Disclaimer: Naruto and friends are not mine! (c) Kishimoto

Author's Notes: This is the 2nd and crappiest fanfiction I've ever written! Mostly because I've had this idea FOREVER and I wanted to get it out! Plus I only took like 20 minutes in writing it. So, in other words, absolutely NO EFFORT has been put into this fic. Sorry peoples.

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Chouji had been having strange thoughts lately. Not "how long is forever" kind of thoughts but more like "how long is Shikamaru's babymaker". Wait, did he really just think that? No, never ever. Impossible. Anyway, Chouji was currently sitting across from Shikamaru at a table in a random cafeteria.

"Hey Chouji, wanna try my meatballs? They're really tasty," asked the lazy genius.

"I'd gladly have some of your balls anyday. Oh my god!" Chouji exclaimed and then covered his mouth, blushing furiously. Shikamaru gave him a look that said,"What the hell?" and then shrugged it off.

"So, uh..." Chouji continued awkwardly, face still slightly pink.

"Nn," Shikamaru grunted, then started licking his popsicle. Chouji stared at his tongue, lazily flicking against the melting hunk of blue ice.

"That would feel nice," he muttered.

"What?" Shikamaru asked, looking curiously at his friend.

'Crap, did I just say that out loud?! Wait, why was I thinking that in the first place? Wait- thinking WHAT? I meant, uh..that the cold popsicle would feel nice against my tongue. Yeah, that's it. Oh please Chouji, you know you meant something else. Oops, I think I should probably say something to Shikamaru now..'

"Umm..uhh...shitalking mushrooms!"

"...?"

"Er, that is, I want some..shitalking...mushrooms..."

"What's up with you today, Chouji?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're acting like someone's gonna kill you."

"I am? Oh, that's because..umm..I'm on my period!"

Shikamaru, who had been taking a sip of his soda, nearly choked on it and spit it out, laughing hysterically. "What the hell, Chouji?! Seriously, what's up?"

Chouji looked down and twiddled his fingers (A/N: can you even imagine that? I can't. like, a cross between Chouji and Hinata. that would be scary).

"Promise you won't hate me?"

"Uh..yeah? I could never hate you! You're my best friend."

"Trust me, this is not something you'll be prepared for.."

"Just tell me!"

"Uh..well..I dunno how to say this..I think..I think...I might..like..you?"

Chouji looked up and cringed at the expression on Shikamaru's face.

"Chouji, I.."

"I'm sorry! I hope we can still be friends! Please??? I promise I'll never bring it up again!"

The corners of Shikamaru's mouth started to twitch, and then slowly turned into a smile and then a big, silly grin.

"Oh Chouji! I'm so happy! I never told anyone, but you're my one and only love!"

"Shikamaru, do you really mean it?!"

"Oh yes, yes, yes! I wuuub you my Chouji-wouji!"

"I love you too Shikamoo-moo!"

-EXTREME GLOMPAGE-

The old people in the cafeteria (which apparently is for old timers...) started shrieking and covering their eyes as the two boys started undressing each other.

"Hey Chouji, I think we should continue this elsewhere, neh?"

"Probably.." Chouji agreed, noticing the disturbed seniors around them.

So the young lovers got up and skipped away into the sunset, holding hands and grinning mischievously as they thought of all the things they wanted to do to each other. And they all screwed happily ever after. I mean lived.

THE END.