My first ff in English, be patient.
Slices of Italian life through the eyes of the five (I used both the male and female versions of the two Italies, plus a fan-version of Vatican City) Italian (here Roman) brothers, from the February of 2006 to the summer of 2007
Hetalia, its character and ecc. ecc. are not mine.
Use of OC
The episodes aren't my invention, but first/second/third-hand experiences with little changes to adapt them to the story. There will be – probably – comments about politics, protests, and – more in general – about events occurred during the period in which the story is set. No offence is intended.
Final notes: vocabulary, official characters of the series, list of OC (minor characters you don't have to remember and who aren't important), Chiara's timetable
Italics: Italian
Normal: when under the speeches in italics, if between the dashes, the translation of the speech.
Days of ordinary Italian madness
27/02/2006
"Permesso!"
The girl jumped off bus, nearly getting stuck between the closing doors. Her boots had no heel, but the tip-tap on the sidewalk was still noticeable, also in traffic of the morning. Catching the pole of the orange road-sign outside the school with the left hand, she used it as if it had been a hinge and she a door, turning around the corner at full speed. She glanced at the clock of a chemist's shop: 8:02.
Merda.
She accelerated, her bronze skin flushed for the speed and the cold wind. Dannato inverno. Finally, she reached the entrance of the school, were few students were still laying against the wall, waiting for the bell to ring, something she couldn't afford; not on Monday. In the hall, she dribbled a janitor on the right, then a group of boys on the left and almost stomped on her math teacher. She flew away with a
"Scusi prof!"
-sorry, teacher!-
only to be stopped by the wall on the opposite side of the main door. Pushing herself away from the white surface, she used the kinetic energy of the movement to gain speed and continue her run against time. The sound of fast army boots on the left notified her the presence of Marta; her suspect was immediately confirmed by a
"Ah... dannato... lunedì... mattina... tardi... anche... tu?"
-Ah... damn... Monday... morning... late... you... too?-
Chiara answered with a scowl. Her classmate did exactly what the other's gaze suggested, quickening her pace. After an eternal stair, they reached their classroom, pushing violently the door and risking to rip the poster Fede did during an English lesson, on which she had written in big letters what the little label at the top of the door already said:
II L
The additions of Claudia, Sonia and Marco covered in fluorescent colours the few remaining white.
"Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'intrate!" Inf., III, 9 Muhahahaha!
-abandon all hope, you who enter here! Hell, III, 9 Muhahahaha!- (evil laugh)
And
"Attenzione: qui sono detenuti elementi mentalmente instabili. Entrate a vostro rischioe pericolo. P.S.: il cibo li distrae: se entrate, portatevi dei cornetti farciti e lanciateli, vi daranno qualche minuto di vantaggio per fuggire."
-attention: mental unstable elements are detained here. Enter at you own risk. P.S.: food distracts them: if you enter, bring with you filled croissant and throw them, they'll give you few minutes of advantage-
Without forgetting
"Vietato l'accesso ai tifosi della Lazio. La violazione sarà punibile con lapidazione, defenestrazione, tortura e grida di scherno."
-Access forbidden to Lazio's fans. The infringement will be punished with lapidating, defenestration, torture and jeering-
Their classmates jumped at the sudden noise, scared it might be the infamous Pescarelli, the Greek teacher and the cause of the II L's Monday morning stress; once recognized Marta and Chiara, a little choir of "Ciao!" raised from the twentytwo...
No, wait.
"Where are the others?"
The older of the Vargas brothers asked, while throwing her backpack on her desk and unzipping her coat. A malicious smile of Rebecca, sat on the desk at her left, and the hidden laugh of the other three girls around her made her shiver.
"What happened yesterday?"
Becca answered, and Chiara looked at her with an interrogative expression.
"Mmhh... the Derby?"
The four girls in front of her nodded together, the same thrilled light in the eyes.
"I don't know if you watched it-"
"I had to. Two brothers and a granpa, remember?"
She omitted the part in which she and her two sisters wore voluntarily a t-shirt of the team and cheered for it, insulting the referee (also if innocent) with the brothers and the old man. Becca and the others nodded again, encouraging her reasoning. And after a second, something clicked in her brain.
Seven ownerless backpack.
Marco, Beppe (Giuseppe), Nino (Riccardo Ninucci), Salvo (Salvatore), Massi (Massimiliano), Lio (Aurelio) and Mic (Michele), the only male members of class, weren't there.
La Roma, the day before, had won the Derby against Lazio (2-0).
"La Gorgone" (alias Pescarelli) was, as everyone know, a fan of the S. S. Lazio. The reason why she was called "the Gorgon" was because she was a terrific merciless bastard in everlasting menopause.
The boys' genetic idiocy, around the age of 17, reaches a level of stupidity that could be perfectly mistaken for a death wish.
Oh, cazzo.
She looked at her laughing classmates, her desperation and desire of being wrong clear on her face. But no one contradicted her.
"Please, tell me they aren't-"
"Sorry, they are!"
Ignoring again the raising laugh, she collapsed on the chair, hitting willingly her head against the hard wooden-like material. A cranial-trauma would have been a good alibi against the accusation of being accomplice of that insane project. God only knew what they were up to.
And what the Gorgon would do to punish them all.
Ehi, wait a sec...
"Where is the Gorgon?"
She asked it aloud, hoping someone knew the answer. Ino (Elena Cardini, but a lot of people in the II L watched Naruto...) answered, without turning her head or stopping copying the homework for Latin, which had to be ready for the third hour.
"Arguing with her locker in the teacher room. Lio had messed up all the keys, so the teachers are all there trying to find their own. Maybe this will be the time they'll learn to bring them home and not let them at school"
"I think they can't, since the lockers are property of the school and stuff" Barbie (the sad destiny of being baptized with the name Barbara) observed with her Tuscany-accented voice, half listening to them speaking and half reading La Repubblica.
Thinking about it, Chiara realized two or three of the classes she had passed few minute before had the door open and no teacher inside; moreover, there were more guys in the passageways than usual (also for a Monday morning).
The chit-chatting was violently interrupted by the irruption of a couple of yellow-red anthropomorphic being.s After a first shock, the eighteen girls inside the room burst into laughter. Beppe and Salvo wore the uniform of their team, and they would have been perfect photocopies of their Sunday-afternoon gods, if it hadn't been for the clown's yellow-red wigs, the yellow-red stripes on their faces and the flashes of madness in the eyes. The retarded duo was followed by a taller version of them – Nino – who wore a jolly-hat in spite of the wig and was carrying a big half-open box. She could see a yellow-red decoration popping out of it.
"Hey, class representative... shouldn't you do something?"
Sara could be a real pain in the ass, sometimes.
"My duty is speaking with the teacher if something doesn't work and taking part at reunions of the class representatives, not babysitting you!"
Her acid reply didn't pass unnoticed.
"There will be a lot to speak about, in the next days..."
It was Marta's turn to play with her nerves.
Exactly while Chiara was standing up to attack the poor girl at the jugular, Salvo put an arm around her shoulder.
"Then? What do you think?"
With the free arm, he pointed the ceiling with the same solemn expression of the father of Simba in "the Lion King", when Mufasa told him that he will inherit everything: Lio was hanging the decorations, using a chair in precarious balance over a desk as stair. Meanwhile, Nino was doing the same show of "this will be yours" with Barbie, the other representative. Noticing that the two female had made eye-contact, the two showman winked theatrically each other, gaining the laugh of their public, a terrified look of Barbie and a muttered menace from Chiara.
"What do you think you are doing?"
She spoke slowly, in a low and intimidating tone. But, as already said, boys around 17 years are brainless idiots, who are too stupid to have even a minimum preservation instinct. The five (Mic had arrived too) smiled, their eyes bright of foolishness. With an ironic tone of consolation, Nino patted her on the shoulder
"Don't worry, Chicca. We have aaaallll under control."
She palm-face herself. The last famous words. Could it go any worst?
"The first and third L are with us, as second and third M and the second C"
Yes, it could.
One thing she learned, after four year in that cage of fools: if you can't stop them, just follow them.
"Mh... So, what're we gonna do?"
The entire class screamed and clapped the hands, as if they were waiting for her to let them do it. Barbie was on the verge of crying.
"That's what I wanted to hear!"
Nino hugged her bear style, while Lio run to the door and moved his hands in the air, probably some kind of signal for the first and third L and the third M, which were on their same floor. She didn't even have the time to think about the possible meaning of it, that a girl – no need to say that she was dressed as Totti – rushed in, bringing with her a tray. Also if it was covered by paper tissues, the smell spoke clear: cornetti e bomboloni.
"Give me a minute and I come with the other! Uh... Who had to bring the coffee?"
Chiara didn't need further explanation. Breakfast-party. And not during the break, but the first hour – for them, Greek, probably suggested by her dement classmates, just to irritate the Gorgon. Che cretini.
"Marta, put the chairs away... yes, in the corner. No, six desk in the centre of the room, the other against the wall, as usual... Mic, those coats over the desk on the left"
If they had to be fucked, she wanted the thing to work, at least.
"Hei, we still have... a packet of Girelle and... Woha, a whole Panettone! Who left it there! ? !"
Teresa emerged from the mountain of posters, gym-bags (bleah...), toilet paper (no comment, just say it was decided by the principal) and empty packets and boxes. She moved just before a yellow-red maniac had the brilliant idea of pushing all the desks of the left wing – starting from the first row – against the wall at the bottom of the room (the desks had been disposed in pairs, four rows and three columns that they began to call "wings" since the history lesson about the choice of the words "right wings" and "left wings" for the parties), without paying attention at the possible victims (Roberta's leg was trapped between her desk and Marco's).
"Is it still closed?"
"As new, Chicca!"
The Koala's (alias Teresa) eyes were sparkling, which was the reason behind the name "Koala": that little girl, tall less than a meter and sixty, could eat an enormous amount of food without gaining a gram of weight, and exactly like a koala, she was little, cute, and loved sleeping. During classes. And her notes weren't affected at all by this. Damn bottomless genius.
"Marco brought two bottle of coke and Lio... something else, I don't remember"
That's what happen when you left to a boy a woman's work (especially if this boy is Nino).
At this point, the anarchy ruled the class. Fortunately, their only neighbours were the stairs and a laboratory, or they would have been fucked. Well, there were two classes, in front of them, but they were the third L and M.
While helping Becca in disposing the yellow-red (yes, yellow and red: Lio wasn't the history of art's teacher's favourite for anything) handkerchiefs in the centre of the big table created placing side by side six desks, she took a glimpse of two yellow-red shirts who ran in and immediately out.
"Coffee?"
She asked.
Marco turned with a bright smile splattered on his face, the yellow thermos in his hand as the derby's cup.
"Here"
She took a quick step on the left, catching the little plastic glasses Lio had threw her just a second before they fell on the ground. Giving him one of her killer-glances, she imitated his movements, arranging the glasses in a big circle, stopping now and then to let others put the food on the table. Anna had managed – somehow – to cut the panettone, and had disposed the pieces on the plastic dishes decorated with little snowman, reindeers and Christmas trees. The coke was already open, as for the chinotto. Massi seemed worried for the milk, since the room was warmer than a fridge, while Sara scream every two second to tell that no, the teacher wasn't coming.
Eventually, when everything was ready, the thermos passed from a hand to another, filling each little glass for less than a half; the milk took care of the rest.
Half an hour later, food and drinks had disappeared, the janitor who was supposed to tell them that the teacher would have come later had been bribed with a bombolone, and Sara was lazily sat on the stairs with Martina and Giulia.
"She'shereshe'shereshe'shere!"
The trio jumped and rushed into the room. The Gorgon, together with the Religion teacher and the English one, appeared at the top of the stairs, fuming, and the boys' kamikaze plan came at the final act.
"SALVE PROOOFFF!"
The scream of more than sixty teen-ager scared the shit out of them, and judging by the colour of his face, stopped the hearth of the poor English teacher for a bit. Horrified, the Gorgon stepped inside, and two yellow-red clowns hugged her.
"WEEE WOOOOOOON!"
Her expression was priceless
Probably, the only thing that kept them alive during the afternoon, while translating six whole Greek versions.
Final notes
Vocabulary
_Merda: shit
_Dannato inverno: damn Winter
_Prof: diminutive for "professore" (male teacher of middle/high school or university) or "professoressa" (female teacher of middle/high school or university).
_Cornetti e bomboloni: Italian version of croissant and krapfen
_Girelle: a kind of snack
_Panettone: a Christmas' dessert
_Roma and Lazio: the two soccer team of Rome. The first one's colours are yellow and red, its symbol is the Capitoline wolf, and it has the name of the city. S.S. Lazio's colours are white and cerulean, its symbol is an eagle, and it has the name of the region. The Derby, in this case, is the Rome Derby. Check on Wikipedia for more information about it.
_Totti: Francesco Totti, captain of the Rome soccer team. A legend of the Italian soccer.
Characters
_Chiara: 17 years old (nearly 18). Fourth year of a Liceo Classico (main subjects: Italian literature, Latin and Ancient Greek). Only in this kind of Liceo the years are numbered in a different way: firs year is fourth gymnasium, second year is fifth gymnasium, third year first liceo, fourt year second liceo (Chiara is in II liceo, section L), fifth year third liceo.
_Lovino: 17 years old (nearly 18). Her twin. Fourth year, Istituto Alberghiero (I didn't find any satisfying translation; it's a professional institute where you learn how to cook, serve in restaurants...)
_Feliciano: 15 years old (nearly 16). Second year. Liceo Artistico: an art school with more hours dedicated to the general studies as foreign language, history, Latin...
_Serena: 15 years old (nearly 16). His twin. Second year. Liceo scientifico (main subjects: math, science, chemistry, physic... since it is a liceo, she has to study Latin and Philosophy too)
_Maria (the fan-profile of Vatican City I found on Wikia): 13 years old (nearly 14). Third year of middle school. She's in the middle of the "what-school-do-I-choose?" crisis.
_Romulus: over 60. Their grandfather; he adopted them 8 years before, when their parents died. Owner of a little company.
OC: Chiara's classmates
Antoniani Sara (Sara), Buratti Isabella (Isa), Cardini Elena (Ino), Colasanti Massimiliano (Massi), Conte Marta (la Conte), Crocefisso Salvatore (Salvo), De' Rossi Barbara (Barbie), Donato Anna (Dona), Fabrizi Martina (Marti), Fino Teresa (il Koala), Girondino Claudia (Cla), Montani Giulia (Giu'), Ninucci Riccardo (Nino), Pianalto Aurelio (Lio), Quagliolo Rebecca (Becca), Quattri Federica (Fede), Ripamonti Giuseppe (Beppe), Schiarioni Marco (Marco), Severini Caterina (Cate), Stoppani Carolina (Carol), Tomei Michele (Mic), Vargas Chiara (Chicca), Vita Alice (Ali), Wu Sonia (So').
And since I want to fill this page...
... Chiara's timetable!
_Monday: Greek, Greek, Latin, Latin, Science (8-13)
_Tuesday: History of art, History, English, Science, Religion (8-13)
_Wednesday: P.E., P.E, Italian Literature, Italian Literature, Mathematic, Physic (8-14)
_Thursday: History, Latin, Latin, Mathematic, Science (8-13)
_Friday: Physic, History, Philosophy, English, Greek, Greek (8-14)
_Saturday: Philosophy, Phylosophy, History of art, Italian Literature, Italian Literature (8-13)
... more or less like mine, only with Greek and Latin in spite of German and Spanish. Well, I had Latin too, but less hours of Mathematic, Physic and Science.
Thank you for reading :)
HCH