Disclaimer: Still don't own Yugioh.
I hope this isn't too mac-n-cheesy, but I just love this couple 3
Feedback welcome :)
MONTH 1 – GOODBYE
MAI
I thought that Joey would give me the life that I had dreamed when I was younger. The life I still dreamed of having now. But marriage seemed like a far away dream and I couldn't wait any longer when it was clear we were going in different directions. I'd never admit this to him, but I could feel my age catching up to me. I was in my mid-thirties and my body was already failing me, while he was in his late-twenties and still had his youth. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with a family. I lost that chance when I was a little girl, but I had another chance to start my own now. I had dreamed that Joey would be the one to share it with me, but we were growing apart and not even our daughter could hold it together.
"Lily, let's go honey", I said, holding her hand, heading to the door of the house Joey and I used to call our home.
With two packed suitcases in hand, we were heading back to my house, the one on the outskirts of Domino City. I had planned to sell it once Joey and I moved in to a bigger house, but any effort to find the perfect home was halted by his busy schedule. Now, I was glad that I had kept my place. It still had my furniture, but we needed to pick up some of our clothes.
"Say goodbye to daddy", I continued, waiting by the door while Lily ran towards her father.
Joey lifted our precious girl in his arms and held her. "I'll see you next weekend, Lily-pad. Be good, okay?" His eyes were red – I knew he had been crying earlier. It seemed like the realization sunk in that this was real – that the three of us would no longer be living together. He kissed her forehead and set her back on the ground.
"Mai…you don't have to do this", he directed towards me, his voice barely louder than a whisper.
"I'll be back later this week to pick up more of my clothes", I replied, looking at the ground, ignoring his indirect pleads for me to stay.
Lily and I walked over to my car as I glanced over my shoulder to the door where Joey was standing. I could tell his eyes were getting darker and his nose was turning a dark shade of pink. I turned back and started the ignition. Before I even made it out of the driveway, I felt the tears roll down my cheek.
JOEY
I walked over to Mai's side of the closet and lifted my hand to touch the clothes she would be picking up today. I ran my hand over each garment that hung there and stopped at a piece of black lace. This was the little black dress she wore to my celebration dinner, the night of my grand opening. I had poured my heart and soul into that clubhouse, and she was there to support me every step of the way. I couldn't believe that she was leaving. This didn't seem real.
My hand moved over her signature purple skirts and dresses and stopped over the long purple dress she wore at the Masquerade Ball. It was the first time I had seen her in years and she was absolutely stunning. I fell in love with her again that day and I knew I would never stop. But she had made up her mind and would be picking up most of her things later today.
Moving towards our shared bookcase across the bedroom, I found her childhood storybook. The vision flashed in my mind of her reading "Kora, The Little Magician" to me. Each page sparked a happy memory for her – I could see it in her eyes. Those beautiful, big violet eyes twinkled more and more as Mai explained how this book helped her through her parents' death and the resulting loneliness. And by the last page, I knew she had to be mine.
I couldn't let this memory slip away. This book had become important to me, just as it was important to her. Interrupting my thoughts, the doorbell rang. It must have been her. I quickly hid the book under the mattress and went downstairs to answer the door.
"I'll try to be fast", she said as she scurried past me with an empty suitcase.
"It's okay Mai, you can take your time", I said as I followed her up the stairs.
Ignoring me, she rushed up the stairs to our bedroom.
"Mai?", I asked, peaking my head around the door to see her in the closet. She looked upset, but I could tell she was trying to hold it back. She was frantically throwing the clothes into her suitcase, not even taking them off the hanger. As soon as she looked over at me, her face relaxed.
"Do you want to stay for lunch?", I continued, "I bought tacos". Tacos were her favorite and I had hoped it would be enough to make her stay.
"Ok", she said quietly, putting the last hanger in her suitcase and heading downstairs.
"Thanks Jo, this was nice of you", she said smiling weakly.
"Of course, Mai", I said finally summoning the courage to continue, "You don't have to leave, you know".
She looked down, finished her last bite, then rolled her suitcase to the door. "I'll drop Lily off next weekend" was all she said before she was gone.
MONTH 2 – THE JACKET
MAI
For someone that resigned to loneliness for so many years, it sure was difficult for me to adjust to living on my own again. I was so used to Joey's cooking and the things he did to take care of us, that it took some time to regain myself. I had still been living out of my suitcase, but today that would change. I left for a reason and I needed to move on.
I started with my suitcase, slowing putting away my skirts, and then my blouses, and then my dresses. Then I stumbled on Joey's jacket – the dark blue one with the collar. I must have accidentally put it in the suitcase when I was haphazardly throwing my clothes in here. I should probably give it back to him when I get Lily next weekend, but then again, maybe he wouldn't notice if I kept it a little longer…
He wore that jacket on our first date as a couple. The date itself was horrible, but I ended the night with this jacket around me and I wouldn't trade that night for anything. Feeling the dark navy threads under my fingers brought me back to that day.
Joey had told me he planned the entire night out for us. First, we went to dinner at this new restaurant that had great reviews. I knew Joey was more of a burger-and-fries kind of guy, but he wanted things to be special for me. We both ordered filet mignons and had about seven different sides for the table. This man knew how to eat and I loved that he treated me like a queen. I don't think the spinach au gratin settled very well with me because I started to feel a bit queasy as we left the restaurant. But I knew how much effort Joey put into planning this date, so I tried my best to keep my stomach down.
Next, he took us to the hole-in-the-wall ice cream place that we both loved. I got my favorite - strawberry with chocolate syrup, and Joey got his favorite – one scoop of every flavor with chocolate syrup, caramel, and candy pieces. I remember I could barely eat a single bite because the food poisoning was starting to take over. I stumbled over my own feet as the dizziness kicked in and dropped my ice cream on Joey's shoes. It was embarrassing, but Joey didn't seem to mind. He was just worried about me and wiped it off like nothing had happened. I didn't tell him, but when I excused myself to the bathroom after the ice cream fiasco, I spent two minutes throwing up the entire night's meal and dessert. I felt absolutely terrible, but Joey seemed so happy and I didn't have the heart to end our date. Plus, I loved being with him and it was worth the endless backflips my stomach was doing.
Towards the end of our date, Joey walked with me, hand in hand, to Domino Pier. The entire stretch of the pier was set up in twinkling lights, like a scene out of a romantic movie. Then, we looked up and the sky was lit with bright flashes of blue, then red, then purple, then every color imaginable. Fireworks! We were standing under the dim lights with a beautiful light show above us. Then out of nowhere, a frantic dog came barreling right towards me, knocking me right into the water. The noise from the fireworks must have scared it, and before I could even register what had happened, I was choking on dirty water. Joey quickly took off his jacket and shoes and dove right in to fish me out. Between his never-ending apologies, he put his jacket around my shivering shoulders, and we walked home together.
Now, as I stood there with the same jacket in my hands, I found myself unable to give it back. I quickly tucked the jacket near the back of my closet and finished hanging up the rest of my clothes.
MONTH 4 – DANCE RECITAL
MAI
Lily's dance recital was tonight, and I was so proud of her! Tea had been helping her with the routine, but of course, my little girl didn't need it. Lily had grown to be mostly like her father, she had his appetite, his kind heart, his humor, his love of duel monsters, but the one thing she didn't have was his complete incompetence when it came to dancing. She was the lead in the school's production and I could not wait to see her light up the stage. Lily was always the shyest girl in the orphanage before we adopted her, but when she danced, it was like a different girl possessed her body. There was a fire in her eyes, her moves were precise, and she released this indescribable emotion in each performance. It reminded me of Joey all those times he dueled with a purpose – dueled to save someone he loved.
I arrived early to save our seats – one for Joey, one for Yugi and one for Tea – with a bouquet of roses in hand. I hoped I didn't come across as one of those overprotective parents, but sometimes I felt I had to compensate for her troubled past. The reports did not include all the details, but I knew Lily's biological parents had often took their anger out on her. She even had the burn scars to prove it, and I never wanted her to experience anything other than love from her new family. The separation had made me particularly guilty, so I made sure that we would be the first ones she'd see when she got off the stage.
"Tea! Yugi! I'm glad you made it!", I yelled as I waved them over to where I was saving their seats.
"Of course, we wouldn't miss our favorite goddaughter's recital!", Tea replied with a big smile.
"She's our only goddaughter, dear", Yugi chimed in, giving Tea a friendly nudge.
"Still our favorite!", Tea laughed.
"Hey Mai, where's Joey?", Yugi directed towards me.
"I think he's just late with work or something…", I shrugged, taking my seat.
For the past year, Joey had been busy working on his new clubhouse in Tokyo. The one in Domino was such a success, he decided to build another one in Tokyo. When he started the first one, I was so happy for him. His passion was infectious and only made my love for him grow stronger, but when he started the new clubhouse, it was the opposite. He was always out of town, and prioritized his work over his family. It pushed me away and was part of the reason why I left. I really hoped he didn't let his work disappoint Lily too. I didn't have time to think about it too much as the lights started to dim, indicating the show was about to start. But the seat to my right remained empty for the rest of the night.
JOEY
When Mai dropped off Lily, she was particularly quiet. I asked her if she was alright, but Mai just quietly nodded and left. I didn't have time to think about it for too long, because my little munchkin jumped into my arms for a big hug.
"Daddy! You missed it!", she yelled as I put her back on the ground. "I was a star!", she exclaimed, while striking a few runway-model poses. That must have been something she picked up from her mother.
"Hmm?", I asked, pretending to hold up a camera to take pictures of her poses.
"My dance recital! But it's okay because mommy told me you were there but had to leave early for work! And thanks for the flowers, daddy! They were sooooo pretty!", she exclaimed, giving me another hug.
My heart sank. Her dance recital…I missed it. It was Mai's weekend with Lily and I had completely forgotten about the recital. I was in Tokyo, doing some final business with the new clubhouse. But I should have been there. Lily was a wonderful dancer and I loved watching her light up a room. Flowers? Mai must have gotten her flowers and said they were from me.
"No problem Lily-pad, I'm so sorry I couldn't see you after the show", I apologized, my voice weak. "Do you think you could show me your routine again?"
She nodded excitedly and started doing twirls around the living room. I loved watching her passion for dancing – it reminded me of how excited Mai got when she was around her kids at work. Mai…I couldn't believe that she covered for me. Actually, I could. She was a wonderful mother and probably wanted to protect Lily from thinking her own father forgot about her. Mai always saved me from my mistakes and made me a better person…now that she was gone, it always felt like a part of me was missing. I missed her terribly.
I think Lily could sense something was wrong with me. She always was much better at picking up cues than me. She stopped halfway through her routine, jumped on the couch, climbed into my lap, and threw her arms around my neck.
"Do you think we'll ever live together again, daddy?", she asked much quieter than usual.
"What? Where is this coming from?", I asked, worried that my absence from the recital had bothered her more than she originally let on.
"I – I – I just miss the way things used to be…", she stuttered, as tears began to form in her eyes.
"Oh, my little Lily-pad", I said as I pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head, "I love you so much. You know that, right?", I asked while releasing our embrace so that I could see her eyes. I wiped her tears with my thumb.
She nodded.
"And you know mommy loves you so much, right?"
She nodded again.
"Nothing will ever change that, I promise. No matter what happens, we will always love you", I reassured and moved a piece of hair behind her ear. "Maybe we won't live together again, but we don't have to live together to be a family".
"A family loves each other. Do you love mommy?", she asked.
I didn't know what to say. My eyes stayed on the floor, while I tried to find my words.
"Yes".
MAI
"Sweetie, what has gotten in to you?", I asked my daughter, laughing, as she was climbing into my lap. She had never been this affectionate before, at least not with me.
"Mommy, don't be mad at me, but I was trying on your dresses", she giggled, hugging me. I could never be mad at her, she was too sweet. Then she continued, "And I found this!", she said excitedly, pulling out Joey's blue jacket. "This is daddy's, I know it is!", she giggled some more.
I blushed, embarrassed to be found out by my own daughter.
"Yes, that is daddy's jacket. Why don't you put that back where you found it, okay?", I said, unwilling to give it back and unsure where she was going with this conversation.
"Does this mean you love daddy again?", she asked, giving me her best puppy dog eyes. She learned that from her father, no doubt.
My eyes widened, shocked by her straightforwardness. Then I sighed, knowing that this conversation would never be easy.
"Sweetheart, your father means a lot to me. He always will because we share something incredibly special…you", I smiled as I tapped my finger on her nose.
She smiled back, but I could still see the pain behind her eyes. I hated putting her through this, but I couldn't go back to Joey. Things would just be the same and it was exhausting to try to keep it together for the three of us. He always made excuses why we needed more time before marriage and why we needed more time for a house together, and why we needed more time to have more kids. Well I waited ten years to be together and I couldn't wait another ten for his commitment.
"I…just want to be a family again", she looked down and was trying to hide her sniffling, "I thought this jacket meant that you did too…".
"We are a family, Lily. We always will be. You know that we both love you so much, right? ", I said, trying to comfort her.
"But families love each other. We can't be one when you don't love daddy anymore", she whispered, wiping away the tear that had fallen down her cheek.
"I'll tell you what…let's have a family night like we used to. You know why? Because we are a family…and nothing will change that".
MONTH 5 - FAMILY
JOEY
I knew Lily loved these family nights together. The three of us used to have them all the time before I started construction of my clubhouse in Tokyo. I was out of town and we had them less often until eventually, they stopped altogether. Lily seemed to forgive me and understood that I was just pursuing my dream, but Mai hated my absence.
The months before she left, Mai seemed to get more upset about everything, not just the family nights. Ever since the doctor informed us of Mai's infertility, she had changed. I knew that she wanted kids more than anything, so we adopted Lily. I thought that things would go back to the way they were, but they didn't. Mai was obsessed with having more kids and getting married and moving to a bigger house. But we already had Lily, we already knew we loved each other and we already had our home. I thought that we already were a family. Maybe the three of us spending time together would remind her of that.
The doorbell rang, and they were here. Lily ran inside with her little Kuriboh suitcase, since she was spending the night, and Mai had a large brown paper bag – it must have been groceries. I picked up my little girl and kissed her on the cheek.
"There's my little Lily-pad!", I said, putting her back down before turning to Mai, "Jeesh, you know I have food here, don't you?", I laughed.
"Of course," Mai replied, "this is for dessert", she smiled before tilting the bag, so I could see the flour, sugar, frosting, and other ingredients for cookies inside.
The three of us made our way to the kitchen to get dinner started; we were making fettucine alfredo with chicken. I thought this would be a pretty easy meal to prepare, so Lily could help me out. She loved to pretend to be my little sous chef, and Mai wasn't exactly the best at cooking, so this seemed like a safe bet.
"I'm going to be over here, cutting the chicken, and you girls can boil the water, make the pasta and heat up the sauce over there", I pointed towards the stove.
Not even five minutes later, I heard an "uh oh", from behind me. I turned around to find the stove covered in steam, water bubbling and spilling over the pot, and Lily running away from the scene, in a fit of giggles.
"She did it! It was mommy!", she screamed, pointing an accusing finger towards Mai, still laughing.
"Me?! I think your father's stove is broken!", Mai defended, trying her best to stop the miniature geyser from erupting in my kitchen, but instead turning every burner on full heat.
"Oh Mai!", I laughed, before taking over and cleaning up everything. "Why don't you two girls just sit over there? Waaaaaay over there, where there isn't a threat of burning the whole house down", I pointed towards the living room.
"Sorry daddy!", they yelled in unison, as they both ran away giggling.
Dinner was finished, and I called for the girls to come back. I handed the parmesan to Lily so she could add the final touch to our plates.
Doing her best Emeril impression, she yelled "Bam!", as she hit the bottom of the container to sprinkle cheese on our plates. Once she got to mine, she hit the container so hard that the lid popped off, and all the contents of the container fell onto my plate in one giant cheese mountain. Lily loved being my little helper and as soon as she realized what happened, her face dropped. She looked devastated, almost as if she was about to cry. Then, from the other side of the table, Mai's muffled chuckles escalated to a loud, uncontrollable laugh. She couldn't stop; I could see tears in her eyes, and her laughter was occasionally interrupted by little snorts. Lily's face immediately brightened up and she laughed along with her mother. Their laughter warmed my heart and I couldn't help but laugh along. These two brought an indescribable happiness to my life – a happiness that had been lost when I was caught up in work and when Mai left. No matter what happened to us, I would never let this happiness slip away again. They would always be my girls.
MAI
I had planned to do this family night for Lily – to show her that even if Joey and I were no longer together, the three of us were still a family. But maybe I was the one that needed to be shown that no matter the circumstance, we were still a family. Tonight reminded me of that.
I was in the kitchen, cleaning up, while Joey and Lily were in the living room, looking at her drawings from school. She loved duel monsters and just like him, she liked all the dragon monsters. Instead of all the harpies and amazons that I preferred, her drawings were scenes of her flying on a Red Eyes or summoning a Blue Eyes. She was definitely Joey's daughter.
Taking a break, I pulled out the bottle of red that I had brought over. For the past couple months, I'd have a glass or two every night…just to ease the stress of taking care of her on my own. I loved Lily to death, but sometimes she could be a handful, and this relaxed me. Joey walked in as I was pouring a glass for myself and eyed me suspiciously.
"We're really that annoying, huh?", his head nodding towards my glass, with a smirk on his face.
"No! It's not like that!", I defended.
"It's okay Mai, I get it", he laughed, "Pour me one too?"
We quickly drank our glass and returned to the living room where our daughter had covered the floor in different board games for us to play. We laughed all night and it felt like the times when we first adopted Lily. It truly felt like the three of us belonged together as a family. I'm sure it helped that Joey and I took turns sneaking into the kitchen to take another sip of wine, but I knew it was more than that. And this warm feeling made me forget why I left in the first place.
When Joey returned from one of his "breaks" from the kitchen, Lily and I hid behind the couch and jumped out as he was looking for us. He screamed and flew five feet in the air, which of course made the two of us roll on the floor in a fit of laughter. He pretended to be angry and scooped us both in his arms, joking how he would get his revenge. After realizing that his arm was around me, he awkwardly pulled away and looked towards the ground, blushing. His touch was something that I had missed.
It was getting late, and Lily's energy was finally draining, so the three of us decided to watch a movie on the couch. It was one of her cute Disney movies, that I knew Joey secretly loved. He would deny this, but I've seen him shed a tear during Frozen.
"Brrr, it's cold in here", I shivered, reaching for the giant blanket in the closet.
"Mommy, why don't you wear daddy's jacket? Did you bring it?", Lily asked innocently.
"Hmm?", Joey piped in.
"You know, that blue jacket in your closet, mommy?", Lily continued.
I was mortified. Joey just looked at me, confused. I could tell he was wondering what she was talking about.
"Mmmm… I think daddy probably just left it there…from before", I nervously answered his silent question, not even convincing myself that I was telling the truth.
I looked over, hoping he would believe me, but he just looked down and smiled to himself. Trying to move on from this uncomfortable moment, I wrapped the blanket around us and turned on the movie. Lily was laying in between us, and I felt her head slowing falling on my shoulder as her eyes gently closed shut. I tapped Joey's shoulder and he nodded, picking her up as we went upstairs to tuck her in bed.
"Goodnight, muffin", I whispered as I pulled the blankets up to her neck. "I'll see you next weekend".
She groggily whispered goodnight, and kissed my cheek. Then she raised her arms, reaching for the Scapegoat stuffed animal that Joey gave her when they first met. He handed her the plushie, leaned in and kissed her forehead, then whispered goodnight. I smiled to myself, thinking about how lucky I was that Joey was the father of my daughter.
JOEY
We walked downstairs and Mai cleaned up the living room – the games in the living room, the blanket on the couch, the empty wine bottle that we had finished off. I missed how she picked up after us and this entire night was a reminder of all the things I loved about her.
"Well", she yawned, "I should go. Thanks for everything Joey; this was fun", she smiled.
"Mai, it's late. Maybe you should just stay here for the night", I said.
"Umm…no that's alright", she looked at the ground, "I didn't bring any clothes or anything…".
"Mai…Please stay", I took her hand and stared into her eyes, pleading for her to stay.
"Ok", she whispered, biting her lip.
She made her way upstairs and went straight for the bathroom, finding a new toothbrush, washing her face, and getting ready for bed. It felt so familiar, like how things used to be just a few months ago.
"Can I borrow this?", she asked, as she held up one of my white t-shirts.
"Of course," I replied. Those t-shirts may as well have said "Property of Mai Valentine" by the number of times she wore them.
As I came out of the bathroom, she was leaning against the bed, waiting for me. She was wearing only my t-shirt, with black panties barely peaking underneath, almost entirely covered by the length of the shirt. Her long blonde curls framed her bare face and I was completely taken aback. Mai was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, and that hadn't changed in the thirteen years I had known her. Tonight was no different. I tried to swallow the giant lump in my throat, but my uneasiness remained. This feeling was identical to the moments before our first kiss. I wanted her to stay. I needed her to stay.
"I'm going to sleep on the couch, goodnight Joey", she stood up on her tiptoes to hug me.
I wrapped my arms around her, taking in her sweet scent. Her chest pressed up against mine and I didn't want to let go. When we finally separated, I looked into her eyes and felt her hesitation to leave. I leaned in and she met my lips with hers. It was the same fire we always had, the same kiss that sent tingles throughout my body.
I finally pulled away. "Or you could just stay here", I whispered in a low voice, walking over to shut the door and turn off the lights.
"Ok", she whispered back, tucking herself in the bed.
I crawled into the other side of the bed and Mai immediately cuddled up beside me. Her fingers danced under my shirt and lifted it up as she made her way higher. I couldn't take it anymore. Her every touch sent a spark through me and I needed her now. I lifted the shirt over my head, tossed it to the ground, and found her lips with mine. She tasted like a combination of minty toothpaste and cherry Chapstick – a mix that only made we want her more. My hands explored her chest, the fabric still preventing me from touching her skin. She moaned, and I took the hint – removing the shirt over her raised arms and quickly returning to her soft lips. I pushed her on her back as I hovered over her, gently biting her lip before navigating to her neck. My left hand massaged her breast, while the other balanced myself above her. Even with the space separating our bodies, I could still feel the heat radiating from her body. Each time I squeezed her, her nails dug into my back and she released a barely audible moan. My lips travelled lower, kissing her warm skin until I reached her chest. I took her in my mouth, interchanging between kisses and licks, while she gently pulled my hair. With each flick of my tongue, she dragged her nails further up my back before finally pulling me up towards her face.
"Joey…please", she whispered in my ear, gently pulling on my boxers.
"Do you really want this?", I squeaked out, my voice becoming weaker as her fingers started rubbing against me.
"You tell me", she grabbed my hand, pushed aside the flimsy black fabric in between her legs, and placed my fingers on her warm skin.
Oh god, she was ready for me. I moved my fingers in small circles around the slippery surface, and felt her hips raise. Understanding, I pulled her panties down and tossed them beside the bed. Mai wasted no time and pulled down my boxers, quickly taking me in her hand and stroking the entire length. I let out a groan and spread her legs around me. Slowly but assertively, I pushed myself inside of her and she let out a gasp. I felt her legs wrap around me and I pushed even deeper, feeling her warmth take over. My breathing became heavier with each in and out and then Mai did that thing that always ruined me. She arched her back, constricted her muscles, and massaged herself, moaning my name the entire time. I sped up until I had reached the edge and let out a final groan, before collapsing next to her. I wrapped my arm around her and felt my mind drift off to the first good night's sleep I had had in months.
MAI
I woke up with his arm around my naked waist, cuddled up behind me. I got up, gently moved his hand, and looked at myself in the mirror. I was still glowing from the night before and I couldn't stop smiling. Last night was amazing, but what did this mean for us? He seemed like he wanted our family to stay together, so maybe things had changed. We had this undeniable connection that I knew I would never feel with anyone else. I could picture us together, happily married, with three kids running around the house. He was an amazing father to Lily, and I knew that he would be the same with our other children.
My thoughts were interrupted by two loving arms wrapping themselves around me from behind. Joey kissed the space behind my ear and whispered "Good morning, beautiful". I giggled and turned around to hug him, leaning my face against his chest. His heartbeat thumped in my ear and I drifted off to the fantasy of our family together. Lily was on his shoulders, our son was holding my hand, and we were walking our dog in the park and then "grrmpngrawwrrr".
I jumped away from his chest, realizing it was Joey's stomach growling for food. He laughed and offered to make breakfast for the three of us.
"Sounds good", I said, searching the room for the rest of my clothes.
While bending over to reach for my shorts, a purple sparkle, poking out from under the mattress, caught my eye. It was reflecting the sun's rays and I leaned over to grab it - it was my storybook!
"Joey, what is this doing under the bed?", I asked, holding up my most precious treasure.
"Uhh…you know…I was just doing some nighttime reading", he answered guiltily, his hand grabbing his neck.
I ignored his obvious lie, as I traced my fingers over the raised letters "Kora, The Little Magician". I hadn't looked at this book in over a year and it always brought me back to a happy place.
"I can't wait to read this to our kids. I hope they love it as much as I did", I smiled, flipping through the pages.
"Kids?", Joey asked, in a serious tone. "Mai, we have Lily. She's enough of a handful for now. I don't think we could handle another rugrat…maybe someday though".
My smile faded. "Joey, you're a great father, we could do it…together", I said, looking hopefully into his eyes. But what I saw in those brown pupils wasn't the happiness in my fantasies – it was the frustration I had seen in the past year.
"Mai…I thought we talked about this", he sighed. "We don't have to rush this. We're both young and have plenty of time for kids…later", he approached me and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear.
My heart sank. I knew where this was going. We had this conversation a million times and this time, I felt my body go numb. I shrugged his hand away, grabbed my purse, and headed for the door.
"You know what, Joey? I'm not feeling very well, I'm going to head out", I said curtly.
"Mai, wait! We can talk about this. Just stay for breakfast…", he said, following me down the stairs.
I didn't hear anything. His words from earlier rang in my ears.
We're both young and have plenty of time.
We were not both young. He was young, and he had plenty of time. How could he ever understand? His body wasn't the one breaking down, unable to do the one thing it was created to do. I would never be able to birth my own children and now I felt that I would never be able to have the family that I wanted. I shouldn't have stayed the night. I shouldn't have believed that Joey had changed. Nothing had changed. I made my way to my car, only this time, I didn't look back.
MONTH 6 – MOVING ON
MAI
Maybe it was the liberating feeling I had from knowing that I no longer had to hold my tongue about children, but I had baby fever. I watched family movies and cried when the small children entered the scene. I caught myself wandering towards the baby clothes and baby shoes when I went to the mall. I took walks around the neighborhood just to pass that little park where I could see mothers pushing their little ones on the swings. Ever since the last fight with Joey, it was like a weight had been lifted. I no longer walked on eggshells, trying to avoid the baby subject. Now that there was no possibility that we would get back together, my mind was free to think about babies as often as I wanted. I hadn't even felt this strongly before our separation, but now I wanted a baby more than ever. I was ready to move on with my life and do it my own way.
JOEY
I missed her. I could still smell her perfume lingering on the t-shirt I refused to wash. Her taste still on my lips. Mai was the love of my life and I couldn't let her go. I wouldn't let her go. Our last fight was bad, but I knew that I hadn't lost her for good. Her storybook was still under my bed. That was the last part of Mai that remained in my home, and until she took that away, there was still a chance for us.
Mai had the day off, so I made my way to her place before Lily came home from school. If we talked, I would remind her how happy we were together and how we already were a family. It wasn't that I didn't want to marry her, it's just that I needed more time to think. Marriage was terrifying and the only marriage I had seen firsthand was from my parents. They fought all the time and then divorced, leading to mom taking Serenity away from me. My sister was my best friend and mom and dad's ruined marriage took her away from me for years. I couldn't let that happen with Mai and if Lily ever felt the suffering that I had when I was a child, I would never forgive myself.
The purple convertible was parked in the driveway, so she had to be home. I knocked on the door once, twice, three times, but nobody answered.
"Mai?!", I yelled, hoping she would hear me and open the door.
"Joey, what are you doing here?", I heard a familiar voice behind me.
I turned around to follow the voice and it was her. Wow, she looked amazing. Mai was wearing a low-cut purple tank top and a pair of black, tight-fitting capris. They complimented her curves so well, she almost looked bigger in all the right places. And she was glowing. She looked happy, and my smile automatically widened when I saw her.
"Oh hi Mai. You look great. Did you just come back from the gym?", I said nervously, flustered by her beauty and the confused look she carried.
"No, I was just taking a walk around the park", she answered, opening the door and inviting me inside. "I've been doing that a lot lately, it's relaxing", she smiled.
She really did look happy. And she was taking walks now? She didn't do that when we were together. And what was that on the table? I eyed a cooking book that contained hundreds of different recipes. I used to be her personal chef. Mai seemed to be moving on without me, while I spent every day reliving our moments together. Was she happier without me? I loved her smile and wished for her happiness, but a part of me felt like she was drifting even further. My confidence was wilting with every second and I couldn't find my words.
"Mai…I'm…I'm really happy for you", I managed to say.
"Thanks Joey, I'm trying my best". I felt the uneasiness in her voice. It sounded as if she was hiding something from me. The way she was playing with her hands and unable to sit still was starting to make me uncomfortable. "I'm really sorry", she continued, "but I actually have to go".
I didn't want her to leave. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and that she should come home. I would really consider marriage and do everything I could to be a better person for her.
"Where are you going?", I tried making eye contact, but she was looking at the ground. "Maybe I can go with you", I suggested, hoping this would give me more time to explain my fears and work on my problems with her.
"I'm sorry Joey…but I'm…umm..", she was stumbling over her words, "You can't go…I have to do this alone. I mean…", she was really struggling before finally finishing, "I'm seeing someone".
My heart sank. She was seeing someone? I thought that this was just another fight we would overcome, but coming here, listening to her words, it squashed that dream. "Oh" was all that I could manage to say, before heading to the door.
"S-s -see you next weekend", she stuttered quietly.
I ignored her and left. When I got in my car, I just sat there completely numb. I couldn't feel anything. She had met someone else and really was moving on. I thought that we would make it, especially considering everything we had been through.
As I turned the key in the ignition, I saw her peak out from behind the curtain. When she saw me and met my eyes, she quickly vanished back behind the curtain. I knew Mai and she had to be hiding something. It was difficult for her to tell me about her date and it seemed like something else was bothering her. For as long as I've known Mai, I've had this need to protect her. I had to follow her on her date to make sure she was okay.
About twenty minutes later, I heard her car start as I kept my head low, hiding in my car down the street. I followed her to the restaurant, only she didn't walk into the restaurant at all. She made her way towards the orphanage instead. I peaked in the window, but I only saw her reading to the children. She was paying special attention to a young boy who was quietly sitting in the corner by himself, stroking her fingers through his hair. The scene played itself just as I remembered the way Mai spent time with Lily before we took her home. I could see the sparkle in her eyes as she looked down at the boy; I could see her motherly instincts come out and it was all clear to me. There was no date. She had come here to adopt another child, and she was doing it on her own.
MONTH 7 – TOGETHER
MAI
I thought that I had the strength to do this myself. I really tried to be a better person; I took more morning walks, made efforts to improve my cooking, buried my life in work. Of course, this was mostly motivated by my longing to have another child – the walks to pass the nearby children playing in the park, the cooking to raise and feed a family on my own, and the work to be around the boy I wanted to adopt. However, every attempt to better myself just revealed how weak I was on my own. With each walk, I felt more tired and discouraged that I couldn't raise someone on my own. Each failed recipe reminded me that I needed help, that I needed Joey. Each week that I had Lily, I saw the disappointment in her eyes that she had to go back and forth between her parents. I felt helpless and alone and eventually stopped visiting the orphanage on my days off. I could barely take care of myself; there was no way that I could take on another.
I'm not even sure when things started crumbling around me. Not even a month ago, I thought I could take on the world. I thought I could be independent and strong for my daughter – prove to her and prove to myself that leaving Joey was the right decision. But I saw him everywhere. My walks took me past the ice cream shop where we had our first date. I drove past the pier on my way to work, the same pier where we saw the fireworks together. Lily's Baby Dragon and Red Eyes plushies scattered the living room, which were of course Joey's favorite duel monsters. But the greatest reminder of him was Lily herself. Her carefree attitude, the way that she saw the best in me, her everlasting hope that things would be alright – she was a direct reflection of her father.
"Mommy, can I help you with dinner?", my little girl said as she gently pulled on my sweater.
She saw that I was accidentally dropping pans on the floor. She saw that I was burning the fish for the fourth time. She saw that I was holding back tears, trying to keep it together in front of her. But what I saw in her was undying kindness. The same kindness and heart that pulled me out of the dark and let me know that things would be okay. An all too familiar feeling that I felt when my mind was rescued from the shadow realm all those years ago. The same light that withdrew the darkness when I was under the Orichalcos spell. The kindness that had stood by me, despite how many times I had tried to run away from it, and I knew it was inherited from Joey.
"Ok sweetheart", I said warmly, "we'll do it…together".
JOEY
The grand opening of my new clubhouse in Tokyo was today. I had been working on this for so long, even longer than the first one, and I hoped this one would be as successful as the original. I had sacrificed a lot of time being here, and I knew it upset Mai that I was away so often, but now that construction was done, I would be home more often. I had hoped that this would patch things between us, but I knew she was going to raise another child by herself and had moved on without me.
"Daddy! Daddy!", I heard my girl screaming out, running towards me with open arms. "This is so cool, will you go in there with me?", she pointed to the photo booth I had installed.
Lily ran from the entrance door, towards where I was standing. I looked up towards her direction and saw Serenity and Tristan, chasing after her, embarrassed to have let her go. I gave a little wave before I scooped my daughter up in my arms and gave her a kiss on the forehead.
"Of course, little one. Maybe later, when the crowd dies down a little, okay?", I said, putting her back on the ground to meet with my sister and brother-in-law.
"Hey sis, hey T", I greeted, giving the two a hug, while Lily ran off to explore.
"This looks great man!", Tristan complimented.
"Joey, I'm so proud of you! This looks amazing!", Serenity screeched, giving me another hug.
"Thank you, guys! And thank you for bringing Lily…I know she can have a lot of energy sometimes", I laughed, watching her speed around the room.
We were interrupted by Yugi, Tea and Duke, who walked in and congratulated me on the grand opening. They were there for the first opening as well, and I felt happy that I had my friends by my side. But something was still missing. I looked around all day for a certain blonde bombshell, so much that Serenity could tell I was acting strange, but Mai never came. Everyone except for Lily, Serenity, and Tristan had left and I was getting ready to lock the place up.
"Hey Trist, you mind looking after Lily for a bit?", my sister asked, before turning to me. Tristan nodded.
"Big brother…wanna talk?", she calmly directed to me. She could always tell when there was something bothering me. It was great that she understood me so well, but it made avoiding the Mai conversation impossible.
"Ok" was all I managed to say before she led us to the roof for some privacy.
"Look Joey, I can tell something is wrong. Is it about Mai?", she practically whispered, trying to be delicate, but also upfront.
I just looked to the ground, unsure what to say, even though the two of us knew that Mai was on my mind. Serenity had been close to Mai for years, so it wasn't a secret that Mai and I were no longer together and why we fell out.
"You're my brother and I love you Joey. I don't want to see you hurt like this…"
"I still love her. But it's over…she's already moved on. I saw her at the orphanage after work. I know she's adopting another child and she made it clear that she didn't want me in the picture".
"Are you sure? She always used to tell me how wonderful of a father you were and how she wanted to have more kids…with you. As long as I've known Mai, I could tell she was crazy about you."
"I guess I just pushed her away. She wanted to move so fast…with marriage and kids and owning a house together."
"Joey…isn't that what couples do? You're telling me that the biggest problem with Mai is that she wants to marry you and start a family. Does that really seem so bad?"
"I guess not. I just… I don't want things to change between us. Mom and dad had a terrible marriage and it ruined our entire family. I can't let that happen to the three of us".
"Joey, listen to me. You are nothing like dad. You are an amazing father and you'll be a great husband too. Don't give up on this relationship because you're afraid. And you know what? Mai isn't like mom either. You see Lily every other week and Mai would never take her away from you. She has been crazy about you for thirteen years…she was probably tired of waiting for you to commit but it isn't too late if you just talk to her. I just want to see you happy again".
As always, my sister was right. I knew that Mai would never take Lily away from me. Why was I so afraid? We had been through so much, but no matter what, we always came back to each other. Mai made me a better person and I really did want to share forever with her.
My sister and I made our way back downstairs and Lily immediately ran into my arms again.
"This place was so fun! I'm happy you brought me here, daddy. I know mommy will love it too. Can she come see it next time?"
I could see the sparkle in her eyes and it looked so familiar. It was the same sparkle that Mai had when I saw her at the grand opening of the Domino City location. The same excitement that filled my heart the day Mai saw the building before I had even bought it and made it my own. Lily always encouraged me and looked up to me as if I were a hero. Her undying support made my hard work worth it and it was the same support that her mother always gave me. I had to find Mai; I had to make things right.
I nodded, smiling at my little girl.
"Next time, we can come back…together".
MONTH 8 – ANIMAL CRACKERS
MAI
Today was the day. Lily and I were going to Tokyo to see Joey's new clubhouse. I had missed the grand opening because I was too afraid to face Joey after everything I had done, but this was playing out too similarly to what I had done after the Orichalcos disaster, and I was done running. I needed to see him. I needed to tell him that I was sorry and that I wanted to come home. I was blinded by this idea of what a family was supposed to be, but Lily reminded me that everything that was important to me was right here all along.
"Now you promise you didn't tell Daddy we were coming, right?", I leaned down to Lily, gently braiding her hair.
"I promise! It will be a surprise…just like when we scared him behind the couch!", she giggled.
"That's my girl", I laughed.
We made it to Tokyo and were standing in front of his clubhouse. I immediately saw the work that Joey put into this, smiling as I pictured his enthusiasm, deciding where to put the signs, choosing which designs he wanted, and making everything perfect. Then, the guilt sank in as I recalled the times that I got upset with him for being out of town for work, while I was left at home alone. He was just pursuing his dream and I lost sight of one of the things I loved the most about Joey – his passion. My thoughts were interrupted by a gentle tug towards the door.
"Let's go inside mommy! I wanna surprise daddy!", she smiled, taking my hand and leading me towards the duel disk-shaped door handle.
Wow, the place looked incredible. It looked similar to the one in Domino, but even more advanced. Three dueling arenas were in the front like before, but 4D technology was put in place, so that the duelists could truly sense the duel as if the monsters were real. Speakers to imitate the sounds of the monsters' attacks rested on both sides of the platform, floor vibrators simulated the destruction after each attack, and wind makers blew air to complete the realistic experience of dueling.
It had the same Master Duelist board and cubbies as the Domino clubhouse, and even the miniature snack bar in the back. There were dozens of little kids running around, but I heard my little munchkin call out from the crowd.
"Mommy, over here! Come in here with me!", Lily cried out, pointing excitedly at a red curtain.
I made my way over to another new feature Joey must have added. It was a photo booth, with duel monster props next to it! Lily put on a pair of dragon wings and gave me a Dark Magician girl hat and we did four silly poses in the camera. Two copies of our pictures were printed: one to keep for ourselves and the other to hang on the photo booth wall. There were already hundred of pictures on the wall, but Lily took our copy and tacked it purposefully right next to one that was already hanging. I leaned in to take a closer look and the other series of pictures were of her and Joey.
The first image was the two of them sticking their tongues out, while Joey gave an adorable wink to the camera. Even in just a picture, his charm captured me. The second image was Joey giving a big raspberry on Lily's cheek, while her mouth was wide open from uncontrollable laughter. A big smile crossed my face and I could hear her laugh through the picture. The third image was the two of them eating a giant meatball sub sandwich. They brought food into the photo booth? I wasn't surprised at all, but laughed at the red sauce covering Lily's cheek. The last image was Lily with a saucy finger going after Joey's cheek. She was laughing as he was falling out of the photo booth and only half of his face was in the shot. This was my family and I loved them. They were crazy, and they weren't perfect, but they were perfect for me.
Lily and I had explored every area of this club and Joey was nowhere to be seen. The cashier said that he was here earlier, but didn't say where he had gone. I had a feeling I knew where Joey would be.
"Let's go, sweetheart. And bring those animal crackers", I said, taking her little hand in mine.
JOEY
Ever since I had opened my club, I had been surrounded by the happy kids that dueled in the arenas, laughed in the photo booth, and chowed down at the snack bar. The early success of the clubhouse should have made me happy, but the only thing I could think about was Mai. Without her, I never would have even started this business. I never would have pursued my dreams here. I never would have had the most wonderful daughter in the world. And if I didn't take this chance, I would never know how much better my life could be in the future.
Lily promised me that she convinced Mai to visit the clubhouse. I hoped she would like the minor changes I had made to the place, but more importantly, I hoped she would like the major changes I wanted for our family. I took a deep breath and stepped inside.
She wasn't there. Was Lily unable to convince Mai to come? I walked around aimlessly, hoping that they would jump out of a corner to surprise me. The memory of those two scaring me from behind the couch on our family night flashed in my mind. I could hear them laughing hysterically and I wanted to go back to that moment when we were together. I passed by the dueling arenas – they weren't there, then I passed by the snack bar – they weren't there either. I passed by the photo booth and the wall of images, and her signature purple caught my eye. She had been here! And those four silly pictures were right next to mine.
The first image was the two of them holding up peace signs while winking. Mai had mastered the art of flirtation, so naturally she looked flawless, but my little girl couldn't wink yet and just held a finger to her eyelid to keep one eye shut. The second image was Mai holding Lily in her arms and giving her a big kiss on the cheek. My smile widened when I saw how happy they were and what a wonderful mother she was to our little girl. The third image was Lily doing her signature vogue pose, pretending to be a supermodel, while Mai, with her mouth wide open, wrapped her hands under her own chin in a v-formation, acting like the star struck paparazzi. I always knew Mai could have been a model, and even when they both just pretending, they were the most beautiful girls I had ever seen. In the fourth image, both Lily and Mai held one curved hand up to the other's to complete a heart shape. And like their photo suggested, there was an overwhelming feeling of love.
If they weren't here, then there was only one other place that I thought they might be.
As I felt the warm sand under my feet, I looked out to the beautiful horizon, the shades of pink, orange and red casting their glow on the water. Towards the shore, I saw her long blonde curls, shining against the reflection of the setting sun. Next to her, I saw Lily's brown hair, pulled back into a single braid that ran down her back. They were both sitting in the sand, looking out towards the sunset. I took a moment to capture the scene in my mind. They looked so beautiful and I was so relieved that they were here, like I had hoped. I slowly walked towards them with my hand in my pocket, trying to gather my thoughts and recite what I wanted to say.
"I'm sorry muffin, I thought he would be here…", I heard Mai's soft voice, just barely louder than the waves crashing on the shore.
"Who would be here?", I interrupted.
They both turned to look at me and Lily jumped up and gave me a big hug, animal cracker crumbs still on her face from the snack she was enjoying.
"You made it, daddy! I knew you would!", Lily shouted, unwrapping her arms from my leg.
"Hi Joey", Mai said softly before she whispered something in Lily's ear that made her run off with her giant bag of animal crackers.
Mai stood up to meet my eyes and the two of us were standing there, just as we had the first time I brought her to the beach. The tension between us was the same; even the sunset looked the same. And just like that day, all of my words escaped me.
"I'm glad you're here", she broke the silence, smiling weakly at me.
"Me too. I mean…I'm glad you made it too", I replied, nervously.
"Joey…", she started, while looking to the ground. Then, as if she had summoned the courage to go on, she took a deep breath. "Joey, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry – for leaving, for giving up on us, for everything. I wish I could take it all back. I love you and I love our family. I was blinded by this idea of what I thought a perfect family, a perfect home, was but I was wrong. I don't care about marriage, I don't need more kids, I just need you. I don't want a stupid ring because everything I could ever want is right here and I'm not running away from it again", her voice was getting shaky as tears started forming in her eyes.
"Mai…", I said as I took her in my arms and held her head to my chest. The words that I had recited earlier had escaped me, but instead of feeling panicked, my heart felt warm. I was holding the love of my life, who would sacrifice everything she had dreamed of just a few months ago just to be with me. She was the one that gave me happiness, the one I would always protect, and the one I wanted to love for the rest of my life.
She finally pulled away and I looked into her eyes, wiping away a stray tear that had fallen on her cheek. I leaned down and gently touched my lips to hers, tasting the sweet strawberry gloss that she always wore. Finally, our lips separated and without saying a word, she knew that I would always take her back. I saw it in the sparkle in her eyes and I think she saw the same in mine.
"Do you mean it, Mai? You really don't want a stupid ring? Then what am I going to do with this?", I asked, reaching into my pocket for the velvet box. I knelt down and revealed the sparkly ring. "Mai Valentine, I'm in love with you. Everything I could ever want is right here too and I'm not letting you go again. Will you mar-", I said, before getting cut off.
"Yes, yes, yes, yes!", she squealed, grabbing the ring before I could even take it out of the box. Mai quickly placed and admired the ring on her finger and pulled me into a deep kiss.
Before we even separated, Lily ran over towards us, alarmed by Mai's excitement. I opened my eyes to see my little one jumping up and down, happy to see that her parents were reunited. I lifted her into my arms, and Mai and I kissed each side of her cheek as we headed back to the cars.
"Lily-pad, why do you have those animal crackers?", I asked, grabbing one for myself.
"Mommy said that these are your favorite beach snack", she replied happily.
Remembering the many times that Mai had brought up the "Animal Cracker Incident", as we called it, I could only laugh. You fall asleep and get animal cracker tan lines on your stomach one time, and the woman doesn't let you live it down!
MONTH 9 – PERFECT
MAI
We were moving the last of my things from my house back to Joey's place today. The excitement of finally being home was what I had wanted for a long time and I should have been ecstatic, but the feeling was overshadowed by this terrible feeling of nausea. I wasn't sure where this sudden uneasiness came from since I was sure that this what I wanted. Joey and Lily were my world and they were the only ones I needed. Maybe it was the three bowls of ice cream I had last night. I had to admit, my diet was terrible without Joey's cooking, but luckily, I would have my personal chef back for the rest of my life. I smiled at the giant diamond on my finger, knowing that my forever family would always be with me. I wouldn't mess this up again.
"Babe, are you ready to go?", I heard his shout from down the stairs.
Oh, no. Joey was expecting me to be all packed up, so we could go back to his place together, but I had been sick all morning and wasn't done yet. That triple chocolate swirl was not worth it and I could not wait for him to make me a healthy dinner again.
"I'm sorry hun, I'm still up here packing!", I yelled from the upstairs bedroom closet. Luckily, I only had the clothes in this closet left to pack and I would be ready to go.
I heard his footsteps stomp up the stairs and I could tell he was getting impatient with me. I could hear his groans getting closer, as I tried to quickly pack the rest of my clothes.
"Mai, hurry up. I left Lily at the house by herself and she's –", he said before he rounded the corner and met my sad puppy dog eyes. I learned a few tricks from him and tried to look as cute and innocent as possible.
But he was not looking at my eyes or pouty lip at all. He stopped mid-sentence and looked straight to
my chest with wide eyes as if he were a teenage boy that had just seen a woman for the first time.
"Jesus, Mai", he said in a low voice as his anger seemed to melt away. He pulled me into a kiss and hugged me tightly until our chests were pressed against each other.
I loved the way that Joey made me feel. After all these years, he still acted as if I were a supermodel and the most beautiful girl in the world. I had to admit, I had always been fortunate enough to have big assets, but I had been feeling self-conscious lately. I could tell I had gained weight since our separation; it turns out, a diet of French fries and ice cream does not do favors for your body. However, Joey seemed to think otherwise. Most of my clothes did fit more tightly and I suppose I was popping out a bit more than usual and he must have noticed too.
He helped me pack the final things in my closet, and reached in the back to find his blue jacket I had kept. Lily had already outed me on keeping it at our family night, but I still felt the flush on my cheeks when he pulled it out.
"Now what is this doing here?", he asked, giving me a devilish smirk.
"Uhh…ummm…I was just doing some nighttime… jacket wearing", I replied, trying to turn away so he wouldn't see the pink that had rushed to my cheeks.
He laughed and pulled me into another kiss, before we made our way down the stairs. This was probably the last time that I would be inside of this house, but it was alright because I was going somewhere much better. Home.
JOEY
Mai and I made it back to my house and we were greeted by our little munchkin. She was so excited that we were back that she jumped up to hug her mother. Mai recoiled a bit and held her stomach, trying to hide the pain with a smile. She had told me she wasn't feeling that well and had missed my cooking, so I thought I would make a good meal for the three of us.
"Lily-pad, why don't you let mommy go upstairs and lay down? The two of us can make lunch. Will you be my little helper?", I smiled warmly at our daughter.
She nodded and ran towards the kitchen.
"Thank you, Joey", Mai smiled, before walking up the stairs to our bedroom.
Lily and I made fried rice and soup. She helped me add the spices with her signature "Bam!", and I swore it tasted better when she said the catchphrase versus the times that she didn't. For the first time in months, three sets of plates were on the table and I couldn't wipe the goofy smile off my face. The three of us were together, we were a family, and nothing would change that again.
"Lily, you can start. I'm going to get mommy", I said, heading towards the staircase. She was my daughter and I knew she wasn't going to wait for Mai if there was hot food ready for her.
I knocked quietly on the bedroom door and whispered, "Mai? Are you awake?". I heard the toilet flush and shuffling in the bathroom, but she didn't answer me. "Mai?", I asked a bit louder, entering the bedroom and making my way towards the sound. Still nothing.
I walked into the bathroom and she was lying on the floor, next to the raised toilet seat, with her hair pulled back in a messy bun.
"Oh god, Mai are you okay?", I knelt down to rub her back. She kept her head down, quietly sniffling without speaking a word. "Mai, I didn't know you were this sick…I made soup – that might help. I can bring it up here to you", I kissed her head before getting up to my feet, ready to grab the soup from downstairs.
She weakly grabbed my leg to pull me back down to her and turned to me to reveal her face. Her eyes were red from crying and her face was pale. I sat back down next to her on the bathroom floor and held her in my arms. I had never seen her like this before, her eyes were a dull shade of lavender and she looked worried, almost scared that I was upset with her. I wanted to take her pain away, I wanted to bring life back into her eyes, I wanted to protect her.
"It's going to be okay, I'm here", I tried my best to comfort her, holding her head to my chest and rubbing her back. "I love you so much, it's going to be okay Mai". She lifted her head up to look at me, but I still saw her pain.
"I love you too Joey, I'm sorry….", she whispered, looking back to the ground.
"What? You don't have to be sorry. What's going on Mai?", I quickly asked. I could tell the worry on my face was transparent and she looked even more worried when I started panicking.
She grabbed a crumbled wad of toilet paper behind her and unfolded it in front of me. I just sat there in stunned silence, my eyes glued to that little piece of plastic with the pink plus. A couple moments later, I snapped back to reality and involuntarily felt both sides of my mouth turn up into a smile. The fear that I had for the past year when Mai wanted more kids had vanished and my heart was warm. I wanted this, and not just because she had wanted this, but because I genuinely wanted to raise a child with Mai. I wanted our family to grow, I wanted to take care of another.
But how was this possible? The doctors said that she wouldn't be able to conceive her own children.
"Are you sure?", was all I could say.
She tilted the trashcan towards me, revealing at least eight other tests with the same result. I smiled. She must have found the stash under the sink, when we were trying but hadn't found out she couldn't have her own kids. But she could! There was no way that she could have nine false positives.
"I'm so sorry Joey, how could this have happened?", she sounded so sad, and I saw that she was still staring at the ground. She didn't see that I was happy, that I was excited for this.
I tilted her head up to find my eyes, "Well you see…when a Mai and a Joey love each other very much…", I laughed, and I saw some color return to her face. Her eyes brightened, and she realized that I wasn't mad or disappointed. She smiled and threw her arms around my neck into a hug.
"You're okay with this?", she asked quietly.
"Of course! I love you and I'm going to love this baby so much. I just can't believe this – it's a miracle…"
She looked relieved and then happy, her eyes sparkling again.
"Wait…this baby is mine, right?", my mind quickly turning to the worse scenario.
"Of course, dummy", she playfully slapped me, before getting more serious. "My heart, this baby", she placed her hands on her stomach, "my everything, it's always been yours", she smiled.
"These are mine too, right?", I smirked, reaching over to gently squeeze her chest.
"Joey!", she squealed, laughing, before slapping my hands away.
"What?", I said innocently, "You're just gonna wear something like that, and not expect me to look?", I laughed. Then I pulled her into a kiss.
I was sitting on the bathroom floor, a foot away from the toilet, surrounded by a dozen positive pregnancy tests, kissing the woman who just spent the last thirty minutes throwing up from morning sickness. But somehow everything was perfect.