conversation from earlier that's in her mind. "I'll bite. Tell me what Jisbon is."
He shakes his head, his grin growing into a full smile. "You are smart, Lisbon. You can figure it out on your own. It's really easy."
"Jane!" she says in disbelief, staring at him. Why can't he be easy for once in his life? He wants her to play the guessing game? Early in the morning?
She remembers that she swore she wouldn't let Jane torture her with his mind games right at the beginning of the day. She bites on her lip and looks outside again.
"Did you know this agent?" he changes the topic of conversation.
"Saw him once or twice." She says, shaking her head. "We never worked together though."
He nods in understanding, a thought disturbing his mind. First Bosco and his team, now this Agent. He wonders if someone is aiming at CBI agents. He wonders if anyone is safe. He automatically wonders if Lisbon is safe. "You sleep with guns, don't you?" he asks casually.
She shrugs. She's not going to tell him. Not until he tells her what Jisbon is.
"You do", he concludes. "Your shrug gave it away Lisbon. If you want to hide something, try practicing in the mirror."
She huffs. "Is that what you do?"
"Nah!" he grins. "I practice on you people. I observe you and learn from your mistakes. Your faces just give you away. You see-"
"-Okay", she interrupts, holding up her hands. "That's as much of psychic talk as I can take right now."
"Wanna learn it later?" he risks asking.
She knows he's just messing with her, trying to get her mad. She fights back the urge to punch him in the nose, and doesn't answer him.
"I'm free this morning", he offers.
She still keeps quiet, taking in deep breathes to calm herself.
"And also this afternoon", he adds.
Her head snaps to him angrily. "Just drive!"
He's sniffing paintings at the house, and she's looking down at the ground in shame as the officers from the local P.D. stare at him like he's crazy.
"Is he on drugs?" one of them asks her.
She snorts. "He doesn't need to be on drugs to drive you insane.- Jane!" she yells, gesturing him to quit doing whatever he was doing.
He shrugs and continues sniffing; now sniffing the files on the table.
"Jane!" she groans, once again fighting back the urge to punch him. One of these days, she is just going to go ahead and get it over with. "Come on, we need to talk to the victim's wife."
"You need to talk to the victim's wife", he dismisses her with a casual wave of his hand. "I'll be here."
She decides it's better if she talks to the wife alone, the wife must still be traumatized, and Jane would only cause trouble.
"Don't cause trouble", she warns him before she leaves the room, even though she knows it's in vain. She doesn't need to be a psychic to know that he'll never listen to her.
She's done interviewing the wife, and he's done pointing out embarrassing facts about the policemen and antagonizing them. She apologizes for him, he blurts out one more fact, she glares at him, he blurts out another, and then she's staring at him in disbelief.
"You've got yourself a handful", the officer tells her, gesturing at Jane.
"I know", she sighs, the look in her eyes the same 'I knew my job was on the line the minute I met Jane' look that she's been taking on more and more these days.
"Lisbon, you got it wrong", Jane says, as they walk away, back towards her car. "He thought I was your boyfriend."
She huffs, glancing at him curiously. "And just how do you know that?"
He shrugs, getting inside the driver's seat before she can, and holding out the keys in his hands victoriously. "Everyone ships Jisbon."
And she's left standing with her mouth hanging open in realization. Jisbon equals…. Jane and Lisbon?
Now she's not so sure if she really wanted to know.
A/N: I hope you liked it. Reviews are much appreciated. Should I continue this one or just drop it? Thanks for reading :)