Author's note: Hey everybody, this is (surprisingly) not JoAMazing! I am her sister, PlushChrome. And this story is, pretty much, an accident. This entire first chapter was written by JoAmazing (who is too busy writing Liesmith to post this herself. XD Lazy much?) Anyway! Jo was writing this really cute little story about Cats in the Tower. It was fun, light, and might've slightly mentioned a little bit of angst here and there, but nothing major. All in all, it was written as a domestic Avengers fic, with no major plot or anything like that. As far as I know. 'Cause once she got me involved in chapter two, it escalated quickly. And I mean, super angsty, tension, and fighting between Steve and Tony. With overprotective JARVIS and Tony talking about his dad and then the Chitauri show up, and like it says in the summary, we end up with a Dark!Steve. Because, really, evil Captain America just sends shivers down your spine. SO ANYWAY! Lengthy Author's note just about over. (We're also planning on bringing Loki in, but we're leaving it open in case we decide not to.) So, first chapter is all Jo. Second chapter, is still pretty Jo, but I'm heavily involved. Also, we're both super busy, and even though we only have about seven Avengers stories posted here online between the two of us, we have about sixty Avengers stories we write together total here at home. Only the great ones get posted. Here's another great. Enjoy.
So I ramble. Sue me. ~PlushChrome
EDIT: So, (still PlushChrome here) It's been a few days since we posted this. Now, I try very hard to be perceptive. Like really, I try as much as I can to be perceptive. But sometimes, I'm totally oblivious to what people feel, and then it hits me later like a ton of bricks. The point to all this? I accidentally took over my sister's cute little story and turned it into something she didn't really want it to be, and I didn't see that until later. We're not gonna change either of these chapters, but don't worry, we're not gonna keep this as angsty as it was, and we're NOT gonna have Dark!Cap. I promise, we've got everything all planned out, it's not even gonna happen. Something else happens instead, and Steve's fine. And then we're gonna get back to the real story, the cute story of Jo's that I accidentally kinda messed up in chapter two. So, if chapter two turns you off, bear with me, I'm still learning. You know, how to read people like I can read stories.
They all knew it would happen someday, Steve Rogers coming home to Avengers Tower with a cat or a dog or a bird that he saved, but that did not mean that Tony had to be happy about it.
He, Clint, and Bruce were all hanging out in the kitchen. They were all extremely bored, especially Clint due to Natasha being away on business, and were arguing about who should make the coffee when Steve came in with a cardboard box in his arms that said 'KITTENS' on the side.
"Uh, that had better not be what I think it is," Tony groaned, though there was no mistaking that. "Look, I don't want any strays in my tower. I thought we talked about this."
"Dude," Clint said, jumping from his perch on top of the fridge and landing next to Steve. "The press is gonna eat this up. I can see the headlines already; Captain America rescues kittens!"
"His puppy helps," Tony muttered under his breath.
"What?" Bruce asked him curiously.
"Nothing," Tony said airily. "Just this thing that a kids toy says when you press a certain button. Pepper, um, made me babysit her nephews. That fire truck was mysteriously destroyed."
"I didn't rescue these," Steve protested. "I found them on our doorstep. And I don't see why rescuing them would be such a bad thing anyway."
"No," Tony said right away. Steve frowned.
"You don't even know what I'm going to say yet," He said, slightly annoyed.
"Yeah I do," Tony said sternly. "And the answer is no. No way. I hate animals and they hate me."
"Come on, Tony," Steve pleaded. "We have no idea where they came from, there's not even a note!"
"Nope. Never," Tony said. "Cats are durable, they'll live without us."
"We can't just turn them out on the street," Bruce said logically. "We'll have to find them a home."
"I know that trick," Tony sighed. "You think that if we keep them here for a while, I'm gonna get attached. But that's, uh, not gonna happen. I don't do cats or pets."
"Good morning, shield brothers," Thor said, coming into the room. "What do you have in that box, Friend Steve?"
"Thor, we are not keeping them," Tony said firmly.
"What do you mean, I..." Thor trailed off as Steve pulled a gray calico kitten from the box and showed it to him. "Awww."
"No," Tony said again, taking the cat before Thor could grab it. "I told you, we're not keeping - OW!"
The little kitten bit his finger, and when Tony dropped it, the cat shot away from him and under the kitchen table.
"Do you see?" Tony exclaimed as Thor got on his hands and knees to try and coax the cat out from it's hiding spot. "Cats hate me!"
"You just startled it," Thor defended the cat.
Steve pulled another cat from the box, this one blonde with orange on the top of it's head and on it's paws, and handed it to Bruce.
"They are cute," Bruce said, fondling the cats ears.
"Not you too, Bruce," Tony groaned. "I thought we were a team."
"Sorry, Tony," Bruce said with a smile, handing Tony the cat. "But this one looks like your suit."
"It does not," Tony grumbled, taking the cat and holding it away from him.
"That's a he," Bruce told him. "And he really does. See the red on his paws? And the red and gold on his face looks like your helmet."
"Whatever," Tony said, tossing the kitten to the floor.
"Tony," Steve exclaimed disapprovingly as the cat hit the floor. "You don't just throw kittens around like that! They're fragile!"
The red and gold cat stood up and yawned before batting at Tony's leg. "Hey!" He said, pulling his leg away. "Stop that."
"Apparently not very fragile," Clint remarked with an eye roll. "And it just wants to get up again."
"Then why don't you pick it up?" Tony demanded, inching away from the kitten.
"Because I already have one," Clint said, gesturing to his lap where, sure enough, a pure orange kitten was sitting.
"How did you..." Steve started, furrowing his eyebrows and looking at the box next to him. He hadn't seen Clint anywhere near it.
Clint smirked.
"I am calling him Aumunder," Thor proclaimed, having finally gotten the grey cat out from under the table. The cat now was placed on the blonde's shoulder.
"How about 'We're not getting attached to these things'?" Tony suggested. "You can't name them!"
"But I already did," Thor said as if that changed everything. "Does he not look like an Aumunder?"
"He could look like Grumpy Cat and I still wouldn't want him," Tony said.
Thor gave him the puppy dog eyes and Aumunder hissed.
"We'll compromise," Bruce told Tony soothingly. "We'll try to find the cats a good home, but until we do, they'll stay with us."
"What's gonna happen when you all get attached?" Tony sighed. "And Thor cries when they have to leave?"
"I will not cry," Thor said, looking scandalized.
"Bruce, that is an excellent idea," Steve smiled as he pet the pure blonde cat he was holding. The cat purred. "You see that?" He smiled down at the feline. "Louise likes the idea, too."
Tony groaned. 'I'm gonna go down to the workshop," he said. "I'll run some ads for a good home while I'm down. DON'T get too attached." With that, the billionaire left, and Steve looked back into the box.
"This is the last one," he said, pulling a little brown kitten from the box. Clint's favorite cat hissed at it, and the little kitten backed against the couch.
"Whoa there, cat," Clint said, stroking his cat soothingly. "You know what? This cat needs a name. I can't keep calling it cat."
"What about Sally?" Steve suggested.
"I like the name Celina!" Thor exclaimed, walking forward to sit on the couch.
He almost sat on the little brown cat, who mewed pitifully and darted away just in time.
Bruce, who had been debating whether or not to join Tony in the workshop, let out a small gasp.
"What is it?" Thor asked him curiously.
"Oh, nothing," Bruce told him. "It's just, you almost sat on the little brown cat."
"Oh, my sincerest apologies, brown cat," Thor said to the cat. Aumunder jumped on his lap and batted at the brown kitten.
"Aumunder," Thor scolded, pulling the cat away. "That is no way to treat your brother!"
Aumunder simply bit down on Thor's hand and curled into a ball.
"How about... Lillianne," Clint suggested for the red cat.
"No, that doesn't suit her," Steve said contemplatively. "How about Lilac?"
"That's a stupid name," Clint frowned. "And she seems more refined than that. Like a Karina or something."
"No, that's Spanish," Steve protested. "And she's not the Spanish type."
"You're right," Clint agreed. "She's more... French. Something like Mara Anne."
"I like the Anne part," Steve agreed. "And the two different names. What about Ava Anne?"
"Thor, you have to be more careful than that," Bruce exclaimed as Thor had flung out one of his arms and actually hit the little cat across the face. "You're a lot stronger than you think and this cat is much smaller than you."
"Aye, my apologies once again, little kitten," Thor said solemnly, while trying to pick up Aumunder, who had dug his claws into his pant leg. "Aumunder! Get off!"
He finally wrenched the stubborn kitten off of him, but accidentally launched it at the brown kitten, who darted away so quickly that he fell off the couch and then spun around and ran away, half climbed the curtains (Tony wouldn't be happy) and perched on the windowsill.
Aumunder mewed and climbed up Thor until he was perched on his head. Thor yiped and pulled the cat off of his head, but held it so that he wouldn't try again.
"I'm thinking more like..." Clint trailed off and started laughing at Thor, having just tuned into the other conversation.
"I think you got the difficult one, Thor," Steve chuckled sympathetically. Aumunder hissed at him and snapped his claws into Thor's arm.
"Indeed, friend," Thor said before he smiled slightly. "But I do like him very much. Perhaps he will not be so unmanageable once he is more used to us."
"He certainly seems attached to you," Bruce agreed, but he was distracted, as the brown cat was still shaking on the window sill. "Hey," To the brown cat. "It's okay. I won't hurt you."
"So, I'm thinking maybe Iva," Clint told Steve. "Iva Anne?"
"That doesn't sound long enough," Steve said. "Maybe Iva Celina. That would make Thor happy."
"This isn't Thor's cat," Clint pointed out. "He has that demon cat already."
"Aumunder is not a demon!" Thor exclaimed, offended. "He's just uncertain of his surroundings. Isn't that right, Aumunder?"
"You have Louise and Bruce is already worrying about that brown cat-" Clint started, making Bruce turn around.
"I'm not trying to get attached," He said uncertainly, gesturing to the cat on the sill. Both Clint and Steve looked doubtful.
"You've been worrying about it ever since Tony left," Clint said. "I can tell. I think it's cause you couldn't worry about Tony anymore." Before Bruce could comment, Clint looked up, startled. "Hey, where's that blonde and orange one that you said looked like him, anyway?"
"I don't know," Steve answered for Bruce. "I think it must've followed him. I'll go get it."
He made to stand.
"No, wait," Clint protested. "Leave the cat be. I bet that by the end of this week, Tony's attached to it."
"Who could resist these adorable creatures?" Thor agreed ecstatically.
"Plus, he's way too vain to turn out something that looks like him," Clint laughed.
"How about Iva Annemarie?" Steve piped up, still looking at the red cat, trying to decide.
"How about Iva Annalisa?" Thor chimed in, as he rifled one handedly through Tony's cupboard, and then he tossed a can over his head in frustration. "THIS FOOD IS COMPLETE RUBBISH!"
"Whoa, Thor, what's wrong?" Steve said at the same time that Clint said "That's it! Iva Annalisa!"
"The Man of Iron has no food that's appropriate for little beasts!" Thor shouted. "He has absolutely NO ANIMAL FOOD!"
Aumunder swiped at him in annoyance.
"Look, it's fine," Steve said. "We can get some cat food. And while we're at it, we can get a litter box - or a few litter boxes, more like - and maybe even some cat toys."
"Good idea," Clint agreed. "We need a cat tree as well. And some laser pointers and those mechanical mice that run on batteries."
"Yeah," Steve said, though he looked slightly confused. "When do you think we should go to the store?"
Bruce tuned them out as he reached up to the window sill, petting the brown kitten gently. "Hey," He said to it softly. "I'm Bruce." The cat blinked at him with big blue eyes, making Bruce smile. "We're not gonna hurt you. Thor's a little rough, but he's used to bigger animals."
After a few minutes, the kitten let Bruce pick it up, and the doctor walked him back to the couch. The little kitten curled up against him and yawned.
"Poor Tony," Clint smirked, watching Bruce stroking the kitten. "Now he really doesn't have anyone on his side. We're totally keeping these cats." He looked thoughtful. "I wonder what Tasha will say."
"For some reason she doesn't strike me as the pet type," Bruce said with a small smile. "But I don't think they'd bother her that much. Poor Tony."
"Aye," Thor agreed. "It seems as though we are already getting attached, my friends. I would be hard pressed to remove myself from my little Aumunder and Friend Steve seems most devoted to Louise as well."
"Normally I'm not an animal person," Clint said. "But Iva is just so pretty." He petted the orange cat, who purred and blinked her grey colored eyes.
"Guys, we might not be able to keep them," Bruce reminded them. "This is Tony's house."
"That's why we want him to become attached to that McDonalds one," Clint said with an eye roll.
"McDonalds?" Thor asked in confusion. "I do not understand. I thought the one similar to Friend Stark has yet to acquire a name."
"McDonalds is a restaurant," Steve told him. "It's colors are red and yellow."
"Hence McDonalds cat," Clint said. "That's not it's actual name. I bet it's name will end up being something like Kitty Stark or some other stupid thing like that. It's the kind of thing Stark would do."
"We should get them all collars," Steve spoke up. "With their names on them and a phone number or address so if they get lost people can know they belong to somebody."
"Steve," Bruce cut in warily. "They're not actually ours yet."
"Mmhm," Clint nodded. "And that's why you're gonna go talk to Tony and get him all attached to Goldie. I'm sure he followed him down stairs anyway."
"But-" Bruce protested.
"We'll watch the brown one," Clint said, waving an airy hand. "We won't let Thor sit on him or anything. You know you're the only one that Tony will listen to, and if we give these cats away they might end up in a bad place. What if we gave them to some psycho accidentally and they ended up getting drowned?"
Bruce bit his lip and looked down at the brown kitten.
"Doctor Banner," Thor said, his eyes wide. "I could not bear it if something like that were to happen to my Aumunder." He looked down at the calico kitten, now curled up in his arms with its tail swishing occasionally, with adoring eyes.
How he got so attached so fast was beyond Bruce.
"We're not asking for much," Clint said, shrugging his shoulders. "You don't have to tell him to keep them. Just point out the good things about having cats."
"If we can't keep them it's okay," Steve said sadly. "We understand that Tony's not really a cat person. I just hope we can find them a good home."
"Fine," Clint sighed, crossing his arms. "Whatever. Give them away." He pushed Iva Annalisa off of his lap. "Sorry, Girl," He said sulkily. "I can't get too attached if we're just gonna throw you out."
"But Aumunder is already mine," Thor said, looking heartbreakingly sad and confused as he clutched the cat closer to him. "He will not do well on his own."
"He won't be on his own," Bruce said, pushing down his guilt. "We'll get him a good owner."
"But I am his owner," Thor protested. "I understand him and he loves me." As if to prove Thor's point, Aumunder purred and rubbed his head against Thor's arm.
"And what about Brownie?" Clint asked. "I know, Bruce. And, whatever, we give the cats away." He shrugged again. "But the brown one is terrified of everything, imagine the trouble he could get into and he wouldn't be able to get out of it either."
"Guys," Steve said, holding up his hands. "I want to keep the kittens too, but at the end of the day this is Tony's choice. It's his house, his stuff, and his money we'd be using to pay the expenses. We can't ask him to take in five cats that he doesn't like just because we all want to keep them. We're all living here, and that's a stretch for Stark to begin with, these kittens will just add to how much he has to give. I know he has a lot of money, and we all like the cats, but Bruce is right."
Bruce sighed, putting his head in his hands. They were trying to pull at his heart strings and he knew that. The only one who was probably honest in what they said was Thor, who couldn't lie for the life of him.
They did have their points though. And Bruce had to give Steve credit. He was saying all the right things, but with just enough of an undertone of 'Tony is selfish and we shouldn't try his patience' to make Bruce want to prove him wrong.
Plus, Clint was right when he said that Tony only listened to Bruce. He didn't trust the others or communicate well with them.
It was funny, though, because Clint and Tony got along just fine. And though Tony didn't exactly trust Clint, he was getting closer to the archer little by little. Thor, Tony liked, but never really talked with more than comments on how much Poptarts Thor ate on a regular basis and asking him not to summon thunder in the Tower.
And as far as Steve went, Bruce kind of figured out that there was some bad blood there at least on Tony's part. He was overly light with Steve sometimes, or sometimes he didn't talk to him at all. And as far as respect went, Tony had none, or at least pretended he didn't.
Steve tried to get along with him, but they had conflicting personalities, and when Tony didn't follow orders he tended to get frustrated. He couldn't really see beyond Tony's front of being a jerk, and so the trust between the two was mutually low.
If Steve told Tony to keep the cats, Tony would never even attempt to listen. Even Thor had figured that out.
So it was left to Bruce. He always did the Tony stuff. The dragging him out of his workshop, taking away his wine bottle after a few drinks, telling him that he needs to stop getting himself hospitalized, and talking him into anything and everything.
The brown cat mewed and Bruce groaned.
"How do you guys talk me into this stuff?" He sighed, standing up and handing Clint the brown cat.
"Thanks, Banner," Clint said with an easy smile.
"Indeed, Friend," Thor said, looking relieved. "You have the eternal gratitude of both Aumunder and myself."
"You don't have to, Doctor," Steve tried.
"Yeah, yeah," Bruce muttered, walking out of the room.
Why was it always him?
Tony was working on his tank missiles, listening to a new find called Skillet when Jarvis interrupted him.
"Sir," The AI was saying. "One of the new kittens has gotten into the workshop."
"How did it bypass security?" Tony demanded, looking up from his work.
"I don't know, Sir," Jarvis said unhelpfully. "It's a cat, it may have found it's way through the door."
Tony frowned. "It's the slidey doors, J," He pointed out, turning back to his suit.
"Perhaps you should think of removing it before you continue working," Jarvis suggested.
"Ugh, fine," Tony groaned.
He stood and looked around, trying to locate the little monster. After a second, he spotted it standing on one of the tables. It was the one that Bruce had said looked like his suit.
"Hey," He said, stepping toward it. "No. You don't get to be here."
The cat blinked at him and flicked his tail.
"Fine," Tony sighed. "I guess we're gonna do this the hard way."
He went to grab the cat, but it darted away and tried to climb up the leg of one of Tony's new suit projects, slipping down and landing on the ground.
"No, I'm Iron Man, not you," Tony told him. "For one thing, you're not a man. And for another, you couldn't fit into a suit, let alone operate one."
The cat meowed and rubbed up against the leg.
"Yeah, I know," Tony said. "Everyone wants to be me. But you're not human. So you can't. What you can do, however, is let me throw you out, and then you can go hang with your peers."
The cat didn't move, so Tony tried to pick it up again, and this time it worked.
The cat purred and rubbed it's head against Tony's chin.
"That's not going to work on me," Tony informed it, carrying it to the door. "You have to go away so I can actually get something done. Go to Steve and make him give you some milk. He loves cats."
But as soon as Tony dropped the feline, it turned and darted through the door again, blinking at him with big blue eyes.
After several more tries, Tony gave up trying to make the cat leave, but spent the next half-hour of his time glancing around for it, or moving it away from his equipment.
"We talked about this," Tony sighed after tugging the cat away from a disconnected metal arm. "The position of Iron Man has already been filled. You really need to find your own identity."
"Maybe he can be Iron Cat," Bruce said from the doorway.
Tony whirled around. "Hey," He said, relieved. "Uh, can you get this cat away from me?"
"I think he likes you," Bruce smiled.
"Well, too bad for it," Tony said. "Because I don't like him very well. He keeps trying to get into my stuff."
"Inferiority complex?" Bruce joked. Tony shrugged.
"May be," He said professionally. "It's hard to tell with these sort of case - Hey!" The last part was directed to the red and gold cat, as it had just jumped on his shoulder and was now staring at Bruce.
"So," Tony said, ignoring the animal on his shoulder for now. "How attached is everyone getting?"
"Well, Steve and Thor are already talking about cat toys," Bruce relayed. "And Steve and Clint finally agreed on what to name the orange one. It's now Iva Annalisa."
"Great," Tony said, rolling his eyes before something occurred to him. "Wait, weren't there five? I know Iron Cat's down here..."
"Yeah, there were five," Bruce nodded. "The other one is probably still upstairs. Either that or he followed me down here. I think he chose me as his person."
"That would be the little brown one," Tony deduced. "The one that Steve never took out of the box."
"He took him out once you left," Bruce said. "But the kitten seemed really cautious. Didn't want to walk around too much. And Thor was being a bit rowdy so I took him and put him on the couch with me."
"And his name?" Tony asked, thinking that of course Bruce would've picked the little quiet one who was almost stepped on. Bruce blushed.
"I-I haven't picked one," He said.
"But you have one in mind," Tony guessed. When Bruce didn't say anything, he sighed. "Okay. What do you have in mind?"
"I was thinking about Schrodinger," Bruce admitted.
"Like Schrodinger's cat," Tony nodded. "Only you could come up with a name like Schrodinger. So we have Iva Annalisa, Louise, Aumunder, and Schrodinger."
"Don't forget Iron Cat," Bruce said.
Tony looked at the cat on his shoulder, who blinked back at him, and then Tony picked him up and deposited him on the floor before walking away.
Iron Cat gave him a wounded look before following him, and Bruce chuckled. This was going to be interesting.
"So are you gonna tell me to keep the cats?" Tony asked after working for a while, as he welded two wires together.
Bruce frowned, holding onto Iron Cat so that he wouldn't get in the way and wondering where on earth Tony had gotten tiny little cat goggles.
"I'm not going to tell you that," Bruce said. "I'm not going to say I don't want to keep the cats, but I know where you're coming from. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."
"Is that what Steve told you to say?" Tony asked, smirking.
"No," Bruce told him. "He said something more like 'this is Tony's house and we don't have a say in it'."
"He said that?" Tony faked a laugh and turned back to his work.
"I think he was trying to help," Bruce lied.
"Right," Tony said. "Perfect Captain America."
"I didn't say that," Bruce protested. "And neither did Iron Cat. We're on your side." To lighten the mood.
It worked. Tony fondled the kitten's ears and gave Bruce an affectionate pat on the shoulder before turning back to his work.
Bruce had no idea why everyone thought he was so cold hearted.
"So," Tony said. "Schrodinger didn't follow you down here?"
"I don't think so," Bruce said, looking around cautiously. "Like I said, he might've. But Clint had him when I left."
"Didn't he have the orange one?" Tony asked.
"Yeah, he did," Bruce agreed. "Iva. But she seemed slightly more independent."
"Pepper's gonna love this," Tony sighed as he stopped welding and took off the goggles. "She's always liked cats and now we have five."
Bruce tried not to smile. Tony was already saying he wanted to keep the cats, subconsciously of course.
"Sir," JARVIS said from the ceiling. "It appears that the brown cat – Little Schrodinger – Is outside the door. I assume he is looking for Doctor Banner."
Bruce grimaced apologetically.
"Fine," Tony sighed. "Go get him, I'm fine with it."
"Thanks Tony," Bruce said, walking to the clear door and clicking it open. Schrodinger padded in and stopped at Bruce's legs, seeming scared of Tony, who took Iron Cat from Bruce and grinned.
"So this is it," He said. "Yep. The small weaker kitten who's scared of people. Your type."
"And of course you would pick the ambitious, out-there cat who wants to be Iron Man and can fit in your tiny safety goggles," Bruce countered.
"I don't even know where I got those," Tony said with a small shrug. "Maybe Pepper got them?"
"Do you have two?" Bruce asked, motioning to Schrodinger. "Cause if not I'm thinking we'll have to put Schrodinger out for now."
"Uh, JARVIS?" Tony called. "Do we have two sets of tiny safety goggles?"
"I was unaware we had one set, Sir," the AI responded.
Tony pursed his lips and then groaned. "Alright, no more welding for now," He conceded, pulling the little goggles off of Iron Cat and pushing his own pair up so that they looked like odd sunglasses.
Bruce did the same with his own goggles.
"Maybe I'll work on some less dangerous projects," Tony said thoughtfully, setting Iron Cat on the work table. "JARVIS, pull up the blueprints for the StarkPhone II: H- attempt 9."
"Of course, Sir," JARVIS Complied. "And should I get H-attempt 10 prepped as well?"
Three minutes later, they were immersed in perfecting all the apps for Clint's personalized StarkPhone mark II, the cats playing on the table.
And when Steve came to get them for breakfast the next morning, he found Tony and Bruce collapsed next to the table, fast asleep with Iron Cat and Schrodinger curled up on their laps.