Disclaimer: I don't own Gil, Bierrez, or anyone else I might mention. All this belongs to Ohkami-sama.
Yoru: Hello! I was just reading Volume 10 and I couldn't help wondering about this particular relationship. I mean, what if Bierrez had no reason to hurry? What if he could just stay with Gil for a while? I know for a fact that if I saw Gil in nothing but a blanket I would stay there for a while…
Kuronue: Yeah, but you're not Bierrez.
Yoru: And you are grounded. Anyway, this is the third time I've explored a relationship between Gil and someone besides Rath or Laamgarnus (I'm tired of the latter, but a relationship with Rath isn't bad). First Nadil, then Fedelta. Now Bierrez.
Kuronue: And now on to the fic, because Yoru is babbling.
Yoru: Shut up. You're beyond grounded.
When Bierrez first laid eyes on the half-breed, he knew his life had changed forever.
When that single golden eye had been turned on him, he knew that the boy was special.
He had gone on, ignoring the harsh voice Fedelta had used on the half-breed. He had found the girl, nearly been killed, and then nearly been caught by the guards. He was trapped at the end of the hallway at the doors to Shydeman's chambers, and had no place to go.
The door creaked open.
"Come in! Unless you enjoy getting your skin peeled off. All the same to me." The voice sounded so resigned. Bierrez, with a furtive look to the approaching guards, ran into the room and shut the door. He looked up into the same golden eye that had held him spellbound a few hours before.
"Don't worry. Nobody else is in here." That same resigned voice. The half-breed was wrapped in a blanket, obviously naked underneath. Bierrez pulled himself together.
"It's you…"
"This is Shydeman's private chambers. No one is allowed in here. Not even the guys who are after you. Shydeman just stepped out, so he won't be back for awhile." The half-breed looked away from him.
"But you…"
"You can leave through that window," a small smile and the beautiful eye turned back to him, "I never saw you."
"But what will you…"
"I don't think about myself. It's easier that way. I'm just their doll." The half-breed sat down on the floor, pulling his blanket tighter around him. Bierrez hesitated, then sat by him.
"What do you mean?" he asked. His companion looked at him for a moment.
"They use me. For battle sometimes, but mostly for their own pleasures. What am I to them? Just some half-breed that they bought a long time ago." He stopped talking, staring into space. Bierrez sat in silence for a while, then spoke again.
"What's your name?" The question snapped the half-breed out of his stupor. He stared at Bierrez, eye wide.
"You…asked me my name?" he asked shakily. Bierrez smiled at him.
"Yeah. Mine's Bierrez," he replied. The half-breed suddenly threw himself into Bierrez's arms. The demon blinked, then realized that the boy was crying.
"You…asked me my name…no one…has done that for…so long…years, even…" He stopped crying and peered up into Bierrez's face, eye still watery.
"Gil. My name is Gil," he said quietly. Bierrez wiped the tears away.
"What do you need, Gil?" he asked gently. Gil hiccupped a bit.
"I don't know. A day without hurting. A moment where someone will love me instead of hurting me. It sounds silly, doesn't it?" he asked suddenly. Bierrez stared down at the boy he held in his arms, a beautiful boy, a boy whose golden eye had captivated him beyond his own understanding. He shook his head.
"No. It doesn't. It sounds…like you need me." His voice shook at the realization that he, in turn, needed Gil. Wanted Gil. In the few moments he had spent with him…loved Gil. Gil blinked.
"Maybe. But you don't have to. Don't even feel obligated just because I said it. I…" He was cut off by Bierrez's mouth covering his own. Gil's eye widened for an instant, then closed as Bierrez slipped his tongue into Gil's unresisting mouth and explored. It was…gentle.
For years, Shydeman had kissed Gil, but it had been forced, harsh…lustful. Gil struggled every time, but Shydeman was so much stronger than he was. A gentle kiss he had never felt, not like this. Bierrez was willing to give up precious time that he needed to get away…to love Gil.
Bierrez pulled away first. Gil whimpered in protest. Bierrez chuckled, then became serious.
"I was held under your spell from the first moment I saw you, Gil."
"A few minutes ago? That's flattering." Gil giggled as Bierrez dusted feather light kisses over his neck. Unbeknownst to Gil, Bierrez inwardly winced at the scars he felt and saw. What had been done to Gil over the years?
"Not a few minutes ago, sweet one. A few hours ago. When you came into the castle and Fedelta berated you for whatever you were thinking. What were you thinking, anyway?" he asked. Gil sighed as he cuddled close to Bierrez.
"Just about…how you looked so free. You know, on occasion I do dream of living free, making my own decisions about things. Is that wrong?" He looked up into Bierrez's eyes, trying to read their expression. Bierrez stared down at him for a moment.
"No. Maybe…I'll help you out with that one day." Bierrez leaned down and kissed Gil again, feeling the half-breed melt into him. He wished they could stay like this forever. The blanket had fallen to around Gil's waist, and Bierrez could see the many scars marring his bronze skin. Gil opened his eye to see that Bierrez was staring at them.
"You don't want to know where they came from. Don't ask. Bierrez, you need to go. Shydeman will be back any moment." Gil sounded so sad as he said it. Bierrez held him close.
"Gil, don't give up. Please. We'll see each other again someday." He kissed Gil again, lingering. Then they both stood.
"You don't want to let Shydeman know that you've helped me." He pulled the blanket up over Gil's shoulders. As he went to the window, he looked back. Gil looked as though he were about to cry. Bierrez sighed, and jumped out. He held on to the ledge, freezing as he heard Shydeman enter the room.
"So, little kitty doll, did you miss me?" he heard Shydeman ask tauntingly. He heard a growl and then a sharp slap, followed by a soft sound of pain.
"Don't growl at me, Gil. Get down on the floor."
"No."
"Don't make me force you." There was silence, then a thud and sounds of a struggle.
"Stop this idiotic struggling, Gil. I'm stronger than you are and you know it."
"Let me go! Please…" The sound of Gil's voice, pleading with his sadistic master, made Bierrez's heart clench. The next sounds, those of struggling and muffled protests as Shydeman forced a kiss, made his heart burn with fury. Bierrez heard Shydeman pull the blanket away, and then forced himself to jump from the ledge. He did not want to hear this.
You are indeed precious, Gil, he thought as he ran. You are precious to me and I love you.
Some time later
Reawakened.
Both of them.
Bierrez sat on a rock, far from the others. Gil stood beside him. Neither spoke. Neither knew what to say. Finally Bierrez broke the silence.
"It's been a while."
"Yes." The silence reigned again. Instinctively, the other members of the group knew not to approach. Bierrez hesitated, then reached out and took Gil's hand.
"Gil…I'm sorry I left. When I heard what Shydeman was about to do to you…"
"I thought you had left long before that. I never got to thank you for…your time." Gil turned away and pulled his hand out of Bierrez's, "I know that you only felt sorry for me."
"You know nothing." The venom in Bierrez's voice caused Gil to turn, eye wide. Standing, Bierrez glared at him.
"You know nothing. When I told you that I'd fallen under your spell, didn't you realize that it meant I love you? I was…am…so in love with you that I can hardly stand it, Gil! Don't you even know what love is?" Bierrez shouted. Gil was staring at him; in fact everybody in the group was staring at him. He didn't care.
"Those few minutes in Shydeman's chambers were over too soon. I would have given anything to stay longer with you. Maybe then I wasn't sure what I felt, but I am now. I love you, Gil. I love you so much." His voice quieted. Gil sat down on the rock.
"Bierrez…I don't know how to love. I haven't loved for so long…I couldn't. I wanted you to leave, because I thought my scars repulsed you. I thought you only felt sorry for me. I could not recognize love, Bierrez. I…have never been loved." A flash of red hair and purple eyes went through his mind; a smiling man and a laughing girl next, "Well, maybe once or twice. But it doesn't matter, now."
Bierrez grabbed Gil's shoulders and shook him.
"It does matter, Gil. If you think you can even possibly love me back, it does matter." He kissed Gil then, gently and lingering, willing him to accept this declaration of Bierrez's very heart. Gil was frozen for a moment.
"Mmmm…" He wrapped his arms around Bierrez and pulled him close, kissing back with all his might. Bierrez smiled around the kiss. Gil would learn to love. And he would be there to teach him.
A well-aimed shoe hit Bierrez in the head, knocking him into Gil's lap.
"WILL YOU GET A BLOODY ROOM?" came the voice of the irrepressible Thatz. Bierrez glared at him, then charged. Gil giggled. This new concept of returned love could well be the best thing that had ever happened to him. Even if it wasn't…now that he was alive and free, he could do whatever he wanted. And he would do it with the love of his life.