Candle
Chapter 1
by Heavenly Awkward

Disclaimer: I'm only going to say this once (in this fic, anyways). I DO NOT OWN TEEN TITANS! Ya happy, evil lawyers? I oughta sic my flying monkeys on you...

Violet eyes opened to the darkness. Raven slipped out from under the covers, shivering as her bare feet touched the cold floor. Lately it was chilly in the Tower in the early morningsbad news for Raven, who never reacted well to the cold anyways. She made her bed as quickly as possible, then grabbed her cloak and threw it on. She shivered once, then shook her head vigorously, strands of dark hair stinging her cheeks, and stopped. She then proceeded to pull on her boots.

Raven was suprised, really, that she had gotten up at all today, after last night. Terra's betrayal and death had shocked them all. Last night was like... like the world gone mad, except it was only them...

Putting that thought aside, she left her room and made her way quietly to the roof. The sun would rise in a few minutes, and she always watched it as it came up through and behind and over the blue, pink, gold and violet clouds, bringing the first rays of light and warmth to the usual early-morning chill and damp. But today, she stood on the roof silently, looking out at the still-dark horizon. Her brows knitted unconsciously, and stayed that way. She opened her mouth, but no sound emerged. Her heart beat painfully. She closed her mouth and swept off the roof. The sun had not risen yet.

Raven paused, heart pounding and stomach burning. What now? She needed some tea. But instead of walking to the kitchen, her feet carried her to the living area, where she stopped in front of the wide window and watched for a moment as the sun rose, then pulled her legs up and crossed them in a sitting position in mid-air. Then she slowly closed her eyes...

"Raven?"

How annoying. She had been meditating for so long, and it felt so peaceful, like a beautiful dream. And like a dream, the interruption felt like such an unforgiveable sin. She was about to reply with something withering when she realised whose voice it was. Robin. The two of the got on well; They seemed to understand one another, somehow, so of course she preferred to keep things friendly with him. She quickly changed what she had been about to say.

"Yes?"

"Everyone's in the kitchen, eating. I made breakfast, so it's not something weird. Would you like to come eat with us?"

"What time is it?"

"Around nine-thirty."

Raven was silent, eyes still closed.

"So, do you want to come eat?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

Robin looked at her, a little concerned. She didn't see it, but she did hear the slight worry in his voice as he pressed, "Do you... wanna just come down anyways? You've been here a while, maybe you should... mingle a bit."

Raven only just supressed a sharp laugh at this. Robin frowned good-naturedly and switched tactics. "Look, I know it isn't your thing, but truth be told, I'm not exactly excited about breakfast with them without you, not after last night. I need someone who can keep them in check, and you happen to be the only one who can do that."

Raven paused, then uncrossed her legs and dropped to the floor. She turned to face Robin, on whose face the beginnings of a much more relaxed expression was blossoming. "All right. But don't think flattery will save you every time."

Robin grinned. "Never crossed my mind, " he assured her. They walked in silent companionship to the kitchen.

Robin felt a little guilty about lying, saying he was dreading breakfast with the two other boys without her. Well, he hadn't actually lied about thathe was dreading itbut he had simply not told the whole truth. There was a difference between telling a lie and not telling everything. It was a small difference, but it was there. The real reason why he had wanted her to come down was that he was worried. About her. Raven was at the top of his list of people likely to have problems with Terra's death. Sure, Beast Boy had been closer to the blonde, but he wasn't the type to have such problems. When he had a problem, he made it painfully obvious. Raven snapped shut like a clam. And she had also been close to Terra, though it may have been a little one-sided. Just a little. Once Terra submitted to her, it had formed a tight bond between them, one that only broke with great pain, and anger. Robin would not allow Raven, in the aftermath of that breaking, to stay in the solitude of her room with only her sad thoughts, while the pain and anger grew in the dark shelter of her ever-quiet heart.

That evening, the ceremony began. After the required argument about what to eat, they decided to go out for pizza. Sound familiar? Once there, they immediately began the holy ritual of arguing about what type of pizza to get.

"Meat-lovers," Cyborg told the waitress.

"What? Noooo! Vegetarian!" Beast Boy cried at once, and the conversation immediately commenced into the aforementioned age-old ritual of the arguing between the meat-lovers and the vegetarians. After about seventy-two seconds, a rather grouchy Raven could not stand it any more.

"SHUT UP!" She roared over the voices of the opposing sides of the war. All froze, looking at her with wide eyes, shocked by this breach of tradition. Besides, Raven could be really loud when she wanted. She gave them a look that plainly said, Blast the ritual, if you dare argue with me, you will be sorry! Note: It was not neccesarily in those exact words. The basic idea, however, was about the same.

"Beast Boy, get off the table, and sit down! Yes, you too, Cyborg. If you keep doing that, you'll get us kicked out!"

"Not neccesarily," Robin pointed out. "They're probably so used to it by now that they don't care anymore."

Raven stopped at that. "You have a point. Still..."

"So what do you want?" The waitress asked earnestly.

"A large pizza, three-quarters cheese, one-quarter vegetarian, and a small meat-lovers."

The waitress smiled and nodded. "Nice to see a girl with some spunk."

"Thank you,"

"So I'll have your order coming right up!" the waitress said, and walked in that fast way waitresses have to inform the cooks.

When the pizzas came, the hungry titans practically dove in. Except for one, that is. Raven simply sat back and began to read her book. Robin noticed.

"Hey, what are you reading, Raven?" he asked.

Raven turned the book so he could see the cover. "The Fifth of March."

"Huh." Robin looked at it. "I've never read that. Is it a horror?"

Raven shook her head. "Historical fiction."

"Who's it written by?"

"Ann Rinaldi. She does a lot of historical fiction."

"Yeah, I've heard of her. What's it about?"

"The Boston Massacre."

"Well, you know, that can be pretty close to horror..."

"Hey, Raven!" Beast Boy interrupted their literary conversation. "You aren't eating anything!"

"What a clever deduction."

"Why not, Rae?" Cyborg asked, taking an interest.

"Because I'm not hungry," Raven said. Her voice, which had gained a little bit of distant enthusiasm when speaking of her book, immediately went flat. Robin winced silently.

"You ordered the pizza," Beast Boy pointed out. "Only to stop you and Cyborg fighting over it. I don't want any."

"Aww, come on Rae, it won't hurt!" Cyborg coaxed. "Just one piece!"

Raven shook her head. "I told you, I don't want any. I'm not hungry. Leave me alone."

"One piece?"

"Why do you care, Beast Boy?"

"'Cuz you didn't eat breakfast either."

"I'm not hungry today. Leave me alone!" They looked at her with huge, pleading puppy-dog eyes. She scowled at them. "If you're really worried, I'll order some tea." The 'don't you dare argue' look was back, and Robin, tapping them each on the shoulder, looked at them meaningfully. They wisely heeded its warning. They nodded, Raven ordered the tea, and sat there sipping it while the conversation turned to more important things, namely the latest video game.

The next morning, Raven's eyes snapped open as usual. But something was not as usual. It was too warm. Raven threw on her cloak and boots as fast as she could and rushed to the rooftop. She stopped, staring out. No. The sun was already up. She had overslept. She continued to stare. Then, just like yesterday, she left the roof as fast as she could.

Meditating as she had yesterday, Robin peeked in once again to ask if she could come to breakfast.

She turned, staring flatly at him for just long enough to make him more uncomfortable than was kind of her. He started fidgeting, as nervous as though he were asking her to marry him rather than to come and eat, and meekly asked once more, "So, will you come?"

"Alright." Raven followed him out to the kitchen. She didn't feel like she wanted to eat. However, she hadn't forgotten what Beast Boy said yesterday. She didn't want them making a big deal out of nothing, so she got another cup of tea. Starfire had made breakfast, so naturally everyone was eating cereal. They kept very large soup bowls for occasions like this, all of which were made of sturdy plastic, in case someone was in a less-than-optimal mood, and decided to throw it at a particularly annoying individual. But this was a fairly peaceful morning, for once. Raven sipped her tea as the others got their cereal.

Perhaps you will watch along. It was mildly interesting.

Starfire ate her... concoction. You probably don't want to know what it was, and thank goodness Raven didn't know herself.

Robin pulled a box of Wheaties from the cupboard and poured a large amount in his bowl, following these with a flood of milk. Robin ate healthy but, like any normal teenaged boy, he ate a lot.

Cyborg headed to coook himself some sausage, eggs and bacon. When it was done, he paired it with a medium-large sized serving of Honey Grahams. He ate more than either of the other boys, and this was only partially because he had another bowl after. And then another. And more sausage. Why he did this is a mystery, as even the human part of his body did not need that much food in one meal in order to have enough energy for the day.

Beast Boy immediately took the Lucky Charms and (being another teenaged boy) also poured a good, full serving for himself. For those who cannot translate, this means that he poured enough to stuff himself on. He paused with the milk, then stood up and went to rummage in the cupboards. He came back with the container of sugar in his hand, and spooned somewhere between four and seven heaping spoonfuls on his cerealthe frightening memory did not permit the luxury of remembering exactly how many spoonfulsstirred it in, added milk, and then stirred again.
And then he ate it. All of it. He even stopped halfway through to add more sugar, mumbling that the milk washed away the taste.

Repulsive.

Raven couldn't keep from staring in disgust. "How on earth do you do that?"

"Huh?" Beast Boy looked up from his half-empty bowl at her. "Do what?"

"Eating all that! Do you have any idea what all the sugar in that can do to you?"

"Nope!" Beast Boy grinned cheerfully. "And I don't want to know, either!"

"That is gross. I am going to be sick."

"You should talk, all you ever eat for breakfast is... Well, you DON'T eat breakfast, you drink it! All you ever have is your tea!"

"That's not true," Cyborg argued. "She ate your breakfast, remember?"

"Oh. Right."

"Well," Robin commented. "now we know how Beast Boy gets his energy..."

Everyone laughed. Raven satisfied herself with a small chuckle.

Scientists, after much toil and research, have found that the race of hyper mall-crawlers posess the ability to frighten all living creatures within the immediate area out of their wits with a simple phrase, though it is rarely a phrase that is generally considered frightening. The purpose of this ability is unknown, though it is believed to be unconscious on the part of the hyperactive life-form.

One of the more well-known members of this species is Starfire, and her ability was working wonderfully as she said, "Dear Raven!"

All other life-forms froze. "Yes, Starfire?" Raven asked cautiously. "I have found myself recently to be in need of new clothes, and since the journey to the place of exchanging money for goods is lonely and boring without a companion, and boys are not considered suitable for such"

"You want me to come to the mall with you," Raven translated bluntly.

Starfire nodded vigorously. "Yes, and perhaps we could find you some suitable clothing as well!"

"Hey, wait a minute," Beast Boy interrupted. "Since when do you ever wear anything besides your costume?"

"Since about a month ago," Robin said boredly, looking at his distorted (and upside-down) reflection in his spoon. "Starfire wondered what it would be like on earth when people didn't know her, if they thought she was just another person, so she got some normal clothes."

"It was an enjoyable and educational experience," Starfire smiled. "I have wanted to take Raven with me for a long time. Will you come, Raven?"

"Fine. When do you want to go?"

The boys gaped. Starfire beamed. "This Saturday, perhaps?"

"Fine."

Snakes have the ability to detach their jaw in order to swallow things larger than their heads. The general male population of the Titan Tower did not usually have this ability, but they seemed to have spontaneously acquired it, judging by the fact that their lower jaws were currently brushing the floor.

Raven lay in bed. Staring at the ceiling. Boring. She knew she should close her eyes if she ever hoped to get to sleep, but she couldn't stand lying there with her eyes closed any more than she could lying there with her eyes open.

"Just go to sleep, Raven, just go to sleep..."

She tried to lay still. But she soon started fidgeting. She switched positions and tried to calm down. It didn't work. She forced herself to stop moving completely. It seemed to work, and she calmed down a bit. Until she began shaking.

Dear Journal,

Today was pretty much incident-free. Good thing, as most of us wouldn't be quite ready for that just yet. We're all acting normally, thank goodness, but... There's a tension between us all. You can feel the emotions when you walk in to the tower.

I'm still worried about Raven, though. She's avoiding us, I think. I try to find any possible excuse to keep her with us, rather than in her room (the black hole), but it's hard. She isn't eating much either, that I can see. She has her tea, of course, and does eat some things every once and a while... apples and stuff like that. Little things. She meditates more than I remember. And, in spite of everything I do, she's spending more and more time alone.

On the bright side, she volunteered to go the the mall with Starfire! Insane, yes. I'm not sure if I should be worried or happy: She would never have done that before, but still, I think getting out a bit would be good for her. The date is set for this Saturday, and I strongly suspect that Star is going to try to give her a makeover. I'm really not sure if either of them will survive that.

Raven clenched her fists, but they continued shaking, trembling as though she were on a caffeine high. But she hadn't had any caffeine. There was no way. She hadn't eaten anything today, not even her tea. She couldn't possibly have gotten any caffeine. So why did she feel wired?

Raven kicked the covers off her bed and stood up. This time, she ignored the cold, not touching her cloak. She was about to leave her room when the twinging annoyance in the back of her mind reminded her that her bed was a mess from her tossing around, trying to get comfortable. She sighed and turned back, straightening her grey sheets with practiced moves. Pull on this side, and it made wrinkles all over. Then pull on the opposite side, and those wrinkles straightened out. Then she had to pull the other two ways, and then lay the sheet and comforter over the pillow, tucking it in gently.

Raven doesn't seem to be sleeping well, either. I hear her coming down the stairs now, and it's the middle of the night...

After one last hard look at her delightfully spotless room, Raven stepped into the hall and closed the door behind her. Her bare feet gripped the cold floor as she walked to the kitchen, wondering, once again, what to do now. The first thing that came to her mind was food. Eat something. She shook her head hard, her hair whipping and stinging her cheeks, and dismissed the thought. She didn't want to eat. Tea, perhaps? ...Maybe. A book would be fine, though, just as long as she could escape the stifling closeness of her room...

"Raven! What are you doing up?"

Raven frowned. He was always everywhere, anywhere she went to be alone, he was there, worrying over her like a mother hen. "I couldn't sleep."

"No duh. Did you come down for anything in particular?" Robin was sitting at the table with his knees drawn up to his chest, holding a book and a pen, pausing from writing. In his other hand, he loosely gripped a mug of a sweet-smelling, thick brown liquid. Hot chocolate.

"Just to get out of my room," Raven said flatly, looking at Robin's steaming mug.

"Oh."

Raven looked around, trying to resist the sweet smell of the hot chocolate and find something else to drink... since she apparently was going to get something to drink one way or another, it better not be something loaded with sugar. She set about preparing a tea, and very soon ended up sipping it at the table across from Robin. He caught a whiff of it and wrinkled his nose.

"Ugh, what is that?" he asked.

"Hot water, vinegar, and honey."

"What!"

"The taste grows on you after a while."

"But why would you drink it for long enough for it to do that?"

"Because it clears out your throat."

"Oh."

"Vinegar is a wonderful cleanser."

"I guess so."

They sat in silence once more. Robin began writing again, his mug now empty.

She couldn't sleep. I hope that, at least, gets better quickly. G'night!

Robin

Robin closed his journal and got up. "Night, Raven."

"Night." Raven didn't follow him. She sat at the table and read a book until around two in the morning, when the shivers wore off and she could finally sleep.

The same thing would happen for the next few nights, and Raven would lose a lot of sleep over it. She would begin to avoid the roof, as she felt her stomach and throat burning when she glanced at the stairs leading up there. She would start to wake up later, not only because of restless nights, but because she didn't want to have a reason to try and go to the roof. She was already absent for most meals, and Robin began to grow steadily more concerned for her.

Whelp, there ya go. I haven't included all the answers to the reviews and such, so... Yeah. Lovely day!

Heavenly Awkward