It has been soooo long since I posted ANYTHING, but after tonight's Katy or Gaga Episode, I had to try and imagine how Kurt got kicked out of the Apples.
I hope you enjoy!
Home Again Home Again
Twiddling his fingers by his side, Kurt walked hurriedly to rehearsals for Adam's Apples. Since his new piece of jewelry took up home on his left ring finger two days ago, Kurt has been getting used to the feeling of the band around his digit. He wasn't used to wearing rings. He loved it and what it symbolized, but rings were the one thing he never wore. With his finger no longer naked, the habit of twiddling and constantly rubbing the white gold band between his pinky and middle finger quickly formed. The knowledge of such actions was barely noticeable to Kurt. Rachel pointed it out to him on the plane ride home.
"Sorry! Sorry I'm late!" the countertenor announced as he stumbled into the small auditorium and down the stairs.
Adam, who was front and center, facing his group of elite outcasts, turned instantly as the sound of Kurt's voice. He hadn't heard from the gorgeous freshman he'd been trying to win over since the day he found out Kurt's dad was cancer free. But that was two weeks ago. He smiled excitedly, his face brightening at the sight of the slender nineteen year old. "Kurt! You're back!"
The British voice rang through Kurt like a nervous shiver. He'd been avoiding his texts since Blaine and he got back together a week ago. Before he returned to Ohio, Kurt had been meaning to talk to Adam about their- whatever they were. They weren't a couple, but they weren't exactly dating. Kurt didn't really know where they stood. They never talked about it. He knew Adam definitely had feelings of a kind for him because he holds his hand and touches him when the timing is right. On occasion they've kissed, but Kurt's always stopped it before it got heated. More or less, he's just let Adam kiss him because Kurt was too scared to say something.
There was a time when Kurt was into Adam, but the more time passed- more specifically the more time Kurt had to grow into being single and comfortable in his own skin again- Kurt grew less and less interested in Adam's affection. He badly wanted to confidently say to himself that Adam wasn't a rebound, but being back in Lima, and around Blaine again, it was starting to feel like the English gentleman was just that.
Where had his life gone? Where and when did it take such a turn? Seven months ago he was still in Lima and miserable, needing Blaine to convince him to go to New York. One month later, Blaine had cheated and his world felt empty and lost. One month after that, Adam entered his life and charmed the pants off of him. He'd never been pursued the way Adam pursued him. With Blaine, Kurt pursued him. It was strange to think now that Kurt finding and trying to be romantically linked to him was more than two years ago. Where had the time gone? Now, here he stood, with Blaine's engagement ring on his proper finger; a fiancé!
He told Blaine that there wasn't a story to tell about Adam and him, but seeing the way Adam looked at him at this moment, perhaps there was a story, but Kurt never read it. Maybe Adam was writing one while Kurt was waiting for the next chapter in the Klaine series? Poor Adam, he thinks. I was awful for leading him on. Because that's what he did. Letting Adam kiss him and never saying anything about anything to Adam kept Adam thinking Kurt might be coming around.
"Everyone take five," the Apples' leader instructed his crew. He hopped off the stage as everyone dissipated and practically skipped over to Kurt, meeting him on the stairs. He made motion to give him a welcome back kiss, but Kurt adjusted his head and he ended up kissing the countertenor on the cheek. Adam knew Kurt was not really one for public displays of affection. However, he did accept an embrace. Holding Kurt after waiting a week to hear from him felt really good. "I'm so glad you're back. I missed you." Kurt 'mm'ed uncomfortably, happy that the man whose arms were around him couldn't see his face. "When did you get in?"
Kurt released himself from the hug. "Uh, last night. What was supposed to be a long weekend trip turned into two weeks."
"I noticed. I'm really happy to hear about your dad though. Cancer free. That's really great."
Kurt beamed. "Yes! I can't even describe the feeling. I lost one parent and I couldn't imagine not having my dad. Relief doesn't even cover what I've been feeling."
"I'm sure spending an extra couple weeks with your family must have been exactly what you needed." He reached forward with his right hand, blindly taking hold of Kurt's hand. His mouth opened to say something else encouraging when his thumb grazed over something hard and metal on one of Kurt's fingers. Realization set in and his heart stopped at the sight of the ring on a very specific finger. "Uh…" Words weren't coming out. What did the ring mean? "W-what's that?"
The delicate hand slipped itself out of Adam's hand and cupped Kurt's hip like a holster. "A ring." This was the moment he'd been dreading Kurt spent half the night panicking about telling Adam he was not only back with Blaine, but engaged to him.
"It's…nice."
"…Thank you." Awkward is an understatement for how the mood is.
A long pause that really didn't help the awkwardness at all passed. "Did you do anything fun while at home?"
"I saw Sweeney Todd at the community theater."
"I've never seen it live, but the movie was great. Johnny Depp was amazing. I have a hard time picturing anyone doing a better job at that role than him."
"Yeah. Blaine says the same thing." Oops. That was a mistake. He hadn't been in Adam's presence for more than five minutes and Blaine's name already has come up. It isn't a secret that Adam has a weakness for hearing the teen's name. Hearing it makes him feel unbelievably self-conscious because he wants to be as important to Kurt as Blaine is.
"You saw it with Blaine?"
"Yeah."
Adam's lips pursed as he thought, his heart sinking. "Did you do anything else with Blaine while you were gone?" The memory of Santana spilling the beans of Kurt hooking up with his ex a few months ago is still fresh in his mind. They weren't anything serious or exclusive, so Kurt certainly had the freedom to do so, but that didn't mean that Adam wouldn't be hurt. He wanted to be exclusive, but every time he tried to bring up the topic, Kurt somehow changed it. It wasn't until now that Adam noticed that fact.
Kurt looked into Adam's eyes intently. His stomach was in knots and he couldn't stop his heart from pounding. The feeling of sweat was making itself known on his hairline and Kurt couldn't hide how he felt any longer. Being honest was for the best. He nodded. Yes. Yes he did do more than see a musical with Blaine. He did many many things with him. They sang, had picnics and coffee, watched movies, got back together, got engaged, and locked themselves away in private so many times it might have been a record for them. Retracing Blaine's body with his own as he wore the white gold symbol of their eternal love was one of the happiest times of their entire journey together.
"I see."
"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you…"
"But you knew having sex with him would hurt me, didn't you?"
"I wasn't exactly thinking of that-"
"Exactly. See, Kurt, I spend most of my day thinking about you. I understood that with everything going on with your father, you probably need to go slow. I understood that he was probably the think mostly on your mind, but I didn't think that you would forget about me completely when you went home."
"I am home. New York is my home now."
"Is it? Because it seems like you didn't want to leave Ohio. Was it really your father that made you stay two weeks or was it him?"
"No one made me stay. I wanted to."
"Why? Because you didn't want to leave Blaine? You told me you wanted to be over him. You swore that it was over between you two."
"At the time I did. I really did, but you have to understand that Blaine Anderson is my first love. He always will be."
"You are living in a fantasy that I can't compete with. I can't sit by my phone, hoping you'd answer a text and not hear from you for over a week whenever you visit your family because all I'm going to think is that you're in bed with him."
"I'm not living in a fantasy. I'm really sorry that I lead you on. That wasn't my intention. I thought I had feelings for you, but the more I became my own person again, the more I realized that-"
"What? You realized what, Kurt? I tried so hard to be there for you."
"You were!"
"Then why wasn't I good enough?"
"That's not it. I'm really sorry, Adam. I tried getting over Blaine and that had nothing to do with how amazing you were to me, but seeing him and spending time with him again reminded me that I'm not even close to being over him."
"So, was this just another hook up with him like at the wedding or did you two get back together. Be honest."
"We…" His left hand went up to his forehead and he held it, feeling the sweat that formed and hoping his hands would cool it. Adam looked crushed.
Seeing the band around Kurt's ring finger again was the kick that Adam's realization needed. He could see it clearer now. What he thought was a simple silver band was actually an expensive white gold, maybe even platinum, wedding band. He knows what those look like. Another man in the Adam's Apples is married and he has a similar one. "You're engaged?!"
"Adam, I-"
"I can't believe this! What is wrong with you? Kurt, you were gone for two weeks."
"I know. I know. It wasn't something I planned on. When I figured out he was going to ask me, I actually planned on saying no, but-" the look on Adam's face made Kurt stop talking. There was no amount of explaining the amazing proposal that would make Adam understand or feel better. He sighed in defeat. This was it. The end. Blaine was his start and finish and Adam just was Adam. He had to know that. "I love him. I'm not sorry for loving him and not being able to get over him, but I am sorry for hurting you. I never wanted to."
"Well, thanks." Sarcasm dripped from the words in disdain.
"I'm sorry."
"And I'm sorry because the Apples could have really used your voice."
"What?"
"You can go now. This is a closed rehearsal."
"You're kicking me out of the choir?"
"Yes."
He wasn't going to fight it. Adam was the creator and president of the club. He was the only word in this decision. "Okay." Kurt took one last look at Adam's hurt face and began to walk backwards toward to door. At least he knows the truth now, he thought. At least this part is over. He is aware now as he walks away from the auditorium of the engagement ring on his finger. His fingers twiddle, feeling the metal band in its permanent place. It's rightful place. He feels sorry about hurting Adam; the Englishman certainly didn't deserve it. But he would never feel sorry for saying 'yes' to Blaine. Blaine was the love of his life, his fiancé, his lover, his future husband. The ring was there to stay.
So? Thoughts? I know it's dramatic and emotion fueled, but really... would it be one of my one shots if it weren't?
As always: please comment :)
Tumblr: Grace-Ryan
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xoxo -Grace
