Megan Angelaccio

The Fault in our Stars Alternate Ending

Tonight was the night Gus, Isaac and I were meeting at the church. Augustus had asked me to write his eulogy, which I found morbid, but I would do anything for him. He said he wanted to hear all the things we would say about him once he was gone. I never understood why he had agreed to stop fighting as if he knew he was going to die. All of us were told since the day we were diagnosed to never give up, and fight until the very end. I knew something had to be seriously wrong with Gus if he was going to quit. I entered the church at exactly seven o'clock, where Isaac and Gus sat patiently waiting for my arrival.

"What a pleasure to see you, Miss. Hazel Grace," Gus announced as I walked in.

"It's fabulous to see you too, gentlemen. You both look dapper today," I said with a strained smile.

"Now, let's get down to business, and start the show," he said in his typical joking tone.

Gus motioned at Isaac to begin his speech about how they became friends and told funny stories from their relationship. Isaac cried in the middle of his letter to Gus when he talked about egging his ex-girlfriends house.

"Isaac, remember what I said, this is a happy memory, I want no tears."

Isaac sniffled, and finished reading his letter which ended with a huge hug between him and Gus.

Afterwards, it was my turn to read my eulogy. I walked up to the front of the church and faced the rows of empty pews leading up to the very front where my two best friends sat. I remember talking about all the amazing experiences I had with Gus and watching his face change to match the emotion of each story. I wasn't able to describe my feelings to Gus in the short time I had with him, and this eulogy was going to show him how much he truly means to me.

"Augustus Waters, did not give up. He used his symbolism and passion to show me how to live a normal life with cancer. He is the one true love of my life, and no matter how much time we had together, we will always be each others 'okay.' 'Okay was the way Gus and I knew that we loved each other without having to say the words, I love you. Gus was and will always be the best thing that ever happened to me."

I ended my eulogy with a sorrowful goodbye to my one love, and Gus, Isaac and I walked out of the church with a great memory of love together.

Augustus was calling, asking for me to help him. He said he was at the gas station, sounded frightened and hurt. I grabbed my jacket and without hesitation sped to find my love. I pulled up to the gas station and saw him sitting in his car holding his stomach.

"Gus, what happened?" I asked.

He attempted to explain but couldn't get the words out before passing out. I called the ambulance and my parents and waited for help to come. Arriving at the hospital in the ambulance Gus and my parents were waiting all with looks of fear. Augustus's cancer had recently come back and we were all concerned that this could be it. The doctors worked to find the source of his bleeding and stop it as fast as possible.

We waited about two hours and finally the head surgeon came out with the updated status on Gus:

"Mrs. and Mr. Waters, we found the bleeding to be coming from your son's stomach, we were able to get control over it and he should recover. However, in losing so much blood before we had arrived, Augustus's body went into shock and he is in a coma. We are unable to tell when he will be conscious again, but you can see him once he get's out of the recovery room."

The mood in the room went from joyful to depressed all within a few seconds. We sat and waited to see him, with the hopes that he would soon be awake.

Days passed and there were no signs he would wake up.

"Hazel, classes start next week and you don't have any books and still haven't visited campus. I think you should come with me to campus today, and visit Augustus tomorrow," my mother stated.

I was aggravated with the thought that my own mom expected me to somehow skip a day with Gus.

"Are you serious? Gus needs me now more than ever before, what if he wakes up today? I couldn't live with myself if he woke up and I wasn't there," I argued.

"I'm sorry honey, why don't we visit him and maybe tomorrow we'll get your books," my mom replied.

In the midst of that conversation my phone rang, it was Mrs. Waters. Augustus had finally regained consciousness. I drove as fast as I could to the hospital, ran to Gus's room to find his parents sitting outside his door.

"Can I see him?" I asked Mr. Waters.

"Hazel, before you go in there, I want you to know Gus still loves you." Mr. Waters mentioned to me. I pushed through his parents and ran to him, no longer being able to resist. Augustus laid there, I began to cry at the sight of him looking so ill.

"Hey, Gus. How's it going?" I asked as our eyes met and I reached to grab his hand.

"I've had better days, but I'm still living," Gus said, he always had a way of lightening the mood.

"I am so glad to hear that." I went in to give him a kiss and he turned away. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry, I just don't remember who are you?"

My heart sank and I could feel the tears of joy transform into tears of despair.

My parents eventually met me at the hospital and brought along things I asked them for. I was determined to get Gus to remember who I was. My mom handed me an envelope full of pictures, and a teddy bear Augustus had won for me at the fair. I showed all of them to Gus for about two weeks before he finally said the magic words:

"I, I remember. Well, I remember going to the fair and winning this for the most beautiful girl I ever laid my eyes on."

I blushed as Gus relived every memory with me. After a few days of regaining his memory, the hospital released him. I drove Gus home and we spoke about what was going to come of our relationship.

"I can transfer back to our community college, it isn't that big of a deal. I didn't even like Indiana University that much." I mentioned to Gus.

"I don't want to be the reason you don't do something you love, I don't want myself to influence any of your decisions. I'll always be here if you need me," he said with conflict in his eyes.

I knew he was trying to convince me to stay but just wanted me to make that decision on my own.

" I've almost lost you twice, there's no way I am going to leave you for any reason."

The fall term ended while Gus was in the hospital, so it would be an easy transition to transfer back home. Augustus and I moved into a small apartment down the street from his parent's house. I had never been happier in my life.

Living with Gus was a great experience, and I loved every second of it. We played games, went on walks all the time, and lived like a normal non-cancerous couple. Most nights I would work on homework and Gus would play video games or make me dinner. We talked a lot about the future. Gus wanted to move somewhere warm, where we could raise our family and watch the sunset on the beach each night. We both loved to dream big in order to compensate for the childhoods that cancer took away from us. Conversations about having ten children, or owning a farm full of horses that we could freely ride were a nightly occurrence, but we would always come back to the reality that we would both miss our parents too much.

The spring term finished and Gus and I had blissfully lived together for five months now. "Babe do you know what today is?" Gus asked.

"Of course, it is our two year anniversary," I replied.

"Which means, I must take you out on a romantic date. I have the whole day planned. First we'll go to the church. Then.."

I stopped him mid-sentence, "I want it to be a surprise."

Augustus and I went around all day to the places that reminded us of our favorite times together. My favorite being the church that we had met in. He had set up the chairs in the basement, as if it was the first time we had met.

"I was standing over here, where our eyes first met. Hazel, I knew you were the one, despite your sassy comments about my cigarette, you still blew me alway. You're intelligent, beautiful and the most interesting woman I have ever spoken to."

Gus was sweeping me off my feet in every way he possibly could. Eventually, we ended up eating dinner at the same restaurant as when he first asked me out in Amsterdam. "Gus, I thought they only had restaurants in Amsterdam!" I was amazed and shocked that Gus had put this much work into our date.

"This one just opened. Let's hurry in or we'll be late for our reservation."

That moment I knew what pure joy and what real love felt like.

The dinner was amazing, Gus and I were waiting for our dessert to come when he got down on one knee and said the most beautiful thing: "Hazel, these have been the most amazing two years in my life, and I couldn't imagine doing anything else in my life without someone as amazing as you. Hazel Grace, Will you marry me?" Augustus proposed.

I was shocked with happiness, Gus took my breath away. I couldn't get any words out. I couldn't breathe.

"Hazel, are you okay?" Augustus asked.

I felt weak, and light headed. I blacked out and was unaware of what had happened. "Help, is anybody a doctor! My girlfriend…someone please!" Gus exclaimed as he cried out to try to save me.

I was rushed to the hospital, I could hear Gus explaining what had happened to the EMT, as he was talking I saw a bright light.

"Excuse me, are you Augustus Waters?" The doctor asked.

"I am, where's Hazel? Is she going to be alright? Can I see her?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Waters, but Hazel is gone. The cancer came back and her lungs filled. There was nothing we could do."

Augustus sobbed, he held my hand while the nurse called my parents.

"Hazel Grace, I love you more than anything in this whole world. You are the reason I will never give up. I will always be your 'okay' and you mine. Thank you for being the amazing person, and I love you so much." Gus spoke quietly to me while waiting for my parents to get to the hospital.

My parents arrived, along with Gus's. Gus explained what had happened. The whole room reverted back to the way it was months before when I was here for Gus. The doctors came in and unplugged me from everything. I took one final breath and was gone. Nothing was the same from that day forward. My parents were never able to smile the same, and Gus would never find true love again. My funeral was held a week after I passed. Isaac, and my parents both wrote beautiful letters followed by the eulogy written by Gus. He talked about our adventures, and ended it as I ended the eulogy I wrote for him: 'He is the one true love of my life, and no matter how much time we had together, we will always be each others 'okay.'