I ran forward, without a care. My thoughts had left rationality a while a go, and they weren't going to return soon. Salty drops had already cascaded freely and, for me, that meant my heart had been opened for once.
"Dumb ass heart with dumb breakable wall," I growled through gritting teeth, still running, still not caring. I'm not one to cry, or let anything get to me. Tears always stay constrained when you learn that rejection is normal in your life. It was a major player in mine. Not love rejection: that I really could care less about. I'm thinking more along the lines of straight out family rejection. I am the out cast in mine, but I'm used to it: I deal with it. No, tears didn't come because of that. These droplets fell with raw sadness, laced with confusion
'Always me isn't it,' I wondered, not having much breath left to talk to myself anymore. The sadness felt strange to me. I wanted it to leave, but it was telling me "Nope, deal with me."
I felt out of breath shortly, and decided passing out would not be pleasurable at the moment, so I settled by a tree to rest. Countless images flashed by my eyes, recalling events, recalling my tears. Death wasn't new to me, just to say the least. In fact, we became close friends, but he had an obsession with me. I had told him countless times to go see a shrink, but he though himself perfectly healthy. Right now, though, I knew Death was perfectly insane and needed major counseling.
In my life, I hold few things dear to me. Most things, I couldn't care less about. I guess I hold food, clothes, books, and a couple friends close to me. I guess I have more like one friend now… Hinata. I used to have 2: Hinata and Ami. But, like I said, Death is mental right now and should be quarantined. Maybe a restraining order would work for a little. At the moment, he had taken another person close to me. One of the few people I hold dear.
'She's gone, she told me crying is okay, so here I am Ami, crying for you,' I thought slowly, wishing the flow would stop. To me tears were just small droplets of weakness that showed on your face and slid slowly to the floor. To Ami, they were, well had been, a way to express emotions, like happiness or sadness. Her arguments had always been better, so I had eventually succumbed to her theory: even if I never shed a tear.
I lifted my head up slowly and glanced at the darkening sky overhead. I sighed and rubbed my eyes. Soon, it'd be dark and I would never find my way home. Making the wise decision, my arms slowly pushed up from the damp ground I had been sitting on. My feet picked up speed as they guided me back to where I'd been. Smaller branches whipped my face and I could feel the cuts open. The sting brought more tears to my eyes and I cursed under my breath.
It didn't take me long to stumble upon my jail, my house, again. The pale sun had slowly starting to set below the tops of tall trees. Their long shadows stretched along my house, creating an eerie effect.
"Perfect," I mumbled, walking up to the wooden front door. It opened with a slight creak, but, hell, it always did. Few lights were on, except for those in the kitchen and the one in the family room. My step mom was probably cooking dinner while the men in the family became slobs in front of the television. I, myself, avoided both rooms and climbed up the wooden stairs that rested in front of me. Each one sunk a little when I applied pressure and each one creaked as I stepped. 45 steps later, I reached the top and strolled away to my poor excuse for a room.
A small cot lay in the right corner, a thin white blanket the only comfort it allowed. Next to it, a reading lamp rested on a brown side table, books stacked up around it. Cardboard boxes contained clothes and shoes, five of them stacked together. A small mirror was attached to the wall and a picture was clipped to it. My slender fingers touched it slowly, gliding over the faces that smiled in the picture. Three girls stood next to each other: one with blue hair, long like a rushing waterfall, one with black that sparkled in the pale lights of the stars and moon, and one with pink hair, matching the blossoms that fall and dance in the hair. I sighed and walked over to the bed. Sadness and tears made me tired, weary. My eyes closed when I hit the pillow.