Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just play with them.

Despite Protest

In another time and place, in a different world, these cold walls would not mock. The guise of warmth and invitation would not cause her grief, and cause tears to slide down her cheeks of the memories these walls had witnessed.

Pain etched and marred the fine contours of her face. Crumpled the serenity of her eyes

In another time and place these walls had witnessed a love that was so sure that there was left little to the imagination of where the future held. The situation was an impossible one she knew. One of her own doing. But yet she couldn't help to feel the pang of heartache and rejection every time she saw him. Even though she knew why.

Within her heart she knew he loved her, cherished her, and would do anything for her if he could. But he couldn't now. And she hated herself for letting the need of his touch drive her to this point.

The fires of Heaven now coursed through Jace, and it made intimacy at length an impossible feat. Clary knew that she had to, and she was so grateful that her friends had found a way to separate him from Sebastian.

A pang, sharp and twisting went through her heart. I was all his fault. She knew she could never trust him. And doubly hated herself for her short time of confusion in which she thought that maybe, just maybe he had a heart. She had begun to call him Jonathan. His given name. To her it was a sign of her hesitant acceptance. However fleeting the moment had passed. And she had realized what was the truth.

Jace, appearing to her with his mind intact had solidified and cemented her resolve to despise her brother and disown the idea that they had been born from the same two people. Sebastian, was the name she called him now. A symbol of her rejection. However small the effort. And though he couldn't hear her. It gave her a sense of separation from him. To separate the acknowledgement of their blood.

And yet despite her victory in separating the boy she loved from the boy she loathed. It seems she freed him only to bind him in another way.

He rarely touched anyone and often closed himself off from others. Refusing to risk an accident in which he might unwittingly harm, or do something worse to the people he cared about.

And Clary missed him. So much so that the ache pulsed through her. Seized her heart in a vice and clenched it. Sometimes the shock as a jolt of emotion shot through her made her fall other knees.

Most days she hid this from the others. A weak excuse and fake smile that she knew everyone could see through. But it didn't matter…

And in her darkest moments she wished for the dimension house and the warmth the altered Jace who held her while she slept. Because even though he was bound to Sebastian, he was free to touch her. And because of Brother Zachariah she knew that at his core she was his world.

Damn the morals of her heart though. Knowing he was a free spirit and that he would hate to live like that no matter if they were together or not.

Clary lay awake in her room at the institute. Her eyes fixated on a spot on the ceiling that was illuminated by the pale moonlight that filtered in through the high arched window. It had been months since her time in the dimension house. Time seemed to have both passed slowly and also as if none had passed at all.

She could remember her time there with such Clarity that she could close her eyes and seemingly relive the moments. Only to open her eyes again and shudder as she felt the ache of longing for Jace's touch.

Lately he had become so afraid to hurt her that he didn't even want to hold her hand. And even though she understood his reasoning's. It was frustrating. Not to mention cause rift in their relationship. To her even if they were next to each other, they might as well be oceans apart.

She shifted her gaze to stare out the window. Remembering a similar vision with the memory of warm golden arms circling around her.

She closed her eyes and as she fell asleep another face filled her thoughts. Of a boy with pale hair and dark haunting eyes. Eyes that scared her. Not because of whom they belonged to, but because despite her vehement protesting, knew that he could see right through her.

Something was vaguely familiar about the situation. She was fighting with Sebastian in the dimension house. He was hovered over her, and had just reached down to fumble with the button of her jeans. Shock coursed through her and she hit him in his distraction. He was momentarily caught off guard. But that was all the time she needed.

She wrestled with him switching their position so she was straddling him a piece of glass gripped in her bloody hand.

His laughter filling the room. A twinge of familiarity shivered through her causing her to shift. But in doing so she suddenly became acutely aware of the body under her.

The sinewy musculature, lean and roped over strong bone. His body pulsing with adrenaline vibrated under her as his laughter made his body rumble.

Suddenly she couldn't breathe. Her heart hammering as she lost focus, lost to the sensation of the feel of the body under her. The air was rushing in and out of her nose in short labored bursts as she caught her lower lip between her teeth.

The boy under her stopped and gave her a quizzical look, cocking his head to the side. He brought his hands to her hips unsure. She could tell he was preparing himself to throw her of at a moment's notice.

With a loud scream she brought the glass down inches from his neck, but this time she didn't sit back up. Her face had stopped inches from his so close his breath washed over her face. One hand pressed to the floor for support the other rested on his chest. She could feel the hard sure pounding of his heart thrum against her palm. She afraid to move though her heart was racing as well.

Silence filled the room until she couldn't stand it any longer, and as if she couldn't control herself she whispered leaning closer to barely brush her lips against his.

"A garden kept is your sister."

And then her lips were on his hard, the hand on his chest moved to thread through the pale bloodied strands of his hair.

At first the boy under her seemed frozen, but then like a parched man he sprang to life as he drank of his sister's kiss. And her body trembled from the pleasure of it all.

It was like a release, all the pent up frustration now had a place to go.

He rolled her over, glass crunched under her back, but she ignored it. The boy's deft lips left a blazing trail over her jawline and neck. He nipped at her collarbone and his fingers slithered over her skin.

Somewhere in her hazy thoughts she knew this was all wrong that this was not how things had went, but her mind was overcome by the sheer intensity of the pleasure she was experiencing, she was unwilling to stop and assess the situation.

This time when she felt his fingers at her jeans button, she didn't stop him. This time she reached up and tore at his shirt ripping it from his pale bloody flesh. Exposing a torso chiseled and defined. Her hands splayed across it were somewhat stark. Even as light as her own skin was, his was lighter still.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her returning her mouth to his. She felt his own hands and strong arms move under her and lift her effortlessly. And then they were moving. She didn't know where to, but it wasn't long before her back was pressed painfully to a wall, his body follower to hold her there. Hips grinding into her core to elicit an involuntary moan that resonated from deep within her. His own rumbling deep and animalistic in response.

His hands gripping her shit and ripping it much in the same way she had his and then pulling it from her body. Her arms lifting automatically as his fingers slipped under her bra and pulled it over her head.

For a moment he stopped and just stared at her. She didn't know what to do, but to stare at him back, resting her hands on his shoulders tightening her legs around him as she saw his eyes darken even more as he took the sight of her in.

Then his lips were on hers in a heated frenzy that left her breathless. She held on to him as she dropped her legs then keeping her lips on his as she finished undoing her jeans and pushed them down her legs as fast as she could. When she stood again she was in a cage of his arms. One pressed to the wall on each side of her head. And he was panting hard.

Her eyes on his she slowly pressed her palms to his chest. His muscles rippling where she touched him. Slowly she slid her hands down to his hips, keeping her eyes on his as she deftly undid his belt and unbuckled his pants. The sound of the zipper as it was undone was magnified in the quiet room save for only the heavy breaths that rushed raggedly from their chests.

She was nervous and felt empowered at the same time. The darkness that seemed to fill his eyes with desire served only to make her bolder as she reached inside the confines of the fabric to wrap her small hand over and around hard silken flesh and draw it out.

His head fell on her shoulder, turning to nuzzle at her neck. Tentatively she encircled the shaft wither her hand and gently stroked it. She felt a shudder run through his body. So she continued to move her hand over him. Slow and gentle. Unsure of what to do, her movements instinctual. She felt him move pressing into her hand and retracting, the movement coming quicker as his lips began to pepper her neck coupled with little nips and the grazing of sharp teeth.

She began to tremble again as his mouth moved over the flesh at the curve of her neck, her hand moving quicker over his shaft. Finally her other hand found his hair and pulled him back only to capture his lips in a hungry kiss. It was demanding and each fought against each other for control. Neither relinquishing, but melding together in a way that had them both gripping at each other once again. Her other hand having stopped and moved to his neck to pull him closer. One leg coming up to wrap around his hip. And as his hard flesh brushed past her core briefly she gasped.

Then just as quickly his large hands reached down and cupped her bottom and hoisted her up against the wall again and guided her legs around his waist. He ground against her harshly, unrelenting, but never entering her. It was agonizing. Just when she though he might his hips would move in a way that prevented it from happening yet again.

She was on fire. And there was an ache, a need so intense that she whimpered in his ear as he bit at her neck.
"Please." She whispered. Her voice husky and pleading.

"Please what Clarissa?" He whispered. His voice shaky as though he was struggling with something. As his lips moved against the shell of her ear she shivered again.

"Jonathan, please….take..me."

With an animal like groan he moved suddenly, positioning himself, then gazed into her eyes as he, without preamble filled her. And as she screamed he swallowed it as his mouth pressed to hers.

The sudden sharpness, the unbridled stretch that seemed impossible. The tense corded muscles that her nails ha dug into as she sheathed himself rippling under her hands. And then he started to move. At first it was painful, but in a way that left her feeling full. A fullness that was unlike she had ever felt before.

It was heady and intoxicating, and soon pleasure was filling her and making her toes curl and she held on for dear life. He pounded her into the wall. Their grunts and moans filling the room until she could feel something within her growing and tightening, coiling in a way that had her screaming his name and her nails dragging across his back trails of blood marring the already heavily scarred flesh.

Her eyes involuntarily fell shut suddenly her body tensed and she curled around him so tight that she didn't know what to do except to dig her teeth into shoulder. This only caused him to quicken his pace. The erratic movement suddenly stopped as he shoved himself within her as hard as he could pressing her even more into the wall to the point of being painful.

His body trembling as it seemed to quake within her. The pulse teasing her already sensitized core and making her whimper.

When he body relaxed she slowly opened her eyes then gasped.

There over the boys shoulder standing in the doorway was another boy. One with golden locks, and a pained shocked expression.

Clary sat up in bed panting hard clutching at her chest. Her skin was clammy from sweat and tingled with remembered touches. And as she lay back her heart filled with an unwanted guilt. Because in her darkest thoughts, she knew she enjoyed it. Despite how much she wanted to protest.

AN~ I do hope you enjoy. This is just a tidbit that I got carried away with. I will be trying to catche the muse for my the story My Brother's keeper. But until them this one is being nice to me so Im gonn apay attention. Writers block sucks so im gonna run with this until I can get motivated for the other. I do hope you enjoy though. Please REVIEW! Thanks. ~ D.I