Love, Never Forgotten

By Spunky0ne

(For Spunky's Nakama - Thank you for taking care of me! *hugs* What a wonderful friend you are. I am so very lucky to have you! This is a sweet, but angsty Bya/Ren (Renji in distress) and Ichigo/Tetsuya story. Enjoy!)

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Chapter 1: Secret Prince

The solemn click of his chamber door opening brought the red haired man awake and made him turn instinctively towards the sound. He heard a familiar limping step coming in from the dark hallway and groaned softly. The footsteps stopped just short of his bed and he heard the soft rustle of clothes being shed. A warm body slid into the bed beside him, and the redhead flinched, but made no protest as the other man's cold, intrusive hands began to explore his naked, restrained body.

"You did well today, Aki. We made a lot of money. I don't enjoy letting those men put their hands on you, but they do pay well for the privilege. But work time is over. It is time for your reward."

The redhead said nothing, but offered no resistance as his master's fingers traced familiar pathways on his skin.

He really likes those markings, Aki mused inwardly, I wish that I could see them. Maybe if I saw them, then I would remember.

But Madoka had warned him before that he should not ask too many questions about his past.

"All you need to know is that your lover tried to kill you. He believed you were unfaithful, so he blinded you and beat you, giving you those injuries that stole your strength and left you like this. You were nearly dead when I found you and brought you here. Forget the past, Aki. It does no good to go back there.

But there was one bit of the past that he had been allowed to keep...one small thing that he would give anything to protect.

"Will I be allowed to see him today?" Aki asked softly.

He felt the weight of the other man's eyes touch him, and wasn't sure why that always made his skin crawl...or why it always felt somewhat wrong and even sickening to be caressed and kissed by him. But whatever his feelings were, they weren't enough to allow him to object. He laid still as Madoka's hands possessed him, guiding his mouth down to the man's hot nether region as the invasive fingers prepared him.

"We shall see," the man said in a softer, slightly breathy voice, "If you please me well, then I will let you go."

He put his best effort into the job he had been given, treating the other man's privates to a slow and intense, erotic exploration that made Madoka groan and sink his fingers into the redhead's thick mane until it hurt.

Aki was turned onto his belly, and the man entered him from behind, not wasting effort on patience as he thrust into the redhead's slightly shaking body.

I hate being weak.

I think that I must have been strong before. But I don't remember. I don't remember much at all before waking up here. Just pain. Darkness. And that angel's face that haunts me. It's the only thing that my eyes can still see. I wonder if it's the guy that Madoka speaks about. But that face could never belong to someone who would hurt me that way. It's not a cruel face, although I remember it looking sad before. I wonder what happened. I don't know if what Madoka told me is true or not. I only know I can't ask questions. He would kill my boy, and what's left of my heart would die with him.

No, it's better this way. It doesn't hurt too much, and he does take care of me. He pays for Kisho's schooling. That's what's important, keeping Kisho well. What happens to me stopped mattering a long time ago. I'm just hanging on until Kisho's grown up. Then...

His thoughts were interrupted as Madoka's body stiffened, and he felt the other man's heat fill him inside.

Madoka is a cold, insensitive bastard, but he is all that we have...Kisho and me. That other guy? I wonder if he even cares. I wonder if he knows I'm alive. But it doesn't matter. Nothing matters but my beautiful boy.

I know his eyes are gray and that mine are not.

I wonder if those other gray eyes ever cry because I am gone.

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"Kuchiki taichou?"

Byakuya blinked at the sudden invasion of his cousin's voice into his thoughts. He looked up from his work, still almost seeing his former red-haired fukutaichou sitting in the place his younger cousin now occupied. Tetsuya waited patiently for an answer, his intelligent sapphire eyes questioning.

"What is it, Kuchiki fukutaichou?" Byakuya asked quietly.

"I am finished with the last of the reports. The inventories are done and the deployments are posted."

"Ah, yes," the clan leader said, looking back down at the page in front of him, "And you are late for your date with the Shiba heir, ne?"

"A bit," Tetsuya confirmed, "But it's all right. Ichigo knows that things get busy here."

"You may go," Byakuya said, nodding, "Just mind that he treats you respectably, or he will have to deal with me."

"Of course," Tetsuya chuckled, looking amused, "Arigatou, Kuchiki taichou."

"Good evening, Kuchiki fukutaichou," Byakuya answered, a hint of affection in his voice.

He looked up for a moment as his cousin left the room, then started to look back down again, but found his eyes drifting to look at the fukutaichou's desk again. It stood empty now, meticulously cleared and ready for use the next day. The sword mount on the wall stood empty, but Byakuya could almost see Zabimaru set in place where Tetsuya's Re-kuhime usually rested now.

"Renji..." he whispered, closing his eyes against the soft catch inside that he still felt whenever he thought of his fallen subordinate.

But he was more than just a subordinate...more than someone I mentored and helped to grow. Renji was a good friend, a devoted colleague and the man I loved.

I should have told him sooner...

I have to live with that regret.

He shoved the weighty thought away and turned his attention back to the papers in front of him. He blinked in surprise, realizing that he was also finished with his share of the work. He sighed softly, not knowing quite what to do with himself. Walking home would have been fine, had Tetsuya been there to distract him, but alone, he would be far too inclined to look up at the stars and moon.

And doing that now was just painful.

I haven't been able to look up into the night sky since the night that we spent making love and looking up at it together. But at very least, that last night we had was beautiful. Renji looked serenely happy. The only thing that would have made him look happier would have been me saying the words.

I love you.

Is that so difficult?

I wonder why it seemed so hard to admit before. Was it because of Hisana? Did I somehow fear that if I said the words to him that he would leave me too?

Maybe that is why.

But if it is, then it was a stupid thing to do. He is just as gone from my life as he would be if I had said that to him. But...because I did not say it, I suffer deep regret.

Renji, I am sorry I didn't tell you. I love you, Renji. I will love you forever.

He was sure then, that he couldn't face walking home alone. He walked, instead, into the hallway and paused, caught between his quarters and what had been Renji's. When he finally found himself able to move again, he stepped, not in the direction of his own quarters, but what had been Renji's. Tetsuya had taken a room on the other side of the hall, next to Byakuya's, and so the former fukutaichou's room remained as it had been...a last sign that the red haired man named Abarai Renji had actually existed.

There wasn't much left in the room. Renji hadn't kept much there. A few uniforms, some personal effects and a few pictures. The one most proudly displayed, the one from his recent taichou's exam. And beneath it, the note he had sent the redhead with a congratulatory gift.

Renji, congratulations on your advancement to taichou's candidacy. I look forward to seeing you placed among the ranks of the taichous. It is something you have worked hard to earn and it is well deserved. Wear your haori with pride.

Byakuya

It hurt to think of the perfectly tailored haori that still waited, hanging in his closet at Kuchiki Manor, the newly inscribed eighth division insignia on the back. That Renji would never lay eyes on something he had worked so hard to earn seemed criminal. But Kuchiki Byakuya was well acquainted with the damning fact that life was not fair.

Dark emotions nipping at his heart, he sought one other thing that Renji had left in the room...several concealed bottles of strong sake. He picked up one of the bottles and sat down on Renji's bed, catching the redhead's fading scent and feeling tears beginning to rise in his eyes.

Before they could escape, he drowned the pain in swallow after swallow of the pale, burning liquid. He drank until everything around him had faded and he collapsed onto Renji's bed and fell into a discomfited, drunken sleep. He managed to avoid the tears until he was too far gone to realize he was shedding them.

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"Ichigo!" Tetsuya gasped softly, as the Shiba heir's arms wrapped around him from behind and Ichigo's lips made a line of kisses along the side of his pale throat, "I didn't even sense you that time. You are improving n your reiatsu control."

"Yeah, well, they insisted I had to, at some point," Ichigo chuckled, meeting Tetsuya's seeking mouth as the raven-haired beauty turned to face him.

"Hmmm..." Tetsuya moaned softly, forgetting completely what they were talking about and sinking more deeply into the other man's arms.

"How is Byakuya doing?"

Tetsuya sighed, pulling away and shaking his head briefly.

"He is the same. He pretends that things are normal, but I can feel his sadness. Ichigo, he and Renji were...very close."

"I know," the Shiba heir agreed, "Renji couldn't stop talking about his promotion. And the night before, he told me that he was meeting Byakuya for an actual date. I don't know if it ever happened, but..."

"It did," Tetsuya confirmed, "They were falling in love. It's so sad that all they had was that one night."

"Yeah," Ichigo agreed, sliding his hands beneath Tetsuya's clothes and caressing the soft, warm flesh beneath as they continued to kiss under the full moon, "It just goes to show we shouldn't waste time. We never know when time will run out for us. But...you know all about that, don't you?"

"Hmmm," Tetsuya sighed regretfully, "Yes. But, we cannot afford to be frozen in time, Ichigo. When love is lost and our hearts are broken, we must endure. Because, we never know when love will enter our lives again."

The two fell quiet as their kisses intensified, and Ichigo lowered Tetsuya slowly to the ground beneath the sakura tree they stood under. He undressed the lovely Kuchiki slowly and lovingly caressed the fine skin he had revealed, leaving the sapphire-eyed noble panting softly and sweetly blushing.

"So...will you let me make love to you tonight?" Ichigo asked, shifting so that Tetsuya could feel the heat of his arousal against one soft, bared thigh.

"Ah...I...I want to, but..."

"Stop right there," Ichigo said, stopping his words with a storm of hard, penetrating kisses, "Don't say anymore. I don't wanna hear it. Just make love to me, Tetsuya. We've waited a long time. Too long, if you ask me."

He pressed forward, parting Tetsuya's trembling thighs and kissing him harder.

"I love you."

"Ichigo! I love you too, but...!"

"Nope, not gonna let you back out!" Ichigo laughed, holding him down and teasing sweet moans and soft gasps of pleasure as he prepared his lover for their first joining.

"I-ichigo, w-wait!" Tetsuya panted, trying to pull away.

His words left him as their bodies were slowly and breathtakingly joined.

"Ichigo...!" Tetusya moaned senselessly, unable to stop his body from moving with the one on top of it, "Ichigo, I could become...! At least let me..."

"Shhh," Ichigo shushed him, licking his lips and plunging deeply into his mouth and body, thrusting hard and fast as Tetsuya writhed and moaned beneath him, "This is perfect! H-here, under the stars and that moon's so bright it feels like sunshine. And I love you so much I want to just eat you alive!"

"Ichigo!" Tetsuya gasped, closing his eyes as he was overcome.

His slender body rose up hard against Ichigo's, and he loosed his release in long, hot pulses onto their sweating skin. Ichigo thrust in deeply and went taut against him, groaning with pure bliss as he filled his lover's body with his seed, then collapsed, panting and smiling, onto Tetsuya's bare shoulder.

"You fool!" Tetsuya managed finally, "I was trying to warn you. I could become pregnant!"

To his surprise, Ichigo's smile didn't even waver.

"Bring it on," he panted happily, "I'm okay with that."

"You're delirious!" Tetsuya laughed.

"Maybe," Ichigo said, grinning, "But it feels pretty damned good."

"We'll see how good it feels when my cousin finds out about this," the blue-eyed Kuchiki said, shaking his head, "He's going to kill you if he finds out we were intimate, and without protection! You've set us up for a pretty scandal. You're going to have to marry me if you've impregnated me, you know...that or duel my leader to the death!"

"Hmmm, which one should I pick?" Ichigo joked, earning a sharp swat on the bare bottom, "Ow!"

"You deserve it. Saying such things!" Tetsuya complained, blushing.

"Don't worry about it. Whatever happens, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," Tetsuya sighed, closing his eyes and wishing fiercely that this time, it could be true.

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"Aki-san!" Kisho called out excitedly, catching sight of the tall, red-haired man as he approached the front of the boarding school.

"Hey, Kisho," Aki said, feeling the nagging pains in his body disappear as the little boy ran to him and leapt into his arms, "How's school?"

"Boring," the lad answered truthfully, "except that we are studying astronomy now, so we've been going out to look at the stars at night."

"That sounds great," Aki said, hugging the boy tightly, then letting him back down, "I have good news. I have the whole weekend to spend with you this time."

"Really?" Kisho cried excitedly, "Can we go camping? I'll bring my telescope so that we...erm...so that I can work on my constellations!"

"Great, you do that. I may not be able to see them, but I know where they are and what they're called."

"You do? How do you know that?"

Aki froze for a moment, frowning as he encountered a flash image of a raven-haired man, holding him close and speaking in a soft, tranquil voice about the stars above them.

"Eh...I haven't always been blind, you know," he reminded the boy, "I had a...a friend who taught me about the stars. He used to tell me stories...myths."

"Really?" Kisho asked, grinning, "That's what we're studying too!"

"All right," said Aki, "Go on and start packing. We'll leave as soon as you're ready."

Aki listened as the boy's footsteps faded. He moved forward slowly, sensing, even without his eyes, where thing were around him. He felt a twinge of unhappiness that he still limped so badly.

But being a little gimpy beats being dead any day, he concluded, And being with my little boy beats everything, hands down.

I just wonder.

I wonder if I'll ever get up the nerve to tell him.

But then, who'd want a blind, crippled peasant like me for a father? I'm a better friend. So, we'll just leave it at that.

For now.