A/N: This is the God-awful result of putting my hairbrained ideas to electronic paper, after re-reading The Ultimate Betrayal and watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I won't be surprised if you think this is crap, but hey, I tried my best, and after typing it all up, I felt it couldn't not be uploaded. :) So yeah, this is kind of a DW/Rocky Horror Picture Show crossover, but hasn't been labelled as such as none of the characters from Rocky are actually featured as of yet. I have only taken a song. I reccomend reading this, then listening to the Time Warp (if you haven't heard it, go listen first. It'll make much more sense.) and then, if you can be bothered, reading and listening at the same time.

DISCLAIMERS: I don't own Doctor Who, nor the Rocky Horror Picture Show. If I did, I imagine I would be considerably older and possibly one of Britain's most powerful people. DW is actually owned by the BBC, to my great surprise, and the Rocky Horror Picture Show is owned by Richard O'Brien and his...associate producers...(where'd I get 'associate producers' from? :S)

Enjoy!

'So, where are we off to?' Rose said excitedly as she almost skipped into the console room, beaming at the Doctor. He returned the smile with enthusiasm.

'Well, our last trip got me thinking, and...' he began.

'And?'

'How about Hogwarts? I mean, before all of the crazy stuff with Harry and that.'

'That's brilliant!' she cried, and pulled him in for a hug.

'Hope I'm not interrupting anything.' Jack said jokingly as he entered the console room himself.

Rose ran over to Jack, still smiling. 'We're going to Hogwarts!'

He frowned. 'Seriously? Like, to learn spells and stuff?'

'No, just to look around, you know, see what it's like,' the Doctor answered. 'Before all of the...' He searched for the word, waving his hand in circles in the air.

'-hoohah with Voldemort and that.' Rose finished for him.

'Good. Hoohah with Voldy doesn't sound too great.' Jack replied, smirking, and the Doctor shot him a look. Jack immediately looked annoyed. 'What?'

Rose dashed back over to the Doctor. 'Come on, let's go already! I can't wait!'

The Doctor grinned and slammed a lever down.

Suddenly, the TARDIS began to judder and shake violently, twisting and turning this way and that so quickly that all three people onboard were thrown to the floor. The Doctor shot back to his feet and checked the screen, holding on to the console for support. His eyes widened as he breathed, 'It's astounding.'

'What is?' Rose shouted as she TARDIS took another sharp turn to the left, as some rock chords started up, seemingly from nowhere.

'Time is...fleeting!' he looked at Rose and Jack, bewildered.

'What does that mean? And what's that music?'

Jack was the first to answer. 'Maybe we've been thrown into some kind of...sci-fi horror musical about hedonistic weirdos living in a castle!'

The Doctor looked unimpressed. 'Madness has clearly taken it's toll.' he said to Rose.

'Look, trust me for just a second. Doesn't that music sound familiar? Just, listen closely-'

The TARDIS bleeped to tell them that they were nearing their destination. 'Not for very much longer!' the Doctor cried, dashing to the console to start to pilot the TARDIS. 'I've got to keep control!'

Before any of them could react, Jack was half singing, half screaming some oddly familiar lyrics. 'I remember...doing the Time Warp...drinking...those moments when-'

Rose and the Doctor caught eachother's eyes in shock and realisation.

'The blackness would hit me-'

'And the void would be calling...' Rose and the Doctor sang...

And then, the TARDIS landed with a spectacular crash, knocking everyone to the floor once more. Jack was the first to rise from the mess that had once been the console room. 'LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!' he shouted happily.

The Doctor's head popped up next and he checked the screen. 'Well, according to the TARDIS, we haven't actually arrived at our destination yet. Sat Nav was obviously a bit off. So...why not?' He jumped to his feet.

Rose struggled to her feet from behind the chairs. 'Yeah, but look at the state of the TARDIS. Will she be able to manage it?'

'Oh, course she will!' the Doctor said flippantly. 'Come on!' He held a hand out to her and smiled as she navigated through a pile of rubble.

'But I...I don't know how to do it!' she said hastily, voicing the first excuse that came into her head. She really didn't want to get caught up in a musical right now, if that's what had happened.

The Doctor and Jack were seemingly oblivious, however, to the possibly-thrown-into-a-musical issue, despite the fact that Jack was the one who had suggested it in the first place. Jack stared at her incredulously. 'You don't know the Time Warp?'

'Ignore him!' the Doctor called, glaring at Jack, and then grinning back at Rose. 'Just follow my lead.' he said, a mischievious glint in his eyes. She slapped him lightly on the arm, but decided to give up and join in. What harm could it do?

'It's just a jump to the left!' the Doctor said matter-of-factly, and the music started up again, just as the TARDIS shifted to the left slightly. They all jumped to the left.

'And then a step to the ri-i-i-iiight!' Rose and Jack sang back to him, preforming the appropriate dance move.

'With your hands on your hips!' the Doctor crowed enthusiastically, pushing a button as he put his hands on his hips.

'You bring your knees in tight!' the others chanted, before all three belted out-

'But it's the pelvic thrust' and thrusted appropriately, before moving their hips around in a circle - 'that really drives you insay-ay-ayayayane!'

'Let's do the Time Warp again!'

The rhythm of the music continued as Jack cried, 'So Doctor! Why do you love the TARDIS so much, hmm?'

'Jack. It's a time machine. Time machines are, and always will be, beyond epic on the awesome scale.'

'Yeah, but-'

'Fine, fine! I'll try my best to explain...'

Rose nodded to herself. Yes, they were definitely in a musical, no doubt about it. How had that happened anyway?

'Well, it's so dreamy' - he slammed a lever down before crying - 'Oh! Fantasy free me!'

He dashed behind Rose and put his hands over her eyes, then did the same to Jack. 'So you can't see me, no, not at all.'

He sprinted back to the console. 'In...another dimension,' he crooned, grinning and gesturing proudly at the space around him. 'With voyeuristic intention...well secluded-' he crouched down behind the console and peeked around the side of it - 'I see all...'

Jack approached him, flirting with his eyes. 'With a bit of a mind flip-'

- the Doctor darted away. 'You're into the time slip!'

'And nothing, can ever be the same.' Jack finished the sentence as if bored by the Doctor's hyperactive behaviour (not that it was as bad as it could have been).

The Doctor jumped up on to a chair and then, arms in the air, stepped off of it as he shouted, 'You're spaced out on sensation!'

'LIKE YOU'RE UNDER SEDATION!' Jack screeched as he had done when the song had started.

They both sang joyously, 'Let's do the Time Warp again!'

'Do you know something Jack?' the Doctor said. 'Now would be the perfect time for Rose to explain how she met me.'

'I couldn't agree more.'

Rose tried to say 'Oh God no...', but suddenly she felt a pull to just burst out into song. Before she could even stop herself, she had leapt on to the chairs as the Doctor had done and started strutting up and down their length in rhythm with the music as she belted out-

'Well I was walking down the street just-a havin' a think when a snake of a man' - she pointed at the Doctor and winked - 'gave me an evil wink!' She began to shimmy on the spot as she continued to sing. 'He shook-a me up, he took me by surprise, he had a pick-up truck and the devil's eyes!' She skipped over to the Doctor. 'He stared at me and I felt a change - time meant nothing, never would again!'

'Let's do the Time Warp again!' Jack shouted, and the Doctor screamed,

'IT'S JUST A JUMP TO THE LEFT!'

'And then a step to the ri-i-i-iiight!'

'With your hands on your hips!'

'You pull your knees in tight!' A metallic clang could be heard as they did so.

'But it's the pelvic thrust-' Jack crowed.

'That really drives you insay-ay-ayayayane!' all three of them hollered. 'LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN!'

All of them collapsed as the music ended, and the TARDIS landed.

Again, Jack was up from the floor first. 'Say, any of you guys know how to madison?'

Rose and the Doctor groaned.

A/N: You may never know how hard it was trying to find good synonyms for 'sing' and 'shout'. -_-