Professor McGonagall screamed. Someone had broken into her chamber and stolen her books. She looked around, and saw bits of broken glass and blood everywhere. A lone tear dropped from her eye, corrupting the luminescent red spillage on her floor.
She knew there was only one thing to do. She clambered over the mess and opened her cabinet, which was miraculously not broken into. Pushing away diamonds, emeralds and sapphires, she collected a small vial, containing a grey solution.
The cork of the vial was small and round. She pulled it out, and pressed it gently into the floor. It slowly faded red, and she pushed it back into the neck of the bottle. Subsequently, she hurried off to Professor Dumbledore's office, where she encountered a rather rude gargoyle.
"Password?" the stone beast commanded.
"SHERBET LEMONS!" she shouted, pointing her hands at the statue.
"Not coming in. You're being rude."
"I HAVE BEEN ROBBED!" she shouted, struggling to keep her composure. "Ahem. May I please see Professor Dumbledore, Crispin?"
"No."
She sighed, and whipped out her wand. She aimed it at the statue's genitals and spoke again.
"Unless you let me in, I will confringo you to high heaven. Don't test me, beast."
"No need to be so rude…" the gargoyle moaned, slowly swivelling around.
"You're one…" Professor McGonagall replied.
As she arrived in the headmaster's office, she saw what was stolen. Her prize signed copy of Witch Knockers? Annual 1977.
"IT WAS YOU!" she screamed.
"You forget, Minnie, that I am a flaming homosexual." Dumbledore replied, with the patience of a saint.
"Oh. Hmm." She replied.
"Minerva…" Dumbledore stammered. "Could you show me your animagus form?"
Professor McGonagall looked confused, but nevertheless obliged.
Dumbledore hissed, and McGonagall screamed. As a cat, her cat instincts took over, and she went running out of the only exit: an open window.
Dumbledore giggled.
"That's one more pussy I'll never touch."