I stand and stare at his back. "Why?" I ask and he looks over his shoulder at me, and our eyes lock.
"Why what?"
"Why now?"
"Because I can't take it anymore."
"Take what? Keeping it inside?"
"Keeping the secret. Lies. Denial. The hurt of having to see you every day and knowing."
"What do you know?"
"I know more than you think."
"If you'd asked me..."
"If I'd have asked would you of said yes?"
"You don't know I'd say no."
"That doesn't change the odds in my favour much."
"Damn it. Didn't you think just to ask what I had to say in all this?"
"Why? What you're telling me now, as I stand prepared to let go, is that you'd have said yes?"
"Yes."
"No. You just don't want me to step off."
"Of course I do. I want nothing more than for you to take that step so I can finally have some peace and quiet, but still I'm saying I'd have said yes."
"Had. Is that the past tense?"
"Depends if you're willing to take that step back. Make the choice."
"But. But I was so sure. I made myself ready for this."
"Ready to die?"
"Yes."
"Just make yourself ready to live then."
"With you?"
"For as long as you put up with me then sure. Why not?"
"And, you mean it?"
"I do. Now can we stop with the double speak here Patricia? Just step back to me."
"One more thing."
"Oh God. What Newbie?"
"Can I call you Perry?"
"Only if there's no one else around to hear you."
"Cool." And he reached out and took my hand. I pulled him too me, my arms wrapping round him and I breathed in a deep calming breath. Thank God for that.